Sometimes Goodbye Is A Second Chance
After 5 years of rebuilding his life and putting the pieces back together, everything falls apart once again when she comes storming back into his life. Alice/Jasper - AU and AH
Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me. I am not, will never be and never was Stephenie Meyer. This is an Alice Jasper AU and AH story. And also my first Twilight story.
10. Chapter 10
Rating 5/5 Word Count 4280 Review this Chapter
CHAPTER TEN: A New Arrival
With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
Now everything has changed
I'll show you love
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
- With Arms Wide Open by Creed
That was it. The day that my life was going to change forever has finally arrived. This pregnancy seemed more real suddenly. Not that it wasn’t before, especially when the baby kicked was I painfully aware of its existence, but it was different now, because in a few hours I’d be a mommy. And everything would change.
Peter has checked me in and brought me to my room. There was an extra spare bed in it, but no one occupied it at the moment. And I was grateful for that. Somehow I didn’t want any stranger beside me, when I was going through this. Peter was monitoring my contractions and the doctor came in and checked how dilated I was – apparently not nearly enough yet.
I was laying there in my bed contemplating what I have done. I still couldn’t believe I had said that out loud. I just didn’t know how to explain and I had had enough of his questions. Although I knew they were right on the spot and that he deserved to know the answers, I got upset and I told him the truth. I shouldn’t have; it was stupid. I wondered what he was thinking, what he would have said to me if my water hadn’t broken. I was sure we would finish the conversation one day.
I wanted to run away from all the problems, I wanted to disappear, maybe crawl under a rock and never come back. Life used to be so much easier. No, that was not true, it wasn’t easier; I just had my friends and Jasper. Always hanging out together, always pulling pranks on each other, having fun and enjoying life. And after Jasper and I got together it was like everything fell into its place, we were not two couples and two odd ones out anymore; we were three couples.
We had stayed on the roof the whole night, neither of us being in a rush to be anywhere else. We just laid there in each others arms. For a while we talked and sometimes we were just silent. We didn’t always need words to communicate and that night was no exception. It was like a wall disappeared between us. There was no awkwardness there; it felt so normal like we had been going out for years. It was so peaceful.
When I woke up, the sun was already up and I realized we had fallen asleep on the roof. I noticed Jasper looking down at me and wondered how long he has been up already.
“Good morning beautiful,” he whispered. And before I could answer him, he kissed me.
“And good morning to you too,” I smiled at him. We never discussed what this meant or what would happen next. I just knew we were together now.
“Are you hungry?” he asked me.
“I am. What time is it?” I asked. And I was hungry. I hadn’t eaten much the previous day. And after I came here, I just took the booze and went to the roof.
I realized everyone had probably left already. It was quiet downstairs; I couldn’t hear any music or chatter. How long had we been up there?
“It’s quarter after nine. I don’t think anyone will be downstairs, except for Rose and Emmett, but they’re probably still dead asleep,” he explained while helping me up.
“Which means we can raid their fridge,” I smiled mischievously at him. And then stumbled.
“Oh, careful there darlin’.” He caught me. And while I was in his arms, I suddenly realized I had everything I ever wanted. I was in love. I brushed his hair from his forehead and closed the gap between us. And while the good morning kiss was gentle and sweet, this one was not.
His lips were firm and quite demanding, but I still wanted more. I opened my mouth slightly with an obvious invitation. His tongue entered my mouth and he picked me up in a swift motion, and I wrapped my arms and legs around him. Without breaking the kiss, he gently pressed me against the building wall. With his body against mine, I could feel every inch of him. I deepened the kiss, enjoying the feeling of his tongue on mine. My right hand went from his shoulder to his hair and I hoped he wouldn’t put me down just yet. I wasn’t sure I could stand.
But we soon needed to come up for air and I moaned in dissatisfaction. I wanted more. And I didn’t have just kissing in mind; I wanted to feel and taste him, all of him.
“Hungry for more than breakfast, are we?” he chuckled as he put me down.
“Oh, shut up.” I said playfully and danced downstairs while still holding his hand. My knees were like butter and my heart rate was over the top, but I hoped he didn’t notice.
When we came downstairs, everything was quiet and there was a big mess. Plastic cups and beer bottles were everywhere and so was some of the food and party material. Jasper excused himself and went to the bathroom, while I pranced to the kitchen. I made fresh coffee and took out some sandwiches that had been prepared the previous night by Bella.
I put the food on the table and took out some fresh coffee cups. Meanwhile Jasper returned from the bathroom and sat down on a chair.
“Mhm, food,” he mumbled. I poured the coffee in the mugs and put them on the table. “And coffee. Come here.”
He put me on his lap and I didn’t even try to get up, I was quite comfortable there, with his arms around me. We ate in comfortable silence for a while. I was sipping on my coffee and Jasper nuzzled my neck, when the bedroom door opened and a groggy Emmett came out of it.
