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The Big Hellsing: The Forks Affair.

There is a war being fought, in the gloomiest night and in the darkest shadows. From the forests of Washington to the streets of London, lives and unlives are ended as the war continues. From the Vatican's splendor to Volterra's darkened halls, the machine of war grinds on. There is a war raging between the beautiful, glittering Unstet and the savage, voracious Nosferatu. Between agents of church and the masters of immortal life. As the mightiest of the vampire hunters, the Hellsing Organization intends to be standing when the dust clears and the heads roll. Welcome to the Forks affair.

The following story is a crossover between Twilight and a manga series called Hellsing. While it is not completely nescessary, I would reccomend that you familiarize yourself with Hellsing. Just go onto youtube and look up Hellsing OVA. Beyond that, I do not own Hellsing or Twilight, or any other copywrited work that may appear in this story. This story is purely a non-profit endevor and is not meant to infringe on copyright law. And just go in and enjoy yourselves. I've got the first twenty chapters typed up. After chapter twenty, I'm open to suggestions and requests. Have fun :) Ta Master of teh Boot

2. The Vatican Offensive: Part 1

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Edward was calm on the outside but on the inside he was furious. Fifteen minutes ago he’d been called by Bella with a very urgent message. Apparently some crazy ice queen and her pet nosferatu had smashed up Jasper’s jeep. That in itself didn’t rouse his anger so much as what’d been said to Bella. It seemed that this Integra person had the audacity to threaten Bella’s life, supposedly to locate some stolen money or something equally ludicrous.

And now, the two people who had threatened the life of the person closest to him in the world were sitting in the back seat of his silver Volvo. The tall blond with waste length hair, the one called Integra, was keeping on a poker face in order to hide her embarrassment. It was a futile activity because Edward’s vampire power happened to be mind reading. “Lousy Tart and her crystalline vampire fucktoy, I can only pray that Alucard never finds out about this”. This thought was accompanied by the image of a very tall man dressed in a dog’s breakfast of red Victorian clothing pointing and laughing at Integra.

Edward neither knew nor cared who this Alucard character was, if it wasn’t for Bella’s insistence he’d have kicked in all of Integra’s teeth and kicked her across the state. Then there was the matter of her nosferatu companion, the Seras person with the large breasts. Normally, you had to avoid fighting nosferatu class vampires unless you had any combination of crosses, wooden stakes or blessed silver, but Edward at the moment felt fully confident that he would have been able to take Seras, if only Bella hadn’t insisted otherwise.

At that moment, Edward began to pay a little closer attention to the thoughts of the innocent faced nosferatu. It was rather odd, the kind of thoughts that Edward was picking up from the girl. The thoughts coming off of her clashed markedly with what Carlisle had always told him about nosferatu vampires. He’d always painted them as horrific engines of bloodshed that had no limits to the atrocities they were capable of committing; ranging from but not limited to torture, rape, mutilation and cannibalism. If anything Carlisle said was accurate, they made Edward’s own species of vampire look tame.

At the moment, Seras thoughts were rather stress free given the circumstances. She was worried how she and Integra would explain what happened to their rental car, but mostly she was going on about how she hated the classical music that was playing on Edward’s stereo. “I always liked classical music but this is terrible. How does he stand this shit? Should I ask him to change it to the radio? Yes, I should ask him to change the stereo. But wait, I’m in no position to make demands of him. What if he says no? If I asked twice, would that be too annoying. Maybe I ought to-”.

“I’m willing to change to FM radio is Bella is willing”.

This stunned Seras. “Erm, what”?

“I could hear your thoughts. It’s my power. And I am willing to be accommodating”. Bella nodded in approval and off went Mozart, replaced by the country tunes of Credence Clearwater.

Upon hearing the song, Seras bounced to life, “Oh joy, turn it up, this is my favorite song”. In no time she was bouncing up and down in her seat singing along with the lyrics.

Just got home from Illinois,
Lock the front door, oh, boy!
Got to sit down,
Take a rest on the porch.
Imagination sets in,
Pretty soon I'm singin'.
Doo, doo, doo,
Lookin' out my back door

If happiness was contagious then Integra was immune to it. while Seras bounced in her seat, fun and fancy free, Integra remained dour and every bit the ice queen. She looked over at her vampiric companion and employee and told her, “Seras, shut the fuck up”. Like magic, Seras stopped singing and hung her head in shame; her unhappiness was practically a tangible presence in the air.

