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After Dawn

Summary:
After Dawn This is the story of Renesemee after Breaking Dawn. It shows her extreme love for Jacob and fight with the vampire side of her. When something horrible happens how will Nessie cope? And will Jacob stand by her side? banner by MRSBellaCullenBlack! Inspired by Black stars by Lunamoon! (Check it out!) Rated R for language and mature themes.


Notes:


12. With all my life

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1484   Review this Chapter


It all happened very quickly then, Felix and I. It almost seemed as if we were made exactly for each other- it seemed wrong to think that I had rejected him all those months ago. I was still hurt yes, but I had an understanding now, I blamed myself just a little for not knowing…not knowing that what he wanted back then was precisely what I wanted. I didn’t seem so un-normal when he was around; I seemed part of a bigger story part, of a better life. My life with him and Dawn, the two people I cared most about. You should’ve seen Aro’s face, when we walked into a meeting the next day, hand in hand, attached at the hip. It was quite comical but I didn’t care and frankly neither did Felix, we were just there…waiting to go back to our room and finished what we had started that night. Dawn was frequently with Jane, she loved to show him all her dirty tricks and mostly I didn’t mind as long as he understood the right and wrong places to use them. She was a twenty four hours babysitter extraordinaire, and soon she became my best friend.

“So I guess you and Felix are like an item now?” She asked me one day after we had ‘reconciled’.

“Yes Jane, I guess we are.” I smiled to myself thinking about him.

“I think im going to give up on Demitri. He’s hopeless plus he’s as dumb as rocks!” She laughed and then stared intently into the road in front of her.

“Don’t give up just yet Jane, you’ve only just begun.” She rolled her eyes.

“That’s easy for you to say. You have someone who loves you, a child, a life! I have absolutely nothing.” She said frowning.

“You have family, beauty and an amazing power!” I contradicted her.

“Our powers are not our only gifts Ness. Not only are you a communicator you have the incredible ability to love! I want to be able to love someone Ness, not just hurt them. I’m only good for hurting people here Ness, can’t you see that’s not what I want?” I cocked my head to the side and smiled.

“Okay let’s make a deal, if I successfully hook you up with Demitri you can have unlimited teaching powers with Dawn for a week! What do you say?” Her lips pulled into a crooked smile and her eyes lit up.

“Really? Really Really? Wow this is great because either way I win!” She laughed.

“I win too you know.” I said after a few minutes. “I win if you’re happy.” Jane reached across her seat and grabbed my hand.

“You are a good person Renesmee- no not Vanessa this time, im talking to Renesmee- you are an exquisite example of how all the world should be and don’t you forget that.” I looked away from her compassionate gaze and felt a little sting of tears at the corners of my eyes.

“Thanks Jane. And you know, you are capable of loving someone, because I know you love me and you love Dawn and really that’s all the proof I need to get Demitri to love you.” The rest of the ride home was silent.

****

The best part about Felix was his smile- a smile that could warm a long cold heart. I don’t know how I never noticed it before. He smiled wistfully at me as we lay in bed one night- he had invested in a bed due to my obvious need of sleep. The soft glow of his red eyes and the shimmering hue of his skin glowed in the dark room. He stroked my hair and kissed the top of my head silently while I thought up all the questions in the world. He never failed to answer any of them.

“What was it like before me?” I asked quietly.

“Empty, quiet, useless.” At the last word he kissed me on the lips.

“Have you ever loved anyone else?”

“Never in any lifetime.” He replied.

“Have you ever thought of leaving this place?”

“Only with you.” He said.

“Can I see her? Your mother?” This was the only question he would not answer.

“My mother is dead, or at least she might as well be. Aro is torturing me this way, for his own sick amusement. He sees how much it hurts me and he laughs, I know he does.” Felix grimaced and turned away from me.

“Don’t go. Just a little while longer.” I whimpered not wanting him to leave. Dawn slept quietly in the room next to ours and I could hear his tiny breaths and his slow heart.

“Dawn will be up soon though.” He said. “I can’t have Jane all the weight here.” He laughed.

“Dawn is fine and Jane is with Demitri. Don’t be such a party pooper, just come lay down with me for five more minutes.” He rolled his eyes and smiled.

“Party pooper? I haven’t heard you say that in a long time.” I laughed to.

“It’s just one of those words that remind me of them. I miss my family so much Felix…will I ever see them again?” He shook his head sorrowfully.

“I don’t think so Ness, it would be too dangerous, not only for you and me and the well being of our relationship but also for Dawn. Who know what he’ll do to the baby when he figures out it was the very thing that brought us together.” He was Jacob and I already knew that.

“He’d never do that Felix, not if it’s not what I wanted.”

“Well we don’t know that do we? And im not about to go finding out and get you or Dawn hurt in the process.” He kissed me again and jumped off the bed.

“Come back soon.” I murmured before he walked out of the room.

When Felix returned with Dawn in his arm I smelt a peculiar smell. Was it sliver? I glanced around the room for the piece of metal until I saw it- sitting in the palm of Felix’s hand. I don’t know what I was thinking just then but before I knew it I had leaped off of the bed and snatched up the little jewelry box in his hand. A ring.

“For you.” He said simply, smiling the smile I loved. My heart burst into flames and I was filled with tears in a second.

“Really? Really!” I shrieked through tears.

“Only if you want to.” He took out the ring and placed it on my fingers with a feather like touch.

“Of course I want to Felix. I love you.”

“I love you too Vanessa, with all my life.” I took Dawn in my arms and hugged him tight.

“Mother, I love you also.” He told me through touch.

“I love you more.” I sent back. We smiled at each other but only for a little while before Felix interrupted us.

“I wish you guys wouldn’t talk like that. It makes me feel left out.” I chuckled through more tears.

“You’ll never be left out Felix, ever.”
“Im glad, because I don’t want to miss out on anything else anymore. I love you both more then you can imagine.” He said.

“I love you too daddy.” Dawn said aloud. We hugged then, all of us together, trying to never forget this moment in time.

Though I was beyond happy and comfortable with my new life, I couldn’t help but think that the shiny ruby on my left ring finger used to be the spot where a different ring sat. A diamond. A diamond given to me by someone I had lost to long ago. Jacob. Saying his name made me shiver and it sounded so awkward on my tongue. Laying down that night I couldn’t help but think of him, think of his smile and his laughter. I guess Felix could feel the tension radiating off of me as he lay next to me that night because he didn’t say a word and he didn’t try anything funny. I loved Felix, even after everything he put me through…I loved him more then life itself but this was my new life. In my old one would I have loved him just the same? Or was the person I was those months ago really meant to be with Jacob. And most importantly who was I now? Now that I was happy. Was I Vanessa or Renesmee? Only time will tell but for now I’ll just lay her with my fiancé, in his loving arms.