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Why was I doing this? Why couldn’t he just turn me? Why must I be such an average plane boring girl? What could I do other than this? Why am I doing this to every one whom I love and that love me? These questions have yet to be answered. And I know I’ll have to involve Jacob or another werewolf so that Alice can’t see any thing. Or will I just not plan anything? All I know is I will die. Nothing will stop me. (This story is very confuzing but if you read the whole thing you'll understand....and love it! Please write a review, thanks!)

This story actualy takes place in the middle of Eclipse, right after Leah and Seth become werewolfs.

1. Deserving

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1891   Review this Chapter

It was another one of those wonderful sunny Saturdays. Of course Edward and I would be spending the day in our meadow. So I rushed to the bathroom to get ready. Charlie was up and of course wanted to know were I was going.

“Dad relax. I’m going to spend the day in Port Angeles with Edward.”

Again?” Edward and I have been going to the meadow more and more often-getting away from chaos is nice every once in awhile.

“Yes. You should go fishing with Billy. We only have ten twenty-pound fish left.”

“Alright. That sounds like fun actually. Billy and I haven’t been out in awhile.”

Then he left me alone and I was back to hurrying around the house. I expected Edward at 9 o’clock sharp and it was 8:45 now. So I inhaled a bowl of cereal and sat down on the couch to wait even though I knew as soon as Edward heard the chaos of the house stop he would be on the front step.

Sure enough there was a Volvo in the drive way the moment I sat. Charlie was already gone and Edward was free to be a vampire. I got back up and Edward appeared in front of me to help slide my jacket on. We got to the car and I realized Edward was holding a small silver camera. When we were both sitting in the car I asked him why he had the camera.

“Well I thought we would document some things like…” He paused

“Like...” I urged. What could he be getting at?

“Well we really don’t have anything to look at while one of us is away. You know like when I’m hunting, I hate that it makes you sad so I thought this might ease the pain a little.”

“Oh Edward! That’s a wonderful idea! I think it will help tremendously!”

He smiled my favorite smile and said “you have to keep the pictures from other eyes though.”


“Um. Bella, I’d be sparkling.” Oh. Yea.

“Well can we take a few in the shadows? I want to frame you.” I blushed at what I’d just admitted.

“Sure love. That would be fine.”

I hadn’t realized we were driving until he screeched to a stop. Edward looked so angry he could burst. I unwillingly tore my eyes away from his face and saw what was bothering him.

Jacob Black. Of course why else would Edward be mad? Jacob was standing in front of the car with his hands out motioning us to stop. Why was he here? Jacob ran to the passenger window as I rolled it down.

“Jacob is something rong? Why are you here?” I called to him.

Jacob was at the window and said”Um. Bella. It’s…it’s…it’s Leah.” His face fell and I was filled with worry.

“What’s rong!?! It she hurt? What happened?” Edward was a sculpture of anger next to me. He still looked mad but I could now see that it wasn’t Jacob he was angry with. Could he be mad at Leah?

“No, no Bella. It’s alright. She’s fine.” I didn’t the she’s in it.

“Then what is it Jake!?!”

“Leah. Well, she…she lost control and she attacked…” I was suddenly washed with anger, who did she hurt!?! WHO!?!

“WHO JACOB!?! WHO!!!!” I was demanding now. If she seriously hurt someone….

“She attacked” the longest of all pauses “Alice.” Oh. My. God. What! What!!! ALICE!!!!! NO! NO! If Leah hurt her! I’ll kill her!!!

My cheeks were drenched in tears, my sobs almost a scream. “NO! NO! NO! NOT ALICE! NO!!!”

Edward was crying his tearless sobs. No. Edward shouldn’t cry.

“Bella I’m so, so, so sorry.” Jacob almost yelled over our screaming sobs.

“How could she!” Edward yelled so loud it could make a person lose their hearing.

“Listen she…she tore her apart. But…” But? Did she not burn the pieces? Did she leave her to sit until someone found her? No. Alice isn’t okay. Jacob wouldn’t worry us like that. Edward wouldn’t be crying he would have turned around to help her. No. Alice got hurt.

“But?” I urged though my voice cracked.

“But Jasper was there and he helped Alice. But of course he wasn’t about to forgive and forget.” Ah. Jasper. He helped Alice. Alice is fine. But hows Jasper? Did he fight Leah? Who won? Is Jasper the one who’s hurt?

Edward continued for Jacob. “Jasper fought Leah. And as Jacob said Leah is fine. Alice is doing alright too. But Jasper, he got himself into a bit of trouble. He fought Leah, Leah almost won…”


“And Leah tore Jasper apart too. She only got one of his arms to the fire though. Jasper is ashamed.”

“Then why were you crying?” I had to know.

“It’s because as soon as I heard Jacob, I listened to Jasper. Mind I didn’t know until now because this all happened while I was driving to pick you up.”

“And what did you hear?”

“He was so ashamed that he thought he didn’t deserve Alice any more. He wants to go to the Volturi like I did. Alice saw this and she’s trying to convince him to stay and that she still loves him.”

