Since Eclipse came out, this is extremely outdated, and I haven't written in a while and considered discontinuing it, but some extremely nice people said I should keep going!!! (You all deserve cookies and hugs, by the way). So, once again: Bella and Edward are finally married, but when some of the Cullens' close friends have tragedy thrust upon them, and an unwelcome visitor (at least to Bella) comes to stay, what will happen next? Teen rating is a safety net....there are some incredibly prude people out there. It isn't really that bad, but whatever. Reviewing my story would be like a little kid seeing Santa and Rudolph on Christmas!! You know you want me to feel like that!!!Chapter 9 is up!!! Finally!!! WOOHOO!! R&R, cause ya know I love hearing from you!!
It's just something I'm trying my hand at...review and tell me how I did. Pwease??? *pouts adorably*
1. Chapter 1
Rating 5/5 Word Count 1564 Review this Chapter
As we stepped out of the forest, Charlie saw me and Edward, hand in hand. For obvious reasons, this did not make him happy. I could still feel Jacob’s stare drilling holes into my back. And then…it was gone. “Isabella Marie Swan, if I do not see this—this—him gone in the next minute, matters are going to be even worse for you than they already are!” I looked up at Edward, the question already in my eyes. He nodded, the answer already coming to his lips. “I’ll see you tonight,” he said quietly, in that fast way of his. I nodded. He looked at Charlie and said, with regret in his voice, “I know you despise…worse than despise me right now, but I will do as much as I can to again change your opinion of me for the better.” He squeezed my hand, looked meaningfully into my eyes once more, and walked back to his car before Charlie, too angry to even speak, could reply.
After Edward had driven away, I looked at Charlie accusingly. “I just want you to know, Dad; his leaving wasn’t completely his fault. You can blame him as much as you want to, but I want you to know that I don’t, and I’m not going to, not anymore.” Proud of that small speech, I tried for a dramatic exit. Of course, being me, that wasn’t to happen. As I walked away, I managed to find the only large rock in our yard, and fell on my face. I slowly got up, and snuck a peek at my extremely angered father. His face was actually turning an interesting shade of…purple. Most definitely not healthy.
“You want me to forgive him? Is that what you’re actually saying? You want—Bella! This is the guy who left you, months ago, basically catatonic! You wouldn’t listen to music, you wouldn’t read books, you wouldn’t talk unless spoken to...All because of him! And then when, all of a sudden, he walks back into your life, you act like nothing happened! I can’t do that! I suffered through months of worrying over you! I can not forgive what he did to you, Bella, so don’t ask me to.”
I nodded. “I understand that, Dad. All I want is for you to understand that it wasn’t really his fault. I just don’t want you to lay all the blame on his shoulders.” Hoping he had forgotten about the mildly incriminating red bike lying in the driveway, I tried to leave.
“Wait a minute, young lady! This discussion is not over. Would you like to tell me why you have been doing everything possible on earth to kill yourself, if not for this punk?” I winced.
“Dad…this had nothing to do with Edward. It can’t have—he wasn’t here!”
“I know he wasn’t here, Bella, and you know exactly what I mean. You’ve been doing this for his benefit, whether you knew it or not. Bella! I know what you were going through! I did the same thing when your mother left me…just maybe not quite so …extreme! It’s not something I’m proud of, but I’ll tell you so you’ll understand. I drank most of the time. There were times when I would be drunk, wondering whether she would come back or if it she would care if I were gone. A lot of things I did, they were punishing myself for not being able to keep her, or for doing something wrong to make her leave. I did some dumb things during that period in my life, most of which I will not tell you, for the sake of understanding or not, but while I thought about doing some things, I most certainly did not do them!
