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Insomnia

Summary:
Edward never returned in New Moon. Bella is celebrating her 21st brithday & is finally ready to get on with her life. But then strange occurunces throught out the day, make her doubt her own sanity. Could Edward really be back?


Notes:
Ok so this story came to me over a period of Insomnia one night (hence the title). It started off as a oneshot, but then developed into so much more. I became so obsessed with the fic, in the next following weeks, that I even started to dream about it & infact chapter 10, is actually loosely based on a dream of mine. My first ever twilight fanfiction that I ever wrote, hope you like. =D


3. Chapter 3 Daydream Disasters

Rating 3/5   Word Count 2686   Review this Chapter

I shook the image of the beautiful bronze haired boy, out of my head. Today, had not had the greatest of starts but it didn’t mean it had to end that way. I collected my the last of my scattered remains & ran swiftly out of the deserted apartment blocks door.

It was then that I suddenly remembered the day of this unfortunate date, not only was it the 13th September a day that I dreaded above the rest, but it was Friday 13th September. An omen, I decided, today was destined to be a miserable failure.

Part of me wanted to run straight back into bed, bury myself in the covers, hide myself from the rest of the world. But the sanity inside, pushed me to move on, to not bow down to my terrible fate, to try not to be what I really was inside - a coward.

My car a tiny red Renault Clio, waited for me in the driveway, but somehow it was unwelcoming, like it really didn’t belong to me. It seemed too small, seemed too red & even though it must have at least been a good eight maybe more years old, it seemed too new. For reasons I couldn’t explain, I found myself missing my big noisy old truck. The past was slowing creeping up, on me.

I shuddered at the very thought. I looked at my watch, just a few minutes past nine, if I walked at a reasonable pace, then I could easily make it to class on time.

So I set off, heading towards the college campus, I’d been so familiar with these past two years. Though it was only a short 10 minutes or so walk, today it seemed a lot longer. I tried to distract myself, counting my footsteps as I walked & every now & then looking at my cell phone, hoping that someone would call or at least text me. Nevertheless, the daydreams came, & suddenly my thoughts, were filled with the events of this morning, of events of the distant past, anything & everything that included…him.

My mind couldn’t quite contemplate it all. I just couldn’t figure it out, had I really heard his voice or was it my imagination playing tricks on me. It was all so confusing. With all this perplexity, I found myself praying, begging silently to myself, for someone to give me some sort of sign, anything. Nothing of course happened. I chuckled at my idiocy. Only Edward could bring out the religious side in me.

Somehow, my pensiveness, had made the trip end much quicker than I had expected. And much to my surprise I was inside my classroom door with minutes to spare.

I took my usually seat next to one of my housemates & I suppose the closest person, I had to a real friend (apart from Jake) Rayen Redford. Sitting next to Rayen at first had made me feel rather uncomfortable, not to mention plain & boring. She too was a Queleute, distinctive by her mahogany coloured skin & long thick raven hair, that flowed down her back. She was of course very pretty, yet in an unusual way. The only person I could ever quite compare her too, quite stupid & unoriginal of me, was Pocahontas from the Disney film. She was very much the opposite of me, she was popular, outgoing, athletic - a cheerleader and just like her doppelganger Pocahontas she could be very eccentric, wild - at times too wild and not to mention mischievous. Rayen often didn’t return from nights out & it was a well known fact that she had dappled in things not exactly legal. Though to me, she had always been kind, supportive, even a little overprotective, like an older sister more than a friend. And the wrong sort of friend, though she maybe, she was still a good friend & for me these days friends were very few & far between.

She gave me one of her big friendly embraces, holding me tight around the waste & kissing both my cheeks, that was at first quite unsettlingly but had become too much of a common & frequent to be anything but slightly awkward now. She gave off a mixed aroma, of expensive perfume & cigarettes, that made my eyes water, so distinctive to her.

“Wassup Babes?” she said finally letting me go of her iron grip & grinning like a Cheshire cat, showing her bizarrely small white teeth. “Didn’t see ya this morning.”

Rayen or anyone else on campus for that matter, had no idea that today, was in fact my birthday & that was the way I intended to keep it. The last thing I needed was attention.

