Sometimes Goodbye Is A Second Chance
After 5 years of rebuilding his life and putting the pieces back together, everything falls apart once again when she comes storming back into his life. Alice/Jasper - AU and AH
Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me. I am not, will never be and never was Stephenie Meyer. This is an Alice Jasper AU and AH story. And also my first Twilight story.
17. Chapter 17
Rating 4.5/5 Word Count 4309 Review this Chapter
CHAPTER 17: Little by Little
There's a little piece of heaven
Right here where you are
The fact that you keep trying
Is what sets you apart.
Help me find the reason
And I'll help you find the way
To get rid of all your pain
Little by little, day by day
Heaven by Theory of a Deadman
The drive home was a silent one, I was lost in thought and Jasper seemed to be doing the same. He had a grim look on his face, but didn’t utter a word. I knew he was angry; he always was when something like this happened.
When we got home, Amber was asleep in the car. The constant motion of the drive always put her in a deep slumber. Instead of taking her inside right away, we first took the groceries and everything else we had bought inside. I put away the groceries, while Jasper took the new clothes and items upstairs. I was almost finished when he came back down.
“I’ll get Amber,” he said and I nodded. I put on some water for tea, while absentmindedly staring out the window. I still couldn’t believe we ran into Cynthia today. I haven’t seen any of them since I left years ago and although I have spoken to Cynthia on the phone, when I wanted to return back home, the confrontation today left me nervous and upset, although excited at the same time.
I was glad Cynthia finally knew why our parents treated me the way they did. I wanted to find out more about her life in the past year, wanted to get to know her again; spend some time with her and help her out.
I had a feeling we were the exact opposites in the eyes of our parents. While they never wanted me and couldn’t even look me in the eyes without remembering their past and knowing how unfair life had been to them; Cynthia was their second chance. If it was successful or not, I wasn’t sure, but I knew they tried much harder with Cynthia and loved her. And from what I had heard today, they were very clingy and overprotective of her as well.
It was funny, they couldn’t have me far away enough and they couldn’t keep Cynthia close enough. I guess I should feel bitter about it, considering they were my biological parents. But I think that I have been thorough enough because of them already, and just didn’t want to think about it anymore.
I heard the door open and turned around, seeing Jasper bringing the still-sleeping Amber inside. I smiled. They were my family now. And they were all I needed. And even though we hadn’t actually discussed the future or anything else beyond our past, I knew this was where I belonged and this was where I wanted to be. With them.
Jasper looked at me while carefully putting Amber in her bassinet. “I have to change. Be right back.”
I was in the middle of pouring the hot tea into the cups when the phone rang. I quickly went to answer it before Amber would wake up.
“Hello,” I said and checked on Amber, who was still sleeping undisturbed.
“Hey,” I heard Rose answer on the other side. “Sorry it took me so long to get back to you, but my idiot husband forgot to tell me you called.”
I chuckled, “It’s ok, no worries.”
“So, how are things over there? How is little Amber Rose?” Rose asked sounding proud as always when she said Amber’s full name. And she always said Amber’s full name.
“Well, um,” I started, not knowing how to continue, or better to say, how to start when Rose interrupted me.
“Yes?” I heard Rose.
“Well, we finally talked about everything.” I said quickly and waited. I heard her muttered something about kicking Emmett’s ass.
“Ok. And?” Rosalie almost burst. “What happened? Did you calling me have something to do with it all?”
“Yes. The thing was that I wanted to talk to you about Jasper, but then Emmett gave me some sound advice. And I read Jasper’s book that evening and confronted him about our past and one thing led to another. And we figured out it was all a big misunderstanding and bad communication on both ends,” I said quietly and closed my eyes.
There was complete silence on the other end, so I continued and explained everything. About me and my doubts, about me not remembering, about Maria and Jasper, about Maria and me. I left nothing out, explained both sides, even though I wasn’t sure Jasper wanted them to know about Maria. But I trusted Rose with everything, so I couldn’t leave anything out. Plus, honesty was my new favorite policy.