“I smell coffee,” he said while rubbing his eyes. We both looked up and he stopped in his tracks when he looked up at the table. Rose ran straight into him.
“Hey, why did you stop?” She looked up annoyed.
Emmett’s stare slowly spread into a grin. “You two finally sealed the deal, huh? Took you long enough.”
Rose smacked him and gave us an apologetic look.
“What? It’s true,” Emmett said to her. She pondered it for a second and agreed with him.
“You’re right. It was high time. Sorry for smacking you,” she apologized and smooched him on the lips.
“I’ve got to call Edward, he just owes me 50 bucks.” Emmett grinned. I rolled my eyes and hid my face in Jasper’s neck. I heard Emmett dialing the phone.
“Hey. Yeah, yeah, sorry.” I couldn’t hear Edward on the other side, but I was sure Em had just woken him up. “ Look, remember the bet we made?” Emmett asked, “Well, you have to pay up.” He laughed and hung up the phone.
Another stab of pain went through me and I started to breathe heavily. I was scared, no, scared was not the right word, I was terrified. Would I be able to do this? Would I know what the baby needed and wanted? I had no idea how to do this. And the baby would be so small and tiny, what if something went wrong? I started to panic, but panicking was not the best idea, so I closed my eyes and tried to get it under control. I couldn’t do it. I heard the door open and was convinced it was probably just Peter checking up on me again. He would probably tell me to calm down. But then I felt a cold hand grabbing mine and I immediately knew it was not Peter but Jasper. I knew that touch and I calmed down in a second. I opened my eyes and saw him smiling at me.
“I called mom and dad, they are on their way,” he said. “They should be here soon.”
“Really? They’re both coming?” I wasn’t sure if they would actually come. I was hoping for Carlisle since he was a doctor, but I didn’t dare hoping for Esme to come, too. But she was, they both were.
Jasper nodded. “Of course they are. Did you really think they wouldn’t?”
“I don’t know.” And I didn’t. I knew they loved me, but I abandoned them. This must be what real family looks like. I was really touched because they were both coming. I didn’t even dare to call my family; I would only get disappointed, because no one would show up. Although it would be so nice to be accepted and loved by them, too.
“Do you know the sex of the baby yet?” Jasper asked me. We never discussed the sex, only the outcome of my check up.
“No. Last time the doctor asked me if I wanted to know, but I declined,” I said and tried to breathe as normally as possible. The pain was back again.
He started rubbing his palms over my hands. “What do you want?” he asked me, trying to keep me occupied talking.
“I don’t know. I guess I don’t really care as long as everything will be ok and it’s going to be healthy, you know,” I explained. And it was true. I just prayed everything would be ok.
He nodded. “Do you have any names chosen yet?”
“I have a couple on my list, but I’m going to wait until I see the baby first and then decide.” There were a couple of names I liked, more for boys than girls. But I would have to see the baby first, to see what would fit.
“What…” he started, when a nurse came in. He leaned back into his chair.
“I just came to check your charts and see how you are,” the nurse explained nicely. She was still very young, probably just started working here.
“Does your husband plan on going with you in the delivery room?” she inquired, looking from me to Jasper.
“Oh,” I started at the same time when Jasper explained, “I’m not her husband. I’m...” he tried to find the right word, “a friend.”
The nurse blushed a little. “Oh, I see. But I still need your answer.”
I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want to be alone in there, I was terrified and I needed him there with me. But I wasn’t sure if he would want to or if he’d just be uncomfortable. “Could you give us a minute?” I asked her politely.
“Of course.” I turned to Jasper immediately after she left the room.
“I’ll go with you,” he said before I could ask him. I could see it in his eyes that he knew I needed him there and that I didn’t want to be alone.
“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, so I’ll understand if you don’t want to.” I had to explain to him that it was ok, whatever he decided.
“Do you want me there with you?” he asked. And added after I nodded, “Then I’ll be there, you don’t have to go through this alone.”
I smiled gratefully. “Thank you, Jasper.”
“I’ll let them know,” he said already standing up. “Do you need anything?”
“Beside some painkillers? Nope, I have everything.” I tried to be brave and not show the pain I felt, but I knew he saw right through me.
I was nervous when I was alone again and tried to persuade myself everything was going to be alright. A couple of minutes later the door opened again. I didn’t even have the time to register what was happening, when I already found myself in Esme’s embrace.
“Look at you, so grown up and ready to be a mom already,” Esme gushed lovingly. “How are you, my dear?” she asked, still holding my hands.
“I’m ok, as well as can be expected,” I smiled, overwhelmed by her love. Carlisle moved forward as well, I hadn’t even noticed him standing there before.