“Why do you have to be mean to her”? Integra looked in surprise at the previously silent Bella. Integra was shocked at the boldness of the young klutz. Who probably needed a superhuman boyfriend to avoid accidently killing herself.

In a tone more often used on impetuous politicians, Integra told Bella, “Don’t lecture those that are above your station young lady”.

“What do you mean, above my station? Are you like a duchess or something”?

Now that made Integra bristle, the girl was so ignorant as to know nothing of the European system of nobility. “I am Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing. And I have seen more in the last five years of my life than you’ll ever see in your entire life”.

“Why do they call you sir”?

“Because it commands more respect than Dame Integra you foolish little-”, she didn’t get to finish because a menacing growl gave her the signal to shut up. The growl in question came from Edward, who was baring his teeth in a most threatening manner.

With this, Integra shot Seras a quick glance, like Seras had forgotten something. Seras sat up strait in her seat and pushed aside the remains of the rental car. “Ah, right then”. Then she began to growl and she bared her fangs. Edward leaned closer to Seras and growled louder. Seras eyes turned red and she hissed at Edward.







At that moment, Bella shook Edward from his primal matchup with Seras, “Edward, keep your eyes on the road, please”.

Seras breathed a sigh of relief, “I’m glad that’s over. I nearly lost control”. Integra just groaned on the inside. At least with Alucard, you could count on him to be scary at all times. Seras couldn’t be scary unless her life depended on it.

Fortunately, for Integra and Seras, the ordeal was nearly over, the Seattle airport loomed ahead just as the rain began to pick up again. Before leaving, Edward said to her, “I hope we never meet again”.

Integra looked at Edward as though he were a worm, “Young man, if we never meet again, it will be too soon”.

Edward looked at Integra with a gaze as intense as any, “I’m over a hundred years old”. Then, with vampire speed, he reached around and slammed Integra’s door right down on a corner of her jacket. Not pausing a beat he floored the gas pedal, ripping the coat off of Integra like a magician yanking a tablecloth from a table. Edward just pretended that he didn’t hear Integra cursing and held Bella’s hand.


“Yes Bella”

“That was actually really funny. With the Jacket”. And Edward really had to agree.

15 Minutes Later . . .

Bella was partly touched by Edward’s display of concern. But she had her limits. “Edward, I swear I’m not hurt. All they did was yell a lot. And wreck Jasper’s jeep”.

“I know, but if anything happened to you, I’d don’t even want to think what I would have done”.

Bella turned to face Edward and gave him a semi-serious look, “Edward, your problem is that you need to relax. Take it easy, the danger’s past”. She looked ahead, checking to see that the lineup in the burger joint they were had shortened. “The only thing I regret tonight is not getting a burger earlier. This place makes some good burgers”.

“If you say so Bella, but I’d never be able to tell”.

No sooner had the words left his mouth, did an explosion ring out. It was a nearby explosion. Naturally, it scared away everybody except for a pale skinned girl and a vampire with topaz eyes. Bella and Edward ran out to find Edward’s car a burning wreck.

“Oh my God, Edward, somebody killed your Car”. Indeed, somebody had stabbed Edward’s car with so many bayonets that one of them must have pierced the gas tank and created a spark. Standing before the burning remains of the car were the culprits. To the right there was a German person of indeterminable gender dressed as a priest. To the left was a timid looking Japanese nun who was packing a samurai sword. But the man in the center he, was something else.

The leader of the Vatican rogue’s gallery was a seven foot Scotsman with some rather extreme mental health problems. He was Alexander Anderson, the Vatican’s ultimate weapon against the undead. And thus far, he was the scariest thing that Bella had ever laid eyes on.

People had tried to kill her before. James and his mate Victoria had been evil had both attempted to have Bella pushing up daisies. But this guy was a whole other story. James and Victoria might have been evil, but at least they were sane. This priest guy looked completely insane. It was that grin of his, that pearly white perfect grin that immediately told you that something was wrong with this man. And the fact that the glare off his glasses made his eye look like shiny, evil orbs didn’t hurt either.

Anderson stepped forward and announced, “Destruction cometh; and they shall seek peace, and there shall be none. He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defense; I shall not be moved. AFORE YE EVEN HAVE AE CHANCE TAE TREMBLE, YE’LL PERISH LIKE STRAW”!