“What the hell were you two thinking? And why on earth did no one talk to me? Or anyone else, for that matter? Did you have a competition, which one could pull off something more stupid?” Rose yelled. I knew she wouldn’t probably take it well, but I expected her to be nicer about it, or at the very least show some sympathy.
“I,” I started, but Rose wouldn’t let me speak.
“Do you realize what kind of mess you two created? Do you know how much you put yourself and all the others through – for no good reason?” she kept yelling. But I had enough, I knew well how much I (we) have put each other through. I knew well what we caused and what we lost.
“And to think you two basically communicated just by looking at each other,” Rose humped.
“Yes,” I yelled back, and added in a more calm voice, “I know, Rose. Believe me, if anyone knows, I know. And I am truly sorry.”
She stopped talking then.
“It was the biggest mistake of my life, Rose, and I would do anything to be able to go back and change it; but I can’t. And I will have to live with it every day for the rest of my life.” I explained.
“What happened then? What did you two decide?” I knew when she asked that question that she wouldn’t bother me on the past anymore, at least not today. But she would get her answers and explanations, that was a given.
“We both regretted our decisions and decided to work things through and try again,” I quietly said.
“Well, at least you have come to your senses now,” she muttered. I sighed, and she continued.
“I can’t say that I’m happy about how things went, but I am happy that you are back and thank God you two are working on it. I wouldn’t be able to stand in the same room with you two, all that tension and spark flying through the air.”
“Says the queen of PDA,” I added and we both chuckled.
“Tell me one more thing,” Rose added mischievously, “how are you two working on it?”
I blushed, but responded grinning, “Oh, we’re working on it really hard, I can tell you that.”
“Aha,” Rose chuckled, “well, be sure that Amber gets at least some sleep.”
“Oh, shut up,” I said, when Jasper walked into the kitchen, eyes raised in question. I put my hand over the phone and whispered Rose and he rolled his eyes and went back into the living room. I chuckled.
“Hey, have you been listening to me at all?” Rose said annoyed.
“Huh, what?” I asked.
“Jasper just came into the room, didn’t he?” Rose laughed.
“Mhm, and now I’m watching his exit,” I grinned, while tilting my head to the right.
“Eww, too much information. Listen, do you have any plans for this weekend?” Rose said.
“Not that I know of, why?” I asked.
“Well, I was thinking, since Amber is big enough now, you should all come over for the weekend. We have a big guest room and Amber could finally meet Ella and Jack.” Rose suggested.
“That would be great; I’ll talk to Jasper about it.” I said, excitement already pouring through my veins. I was looking forward to seeing Emmett again and the twins. Plus, a little road trip could be fun.
“Well, be sure you do. And let me know what time you’ll come, so everything will be ready by then.” Rose sighed. “I’ve to run now, Ella is screaming at Jack, and Emmett is nowhere in sight.”
“Sure,” I smiled. “Bye.”
I took both cups of tea and went into the living room. Jasper looked up at me cautiously.
“What have you two been gossiping about?” he asked.
“She invited us all over for the weekend,” I told him, while handing him his cup.
“Invited or ordered,” he asked.
“Invited, I think,” I said and thought back on the conversation. “Or ordered nicely?” I suggested.
“That’s more like it. Do you want to go?” he asked.
“I’d love to. It’s been ages since I’ve seen Em, and I haven’t even met the twins yet.” I said excitedly.
“Then we should go. Beside, there’s no point arguing with Rose,” he said smiling but then sobered up.
“I’ve been thinking, Ali, and I think you should call Cynthia soon. At least to check up on how she is. I don’t think she’s really happy and I hate the thought of her staying there. I know her situation is different than yours, but still.”
“I know, I gave her my phone number, well, yours. And if she doesn’t call in a few days, I will call her. I don’t like her staying there anymore than you do. And I just don’t want her to become like them, you know. She still has a chance now and … I don’t think she’s happy there, Jazz. She’s just there because she needs to be, because they are her parents; but I don’t think she’s happy.” I looked at Jazz.