“Hey kiddo,” he said hugging me. “Are you ok? I’ve spoken to the nurses and they told me you’re going to go to delivery room any minute now.”
I just nodded, too emotional to speak. Jasper was standing behind his parents, holding a bag in his hand. Esme saw where my gaze wandered and explained.
“Oh, I brought you some things. I wasn’t sure you had everything you needed, so I packed some extra stuff.” She smiled adoringly at me. It was just like a mother should treat her child, and I was privileged to be treated so by her, especially with our past.
“Esme, I’m sorry…” I started, but she immediately interrupted me and covered my hand she was holding with her other hand.
“Now is not the time for that. We will have this conversation when you’ll be ready.” I didn’t know what to say, she didn’t even need an explanation from me. She’d given me the time to decide myself when I wanted to talk and what I wanted to say. I was sure she wanted to know, but she wasn’t pushing me into an explanation, especially under these circumstances. I just smiled at her, tears threatening to drop.
“Alice,” Carlisle started to speak and offered, “Do you want me to be in there with you? I mean, do you want me to deliver your baby?”
He would do that for me? He had always been like a second father to me and I would love him delivering my baby. I didn’t even consider that possibility before. It was way too much of me to ask him that. But I gave into the temptation anyway.
“I would like that very much,” I grimaced at him, another contraction hitting me full force.
“Then I’ll go change into my scrubs and let them know its time,” he kissed Esme goodbye and turned to Jasper. “Come with me, Jasper.”
I looked anxiously at Jasper, but I knew he had to change too. So I just nodded to him and they both exited the room.
“You’ll be fine,” Esme said to me. “I remember when I was giving birth to Edward. It was painful, yes, but when you get to hold your baby in your arms for the first time, all the pain is forgotten; you’ll see.”
“Thank you, Esme,” I said trying to smile.
“You just remember to breathe and push when they tell you to, ok?” she patted my hand. “I’ll will wait here and arrange the room a bit for you and unpack the things I brought; so you’ll have everything at your hand when you’ll need it.”
“Ok,” I whispered.
“We missed you, Alice,” Esme said, “and we are really happy you’re back.” Tears glittered in her eyes and I was sure mine weren’t any different.
“I really missed you all, too,” I admitted. “And I’m sorry.”
“I am sure you had your reasons, dear. But forget about this now, focus on the baby instead,” Esme said lovingly.
Peter and another nurse came in then, and took me to the delivery room. Carlisle and Jasper were already waiting for me there. Jasper came closer and grabbed my hand, while they prepared me for the delivery.
“You’re doing great, Alice,” he encouraged me. But I knew that the real work hadn’t even started yet. But the pain was getting worse with every second.
The next part was a blur. I could hear Jasper’s encouragements and Carlisle’s instructions and I tried to follow them all as best as I could. But there was so much pain and I felt so hot. I could feel cold compressions on my forehead, and while they helped a little bit, I was still afraid I wasn’t strong enough to get through this. It was so hard and so painful.
Then the doors opened and another person came into the room. I didn’t pay much attention at first, thinking it was probably just another nurse. But when the person sat down next to me, on the opposite side of Jasper and took my other hand, I looked up.
“Now, you can do this, Alice. You are a strong little thing and if I could push two of them out of me, you will be able to push one.” I looked up to see Rosalie smiling down at me. “Now push.”
It was like being in a trance, but I had all the people that mattered most by my side. Jasper on one side, who stood there bravely holding my hand and encouraged me through the whole thing; Rosalie on the other side, supporting and taking care of me like she used to do when we were little; and Carlisle as my doctor, the only doctor I ever really trusted. And so despite all the pain and exhaustion, I felt safe, and so I pushed.
I couldn’t stand seeing Alice in so much pain. It was not a short birth but I was grateful for Rosalie and for the calming presence of Carlisle. I was usually the one who could keep a clear head and think logically, but this time logic was out of the window. I just wanted to take the pain away and get her through this as quickly as possible.
She was exhausted and I was relieved when she made the last push with a final scream. I couldn’t bear see her in so much pain. Thankfully, a couple of seconds later, we could hear a loud cry. The baby was here. Carlisle stood up and showed us the baby, saying, “It’s a baby girl. You have a daughter, Alice.”
He gave the baby to Peter to clean her up and check her vitals. “Is she alright, Carlisle?” Alice asked concerned but smiling.
“Yes, she is doing just fine.” Carlisle smiled.
Peter wrapped her up in a little blanket and brought her to Alice. She carefully took the baby in her arms.
“Hey there little one, how are you doing?” she smiled down at the baby. “You are so beautiful.” She looked up to Rose and me. “Isn’t she adorable?”