“Isn’t it working?” No. I love Jasper too. He can’t end his own life. No.

“Yes. Now. But it wasn’t. He was picturing his death. It hurt me to watch my brother die. And my poor sister was blaming her self for it. She was so full of grief. It was like when Jacob thinks about how you looked when I left. I don’t want any one to ever feel that pain. She did.”

“Oh. Poor, poor Alice. Let’s go Edward. We need to help them.” And we did. We really did need to help them. Now.

“Alright. Good bye Jacob.” And we turned the car around and headed toward the Cullen home.

When we got to the house Alice was sitting next to a one-armed Jasper while the others-Carlisle, Esme, Edward and my self-stood about the room. Rosallie and Emmett were still gone pretending to be in collage. Jasper seemed calm now. Alice was running her fingers through his raged hair and she kissed him on the cheek every now and then. I was also calm now-and Jasper wasn’t even using his gift-because Jasper was alright and he looked like he had already accepted the fact that Alice loved him no mater what.

I sat on the sofa on the other side of Jasper and tried to calm him by saying “Jasper, it’s alright. We all still love you. You could lose your head and we would all still love you. You know that right?”

“Yes, but you have to understand that this is so different. I’ll never cradle Alice’s beautiful head in my arms again. That’s the worst thing that could have possibly happened.”

Alice interrupted him then”no. You could have been killed. You may be one-armed but you’ll always be able to love me. No mater what happens.”

“Wait! Can’t we like steal some one else’s arm for Jasper. A person who passed away. Would it work?” I’d come up with the idea on the way here.

“Carlisle?” Alice seemed to consider what I was saying. Of course she would do any thing to build Jasper’s self-esteem.

“That’s interesting. I don’t know if it would work but it can’t hurt to try.”

“I’m willing, when can we go?” Jasper sounded eager.

“Right now. Well at least I’m going; I’ll steal a corps from the morgue and be back in less than five minutes.”

And Carlisle was gone just like that. Then sure enough he arrived 4 minutes later with a corps in his arms about the size of Jasper.

“So how do we do this?” Alice asked.

“Um, we could try doing it like we do with vampire arms. Alice, will it work?”

Alice shut her eyes and relaxed for some time and then opened her eyes with the biggest of all smiles spreading like wild fire across her face.

“Yes! Oh Jasper! You will be able to hold me again!” And she kissed him right on the lips with a passion meant for them.

The rest of the morning was spent attaching Jasper’s new arm. At 2 o’clock he was ready to go about his life normally again. Edward hadn’t forgotten about the day we had planed.

“Well we don’t have enough time to go to the meadow if you have to eat around five.” Edward contemplated.

“Why don’t we just spend the day taking pictures in your room, around the house, maybe even go for a walk in the woods.”

“That sounds lovely.” Then we walked up the stairs and to his room. He had the camera out the moment we got in the room. He snapped a picture of me and I did the same to him. We spent the rest of the afternoon running around the house taking pictures of every one and every thing. He drove me home at five and-though he stayed-passed on dinner as usual. Then he left only to meet me in my bedroom.

“Hello.” He greeted me as I came in to get my new faded-blue sweats and a white tank top.

“Hey. Will you excuse me?”

“Don’t I always?”

“Well Yes. Hold on.”

And I started the usual nightly routine of taking a shower, washing my face, brushing my teeth and going back to my bedroom to see Edward. But tonight I started thinking about the situation with Jasper while I was in the shower and I started to wonder: Why do I deserve Edward? He’s so perfect and I’m so normal.

I tried to remember the last time I had seen a picture of Edward and I together. It was before he left. I’d tried to block out that part of my life so this wasn’t an easy thing to remember. But this was something I didn’t need to think about now so I stored it in the back of my brain for later and went back to my bedroom.

“Hey. What did I miss?” I asked Edward when I walked though the bedroom door.

“Me. Starring at the wall. How was your shower?”

“Interesting.” Then I went to lie on my bed next to my true love.

“Ah. My favorite part of the day. When I get to lay next to you and watch you sleep.”

“Yes. It is going to be sunny tomorrow?”

“No. So I think we should stay here for the day.”

“That sounds nice enough. But I know you need to go hunting soon. Your eyes are getting really dark.”

“Don’t worry. Jasper, Emmett and I have plans for next weekend-that’s why I got the camera. We’re leaving on Saturday and we won’t be back until Wednesday. You see, it’s Emmett’s birthday and we like to go all out.” He looked worried I would be mad. Why would I be angry with him?

“Oh. Okay. I guess I’ll spend some time with Jake.” What else would I do?

“Actually…” Here it comes. The bad things that will make me mad.”I’d prefer you didn’t go to La Push. Victoria is still out there and I made arrangements for you to stay the time I’m gone with Alice. She gets lonely without Jasper and I want you to keep her company.” That doesn’t make me mad but I know it’s not Alice he’s worried about. He thinks Jacob won’t keep me safe.

“Alright, I can live with that. I’d love to help Alice.” I decided to play along.

“Good. Now get some sleep. It’s getting late.”

And like that I fell into a dreamless sleep with my head rested on my loves chest.