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Insomnia

Summary:
Edward never returned in New Moon. Bella is celebrating her 21st brithday & is finally ready to get on with her life. But then strange occurunces throught out the day, make her doubt her own sanity. Could Edward really be back?


Notes:
Ok so this story came to me over a period of Insomnia one night (hence the title). It started off as a oneshot, but then developed into so much more. I became so obsessed with the fic, in the next following weeks, that I even started to dream about it & infact chapter 10, is actually loosely based on a dream of mine. My first ever twilight fanfiction that I ever wrote, hope you like. =D


13. Chapter 13 Bliss

Rating 3.5/5   Word Count 4336   Review this Chapter

I heard Charlie’s footsteps, swiftly going down the hallway. Then within seconds Edward was back in the doorway. He was smiling that crooked smile of his again, which made me go weak at the knees. That’s a look, I’d never grow tired of.

“Hello there.” I said, returning the favour with a wide grin.

“Hey.” He replied. Then he raised his eyebrows at something & shook his head laughing. “Sorry love, but I just couldn’t keep her at bay.”

And with that, a pixie-like vampire, with jet black spiky hair by the name of Alice Cullen, came skipping into my room & within moments was right next to me, arms wrapped round my neck.

“Bella.” she said, her voice as beautiful & harmonious as ever. “You haven’t changed a bit. You could still easily pull off seventeen.”

She let go of my neck, but placed her hands tightly on my shoulders. Her smile, was so wide & bright, that it almost blinded me. It just occurred to me the, that it wasn’t only Edward, who I couldn’t live without. The thought of never seeing this bouncy, bubbly, fun-loving vampire, again, almost reduced me to tears. Words could not explain, how much I had missed her too. Rayen had been a friend, a good friend as well, but Alice, she was so much more to me than that, she was a best friend, the best of friends. No, in fact she was more like a sister.

“Oh Alice. Its been so long. I’ve missed you so much. And you haven’t changed either.”

She & Edward, both laughed at that & I found myself joining in. Only the sound of my boring human laugh, sounded almost jarring comparing to their musical tone.

“So, how do you feel about the news? I told Edward, not to tell you, so your Mother could. Keep it human, you know.”

I slipped a suspicious look, at Edward, who was now, sitting on the opposite side of the bed, to Alice. He known. Of course he had known.

“Well…I…um.” I sighed. Edward & Alice both looked at me sympathetically, which made my cheeks flush scarlet with embarrassment. “Yeah, Yeah. It’s great.”

“Don’t worry about Charlie he’ll come round. I’m certain of it.” She tapped the temple of her forehead, to show me, what she meant. “It’ll be a girl - but of course you already know that. She’ll come 3 weeks early on January 1st. New Years Day isn’t that exciting. She’ll weigh around 7lb 5 ounces. No decision on the name so far. I think they want your help with that.”

She smiled at me warmly. At least I could trust Alice, when she said that Charlie would be fine. It made me feel less guilty about feeling happy for Mom, Phil & the baby. Less, that is. I still didn’t know how long Charlie would be in this minor depression for. I was going to press more on the subject, but then Alice, reached into her pocket for something, which stopped me in my tracks.

It was a clipping from a newspaper, barely the size of a passport picture, from the early 1920s, it was blurry & the paper of crumpled & fading but you could just make out a young girl, with jagged black hair, her face still & emotionless. Although from I could make out, this girl had a sickly distinguished look about her, her chin pointy & sharp, her face pale & thin, her cheek bones easily visible. I straight away recognized her as Alice.

“My name was Mary Alice Brandon.” She began. “From, what I’ve out, I was born around 1901 in Biloxi, Mississippi. I was sent to an asylum, because of my err…premonitions, when I was a teenager. That was why I couldn’t remember. I was you see, always in the dark. I was made to forget. I visited my grave, but that didn’t give me much of a clue. My death date is exactly the same date as the admission to the asylum. From, what I can gather I was around about 19.”

She gave me a crooked smile. It was usual bubbly Alice grin, but it wasn’t angry either. It was as if she was disappointed.

“There was much else after that.” She continued. “There was much about my family, in any of the records or papers. Weddings, deaths, that was about it. I did find out though, that I had a sister. They called her Cynthia. She died quite some time ago, but she has a daughter still alive & she lives in Biloxi too.”

I didn’t exactly know what to say. Should I have congratulated her? I mean she knew her history now, but I had the feeling she wasn’t exactly happy about it.