This morning, what was I going to tell her about, this morning. Although, I did sort of see Rayen as a best girlfriend figure, I couldn’t confide in her about this morning, I confide I in anyone, at least anyone human. Most would think more than likely that I was crazy and even Jacob, my closest friend would probably get angry at me for not letting go of the past (especially as the Cullens were his mortal enemies). The only person, who I thought I could divulge any of these secrets too, was a 4”10, psychic, vampire, who I hadn’t seen for the past 3 years, who I would probably never see again.

“Yeah, I didn’t feel too good, took a walk, got some fresh air, you know.”

She nodded slowly, not sure whether to believe me or not. I was never a good liar, but technically I wasn’t exactly lying, I did go for a walk but that wasn’t the full story, she didn’t need to know the full story. She must have finally excepted that I was telling the truth, because she delved into a story of how she’d met some Australian guy called Daamon or something at a bar last night. I vaguely listened to the tale, laughing when Rayen laughed at a particular bit & cringing when she got into too much detail, but my mind was still on other things.

I was glad finally when Dr Clayton, our ancient Irish strict social science professor, walked through the classroom door, ordering the class to silence. I tried my best at first to be intrigued by the lesson, taking notes & even answering a few questions, but when Dr Clayton started a lecture on the effect of alcoholism, my mind began to wonder yet again.

I was dazed, barely keeping up with what Dr Clayton, was saying, starting to flick precariously with the pages of my textbook out of boredom, I flicked too hard at one push of the book and it created a miniscule cut at the side of my index finger. It reminded me of another paper-cut I had received.

I took the little package, rolling my eyes at Edward, while I stuck my finger under the edge of the paper and jerked it under the tape.

Shoot,” I muttered when the paper sliced my finger; I pulled it out to examine the damage. A single drop of blood oozed from the tiny cut.

It all happened very quickly then.

No!” Edward roared.

He threw himself at me, flinging me back across the table. It fell as I did, scattering the cake & the presents, the flowers and the plates. I landed in the mess of shattering crystal.

Jasper slammed into Edward, and the sound was like a clash of boulders in a rock slide…

If only, I had been more careful, if only I hadn’t cut my stupid finger, I thought to myself. Edward had said before he had left that, that occasion had made his decision, that had made him decide that we were unsafe for each other, that made him notice that he couldn’t love me.

My mind, was starting to take over again, as I contemplated on how things could have been.

I imagined, myself, sitting listening to another lecture, not giving as full attention as I could, but this time this time it was different. I wasn’t sitting in a mediocre classroom 1960s classroom, with an average intellect shabby old manas a professor, like I had become used to here at Peninsula College, sharing a desk with Rayen. No, I was sat in a conservative yet luxurious building, the kind you only found at extremely high ranked universities like Princeton, Harvard or Oxford, the man giving the lecture looked like he could have been royalty, with his tailored suit & his clean appearance and replaying Rayen was a striking young man, like silk like bronze hair & perfect angular features, as usual looking like some pagan god of beauty, his hand in mine.

Too intrigued to where my daydreams had taken me, I had barely notice how I had imagined myself. But now I saw her quite clearly, she beautiful, just like the boy next to her, my skin now even paler, my hair now a luxurious brunette spiralled to my waste and my eyes were do longer a dull coloured brown but a beautiful gold. It was hard to imagine this goddess like creature was me, plain old Bella.

The image changed. I was standing in the Cullen’s old house just outside Forks, but all the furniture had been replaced by elegant looking chairs that held a small audience & beautiful decorations hung from the walls & ceiling. Standing at the bottom of a separation, of the chairs was Edward, in a smart black suit, Carlisle, Emmett, Jasper & some unknown man in robes by his side. I looked down at what I was wearing, an elegant long white gown that belonged on a fairy tale princess & next to me stood Alice also in satin purple dress holding a small bouquet of Lilies & holding my arm was Charlie, reading to walk me down the aisle. Was this really my wedding? As a seventeen year old, I had never even entertained the thought, marriage at that age just never happened but now I was a women, twenty-one, I actually found myself wanting one, wanting one, more than anything else. I started to walk, no not walk, it was too graceful to be a walk, it was more like a glide towards my Edward.

“Bella,” he called. “Bella, Bella….

I suddenly awoken, from my fantasy, it wasn’t Edward calling my name but Dr Clayton.