I nodded and Rose said, “She’s perfect, Alice.” And then kissed her forehead. I was starring down at the tiny bundle in Alice’s arms. She really was adorable, not so wrinkled as they usually were. She had blue eyes and light hair – there wasn’t much of it there, so I couldn’t determine the color just yet. But seeing her there, laying in Alice’s arms, looking up at her; I could suddenly see that she looked like Alice. The eyes, the nose and the tiny mouth were the same as Alice’s. I smiled.
Dad came back into the room, all cleaned up. They fixed Alice up too and she was ready to go back into her room. Mom was already waiting in her room, looking radiant.
“Oh Alice, congratulations. How are you?” she hugged her when she was back in her bed.
“Thank you, Esme. I’m exhausted but happy. Look at her, isn’t she adorable?” Alice asked, still excited, although I knew it would only be a matter of time before she collapsed in her bed and fell asleep.
“She is beautiful, Alice, and so tiny.” Mom was so proud; you could see it in her eyes. The baby girl meant another grandchild for her, and she would pamper her and spoil her as much as she was doing with Jack and Ella.
Mom and dad chatted a little bit with Alice held the baby, while me and Rose stood in the back.
“I’m glad you came, Rose.” I said to her. She came closer and leaned her head on my shoulder.
“Me too. When mom called and let me know, I just needed to be here, you know? I left the little ones with Emmett and drove off immediately. I just wanted to be here in time.” Rose explained.
“It means a lot to Alice that you came, especially under the circumstances.” I knew Rose and if I would have called her, she wouldn’t hesitate to come. But I wasn’t thinking clearly and calling Rose was the last thing on my mind at that point.
“Well yeah, I am still mad at her, but I had to come and help her get through this,” Rose smiled affectionately at Alice. There would probably be hell to pay later but at the moment Rose was in her mother role and Alice was safe for the time being
“I am going to stay with her tonight, if that’s ok with you. You should go home and get cleaned up,” Rose said to me. “Have you two talked about anything yet? Cleared some things up?”
“Not really. We talked about a couple of things, but I think it is just worse now. And not clear at all.” I sighed. “Stay out of it, Rose.” I gave her a stern look. I didn’t need her to interfere with this and I knew she would try.
“Oh come on, you two haven’t come anywhere on your own,” she spat back. “Its high time someone pushed you a bit.”
“I am serious, Rose, stay out of it.” I said with a tone that allowed no compromise and moved closer to the bed, leaving Rose behind.
Dad turned to me and said, “We’re going to go now. We’ll stay here in town for a couple of days. You should rest now.” He put his arm on mom’s back. Mom kissed Alice again and said goodbye.
“Call us if you need anything, I left you a cell and our phone number in your night stand,” mom said in her loving voice. “See you tomorrow.”
“I’m going to walk you out,” Rose said and then turned to Alice. “I’ll be right back.” Alice just nodded and said goodbye to mom and dad. I moved closer and sat on the chair beside her bed.
Alice smiled at me exhausted, “Do you want to hold her?”
I looked at the baby, unsure of my feelings for her. She was an enigma, and I wasn’t really clear about what I thought of her. She was a part of Alice and she looked like Alice, but there was a part of me, that thought of the guy Alice has been with when I looked at the baby. He had touched her and he had created life with her, although unknowingly. And I wasn’t sure if I could handle it.
“Sure,” I said and got up. I carefully took her in my arms and said back down. “Did you decide on a name yet?” I asked her.
Alice was looking at me dreamily, “I have actually. I wasn’t sure about the name before but when I held her in my arms for the first time, I knew immediately.” She smiled, “I’m going to name her Amber Rose.”
I looked down at the baby in my arms. “Hello, Amber Rose,” I said and she let out an incomprehensible sound. “Its a beautiful name, Alice, I think it suits her.” And it did. I didn’t miss the meaning of her second name, it was clearly in honor of my twin, and Rose would love that; plus it would give her an ego boost. Alice just showed how special Rose had always been to her.
“Thank you, Jasper,” Alice whispered, drowsing off slowly, “thank you for being there with me. I don’t think I could have done it without you.” She sighed and closed her eyes.
“I guess your mommy fell asleep, baby girl,” I said to the little one. And while I was looking down at Amber, something was suddenly clear to me. She was so vulnerable and tiny, and when she grabbed my finger with her small hand, something happened. I felt a connection. And in that moment I made a promise to myself and to her, I would always protect her and take care of her. Others mistakes weren’t hers and I couldn’t blame her for anything. So instead, I would teach her things and show her the world.
“You and I are going to go along well, you’ll see,” I looked up at Alice. “And that is going to have to be ok with your mommy, cause you know what, I am not going anywhere.” And I think Amber agreed.I sat there for a couple of minutes, until Amber fell asleep. I laid her down, stepped closer to Alice, kissed her on the forehead and whispered, “You did good, darlin’,” and went home to change and rest a bit.
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