“Oh, well, I’m glad Alice. At least you know now.” I replied.

I must have said, something right, as Alice’s arms, were tightly gripped around my neck again. The feeling, was cold & uncomfortable, due to me being half strapped to the bed, but I liked it. It wasn’t the same feeling I have with Edward, it was when like one sister, was comforting another. A bond thicker & unbreakable, than that of mere friendship.

“Oh Bella.” She whispered in my ear, although I was pretty certain, that Edward, could hear. “I’ve missed having my clumsy human sister around. Life’s been almost boring.”

“Huh yeah.” I laughed. “No one to force against their own will, to play dress up. Must have been hell.”

Alice pulled a face, but then chuckled at herself. Edwards laughter was practically booming. I had almost, almost that is, forgotten he was there.

“From what I’ve heard she tried to play Makeover Barbie with Rosalie.” He said, trying to control the laughter from out of his voice. “As you can imagine, that didn’t go so well.”

I imagined Rosalie, standing there whilst Alice showered her with clothes & accessories. Yeah I could imagine that didn’t go so well. In fact, I pondered how Alice, was still even alive.

“Of course. There’s plenty of time, for that.” She stared on a tangent. “We’ll have your wardrobe up to scratch before you can say Dolce & Gabbana. And lord, knows you need it. I mean come on Bella, you’ve had that same khaki skirt, since you were a junior. I mean it’s practically an antique. I’ve started too, already, only bits & pieces, naturally. Port Angeles, isn’t exactly what you’d call chic, in the world of fashion. But I did get this gorgeous black, halter neck the other day & it just screamed Bella to me…”

I didn’t listen much after that. I looked over at Edward, who was rolling his eyes at her, but he smiled gently at me. I’d almost forgotten, how much Alice had got excited about her fashion. I cursed myself for bringing up the subject. God knows, what she had bought, for me. They would be no doubt, be overly girly, overly flesh baring, overly designer & not to mention overly expensive.

She was just discussing, something about half price Ugg boots - whatever they were meant to be exactly - when Edward saved me from pushing to the point of insanity.

“Look Alice, Bella hated it before, I’m certain she’s gonna hate it now.” He winked at me. It took me moments to regain my normal oxygen levels. “Besides she looks beautiful as she is.”

My cheeks turned that familiar shade of crimson & I looked away from his eyes, to unsuccessfully hide my embarrassed smile.

“How do you know? You can’t read her mind.” She stuck out her cherry red tongue.

He rolled his eyes, but I saw his eyebrows knit together slightly with anger. It had always bugged him, that he couldn’t read my mind. I guess something’s couldn’t change.

“Alice, anyone sane, would find it torture to be locked in a room with you for hours, with a pile full of the seasons prada, a box of unopened urban decay products & this months vogue.”

I suddenly had flashbacks, of the day of my junior prom. Being primped by Alice, was probably one of my least favourite activities. It was definitely up there somewhere with shopping, dancing & gym.

“Well, the girls hardly sane. She’s in love with a vampire after all.”

She had a point I had to admit, but who ever said sanity was the most important of things. Wasn’t it the Beatles, who proclaimed that ‘All you need is love’. And who could deny, John, Paul, George & Ringo. They were after all bigger than Jesus.

“Fair enough.” Edward laughed. “What’s crazier, is that she took me back.”

Alice smiled widely & looked back & forth at me & Edward.

“Yeah.” She finally said. “That really makes me doubt her sanity. Don’t know how we didn’t realise this before.”

“Ok, Ok.” I said. Nudging both of them, quite forcefully, both I doubt they felt a thing. It in fact hurt me, more, much more. “Enough laughing, at the sanity of the human. It may not be entirely intact, but there’s enough there, to know what I want.”

“And what’s that exactly?” Edward asked, I couldn’t quite fathom the expression, on his face.

“Well…its…err.” I struggled for words. He was right, what did I actually want.

All those years ago, it would have been, for Edward to change me, to be one of them, but something inside me, wanted something else as well, something I couldn’t quite comprehend.

“I want.” I Finally said. I gulped. Things were about to get embarrassing. “More than anything in the world, to be with you forever, Edward. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

He let out a deep hesitation & closed his eyes, for a brief moment. This had always been a touchy subject, I guess things hadn’t changed. But to my surprise, when he finally spoke, he wasn’t angry nor upset.