“Did you stop to think what would happen to the rest of us if you’d died? How the hell do you think we would have felt? Huh? Do you know the guilt your mother and I would have lived with, thinking if we’d tried harder, we might have been able to stop it? No! You didn’t! You—”
“Dad! All right, I understand you’re point. Now understand mine when I tell you that I was not trying to kill myself! It—No. You wouldn’t understand. You’re right, okay? I lied to you! I never fell in the garage, they were motorcycle accidents! Can I go to bed now? I think it’s understood that I’m grounded again, for even longer.”
My bad…guess he hadn’t yet figured out the accidents…“You lied to me? I actually believed you! Bella, this is ridiculous! And yes, I would hope that it’s kind of mutually understood that you’re grounded again! I haven’t decided yet, but you can tell Edward”—the name was said with a pronounced and slightly irritating sneer— “that you will most certainly not be going anywhere for the next four months, and you will definitely not be doing anything with him! I don’t want you spending any time with him. He’s not good for you.”
I sighed. “Fine, Dad,” I said wearily, walking past him and through the door. I knew he would say no to my seeing Edward, but I had still had a small hope. I didn’t exactly like lying to my father, but there were ways around that particular punishment. Knowing Edward had heard most of the conversation and was already waiting in my room for me, probably extremely overcome with guilt, made me walk a bit faster. Again, this made me trip, this time going up the stairs. A glance outside showed me that Charlie was still standing where I had left him. That caused a small touch of shame.
I reached my room, where Edward was standing by my bed, staring sightlessly out the window. I knew that he knew I was there, but he still didn’t turn around. I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around him. “Obviously you heard that. Tell me what you’re thinking,” I told him.
“Is it true? You were actually hurting yourself intentionally because—what? Because you wanted to know if I would miss you if you were gone? Or punishing yourself for not having the ability to keep me?”
I could almost see the guilt eating away at him. “Edward. No. I did that to break my promise. You had broken yours, and I wanted to sort of even the score. It was nothing more, and it certainly wasn’t your fault.” I could tell that what I had said hadn’t helped. In fact, it almost looked as if it had hurt more. I couldn’t bear that thought—if he was hurting, I did too, possibly even twice as badly. I walked around to face him fully, and forced him to look at me. “Listen. It was not your fault. Even if I had killed myself, it wouldn’t have been your fault.” At that he flinched, and I immediately regretted my choice of words. The pain in his gorgeous topaz eyes was unbearable, but I had no idea how to fix that. How could I possibly relieve him of this guilt, when I already knew it was my fault that he was feeling it at all?
“Bella, we both know that if I hadn’t gone, none of this would have happened. You would never have tried the bikes, or jumped off of that cliff…or any of that.”
I stared straight into his eyes and said as earnestly as I could, “You don’t know that. You’re not Alice. I might have done it anyway, though the danger factor would have been slightly less. The fact is, unless you’ve gained some power like Alice’s that I haven’t heard about, you don’t know what I would have done. What I know, though, is that I would like nothing more than to marry you, and I will spend the rest of my life showing you that this wasn’t your fault, and that the blame all lies on my shoulders.”
Finally, he looked at me, really looked at me, and grinned that amazing, crooked smile that I loved so much. “I knew you would give in eventually.” With that, he kissed me. As long as I lived, I would never outgrow the fierce pounding of my heart that accompanied his kiss. I lost my mind a little bit again, and wrapped my arms fiercely around his neck. He smiled, and disentangled himself from the death grip I had. “You really must stop attacking me whenever I kiss you.”
I smiled and nodded, then pressed another small kiss to his lips. “I’m going to go take my human moment, and then I’ll be right back. Don’t move,” I commanded him fiercely, as I rushed to the bathroom.
When I came back, I laid down next to him, and he wrapped his cold, stone arms around me. He began humming my beautiful lullaby, and gradually I fell asleep. For some reason, the nightmare came back again that night. There was an added element, though. Instead of the nothingness, the emptiness of the previous dream, I knew what I searched for. Edward. He was in trouble, worse than with the Volturi, and I had to save him, but I couldn’t find him anywhere.
I woke up screaming and alone.