“I don’t think anyone could be happy there.” He sighed and asked, “And she wants to go to college in Seattle?”
“Yes, she’s been accepted, but didn’t go, cause mom and dad didn’t want her to. They said they needed her at home and so she stayed. She’s loyal to them and loves them, but I think she really wants to go. And she shouldn’t have to sacrifice her life for them.” I elaborated.
“Well, if you can persuade her to go next semester, Edward and Bella could help her there. I mean, they are in Seattle and could help her find a place to stay and look after her a bit,” Jasper suggested.
I hadn’t even thought about Edward and Bella. They could help her and I’d be more relaxed, knowing that she’d be safe.
I scooted over to Jasper, “What would I ever do without you?”
“Well, you’re lucky you’ll never have to find out,” he said and kissed me on the nose. “I’ll talk to Edward.”
I looked at the clock on the wall, it was late afternoon.
“I need to work for a while, catch up on some e-mails and talk to my agent,” Jasper said lazily, not wanting to get up.
“Sure, you do that,” I smiled. “I’ll grab a book and read a bit.”
He got up reluctantly and walked to his computer. I stood up and took a look at his bookshelf, waiting for something to catch my interest. He had a really big book selection, some books I’ve seen before. I found my old time favorite that I haven’t read in years and decided to reread it.
I sat down and started reading, while Jasper tried to hide a smile, when he saw the cover. What, The Time Traveler’s Wife was one of my favorites. Men.
I was so engrossed in the book I didn’t even notice Jasper getting up and fixing us something to eat. Soon after delicious smells started coming from the kitchen and I marked the page and closed the book with resolve. I got up and joined him in the kitchen.
“What are you making?” I asked him.
“Pasta,” he answered.
I remember an incident that happened years ago.
Esme and Carlisle were on vacations and Edward and Bella were on a camping trip. Rose and Emmett already had their own apartment and so we had the house to ourselves. I would never forget the plans I had for that night. I was going to make dinner, or at least try to, and then we were going to watch a favorite movie of mine and maybe go for a midnight stroll.
But of course nothing went as it was supposed to. I didn’t get all the ingredients I needed to make the dish I wanted, so I had to improvise. And since I wasn’t the best cook, I decided to make pasta. The whole process took me longer than planned and even though I wanted to do it on my own, Jasper got bored and decided to help.
I smiled at the memory.
All he did was distract me with his dashing smile and his hands not leaving my body. He tickled me when I added the spices and of course I ended up adding way too much. He kissed me senseless, while I was making the sauce, and of course it burned. He continued trailing a wet path down my throat, when the spaghetti were boiling and of course they overcooked. He put me on the counter, while I was mixing the pasta with the sauce and of course I tipped it over and everything fell on the floor. Jasper didn’t even register it and just continued what he has been doing all along.
My top was soon on the floor and the skirt followed right after. I didn’t want to be at a disadvantage, so I quickly dealt with the buttons on his shirt, so it joined the pile of my clothes on the floor. I gasped, because his tongue found my nipple and was gently playing with it. He sucked on it lightly, adding more pressure with every second. My head was spinning and I couldn’t take it anymore. I pushed him back and hopped down from the counter, and stopped when he backed into the table. I slowly unzipped his pants, making him wait as a punishment for playing with me and teasing me the past couple of hours. After the pants, I removed his boxers too. I grabbed him and started playing, gently moving my hand over him up and down.
His eyes penetrated my soul and the need in them was so immense I couldn’t move. He closed in on me and I felt his lips descend on mine. There was no time for slow languid kisses, he made his way into my mouth immediately and started devouring me. I closed my hands around his neck and pressed closer, then ground my hips against his length. He groaned and spun me around, sitting me gently on the table, then pushing me back to lie down. I remember him saying there was no time to go slow then and that there would be time for that later, he needed me immediately.
