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I Love My Best Friend

Summary:
Edward loves Bella, but he's the 'best friend.' Will he ever get over his insecurities that he feels about telling her how much he loves her?
Or will he just be the best friend for the rest of his life?
Rated for later chapters, and Cannon pairings later on.
EXB fic. AH very OOC.


Notes:
I think I'll try this. Tell me what you think. Disclaimer: I don't own anything of the twilight universe.


3. Chapter 3

Rating 5/5   Word Count 2026   Review this Chapter

The sun arose, and I left without telling Edward goodbye. He would understand that I actually needed to go to work once in a while.

The night I left Edward for Jacob, we had taken our relationship one step further. It was amazing, but I just didn't feel that spark that I always felt with Edward.

Walking into my apartment, I went to my bedroom and pulled out my favorite book, Frankenstein.


'I see by your eagerness and the wonder and hope which your eyes express, my friend, that you expect to be informed of the secret with which I am acquainted; that cannot be; listen patiently until the end of my story, and you will easily perceive why I am reserved upon that subject. I will not lead you on, unguarded and ardent as I then was, to your destruction and infallible misery. Learn from me, if not by my precepts, at least by my example, how dangerous is the acquirement of knowledge and how much happier that man is who believes his native town to be the world, than he who aspires to become greater than his nature will allow.'


This book to me was nothing but fact, the truth of it was too real.


I tried to love someone who had no feelings for me and it failed. I knew Edward didn't love me; it was just friendship for him. For me to hope he had one ounce of genuine love for me in his body was stupid on my part, and ignorant on his. What he said last night must have been to some girl he called, because it was certainly not meant for me.


The bliss that I felt before I learned I loved Edward was so much better than this agony that I endured trying to love him without him loving me back.


I closed my eyes and fell back on my bed, hoping sleep would dull my thoughts, and stop my mind from concluding this situation, but I couldn't sleep.


I sighed in defeat, and rolled off the bed. How did this get this far? I wasn't supposed to love Edward, that I knew; but what I couldn't grasp was why he didn't love me. The more I thought about it, the more I couldn't figure it out.


I haven't told him I love him yet, so how am I supposed to know if he loves me?

Something in me knew I had to tell him soon, even if it destroyed our friendship. If me telling him was the right thing, I wouldn't know what would happen, whether it be good or bad.


My phone rang, and I flipped it open.

"Bells!" hearing my dad’s voice was the best thing for me right now.

"Hi, Dad!" I said, and a genuine smile appeared on my face.

He chuckled, and continued.


Epov-~~~~~~~~

I tilted my head back as the burning liquid ran down my throat. This was unacceptable, but hey, better than killing myself, right?


Emmett's fist came in contact with my shoulder, and I grabbed his hand, and punched him in the stomach.


My brothers knew I needed a release from the stress, so they thought more liquor and kicking each other's asses would help. In their minds it did, but right now, my memories were coming back to me.


I suddenly had an urge to go revive what I stored in my mind, just to acknowledge the fact that I was there through everything that Bella had gone through after I met her.

~five years ago~


The first day of college was exciting for me, but I think my parents were the most excited. My brother Jasper decided to skip college, and go to culinary school, and my other brother Emmett was drafted into the NFL before he started any of his classes.


The duty of college was put on me, the youngest, and they expected me to succeed. No pressure, right?


I never really wanted to go to college. Concert pianist was always on my mind, but I never had the guts to tell my parents.


Tanya thought I should go for it, but I wasn't sure.


Tanya was my girlfriend of three years. I never tried to look for anyone else, because she seemed content with me.

Taking one last look at my schedule, I felt someone crash into me, and I steadied them. I took one look, and I was hooked.


The most beautiful pair of big brown eyes looked up at me, and then she froze.
That peaked my curiosity even more, because nobody had reacted to me like that before.

She blushed, and quickly detached herself and stepped away.

"I'm sorry!" she squeaked, and then ran off.


-Later that day-

The first day was exhausting, yet refreshing, but in all honesty I was glad for it to be over.

I scouted for my dorm, room 27.

Rounding the corner, I saw my dorm. It was blue and inviting.

Two names were posted on the door. One was mine, and the other one was an Isabella Swan.

Opening the door, I noticed the same girl I had bumped into earlier was sitting there. She looked up from her book, and blushed.

" So," she fidgeted with the page of the book. "You’re my roommate?"

-four years ago-


"Edward!" Bells shouted. "Help me get this stupid thing on!"


I came running into the room, and sure enough, her hand was trying to grasp the zipper.

"Here, let me get that." Slowly pulling the zipper up, my hand grazed hers, and I felt that spark I had been feeling for the past year.


She turned toward me, and I sucked my breath in. She was breathtaking as a bride. She caught me staring, and she blushed.


I knew I had fallen in love with her that first day I met her, but I wouldn't have imagined I'd be the one giving her away at her Vegas wedding.


Yeah, a Vegas wedding, how fucking fabulous.


