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Insomnia

Summary:
Edward never returned in New Moon. Bella is celebrating her 21st brithday & is finally ready to get on with her life. But then strange occurunces throught out the day, make her doubt her own sanity. Could Edward really be back?


Notes:
Ok so this story came to me over a period of Insomnia one night (hence the title). It started off as a oneshot, but then developed into so much more. I became so obsessed with the fic, in the next following weeks, that I even started to dream about it & infact chapter 10, is actually loosely based on a dream of mine. My first ever twilight fanfiction that I ever wrote, hope you like. =D


4. Chapter 4 Monsters & Memories

Rating 3.4/5   Word Count 2341   Review this Chapter

“Told you I’d come kidnap you.” Jacob barked in his usual gleeful tone. His smile even bigger than Rayens at this moment.

He pulled his long scorching hot muscular arms, around my tiny frame, picking me up In a bear-like tight grip, so that my feet were a good few inches off the floor.

It was the first time in years that I had really noticed the real intense heat of his body. It had never actually bothered me before, in fact in previous times, the warmth had soothed me from my worries, especially in those cold winter months. Though today, the heat seemed somehow unbearable, all I wanted was for him to let go of me. Even though the atmosphere around us couldn’t have been more than 10°C or so, combined with Jacobs high temperature, I felt as if I need something cold, something ice cold, below even the point of freezing. I shuddered, as I remembered just what or who rather, had such a temperature.

He put me back down on the floor, loosening his grip on me, yet still didn’t let go, much to my displeasure. He gazed at me with his dark blazing tawny eyes, beaming with a delight that I could not quite fathom. Any other day, this would have made me feel almost weak at the knees, today it just made me feel guilty.

I heard Rayen cooing at us in the background. We both turned to look at her, Jacob smiling with just as much pleasure as she, me feeling ultimately awkward as the odd one out, in this little excited group. She looked, like a small child at a fairground, she could barely keep still with excitement, her eyes wide, dimples showing from her wide grin and was it just me or was she actually jumping. It all took me by surprise, I didn’t even know she liked Jacob that much, never mind be crazily excited over his arrival.

Jacob, finally let go of my shoulders, though took my hand instead. Even though, this action wasn’t nearly as intimate, it still felt just as awkward, even though we had been in this embrace countless times before.

“So.” he said in his smooth calm voice. “I thought we could first go grab something to eat. The Bella (He smirked as he said my name) Italia’s meant to be good or I quite fancy a steak so maybe the Bushwhacker.”

Food was the last thing on my mind at the moment. Though it could prove as a good distraction. The Bushwhacker, is a well known restaurant here in Port Angeles & everybody knew, that if you wanted a good steak, that was where to go. The Bella Italia, though I was sure I had never been there before, I could have sworn I knew that name from somewhere, it seemed so familiar, yet my foggy memory could not quite figure out, how It was.

“I don’t mind.” I barely murmured, still shocked by his sudden appearance.

“Well then,” Rayen interrupted. “Lets just try them both out. Jake do you mind, if we use your car? Mines on the mend again & Bella’s left hers a home.”

She gave him an obvious wink. I was pretty sure now, they both knew something that I didn’t.

His grinned increased even more, with her obvious remark & produced too much of an over-enthusiastic nod for a reply.

The journey, on the way to the restaurants was a quiet one, on my behalf. Jacob, made small conversation talking about how Quil had bought Claire a paint set for her birthday much to her parents annoyance and how Jared & Kim were busy with wedding arrangements. Rayen laughed zealously, even at non-comedic points. This made me feel yet again uncomfortable, as I could only manage a lethargic giggle.

Jacob could tell that my mood was else where & took his right hand from the gear stick & rested it on my leg as a sign of comfort - it didn’t help, it just made matters worse.

We spent a good time, trying to find a parking space. Even when it wasn’t peak season, the front boulevard of Port Angeles was still packed with avid tourists. We eventually found one, though it was a tight squeeze, behind a very expensive looking 4 by 4.