“Yes Dr Cullen…”

I didn’t mean to say it. Not that surname, of all the surnames I could’ve said it just had to be that one. Dr Clayton was looking at me with a confused expression on his face, some of my classmates were laughing, some whispering rapidly to each other, but the faces I couldn’t ignore were those of my Queleute classmates, angry & some even scared by my mishap. Rayen’s was the worst of all, maybe it was because she was so close, but her normally attractive face, was full of rage, her arched eyebrows almost knitted together, her eyes barely a squint and her lips tightened into an almost snarl-like expression.

Rayen, being a queleute knew exactly what the superstitions (which were in fact truthful) of the Cullen’s were, whether she believed them or not I had never known, she had never seemed the type to be superstitious nor had she ever mentioned much about her tribe, but it was now quite evident what she thought.

She even knew about me & Edward to some extent, thanks to when Jacob had decided to take a surprise visit to the campus in my freshman year. Having known Jacob from the reservation, curious like most girls were of their roommates, she had quizzed Jacob, while I had went to the bathroom on one occasion, on my past, my school, my family, my friends and of course my love life. Jacob, hating Edward with every burning passion, didn’t oblige to tell her, but his version of the story just made Edward even more like the monster she had suspected, the monster that he had never been & never would be. The conversation didn’t last long, as I suddenly had enough of eavesdropping on nothing more than a falsity of the Edward I had knew and I went into the room, acting as calm as I could and started a conversation about of all things - shampoo. To my knowledge the discussion never occurred again.

Dr Clayton, finally spoke again, breaking the awkward feeling that now channelled between me & Rayen.

“Nice to know you’re back with us Miss Swan.” He said showing off an malevolent smirk. He walked back to the front of the class. “Now where were we?”

He began the lecture again,. This time I paid full attention, taking more notes than really necessary. The uncomfortable vibe, that was generated off Rayen, never calmed though and for some reason in a way that scared me. At one point she was texting impatiently under the table, sighing obviously at when she made mistakes. Her breathing was slow and angry, until a buzzing came from her pocket, a reply from the receiver of her previous message, more than likely, probably that Daamon man she had talked about.

I was glad when the class was over. My next class was English, a class I thankfully didn’t share with Rayen.

But then just as I had collected all my stuff together and was turning to head out of the door, she grabbed my wrist. Her wicked snarl, had been replaced by her usual beam.

“I thought you’d wanna skip the rest of your classes today.” She said, her grip still tight around my wrist. “Maybe go get a couple of bevvies, seems as its ya big day an all.”

I had no way of telling, but face was evidently horror struck. How did she know it was my birthday. I had never told her, I’d never told anyone. Then when I’d though about it, it could have been anyone, Jacob more than likely, Charlie even, maybe even my Mom.

I couldn’t say no, it would be impolite. I didn’t want to end my friendship with Rayen and even though I hadn’t in reality done anything wrong, it would still be rude not to accept her invitation, which in the normal way of Rayen was her form of apology.

“Okay, I guess, but no bars okay, just a nice restaurant or coffee shop would be even better. And don’t make a fuss, just because its my birthday.”

Her smile seemed to reached for her ears she seemed so happy.

“ Cross my heart and hope to die.” she repeated the popular saying.

She pulled me along taking hold of my hand, almost running. I was worried people would be staring, wondering what the whole commotion was about. Rayen, on the other hand, was skipping with joy, not a care in the world.

She eventually stopped at a bus station, just outside campus. This confused me, why were we waiting here, was she thinking of dragging me up to Seattle or Olympia or somewhere, for a wild night out partying.

“We’re waiting for someone.” Answering my question.

My curiosity got the better of me. Who exactly were we waiting for? I hoped it wasn’t any of her friends from the cheerleading squad, none of them were particularly fond of me, in fact none of them were particularly fond of each other either. Nor did I hope it was any of the guys, she went clubbing with, I was fine when it came to vampires and werewolves, but when it came to clubs and drinking I was petrified.

“Who?”

She gave a twisted simper, as if she knew something that I didn’t.

“Jacob.”

The feeling of almost having a nice normal day vanished. Jacob, was not the person I needed at this moment in time, it would just remind me of the love I was never capable to give to him, because it was already set with someone else. That someone who, had entered my mind on so many occasions this morning and had made me feel almost like the person I had once been.

If my face was horror struck before, it must have been morbid now, as Jacob pulled up in his Volkswagen Rabbit, reading to wish me a Happy Birthday, that would never exist.