Sometimes Goodbye Is A Second Chance
After 5 years of rebuilding his life and putting the pieces back together, everything falls apart once again when she comes storming back into his life. Alice/Jasper - AU and AH
Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me. I am not, will never be and never was Stephenie Meyer. This is an Alice Jasper AU and AH story. And also my first Twilight story.
19. Chapter 19
Rating 5/5 Word Count 4936 Review this Chapter
CHAPTER 19: Home is Where You Belong
Sometimes the same is different
B ut mostly it’s the same
T hese mysteries of life, that just ain’t my thing
I f I told you that I knew about the sun and the moon
I’d be untrue
The only thing I know for sure
Is what I wanna do
A nytime, anywhere and I say
I wanna make it, (again and again)
I wanna make it wit chu,
- Make it Wit Chu by Queens of the Stone Age
Edward was to polite to ask me outright what happened. Even if it was obvious that something had transpired between us, since Alice opened the door, wearing only my shirt; Edward didn’t comment on it. I knew he was thinking about it, he was just giving me the opportunity to explain on my own.
We made a deal years ago that we wouldn’t pester each other about our problems and issues. We had this brotherly connection, I could always feel when he was distressed or bothered by something and he could always sense when I was troubled. But we made a pact to let the other one open up first before we storm him with questions. And this time was no different.
So, without wanting to keep him in the dark any longer, I told him everything. And he took it quite well. I could see on his face that he wasn’t pleased how the events transpired all those years ago, but he took it calmly albeit a little disappointed looking. I think everyone was sad and a bit angry Alice didn’t come to any of them, but surprisingly they understood that the matter was between her and me; and so they didn’t say anything. Well, except for Rose, but that was expected. If it wasn’t for the fact that this was somehow a private matter, we would have heard screaming and yelling by now.
Edward patted me on the shoulder and told me he was glad we were working on things. His voice didn’t give him away, but there was a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. I nodded, trying to stay serious, and took Amber out of her bassinet because she wanted some attention, too.
Alice and Bella returned from the kitchen, laughing about something. When she looked me in the eyes, I knew immediately her discussion with Bella had gone well too and I nodded in return. She took a seat next to me, while Bella sat next to Edward.
“We were just discussing the family picnic,” Bella turned to Edward, “Rose planned it up by the lake this year.”
“You’ll have to keep in sight,” I chuckled, “so we won’t have to look for you the whole afternoon again.”
“Jasper,” Bella exclaimed, “I got lost by accident, and Edward found me just fine.”
Alice and I looked at each other and let it be.
“And I would do it again, if I had to,” Edward touched her nose with his.
It was funny how Bella was opposed to any kind of attention and spotlight exposure, yet they always looked at each other dreamily and lovingly. They were by far the most romantic and nauseating couple of all of us.
“Ok, stop it you two,” Alice chimed in. “Bella, I need you to make a list of what we might need for the picnic, to help Rose. She pushed the picnic to the end of the summer, because of Amber, and I think she’ll be calling you soon.”
“I’ll do that,” Bella said excitedly, shifting in her seat.
“Why are you so excited?” I asked Bella. “Don’t you hate parties?”
“No, I don’t hate parties in general,” Bella defended herself, and added quietly, shrugging “I only hate gifts.”
I snorted, while Edward couldn’t help but chuckle. Amber was looking from one person to another with great interest, while chewing on her little hand. I took her hand out of her mouth and gave her a binky instead. She took it willingly.
I looked over at Alice with a question in my eyes and she nodded in response.
“We have a favor to ask of you,” I started and Edward looked at me curiously.
“We ran into Cynthia the other day and found out some interesting things. She planned on studying in Seattle but her parents didn’t let her go, so she stayed at home. But she really wants to go and Alice promised to help her.”
“She isn’t happy at home,” Alice said continuing my train of thought, “and I feel I should help her. She’s my sister. And I know how it is at home and believe me, no one wants to live there.”
Edward and Bella both nodded, Edward determined and Bella more sympathetic, “What do you need us to do?”
They both knew how it was with Alice and how she suffered. We all did, and therefore I was sure they would be willing to help Cynthia out.
“Not much actually,” I said. “We will do the work here, but we need you to maybe help her find a place to stay and look after her a bit.”
“We don’t know how she does on her own, she’s never left home before. I would feel much calmer, if I knew you’d be there to look out for her a bit.” Alice told them with hope in her eyes.
“Sure, we can do that,” Edward said and Bella nodded. “Of course. You just let us know when she’ll be coming and we will pick her up and help her get settled.”