He saw how wet and aroused I already was and swiftly moved over me and entered me with a single push. I bent my head back, savoring the feeling of him inside me. He kissed me once more and then started moving, slower at first but faster with every passing second. I lead his head back to mine, so our lips could collide once again. I felt the need building up and I knew I couldn’t lost much longer and when I felt his fingers around my nipples soon after, I exploded. Seeing me come with him inside me always turned Jasper on and he followed my suit. We laid there on the kitchen table in the Cullen residence, panting for our breaths, our limbs entangled, covered in sweat. We would never sit or look at the table unaffected again.
“Order in?” he asked satisfied.
“Order in,” I confirmed laughing.
We took a shower and got distracted again, when the door bell rang. Jasper went down to get our food and we settled in front of the TV, prepared to watch the movie I rented. The pizza was delicious, but after ten minutes the movie stopped playing. After checking the DVD we noticed it was scratched, so we just gave up on watching it. After finishing pizza, I wanted to go on that midnight stroll, but rain surprised us and we stayed in. We laid down in front of the fireplace, drank hot coffee with a generous splash of whiskey and listened to some great music and just talked and fooled around. I learnt that evening, that even though nothing went according to plan; it was my favorite evening of all times. After we finished our coffee and the whiskey did its magic, I was ready for round two.
“Alice.” …….. “Alice.”
“Alice,” I repeated once more. She was completely zoned out, blushing adorably and mumbling something about round two.
This time she looked up at me, “What?” she said confused and flustered.
I couldn’t help but chuckle, “Where did you go? I have been trying to bring you back to Earth for a few minutes now.”
“I …,” she started confused. “I just … I just thought of something that happened a while ago.”
“Aha. Something to do with a round two,” I couldn’t help but tease.
She blushed and although I had a feeling she wanted to say something, turned around and quickly disappeared into the living room. I laughed out loud, took the plates filled with pasta with me and followed her into the living room.
I sat down next to here, and asked her, “Do you want to watch a movie?”
She blushes even a deeper shade of red. I was a bit confused, not knowing at all what this was about.
“Sure,” she answered more calmly and I let it go.
I put on Defiance with Daniel Craig and Liev Schreiber. It was a story about two Jewish brothers in Nazi-occupied Eastern Europe, who escaped into the Belarusian forests and helped protect themselves and many more non-combatants. I wasn’t sure why, but war movies had always fascinated me. There was just something about them. And I knew Alice never minded, although it was not a traditional date movie.
After one third of the movie, Amber woke up. Alice took her out of her bassinet and brought her back to the couch.
“Hey baby girl,” I greeted her, while touching her tiny nose lightly. She gurgled and smiled.
“Can you hold her for a minute? I’m just going to get a toy,” Alice said and handed me Amber. While Alice has been sitting on the couch, I was halfway lying, with my feet on the table. I took Amber and laid her on my stomach, so she could rest her head, while I stroked her back.
Alice came back in a minute; smiled at us when she saw us, sat down, gently kissed Amber and me, and then put the movie back on.
After the movie ended, Alice fed and changed Amber, while I went to take a shower. When I came back downstairs, I found them outside.
“The evenings are so warm already, it’s really nice to sit outside,” Alice looked up at me when I joined her. Amber was sitting in her lap and playing with Alice’s bracelet.
“They are. We should be able to go up to the lake soon, if you want.” I suggested. It was a smaller lake, surrounded by tress and a meadow. Not many knew about the lake, so it was deserted most of the time - which suited us well. We all had made some great memories up there.
Alice nodded, “I’d love to go, I haven’t been there in ages.”
“Remember when Rose called months ago and talked to me about the family picnic?” I asked her.
“Yes,” she answered.
“Well, we do it every year. And this year Rose was planning it up by the lake. First she planned on having it in the beginning of spring, but since you came along, she changed her mind and postponed it a bit.”
“Oh, ok. Well, when will it be?” Alice asked.