It was a little walk, up to the restaurant called La Bella Italia. Jacob still kept his hand in my, though now he was as pretty much as silent as me, in fact he seemed a little nervous, of all words, his breathing was hard and slow, he seemed fidgety as he walked and his grip was becoming so tight around my fingers, that they were starting to feel a little numb. Rayen spoke enough for all three us anyway, she jabbered on, about all the reviews the little Italian had received and something about her Caesar salad being just the way her ex had made it.

We were only metres away from the restaurant, when I finally looked up to see the restaurant that Rayen had appraised so much. I immediately felt sick. I then knew exactly where I’d heard the name of the restaurant before. All the memories started flooding back to me. That was the night, the night he had confirmed to me what he was, the night he had saved me, the night I would never forget, the night I knew I had fallen in love with him.

My feelings must been have shown on my face, as Rayen & Jacob abruptly became genuinely concerned.

“Are you okay babes ?” Rayen queried. Her eyes deep with apprehension and worry. Jacob squeezed my hand and gave me a sympathetic smile. “Something wrong with the restaurant.”

“No, no not at all,” I lied, not convincingly as much as I would have hoped, as my voice broke half way through. “I..I…I just don’t really fancy Italian that’s all.”

Though you could see that neither of them believed me, they didn’t question me and we all set up for the steak house down the street.

As we walked there, it gave me time to think over what had just happened. I had been trying my hardest to the best part of nearly 3 years to forget, everything and anything about Edward Cullen and now suddenly today, everywhere I looked I was constantly reminded of him. This was just a sign of how much bad luck I actually did possess.

When we got inside the restaurant and to our table, my mood faded ever so slightly, if only to convince Rayen and Jacob.

The afternoon dragged on. Rayen predominantly spoke, speaking about such everyday things as our classes, teachers, parties, old boyfriends, celebrities, fashion and the latest gossip and scandal at Peninsula College. The conversation, was ultimately boring, yet after a while I found myself contributing, it sidetracked me and I actually found myself almost enjoying it.

After a round of steaks for me & Jake with Rayen having a salad as she was a vegetarian & a whole dish of triple berry cobbler to share between the three of us (although Jake had the majority of it), I could safely say that we were all pretty much stuffed.

We all just sat there talking just about things general, ordering more drinks occasionally, I barely noticed the hours go by. When I eventually looked at my watch it was just after 5 o’clock, we had been in there nearly six hours.

I noticed through out the whole occasion, that Jacob barely talked & he seemed again in that vague, nervous mood & when I question him what was wrong, he would simply start a different subject. It was all a little strange for Jake, who since I knew about his secret would tell me anything, without even questioning it, he trusted me.

After a while, Rayen seemed to get a little impatient, with Jacobs mood & even though I think she didn’t know I had noticed kept kicking him under the table. It was all very odd.

Eventually she became so impetuous that jumped up from out of her seat, elbowing Jacob as she did so.

“Right,” she said directly to Jacob more than me. “I’m going to the ladies, I’ll be back in a while. (I got up to accompany her, as was usually the rule for us, but she shoved me back down with an unintended force) No, Bella you stay.”

She winked at Jacob, for the second time that day, flashing yet another one of her huge all teeth smiles.

He stared after her for a while & then hesitated and turned to me.

“You know Bella, I do love you.”

It wasn’t the first time he had said this to me, but he had never said this to me in the tone he did now. Before he it had always been in a brotherly, light-hearted, almost joke like sort of way, now he was determined, thoughtful, grown-up & he said it like he meant it.

“As I love you.” I replied in a more frivolous fashion. I suddenly regretted it, as he now seemed disappointed by my reaction.

“Bella, you are the only girl I have loved. The only girl I will ever love. The only girl who I want to love for the rest of my life.”