“Thanks,” Alice said. I just nodded.
“Or better yet, give her our number, so we can ask her what she likes and what she would want,” Bella suggested.
“Ok,” I said, thanking her.
We chatted for hours after that, it was just like old times. Both, Edward and Bella played with Amber, although Bella held back and was really careful all the time. She accepted them both quickly and awarded Edward with a big smile after he tickled her.
Alice made some cold snacks and some sandwiches. After a while, she took Amber upstairs and put her to bed. We didn’t want to change her routine, and she soon returned with her baby monitor.
“You’re a natural,” Bella said to Alice. And I smiled, agreeing.
Alice blushed slightly, “I’m just very attuned to her. But how about you two? Any plans for kids?”
“Not yet,” Bella stammered. “We have to move to a house first and we both feel we want to further our careers a little before we have kids.”
“Right,” Alice said, while Edward muttered one to two years to me. I chuckled.
We then talked about jobs, picnics and holidays, made arrangements for Cynthia and just caught up. I must admit that I missed them terribly. I wasn’t a very sociable person before Alice came back and I kept pushing everyone away. But now it felt like everything was returning back to normal and I liked that. And it was painfully obvious that Bella and Edward liked it, too. Edward kept smiling smugly at me, and Bella was delirious that she had her friend back.
It was already in the middle of the night, when they left for the hotel. We decided we were going to call them, when Alice discussed things with Cynthia and then we would see each other at the annual picnic as well.
I closed the door after them, when I heard Amber starting to cry on the baby monitor.
“I got it,” Alice said and ran upstairs.
I took away the glasses and the plates, cleaned the table and turned off the lights. It had been a long day and I was really tired. When I was done in the bathroom, I met Alice in the hallway.
“I am so really for bedtime,” she said exhausted.
I smiled, my mind filling with dirty thoughts, and grabbed Alice.
“Are you now?” I said seductively, and kissed her. I backed her up against the wall and groaned when she put her hands around me and deepened the kiss. I traced my fingers down her neck and felt her shiver beneath my touch. I pulled away and looked her in the eyes.
“Just give me five minutes, I need to go to the bathroom first,” she said and ran off.
I went into the bedroom, where the bed looked so comfortable; I slid under the covers right away. Alice joined me a couple of minutes later. She snuggled close to me to warm up.
“Baby girl back to sleep?” I asked her yawning.
“Yeah, she was hungry, but seemed exhausted from all the excitement; so she was back to sleep in a couple of minutes.” Alice said.
“It was so great to see Edward and Bella again,” Alice gushed. “I’ve missed them so much. And they’re still the same.”
“Yeah, they still act like head over heels teenagers,” I chuckled and Alice joined me.
“Although Bella has stopped fidgeting all the time,” Alice added.
“I think that was Edward’s doing. He has helped her to be more calm and accepting of herself over the years. Although no one was able to do anything about her clumsiness.” I said laughing.
“That’s good, she seems more determined now. Jazz, she took everything really well and just accepted me back,” she said.
“And you were surprised?” I asked Alice.
“A little,” she confessed. “How did Edward take it?”
I continued to explain what we talked about and how he reacted. After my monologue was finished, I noticed Alice was sleeping peacefully, her breathing slow and even. So much for my plans. I kissed her gently and closed my eyes, falling into deep slumber.
The next couple of days flew by in preparation for our trip to see Rose and Emmett. It was only a couple of hours ride away, but Alice’s motto was ‘be prepared for everything’. Which meant a lot of luggage, a lot of unnecessary stuff and a lot of shopping. We supposedly needed gifts for Ella and Jack, something for Rose and Emmett, travel things for Amber, some food and drinks for on the road. My Toyota Cruiser was filling up pretty quickly and I was afraid there won’t be any room left for us.
“Alice, darlin’, don’t you think you have enough?” I asked her slowly, when she brought down another bag.
She just threw me a sharp look. “You never know what we might need.”
“Yeah, but the car is almost full already and you do know that Rose and Emmett have a house full of things, too, you don’t need to pack everything,” I tried again. Unsuccessfully.
“Yeah, but these are our things, we need our own clothes and our own toiletries, and Amber has a bunch of stuff I need to take with us,” Alice continued, not prepared to give in.
“But you do realized we are only going for the weekend, right?” I asked, risking my life.
“Stop bitching and go do something useful, instead of standing here,” Alice said annoyed.
I chuckled and went back inside the house. Amber was awake, so I took her in my arms and went back out on the porch.
