Behind Grey Walls
The asylum, she knew, would be her end. She had seen it, but her father signed the dotted line and now she was stuck behind grey walls. Alice's story.
I wanted to delve in to what Alice didn't know. The story is based on her time spent at the asylum.
3. Chapter 3: The Promise
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Her eyes snapped open and she stared up at the ceiling, an overwhelming feeling rushing over her. The familiar sensation as scenes of what to come flashed before her very eyes. She felt a strangled cry escape her lips as the harsh visions caused her to choke on the air entering her esophagus.
She could feel the sweat dripping from her forehead. She breathed heavily trying to grasp control of her heart that was hammering a terrified tattoo. She swallowed hard, her brown eyes searching the darkness, looking for an intruder.
She found nothing.
Fresh tears sprung to her eyes a she wrapped her arms around her legs and rocked back and forth; trying desperately to erase the mental images she had seen. They scared her; they made her fear for her life.
The door to her small room opened and she screamed again, her eyes wide, her hands now gripping in to the starched white sheets of the small cot. She prayed that her vision would choose not o be wrong, she didn’t want to die, and not so viciously as she had foreseen.
A handsome face stared back at her. A look of concern washed over the pale face as he closed the door behind him.
“Alice, is everything alright?” He questioned her.
She shook her head, “No,” The dark haired girl whispered; barely audible.
Doctor Carson walked in to her room, “Why were you screaming?”
Alice stared at him, the large tears spilling on to her pink-tinged cheeks. She calmed herself, taking a few deep breaths, “My vision, it woke me.” She pressed her lips together tightly, fighting off the sob that was ready to come.
“What did you see? What has frightened you so terribly?”
“A monster,” She whispered her eyes large. “A pale, handsome monster…” Her eyes never left his. “He came to kill me.”
Doctor Carson watched her body tremble with fear. Against his better judgment he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against his sold chest. Comforting her. Alice flung her arms around him and cried in to his chest.
The doctor sat very still, holding her in his arms. It seemed like an eternity before she calmed herself down, or cried herself out. Carson pulled her away from his body and looked her in the face.
“Alice, I will not let anything happen to you,” He raised a hand to her cheek to wipe away a stray tear.
Alice stared at him as his ice-cold hand brushed her cheek. She couldn’t remove her eyes from him as she registered his body temperature. It was probably freezing. Instinctively she grabbed his hand and leaned her cheek in to his cold palm.
“You’re so cold,” She whispered, sniffling to keep her nose from running. Doctor Carson tried to move his hand, but Alice held it firmly against her face. “It feels nice,”
“Alice,” He whispered her name softly, so softly that she almost didn’t hear him.
“Yes?” She looked him in the eye. His eyes were a smoldering hue of amber, a color that she had never seen before.
“The monster that attacked you in your vision—” He started, his eyes leaving hers to look down at his lap.
“Is not you,” She whispered, catching his gaze again.
Doctor Carson’s hand fell from her face; he wasn’t sure what to say next, or what to do next. He had never in his many years come across someone like Mary Alice Brandon; someone so unique, someone who knew what he was and didn’t run away.
“You are not afraid?” He whispered.
“I know you won’t hurt me.” She replied straightening her back, her chin lifted just a bit. “You will help me in the end,”
Doctor Carson didn’t anything; h e could see the assurance in her eyes. Alice gave him a ghost of a smile, she had seen her future, and it would end soon but she knew at least for the last days of her life that Doctor Carson would be there for her.
“Alice,” His voice showed that he was unsure of himself, or what he was about to say. The petite girl’s ears perked up. “Your treatment will begin tomorrow,”
“I know what’s coming, Doctor Carson,” She told him, her voice breaking as she did so.
“And you are not scared?” He pressed his lips together.
“The only thing I’m frightened of is the monster from my vision,” She said sadly. “Nothing they can do will make me feel the pain I will when he kills me.”
Carson grabbed her face in his hands and stared down at her, those amber eyes burning in to hers, “I will not let that happen,”
Alice smiled at him warmly, lifting her warm hand to his cold face, “If it is meant to happen, it will…”
“We can change it, Alice.” He told her carefully stroking his fingers down her cheek, past her jaw line and to her neck.
“And if we cannot?”
“We will, there is no other option.”