Her and her fiancée decided they wanted to elope in Vegas. Bella, James, Tanya, and I were the only ones that were going to see the wedding, and I was excited.


Excited about the wedding? Hell no, but I was excited to she what she looked like in white, with that beautiful smile of hers, and that adorable blush.


The music began, and she asked me, "Ready?"

I looked at her skeptically. "Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

She chuckled, and shuffled her feet.

Placing my hand over hers, I murmured in her ear, "Calm down. It's your big day, be happy."
She looked up at me, and I smiled and kissed her cheek.


I guided her down the aisle and I burst with rage. Tanya was kissing James in such a way, it should be considered x-rated.


Bells shrieked, and ran. Tanya and James pulled apart, and he tried to run after Bella, but my fist effectively stopped him.

He fell to the floor, and I ran out of the chapel, not caring about the cheaters inside.


Bella was right by my car, crying, and looking helpless. I scooped her up in my arms and gently put her down in the passenger seat of the car. Sobs still racked her body as I drove, but I had to get away before I did anything irrational or stupid.

-One year ago-


"Bella! Hurry up!"

It was our college graduation ceremony and she was going to make us late, again.


"Coming! Coming!" She ran down the stairs, and looked around.

Holding up her gown and cap, I smirked while she laughed, “Looking for this?”

She ran up to me and hugged me. “Ah! I love you Edward!”

I froze, and she blushed. She didn’t mean it, at least not the way I wanted her to.


I grabbed her hand, and pulled her out the door.


We had decided to swear off any significant relationships for the time being. If I were to be in her shoes, it would have taken much longer to cope with what happened than she did. From the first day I met her, almost every second of my time is taken up with ways to tell her I love her.


James had started rumors as soon as we left Vegas. Nasty, horrible rumors that nobody should have to deal with, especially her.


When the rumors began, she wrote some sort of note.

It said:

Love me.

I didn't understand what it meant. Was it some sort of code? Was it just gibberish? Was it a confession to someone?

It still puzzles me she could think this way about someone that I don't know about.

How much torture could she put me through until I crack? How much will she make me endure before we both get broken?


She walked across the stage with dignity, grace, and a small smile on her face. I wanted to go up to her, to say how proud I was, to kiss her until she fainted, but I couldn't.


My irresponsible side wanted to say, just fuck it! She's going to be with you either way. But my conscience kept telling me to not say anything, that when the time was right I would tell her.


But hell, it’s been four years of waiting for the right moment, four years of opportunity, four years of not getting what I want. I was tired of it, but I kept chanting in my head, this is all for Bella, be there for her, she needs it.


We had agreed on dinner at my parent’s house, and my mother cornered me when we got there.


"Edward." She didn't need to say anything else; I knew what she needed to know, and what her suspicions were.

"No, Mother," sighing, I pinched the bridge of my nose. "I know she doesn't feel the same. I know she doesn't want me,"

She nodded, and I followed her back into the house.


This was the end of our college days, but we agreed to live together in a way. She had her apartment, but she had plenty of room in my house, and she was always welcomed.


-Back to present-


Jasper's fist pounded on my stomach, and I pushed him back. I was getting too caught up in my memories to realize we were still fighting.


Fighting myself in my mind, I suddenly had an irresistible urge to call Tanya and say she was a cheating bitch, and broke my love's heart, but I wouldn't. Bella had taken enough of my broken promises; I couldn't give her another thing to hate me for.


My feelings were stable about telling her before these last few days, but somehow they got screwed up. She means everything to me, so why am I being such an ass?


Why do I bother? Why do I stay? Why do I care!?


I must have said it out loud, because Emmett and Jasper abruptly stopped fighting.


I fell to my knees, gripping my hair, and gasping because of the pain in my heart.


“Dude,” Emmett shook me, but I didn't get up. This was just too much to handle.

-Bpov-


“Dad, are you sure it's not over the top?” I asked again for the millionth time tonight.


He said this was supposed to be a police ball, but this looked like cheap dresses and rented suits.


“Yes, Bella. You look beautiful, don't worry,” he reassured me, and I smiled.


“Thanks, Dad.”


He merely nodded in response like usual. Ah, back to the same anti-social Dad.


This was excruciatingly boring. Even if it was spending time with him, it wasn't entertaining, or the most fun, but it was actually spending time with him, and he seemed happy.


The formality of this event was non-existent. You could tell this was some cheap hotel all fancied up, and most of the cops and hookers dressed up one step up from their usual attire.


My liking for cops just went down a few thousand notches.


Ah, well, can't argue with that, I'm already in love with a piano player.


My throat immediately went dry, and I closed my eyes.


Edward, Edward, Edward, Edward, I chanted in my head over and over again, until I calmed down.


Edward was my air; I needed him to breathe, to live, to do anything.


Opening my eyes, I saw everyone cowering on the floor from something, or someone.


“Hello, my Bella. Fancy seeing you here.”


“Likewise, James.”