“Your mommy has gone crazy, you know,” I said to Amber. She gooed and grabbed my finger. “Yes, really.”
I whisked her up in the air, “Are you excited to meet Ella and Jack?”
“They’ll be your play buddies, you know.” Amber made a giggling sound as if she were excited about it.
“Yes, they will.” I heard some noises from the inside and took Amber back to the living room.
“Now we are going to sit down and watch. You’ll see something interesting.” And we did just that.
“Just wait for it,” I said to Amber.
Two minutes later Alice came back in, carrying two bags in her hands.
I raised an eyebrow at her, but she shrugged it off. “I might have packed too much. Happy?”
“Now, you see what your mommy is doing,” I asked Amber. “She packed too much and now has to take it back. If only she knew how to listen better.”
“I’m going to throw something at you, Jasper Hale Cullen,” she yelled playfully, yet a threat evident in her voice. I chuckled and went to get Amber ready.
Her outfit was on her changing table, so I just dressed her, while talking to her and keeping her entertained. “You know, baby girl, once we went to a beach house on a trip, and your mommy and aunty Rose packed so much; we had to take the your uncle Em’s jeep and my car.”
“Yes, really,” I acted shocked and kept explaining to Amber. “Luckily that was before they taught Bella how to pack, otherwise we would have had to take three cars.”
Amber squealed. “And how did that turn out?” Alice said from the hallway. “If I remember correctly, Bella didn’t pack nearly enough and we had to share.”
I chuckled. “You only had to share, cause neither one of you wore the same thing twice. Which if I remember correctly, Bella had no problem with.”
“We were on vacation, and she didn’t know better.” Alice exclaimed and took Amber from me. “Come here, baby,” she said. “Daddy will teach you all wrong, and you have to learn right from the start.”
“Oh, now you’re implying ….” And I stopped mid-sentence. Did she just call me daddy?
Alice was looking at me smugly, but also curious. She wanted to see how I’d react. But I didn’t know what to say. I knew I told her I wasn’t letting them go and that I loved Amber like my own daughter, but I didn’t expect this; at least not yet. It was a statement, and it was binding. It was one of those defining moments, when your next step is really important, but at the same time you are so taken aback you have no idea what you’re doing. And then suddenly, after the shock wore off, I felt a smile on my face. She saw it and nodded.
“I thought that since we talked about her, we could make this step as well,” Alice suggested.
“Thank you,” I said. I didn’t really know how to tell her how much this meant to me, so I kissed her instead; the previous playful bickering all forgotten. It was a huge step and even though we had decided to take things slow, it sometimes seemed we were rushing through it all; both desperately wanting to get back on track and to continue where we left off. We almost pretended the past didn’t happen, because neither of us was very fond of it; but it did happen. And it had consequences. I knew there were still some issues needing to be resolved or at least worked on. Because the mistakes we did were real and I still felt unsure and I still felt troubled sometimes, and I knew Alice felt the same. Even her dreams proved that. But we needed this, we needed to be normal for a little bit, and this was the path we’ve chosen. Maybe it would bite us in the ass, maybe everything would work out fine. I wasn’t sure, but I knew I wanted this and I knew this was exactly what I’d been missing all those years. So I tried to put as much emotion into the kiss as possible, let her feel what I felt.
But Amber didn’t like the kiss; she wanted the attention for herself, so she grabbed my cheek when I was kissing Alice.
“Impatient, are we?” I chuckled and kissed her little hand.
Alice just smiled contently, gave me a quick peck on the lips and said, “Are we ready to go?”
“Yes, let’s go.”
The drive to Rose and Emmett’s took longer than a couple of hours. First I kind of forgot to pee before we left, so we had to stop soon after. But Jasper didn’t complain, he seemed rather amused and threw Amber a knowing look.
We were back on the road soon, but Amber wouldn’t fall asleep. I guess she felt my excitement too and was anxious. We had to stop soon after for the second time, she needed changing and she was hungry. But Jasper was still patient, and he explained why.
“We don’t need to rush there. Our weekend doesn’t start when we get there; it started when we set off. So, we can take all the breaks you want, I am in no hurry at all.”
After I showed him how thankful I was, probably too publicly, because an older lady threw me a stern look; we were back on the road and Amber fell asleep soon after. We listened to some tunes and just enjoyed the drive. We stopped a while later to eat something in a nice park, stretch our legs a bit and catch some fresh air. It wasn’t really necessary, but it was nice. We took a short walk and then continued with the drive.
A while later we arrived at our destination. The house was beautiful, but I hadn’t expected anything else. Although it looked beautiful and expensive, it also seemed very cozy at the same time.