“I guess you’d rather this option.” He pointed to himself & Alice. “Than any other.”

I knew what he was implying to. He meant I would prefer to live soulless as he would put it, than to die together. But even after all these years, I was still stubborn, on that matter at least.

“Yeah. Yeah. I’d like you to change me. You Edward, not Carlisle or anyone else. You.” I looked into his eyes. Again there was that unfathomable expression that he’d now developed. I thought I’d better make light of the subject. “And sooner rather than later. I mean I’m getting old. Look I’m developing wrinkles already.”

Edward gave a small smile, but seemed to be concentrating, on something far off in the distance. Something had changed him, I don’t know what. I knew he didn’t agree with any of this & you could easily read it off his face & yet he didn’t argue a single word. I wondered what he was thinking.

I was distracted by Alice though.

“Your right & the hairs greying too. Look I think I see crows feet.” She pointed to the side of my eyes. But then scoffed at herself. “Come on, hardly Bella. I’m surprised you even get served at bars. (Obviously she’d seen my little encounter at Sam’s) You even have the same hair style you did at 17.”

I looked down, at my hair, so I did. I hadn’t given it much thought. I’d always had that hair style. It hadn’t really occurred to me, I hadn’t changed so much since I was 17. I guess a few years hadn’t hurt me. And a few more, probably wouldn’t bother me either.

Edward seemed to have come out of his trance, as he had now taken hold of my hand, his hold cold & smooth as marble, stroking it with the tip of his thumb.

“I’ll agree to that.” My eyes flicked to his in disbelief. It had been that easy. I didn’t believe it. “If…” Of course, there was a catch. There was always a catch. “If you marry me first.”

I stared at him, in shock. It wasn’t what I had expected, not in the slightest. Marriage. Marriage. Marriage! Marriage of all things. It didn’t scare me, as much as I thought it would though. I knew what teenage me, would have done. I would have scoffed at it. Marriage so young, was stupid, foolish. But my mind flickered back to that daydream. The one I had, had during Dr Claytons lecture. The one with the Cullen’s house, immensely decorated. The one with Charlie, holding tight to my arm. The one with me dressed in a gorgeous white dress. The one with our wedding. Mine & Edwards wedding.

I must kept on daydreaming, as Edward & Alice, were both looking at me, eyes wide with curiosity.

“Well.” Alice said, picking herself up from off the bed & walking towards the door. “I’ll leave you two, in private for a moment.”

And with that, she was gone, in a blink, out of the door. I was glad we had, some privacy but the thought of what I was now, going to answer, made me feel sick.

Edward was still staring intently into my eyes, waiting for me to answer.

“Ok.” I answered eventually. “I’ll marry you first.”

I’d never seen someone, smile so wide & genuinely. He looked like a toddler at Christmas & I couldn’t hide my own happiness either, but then another thought struck my mind. I was 21 years old & there was still one thing I hadn’t done, the only thing that I wanted no needed to do, before I changed.

“But…”He raised his eyebrows in confusion, he hadn’t expected anymore to the conversation. “I want a honeymoon.”

He breathed a sigh of relief. “Of course we’ll have a honeymoon. You just say where & it’ll be sorted.”

For an inhumanly intelligent 109 year old vampire, Edward could sure be dumb. He obviously didn’t quite fully comprehend my last statement.

I sighed, how was I going to explain it to him, without infuriating him. It would be tough, but I’d give it a go.

“No Edward.” I looked into his eyes, still black, from where he hadn’t hunted. They looked calm & genuine, the thought of ruining his happiness, made me want to hurl. “I mean a honeymoon. A human type of honeymoon.”

He let go of my hand & I saw his hands curl tightly into his fists, the bone easily visible, where his grip so tight.

“Bella…You know…I can’t…We…” I’d never seen him struggle for his words so much. He seemed somewhere in between guilt, sorrow, anger & pain. But then I saw, something change in his eyes, as if he had just remembered something. “Bella, of I…I mean if we, did this, I don’t know how…I could hurt you. I could kill you.”

There was no words to put together to explain, the amount of guilt that was now welling up inside of me, but part of me wouldn’t let go so easily.

“It just…” I began. “I trust you Edward…You could never…You would never.” I swallowed, the water now wallowing in my mouth, with the words. I could barely look at him. “I may not ever be like this again. Who knows how long it will take, until I’m a fraction, of normal again. You’ve said it yourself, new borns are only interested in 1 thing & that’s blood. Please, Edward, there’s nothing I want more. I trust you.”