I wasn’t sure where the conversation was going. I had never seen this side of Jacob before, it had shocked me & I didn’t know how to react to it. I wanted to say the very same to him, to make him happy, but I knew somewhere deep inside of me, I couldn’t.

His lips met mine for a brief moment, again the warmth of them, felt awkward against me.

This wouldn’t have been the first time he had kissed me, but somehow this had been different to the others and I couldn’t quite figure out how.

“Jake…”I said confused on how to take all this in. Part of me wanted to be angry, but just looking at his innocent face, I just couldn’t. “What…What…What are you doing?”

He got out from his chair at the table and walked to face right in front of me, then bent down on to his right knee. Suddenly it all made sense. My head started to rush, at the abruptness of it all.

“Isabella Swan.” he said his face returning to that familiar ecstatic smile. “Will you marry me?”

The sickness that I had now felt earlier, had now amplified to a feeling that was easily a 100 times worse. My head was spinning, I was sweating from all the pressure & I was having trouble controlling my breathing at a normal pace. It was hard to fathom the right words.

Jacob, I do love you,” His face lit up with my words. “But I can’t marry you, I just can’t , not now Jacob, in fact I don’t think I ever could.”

The way he looked at me, I felt like me I felt like some sort of criminal. I had never seen Jacob cry but now he seemed to be on the very verge of tears. I wanted to comfort him, but I didn’t know how. I had just broken this poor boys heart.

He didn’t speak for several moments & when he did it was a one word question.

“Why?”

My mind flicked to the memory I had experienced earlier. Me at a wedding, me as a bride but it wasn’t Jacob as the groom.

“I..I don’t know.” I managed to say.

His eyes turned wide with anger.

“Why Bella?”

“I told you, I don’t know why.” I was crying now, by the anger in Jacobs voice, the tears flowing down my face like waterfalls.

“God damn it, why Bella, why.” He was shouting now, the rage so evident in his voice.

He picked up his empty glass that had previously held Rayens diet coke and threw across the room so it hit the door to the kitchen. People were now staring, watching, it made the matter even worse.

He glared at me, the loving warmth in his eyes now gone, replaced by bitter hatred & anger.

“Its him, isn’t it?” He bellowed, picking up another glass and throwing it to the floor.

I didn’t answer, scared by what his next reaction would be. I knew exactly who he meant by him and the reminder of it, just made my tears run faster. I looked at Jacob, shaking with rage, I knew that if he got much worse that he would change, change into the wolf & show the world his tribes secret. Yet I didn’t know what to do, I was helpless.

“Answer me Bella. Answer me. The reason you won’t marry me is because of that LEECH!”

I trembled at the word. A waiter was now fearfully staggering towards us, eyeing Jacob timidly, his obvious intention, to stop the commotion.

“Leave Edward out of this.” I managed to say, although it came out as barely a whisper. Saying his name, had made the feeling of all this even worse & my tears were now starting to blind my eyes.

“He’s not coming back Bella. He’s not. He’s forgotten you. He doesn’t care about his precious Bella anymore. But stupid little Isabella Swan still loves him. Well let me tell you something Bella he doesn’t LOVE YOU!”

Jacob, heaved at the table cover, throwing it in the direction of the nervous waiter, smashing all the contents that it had held.

I had, had enough. Jacob, had taken it one step too far. I stood up, to face him, my tears now replaced by a reflection of the same hatred that burned in Jacobs eyes, only my hatred didn’t burn for Edward.

I picked up the nearest thing to me - my chair - and lobbed it with as much strength as I contained towards him. Then stalked towards the door. I vaguely felt something on my shoulder - Rayens hand - but shook it off with great force.

“Bella,” she wept. “He just loves you Bella.”

I turned to face her. She too was crying. This obviously wasn’t the way she had planned, not even close.

He sighed, suddenly feeling guilty for everything that had just happened.

“I know.”

And I turned back to the door & walked out onto the busy street.