Jasper took Amber out of the car, while I waited nervously in front of the door. Before we could ring the bell, Rose opened the door.
“You’re late,” she said.
I looked at my watch, and could feel Jasper rolling his eyes. “Half an hour!”
“Late is late,” Rose insisted.
“Would you let us in now, or do we have to stand here all weekend long?” Jasper said and pushed forward.
Rose punched him in the shoulder, but moved aside to let us pass. “Come on in.” Then she hugged me and giggled. “I’m so happy you are here.”
Before I could answer her, I lost the ground under my feet, and was engulfed in a big bear hug.
“Pixie,” Emmett said, “it’s about time you showed your ass up here.”
I giggled and hugged him back. “Nice to see you again, Em.”
He stepped away from me, still holding my hands and gave me a look over. “Looking good, pixie, looking good,” he said approvingly.
“Careful with the compliments, Em, as far as I know your wife’s pretty possessive.” I joked.
“Pff,” I heard Rose from behind me, “you can have him for all I care.”
We all laughed then, and Emmett turned to Jasper.
“Hey man,” he slapped him on the shoulder. “Oh, sorry, almost didn’t see her.” He turned his attention on Amber.
“Hey there, little munchkin, how are you doing?” and took her into his arms.
Amber seemed comfortable immediately and gooed something, and then snuggled closer. “Look Rose, she likes me.” Em gushed proudly.
Rose rolled her eyes again, but smiled affectionately and moved closer to Amber.
“Hey there, Amber Rose, miss me?” she asked her and kissed her cheek. And when Amber awarded her with a smile, she added. “Such an adorable baby.”
“Where are Ella and Jack?” I asked, anxious to meet the toddlers.
“They’re still resting, but should be up soon.” She took Amber from Emmett, who looked offended. “Come on, I’ll show you the house. Let’s the men do the dirty work and bring in the luggage.”
The house was beautiful, very spacious and just like on the outside the inside was neat and expensive; although messy and cozy at the same time. Baby things were everywhere, toys scattered around, but it was a home. A most beautiful home. Amber was looking curiously at the new surroundings.
“It’s so weird that you’ve never been here before,” Rose said, “but that is all changing now.”
I nodded happily, while she showed me the next room. “How are things between you and Jasper?”
“Much better,” I answered honestly. “As you know, we talked about everything that happened and decided to give it another try.”
“And how is that going?” Rose asked while putting Amber in a baby table chair on the counter and offering me some orange juice, which I gladly accepted.
“Well, we just basically jumped into it,” I chuckled.
“Do you want to hear what I think?” Rose asked and continued without pause. “Well, of course you do. With any other couple, I’d say that was a foolish thing to do, rash and not thought through, but with you two, it’s different.”
I sat down behind the counter in the kitchen, listening closely to what Rose was going to say.
“You have had this connection since you first met, and after you grew up, it was obvious to everyone with a brain in their head that you two were meant to be. You are each other’s soul mate, and you’d never be whole apart.”
It wasn’t often you heard something like that from Rosalie, but she had her moments. And I think motherhood brought her protective side even more in the open.
“Thanks, Rose, I hope you’re right.” I smiled.
“Of course I am, I’m always right.” She chuckled, “Seriously, Alice, you make each other happy. One just has to look at you and see it - the love, the connection, the protectiveness, the attraction. It’s all there.”
I smile sheepishly, when noises started coming from upstairs.
“I guess Ella and Jack are done sleeping,” Rosalie said. “Come, let’s take Amber to the guys and you can help me get them.”
We went into the living room, where Jazz and Emmett were already playing a video game.
“Can you get them, babe?” Emmett asked, “I’m just about to whip Jasper’s ass.”
“In your dreams,” Jasper answered.
Rosalie rolled her eyes, while I chuckled. It all seemed so familiar and so welcome.
“Uhuh, but do watch Amber, will you,” Rose ordered and I put Amber, still in the chair, on the table. She was looking curiously at the boys and squealed.
“You just watch, baby girl, and learn how this is done,” Jasper said.
We left them and went upstairs. Rose opened the room, in which two small baby beds were placed, one toddler standing in each bed. Jack was almost jumping up and down, while holding on to the baby bed rail and Ella had been crying, but stopped when we entered the room, wet trails now on her cheeks.
“Hey there, sweethearts,” Rose said gently.
They were both so sweet; Jack had dark curly hair and beautiful blue eyes, while Ella had blond locks and violet eyes. I could see Emmett and Rose so clearly in both of them.
