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After Dawn

Summary:
After Dawn This is the story of Renesemee after Breaking Dawn. It shows her extreme love for Jacob and fight with the vampire side of her. When something horrible happens how will Nessie cope? And will Jacob stand by her side? banner by MRSBellaCullenBlack! Inspired by Black stars by Lunamoon! (Check it out!) Rated R for language and mature themes.


Notes:


4. Defenseless

Rating 5/5   Word Count 962   Review this Chapter

“Can’t you just get it the fuck out of me!? Just get it out please!” I yelled to my very annoyingly unhelpful grandfather Carlisle.

“Renesemee we just can’t. Thought the baby is only three-fourths vampire it is just too strong. You will give birth in two months, maybe three tops. There’s just no way to tell how this is going to go- I don’t even know if it will have the same effect on you as it did your mother.” My eyes were blazing with anger and hate; all the sorrow I had felt was washed away already, I was ready for payback. The only thing stopping me was Jacob. ever since the day Felix came, Jacob remained shut up in the room talking to no one but me. The family had come home that night when we called them and after a ton of fighting him and my dad almost killing each other he locked himself up.

"Why weren't you there to help her?!" Jacob roared with fury.

"How were we to know he was coming?" My dad shouted back.

"Why didn't your little psychic leech know? Why didn't she see?!"

"She can't see you or Nessie you stupid dog! And speaking of all things canine where were you? So much for you turning into a wolf being helpful! You couldn't even protect her!" Jacob got up in my dads face ready to rip it off while my mom sat weeping dry tears watching the fight.

"You don't know how it felt to be there! It was something more then anger! It was like wanting to end your life!" He cried before ripping hand rails off the stairs and making a enormous hole in the wall.

Now I had my grandfather and dad standing over me like fucking idiots, not knowing what to do. Felix's wishes were granted after I had to wait two horribly sleepless weeks to see if I was pregnant. How could I ever love this child when it was forced and unwanted? When its father was a bastard and his mother's family was no match to his? How could Jacob love me when I was carrying a monsters child? How could he want me after I was so damaged? So broken?

My father was as useless as a soggy sock. He knew all to well about the powers of the Volturi. When they really wanted something they would have it- one way or another. My uncle Emmett went through fits of anger and rambled on about killing Felix until Jasper had to calm him down using his magical mind powers. I try so hard too keep my powers in check because every second, every day I’m thinking about it. It was brutal, without mercy and completely wrong. No one should have to go through something like that, no one should even have to witness that, that's why I never bother to use my powers anymore.

Jacob is like a zombie. Only eats when he absolutely needs to, only answers when directly talked too, he can't even look at me without falling apart. He's actually taking harder then I am which is amazing compared to how low I've been. The sickness and stomach aches are only part of it. What about the confusion and depression that comes with being forced to love something you never wanted. The life growing inside me gets bigger and bigger everyday and my strange new fascination turns from absolutely despising it to protecting it like no other. I toss and turn at night thinking about what I could do, anything, to save me and my child. As usual, I am totally defenseless.

I woke up and stood in front of the mirror staring wide eyed at my stomach. It seemed to have grown twice the size overnight, suddenly I could here Jacob get up falling into his usual routine. But when I didn't hear him get up and pee like every dull depressed morning I turned around surprised. Was the spell finally over?

"Your getting bigger." he whispered, his words slurring with sadness but with a strange glint of interest in it.

"Ummm...yeah." I blurted out not prepared for his sudden awakening.

"I'm sorry." he murmured again looking at the floor with his head in his hands. "I should’ve done something. Anything! I just... I... I didn't know what to do. Do you know how it feels not to be able to save someone you love from harm?" He cried as he told me this and looked up with all apologies in his eyes. I cupped my hands on my stomach and an unexpected tear rolled down my face. I thought I had grown immune to Jacob’s somber mood, but I was wrong.

"Yes. Yes I do." I let out wrapping my arms around my stomach defensively.

"I don't know what to do either Jacob, I love this baby!" I cried and he got up and hugged me tight.

"As long as you love it, I'll love it too." he whispered stronger then I’d heard him in weeks. But that was Jacob’s problem, he always loved someone totally useless, before with my mother and now with my baby.

"They’re going to take it away Jake! They’re going to take it! Don't love it please! I'm having enough trouble trying not to get attached to it. Please don't even try."

"I know I didn't do anything before but I'm going to spend the rest of our eternities making up for it starting with this. They’re not going to take it babe I won't let them." He said determined and angry.

"Jacob I love you so much!"

"I love you to Ness, I really do."