I waited for his reaction. He sat, hand covering his mouth, his head tilted so I could barely see his face. He was thinking this through anyway, that was a bonus at the very least.

“Bella, you really shouldn’t trust me.” He said, after a while. “Especially after all this. I don’t know how you’ve forgiven me, let alone trust me. But…” He paused & hesitated, I could see the flicker of annoyance in his expression. “I promised, myself that I would do whatever you wanted. And I’ve broken enough promises to you Bella, so I owe you at least this one. I will…We will…try. I haven’t a clue, of the circumstance. And of course we’ll…I’ll have to be careful, very very careful. But If it’s what you want love, I will most certainly try.”

From, what I could see of what of his face, he wasn’t too sure, of the idea, but then I saw the hint of a smile, flicker to his lips.

“At any rate, its one less sin, I won’t have committed.”

I gave him a confused look. I had no idea what he meant. He looked up to see my expression & shook his head.

“Well I’m no saint, am I. I’ve lied a countless amount of times. And murders, usually considered a sin also. And gods, all the other ones, I commit, on a day to day basis. My mere existence is probably one.” I giggled at that. Sin hardly, more like asset. “But at least I’ll wait until marriage, to take my virtue. That’s got to be brownie points in some case.”

Of course, I hadn’t realised. Edward was born in to a much more civilised & proper time. He didn’t even call it, his virginity, he called it his virtue, a much more old fashioned & proper word. The sort of word I’d imagine, to be used much more frequently in a turn of the century novel, nevertheless in the modern 21st century. Sex before marriage, was much of a taboo, then. It did of course happen, only it was looked down upon. It made me internally chuckle, to think, what they would make of a one night stand.

“Well, you’ll definitely get brownie points from me.” I leaned over to peck his lips. He was so much more understanding, towards this subject, than I had predicted. “Unless, of course, you’d rather, get that side of the bargain over sooner.”

I regretted saying, that as soon, as it had left my lips. I was pushing it enough as it was. Never mind asking for it, sooner as well.

He let out a frustrated groan. I had obviously stepped too far off the line.

“Bella. I’ve agreed to change you and to make love to you, but please, I really need time. And I would like to do this the proper way. I want to marry you first, can you understand that?”

He words nor his tone, were particularly harsh, but they said enough on the matter. He was going to do all this for me I had at least needed to give him something in return.

“Yeah. I can. Ok I can promise that.”

He smiled, yet again, that priceless crooked smile of his, that made me turn to practical jelly. It was unfair, how insignificant, his presence, could literally make me feel, when he was around. He was like a powerful Greek god, where I felt like a tiny insect on the ground.

Then another thought, struck me. I had been too obsessed sounding like a hormonal teenager, I hadn’t even questioned how Edward, would feel about this.

“But I mean.” I said. “When we do. Will you…Will it be like the same? Will it be as…um…pleasurable for you, as it is for me. I mean well, I’m human & well you’re…”

He put his finger to my lips, to stop me from talking.

“Silly Bella.” He reached his hand over to my face & started stroking it. “Ok, so I may not be human & completely controlled by my overactive hormones.” His eyes flickered to me & he gave a quick flash of a teethy grin. “But I am a man. And I love you. So of course it will be pleasurable. More than just pleasurable, I believe. I just…”

But this was now my turn, to stop him from talking. I pressed my finger, to his lips, the copycat way, he had done with mine, only without his beautiful vampire finesse.

“Worry. But I love you Edward & you somehow love me. And that’s all that matters. I believe, I truly do, we have nothing to worry about.”

He nodded slowly. Then let his hand off my face. I pulled a face, like a spoilt 5 year old. Although the warmth, was now returning to my cheek, I didn’t like it, it didn’t feel somehow natural.

“There’s something actually I want to do. I’ve said I want to do this properly & I’m going to do just that.”

I wondered for a second, what he was saying but then he was standing, by the side of my bed & fumbling into his jacket pocket for something.

He produced, a tiny velvet box & opened it slightly towards him so only he could see it. Then hesitated slightly.

I was stunned into one position I didn’t know what to do or say.

Then he slowly crept down on to his right knee.

I could hear myself hyperventilating. I wanted to act cool & suave, like the girls, in those old fashioned, movies, but I couldn’t help myself from squirming in the bed covers, with excitement. It was a miracle, how I even stayed conscious.