She had fallen asleep that night resting her head against his shoulder, enjoying the comfortable silence that fell between them after that. Alice had never felt so comfortable with someone like she did with Doctor Carson; she had never trusted someone the way that she did him.
“Time to get up,” A monotone voice woke her from her sleep.
Alice sat up in her cot and stared at the open door. An older woman who looked anything but nice stood there, her hands on her hips.
“Out of the bed miss, move along.”
Alice pushed her covers off of her body and followed the woman to the bathroom; she fell in line with many other young women. Most of them were mumbling nonsense, others were shifty-eyed and looking around as though someone was after them.
She knew then that she did not belong amongst these people. That staying here would only make her crazy. She stared down at her feet and followed through.
“You will be trouble,” A woman in a nurse’s outfit mused snatching Alice violently out of line. “You will waste too much time.” She continued.
Alice wasn’t sure what she was talking about, but then she saw it. Her vision clouded with another premonition. She could see two other women holding her down as the woman with the death grip on her arm cut off all of her hair.
Her mouth fell open and she tried to get out of her grasp, “No, you will not!” She cried out, pushing the woman away.
“Oh yes,” The woman stared at her with crazy eyes. “Edith, Carol, hold this one down.” She grabbed Alice again, this time even rougher than before, pushing her towards the two women she had seen in her vision.
“Not my hair, please, no…” She cried out.
The woman smiled at her and her arms were grabbed by the other two women. The butch looking nurse grabbed a pair of scissors and grabbed a lock of Alice’s tangled hair.
Alice thrusted her legs outwards, trying to break free, “No, please don’t…. no!” She cried out desperately. She had seen this before that she would have short hair, but she didn’t want to believe it. Her beautiful, long hair was going to be gone. She couldn’t stand it. “Don’t!” She cried out, the tears falling from her eyes.
She tried to push the other women off of her, but it was useless. She was only 4’11 and barely weighed over 100 lbs. There was no possible way she could fight off these brute nurses.
She knew she couldn’t fight it any longer; she stopped thrusting out of her seat, and sat still sobbing and crying as her long, ink-black hair was chopped off messily. The nurses let her go and Alice looked down in her lap where a lock of her hair sat carefully on her bare thighs.
She sat holding the piece of hair between her fingers and cried. None of the other patients dared to look at her. She wondered how terrible she looked. She wondered if she would recognize herself.
Standing up from the chair she walked in to the bathroom. Only five small mirrors hung over the sinks, they were covered in what was probably stains and mildew, she could barely see through the scum.
Her reflection came back and nearly scared her. Her hair was messily cut in to short black spikes all over her head, her eyes were blood shot and the area around her eyes was puffy. She looked away from the mirror and glanced at the butch nurse that had cut off all of her hair.
“In the shower, now” She motioned to an open stall.
Alice stared at her for a long hard moment and reluctantly walked in to the shower. She touched her soft spiky hair and felt the tears coming again. She was unrecognizable. What would Doctor Carson think? She wondered turning the water on. She stepped out of the way and waited for the hot water to come, but it never did.
She had to take a cold shower. Her lips chattered; she could handle this. She knew she could. She was strong. She dried off and grabbed the clean gown that was hanging next to her towel and slipped in to it.
The door opened and the nurse grabbed her roughly by the arm and pulled her out.
“Too long,” She muttered angrily.
Alice yelped in pain as the nurse’s grip tightened and she dragged Alice back to her room. She shoved her in to the room and slammed the door closed behind her.
Defeated, Alice sat down on her cot and stared at the wall, feeling her insides slowly falling apart. She curled up on her uncomfortable bed, pulling her knees in to her chest, wishing for something more.
There was a knock on the door and it swung open seconds later, “Alice,” His voice was soft and carried like a musical note throughout the room. She opened her eyes and he stared at her, “Oh Alice,”
Doctor Carson moved to her bed, sitting down next to her curled up frame. He placed a cold hand on her shoulder and looked her over.
“They cut my hair,” She squeaked.
“I know,” He felt terrible for this. He wished that they hadn’t done so.
“I look so hideous,” She whispered harshly.
Carson shook his head and brushed his fingertips over her new short hair style. He let his fingers linger there just a moment longer than he probably should have.
“No, Alice.” He looked down at her, making sure to make eye contact. “You look beautiful, you will always be beautiful.”