“No idea, probably in a couple of weeks. You should ask Rose about it.” She nodded. I was sure she was going to love it.
Amber fussed and Alice changed her position and Amber stopped immediately. She was a natural at this; I had no idea why she worried about being a mom. She was great with Amber, always knowing what she wanted or needed.
“I’m so excited to see Rose and Em and the twins this weekend,” Alice said. We had spent so much time together when we were younger and had some great times. I missed it too sometimes.
“They probably are, too,” I smiled. And I realized that I was looking forward to it as well. I hadn’t seen the twins in a while and I had to admit I missed them.
“I’m going to hop into the shower,” Alice said. “I can still smell the city on me. I just need to change Amber first and put her to bed.”
“Give me Amber, I’ll put her to bed, you go and take the shower,” I said and took Amber from her, she was already half asleep anyway.
“You sure?” she asked. I nodded, “Ok, thanks.”
Alice got up and kissed Amber, “Sleep well, peanut, I’ll check up on you soon.”
I turned off the lights and took Amber upstairs.
“Come on, baby girl, we need to put you to bed,” I said, while she yawned adorably.
I tucked her in, and watched her for a while. She was sleepy but didn’t fall asleep, so I went back downstairs to get my guitar and play her a song.
I sat down next to her cradle and played her the lullaby I liked to perform for her. She listened to it for a while and slowly drifted off to sleep. I finished the song and put the guitar in the corner. I took the baby monitor with me, and quietly exited the room.
I ran into Alice in the hallway. “Did she fall asleep?”
“She’s sleeping peacefully,” I answered.
She nodded and looked a bit confused. I wasn’t sure why.
“What’s wrong,” I asked her.
“Nothing,” she said.
“Are you sure?” I asked again.
She nodded and although I wasn’t convinced, I didn’t want to press her, so I just walked to my room. But when she didn’t move, I turned back. She stood there as if she wasn’t sure where to go.
Of course, I understood immediately. She wasn’t sure whether to go with me to my room or return to her own.
I looked into her eyes to see what she wanted. I didn’t want to pressure her, and she could sleep with me or in her own bed; but I had already missed out on so much and wanted her by my side as much as possible.
She wanted to go into my room, but wasn’t sure if she should. I took her hand and lead her back to my room. Her reaction to my actions was positive, because she had a smile on her face.
“I was thinking,” I said, “we could rearrange the guest room into a baby room. What do you think?” I was treading dangerous water, but I wanted them to stay and I wanted to give this a real try. And it wasn’t just us anymore, Amber was as much part of this as we were; if not more.
She looked up quickly.
“I think that’s a great idea,” she answered, excitement filling her voice. “I have to ask you something.”
“Yes,” I encouraged her.
“It’s about Amber and well, us. I know we’ve just started to try and repair the damage and I know this is a bit rash and soon, but Amber is important and I need to know. “
I didn’t say anything, just waited for her to continue.
“You have been very good to her, to both of us and while I don’t want to pressure you or make you decide or anything …”
I interrupted her. “What is it, Alice?”
“I was just wondering about your role in Amber’s life.” She looked relieved when she said that.
It wasn’t a surprise that she wanted to know that. And I had been thinking about it for a while. And I always came to the same conclusion, Amber and Alice were both the most important part of my life and I wanted them both in it, always. I had no idea how it happened, but I already formed a connection with Amber in the hospital, when she gripped my finger, and from then on, I was powerless. It was quick, but it was forever. She made her way into my heart and I wasn’t prepared to let her go anywhere. It felt right and it felt good.
“I know Amber isn’t my child, but I adore her, Alice,” I started. “And I love her as if she were my own and I don’t want to lose either one of you, I want you both. And I would take care of her and protect her as if she were mine.”
She left out a shaky laugh, “I was hoping you were going to say that, cause we don’t want to go anywhere.”
She jumped in my arms then and kissed me. I grabbed her face and held her still to give me better access.
I was never letting her go. Never again.
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