He turned the box towards me to show me, the most gorgeous ring, I had ever seen. It was old fashioned, the kind that would have gone for thousands in one of those antique programs, it was easily as old as Edward, more than likely older. It had a beautiful oval face & an array of tiny sparkly diamonds. It was almost as gleaming, as Edward in the sun.

He looked up at me from his knee, unnecessarily taking a deep breath & then eventually spoke.

“Isabella Marie Swan.” He spoke in his beautiful harmonious tone. “I promise to love you forever — every single day of forever. Will you marry me?” (A/N: Recognize this from anywhere. I’m sorry but I didn’t have the heart in me, to change the original.)

I wanted to say something beautiful & sexy, like he had, but I was still taking in, his magnificent words.

All I could quite comprehend to say, from my intoxication was a single word.

“Yes.”

And within a flash, that my human eyes could barely adjust too. Edward was at my side, once again. He took the ring, gently from its case & pulled it gently onto the ring finger of my left hand.

“Perfect fit.” He gleamed at me. I stared at it, still unbelieving to this was actually mine. “Of course it’s a little old fashioned, we could get something more modern. Tiffany’s maybe or…”

I interrupted him though.

“It’s perfect.”

I placed my arms around his neck & kissed him softy. He didn’t oblige to kiss me back, to my surprise. After a moment, when I found, that I was lacking of much oxygen, Edward eventually pulled back .

“Before your twenty-second birthday, I think sounds fair. 21 forever doesn’t sound too old does it.” I was still intoxicated by this moment, that I could barely pull together a sentence, so I merely nodded. “I don’t mind how. In Vegas, with Elvis, is fine with me, as long as its what you want.”

I didn’t get to answer that though., as right that seconds, there was a blur of black & white, running into my room & by the time I’d blinked Alice was at my bedside yet again.

“You are not,” She snarled at Edward. “Getting married in Vegas with a god damn Elvis wannabe. Not on my watch. This is gonna be big, its gonna be special. You do after all only have this moment once. Well unless your Emmett & Rosalie, but that’s besides the point. You want something as beautiful, as you can imagine. You want…”

“That’s exactly why we’re having you as our wedding planner Alice.” I replied.

Her grin was all teeth. You would have thought, we’d have given her all the money or more Alice like, Armani handbags in the world.

“ Oh I knew you would, just want to hear it be confirmed in person. Now you haven’t given me much time. Before your 22nd you say. I’ll have to get started straight away.”

And with that, she was gone within a flash again, out of the room.

“There’s ways of getting out of that you know.” Edward said after a while.

“No, no. Let her do it. She right, it has to be special. And I think Alice will make it just that.

“Well if you say so.” But he was grinning also. We were both on a cloud of ecstasy.

I involuntary yawned, tiredness was creeping up on me.

“Sleep now love. Today has all been too much for you.”

And with that he began to hum that oh so familiar lullaby.

There was so many things I had to sort out, still. I would have to solve the mystery of Charlie’s sudden depression. I would have to see the rest of the Cullen’s for the first time, in 3 years, especially Jasper I didn’t know how he would react to me. I would have to help out with Mom & Phil, with baby names. I would somehow have to thank my nurse Brooke, for her involvement, in letting Edward visiting me. I would have to apologise & explain this all to Rayen. And then there was the difficulty with Jacob. The person I loved, so much, too much even, but he wasn’t Edward. And he deserved more than anything else an apology. I also wondered how he would take with the proposal. My guess, would be not so well.

But with the sound of Edward, gently whispering my lullaby into my ear. My woes all seemed to fade away & within moments I had been captured by sleep.

And I dreamt. It was a strange, unusual dream. Which I couldn’t quite figure out. I was holding, in to baby. A beautiful baby. I had never seen anything so beautiful in my life. It Didn’t seem possibly for anything to be more beautiful than Edward. At first I thought it to be Mom & Phil’s baby, but with it’s unusual pale skin, glowing in the sun light & the inhuman exquisiteness of it’s features. I knew that, it was something not quite human.

And somehow, in my dream, as I was holding, the beautiful, yet strange baby. I felt that an emptiness, that I hadn’t even realised had been there, had been filled. I was happy too happy even. I was in sheer bliss. I felt for the first time in my life as if I was whole. And that I couldn’t want anything more.