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Insomnia

Summary:
Edward never returned in New Moon. Bella is celebrating her 21st brithday & is finally ready to get on with her life. But then strange occurunces throught out the day, make her doubt her own sanity. Could Edward really be back?


Notes:
Ok so this story came to me over a period of Insomnia one night (hence the title). It started off as a oneshot, but then developed into so much more. I became so obsessed with the fic, in the next following weeks, that I even started to dream about it & infact chapter 10, is actually loosely based on a dream of mine. My first ever twilight fanfiction that I ever wrote, hope you like. =D


2. Chapter 2

Rating 3.4/5   Word Count 1359   Review this Chapter

…“Is that what you dream about? Becoming a monster”

Not exactly.” I said, frowning at his word choice. Monster, indeed. “Mostly I dream about being with you forever.”

His expression changed, softened and saddened by the subtle ache in my voice.

Bella.” His fingers lightly traced the shape of my lips. “ I will stay with you - isn’t that enough.”

I smiled under his fingertips. “Enough for now.”…

The droning signal of my alarm clock, woke me suddenly . I yawned & stretched in my bed, wishing I could return to my land of slumber & pass by this dreadful date, that of course was not possible, I had class & my friends & responsibility. I couldn’t let one little date ruin my civility.

The sun, now shined through the cracks in the blinds of my bedroom window & the restful sounds of birds had been replaced by the everyday traffic of college students, day light was surely here.

I finally climbed out of my bed, still too tired too dazed to pay full attention to anything. Then it abruptly dawned on , the memory of what could have only been a few hours ago, all came rushing back.

Had it been real? Had I really heard his voice?

Of course, I already knew the answer to that, it had been imagination, just like all the other times. He wasn’t coming back, I knew that, he had promised me that, I had believed that, but so much of a part of me, wished it could be true.

The pressure of my birthday was getting to me, I thought , yes that was it. This unhappy occasion was resurfacing all the sorrow that I had felt & possibly causing hallucinations.

As I thought, of him, his voice, I found my mind resurfacing yet another memory, albeit a more depressing time.

I promise that this will be the last time you’ll see me. I won’t come back. I won’t put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I’d never existed.”

I didn’t want his words to be true, I didn’t want for that to be the last time he saw me, I didn’t want to live my life without ever seeing him again & I especially didn’t want to pretend that he had never existed.

Don’t worry.” He had said. You’re human—your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind.”

He had been wrong though, how weird it was to admit that Edward Cullen, had been wrong , but he had been, time had not healed my wombs in fact if anything they had only made worse.

I hadn’t even noticed I was crying until then, when I felt that the top of my nightdress had been dampened from the falling tears.

I hastily wiped my face. This was stupid, I thought, this was in the past, he was the past & though it pained me to think it, somehow, someway I had to get over him.

Trying to forget, the already damaged beginning to my birthday, I turned on the rarely used radio, that one of my house mates Rayen, had bought me some Christmases a go. It blared out something that sounded like angry shouting with a 100 mile-an-hour beat pace, not my taste, but it distracted me.

I rapidly got ready, throwing an old sweater and jeans, not bothering with makeup or fixing my hair into some fancy do, not like I ever did anyway.

I looked at my clock - 8:30, still another 45 minutes until my first class, joy. I was fine when I was doing something, I became distracted, it was when I was bored & alone, that things became bad, that was when my mind began to wander and wander always to that same person it did.

I decided to check my texts on my cell phone, that Charlie had bought me when I had first started college to keep in touch, despite the fact that I only lived about an 1 hour or so away from him & I came home practically every weekend.

The result of a practically non-existent social life, I had only two.

The first was from Charlie:

Hey Bells, Happy Birthday. I’ve got you a present, you can get it when you come down at the weekend if you want. That is if you are coming down. How are you doing? Have you spoken to your Mom recently. I hope you’ve been treating to your self to a little time off from studying. I worry about you Bells. Say hello to the girls from me. Love Dad XxX

Typically Charlie, he was always so overprotective of me these days. He seemed happy that I had formed an almost friendship with my two housemates Rayen & Cat. He of course presumed it was something more. He knew that I spent most of my time stuck here in my room, studying or watching mind-numbingly boring tv shows to pass the time, though he had always hoped that I would break from my infinite routine & live life like a normal college kid - yeah if only.

The second was from Jacob:

Hey Babe, Happy Bday! Wat up? Wen u nxt comin down 2 La Push? The guys r dieing 2 see u. Mayb we’ll cum kidnap you. Miss u. Love Jake x

Oh, Jacob, Jacob, Jacob. Jacob was a different story all together. He was my best friend, my comforter, maybe even something more than that. He had been there when I had been desperately lonely. He was probably one of the few people these days, who could actually make me smile. And any other day, what I wouldn’t have given for him to rescue me from this never-ending routine that was my life, to see him, his father, the rest of Queleute boys, to have fun, but somewhere deep in side me I knew, I knew today that wouldn’t be enough.

I replied to both of them, in my usual slow typing method, reassuring Charlie not to worry, that I was fine, which was far from the truth & informing Jacob that I had an important exam soon, so kidnapping would not do me much of a favour, again another lie. It was surprising, how easy lying was when you weren’t talking to someone face to face. It gave me comfort because I’m sure they’d both actually believe me.

The radio, had now stopped playing the loud hip-hop tune & was now replaced by the radio presenter introducing a new soft romantic melody. I had never heard the song before in my life but the beautiful soulful song, suddenly made me feel very sad, I was now reminded of exactly why I didn’t listen to music.

I decided, for my own sanity, to turn the god-damn thing off, but instead of, when picking the small radio up, pressing the off button, I threw it with a lunge so that it shattered hard against the wall, breaking into big chunks on my floor - the music had stopped. I was satisfied.

I grabbed my bag and ran out the room. I wasn’t going to grab breakfast with my housemates or take my usual slow paced walk to school, no I decided I was going to get to campus as soon, as possible, I didn’t’ care if I was one of the first there I had to be out of that room.

Unfortunately, I lived on a 4 story building, and as I preferred not to take the slow claustrophobic lift, I would have to take the stairs. I ran down as fast as I could, almost tripping several times on the steps.

I got to the very last staircase, when my uncoordinated body, gave in, I slipped on one of the top steps, landing straight on my back side, books & papers flying out of my bag. Great, I thought, just great.

Then just as I was collecting my scattered report remains, I could have sworn I had heard that beautiful noise again, his laugh and though I was surely convinced that this was my imagination, I listened, stopped in my tracks, amazed in a sort of illusion.

Was it really him?