“Hey there,” I greeted them and slowly advanced into the room, trying not to scare them, since they haven’t seen me before and had just woken up.
“Ella, Jack, this is your aunty Alice,” Rose introduced me, “Alice, these are my pride and joy.” Rose smiled.
“Babba,” Jack said, while Ella hid her face behind Rose.
“Can you take Jack?” Rose asked me. “He won’t mind. Ella will need a little bit more time, she’s shy but curious, so don’t worry.”
I nodded and walked towards Jack. “Come here, pumpkin,” I said and he stretched his arms out, eager to leave his bed.
“They are both adorable, Rose,” I told her and she smiled proudly.
“They are the best thing that have happened to me. Them and Emmett.”
“I know what you mean,” I said, realizing I wouldn’t trade Amber and Jazz for anything in the world.
I’ve missed them so much, and it was such a relief to have them all back in my life. After such a long time, I had my life back and I couldn’t be happier.
We went downstairs, Ella throwing curious looks in my direction, while hiding in her mother’s arms.
“Do they talk yet?” I asked Rose. “They’re what, about 15 months now?”
“Yeah, going on 16. They know a few words, like momma and dada. And they have a tendency to say babba to everyone they meet.” Rose chuckled. “They surprise us every day with a new word.”
When we came down, Jasper and Emmett were already done with the game, focusing their attention on Amber, who seemed to enjoy that a lot.
“Look who’s awake,” Rose said when we entered the living room.
“Hey little ones,” Emmett said and I gave him Jack, when he reached out to him. “Did you sleep well?” he asked and gave Ella a peck, too.
“Hey buddies,” Jasper added and held his arms out to Ella. She wasn’t sure if she should go, but decided it was safe after all.
“Ella has a tender spot for Jasper,” Rose explained.
“I’m not surprised,” I said and laughed, “She’s a girl after all.”
We all laughed, expect for Jasper, who rolled his eyes and kissed little Ella.
“I want you to meet someone,” Jasper said and sat down. Emmett joined him with Jack in his arms. “This is Amber, she’s your cousin.”
Ella and Jack both eyed Amber curiously, and Jack said “babba” again.
Amber started crying and kicking with her legs, suddenly deciding she had enough of the baby chair, so I took her in my arms.
“Come here, peanut,” I said. She calmed down and looked round curiously, especially at Ella and Jack. She hadn’t seen other babies before and I was curious to how she’d react. But so far, she just kept looking at them.
I looked at my watch. “I’ll have to feed her,” I said to Rose.
“Come with me,” she answered, “I have to prepare food for Ella and Jack, too.”
I followed her into the kitchen and settled comfortable into a chair.
Rose started making meshed fruit, “It’s been crazy lately,” she started, “since they’ve learned how to walk, we have to keep an eye on them every single moment. They’re so curious and eager.”
“That doesn’t surprise me with parents like you,” I chuckled.
“Just wait and you’ll see,” Rose smiled back. “How is Jasper doing with Amber?”
“He’s been great,” I said emotionally. “He treats her like his own daughter.”
“I never expected anything else from him,” Rose said, “when I saw him holding her in the hospital; he seemed so touched and confused. I know my brother well, and I think he expected different feelings, he even told me, he was unsure how he’d feel about the baby, but I saw it right then and there, his concerns were forgotten in the moment he first held her.”
A tear rolled down my cheek. “I’m sorry,” I apologized, “it’s just, this could have turned out so differently.”
“I still don’t know what you were thinking all these years ago, Alice,” Rose said a little annoyed, “I never expected something like that from you, of all people.”
I knew we weren’t done with the topic yet. “Believe me, Rose; a day doesn’t go by that I don’t regret it.”
“I know how the world can fall apart around you, how you break down,” she continued seriously, “but you lost so much. And it was so unnecessary. Plus, we were all so concerned for you and then later, hurt.”
Rose wasn’t Bella and I knew she won’t let go for a while.
“I’m sorry I hurt you, Rose. And I’m sorry I hurt your family. I was just so broken and didn’t think clearly. Hell, I didn’t think about anyone and anything else but of my pain and loss.”
“I know and don’t worry about it, you are forgiven,” she stopped meshing the food and came to the table, “it’s just all so wrong.” She smiled.
I turned Amber around and laid her head on my shoulder, waiting for her to burp, while I scooted closer to Rosalie and offered her a half hug, which she accepted.
“I’m sorry,” I said once more.
“I know, me too,” she said and pulled back. “Just don’t do anything like that ever again.”
“Ok, enough of the sad talk, this is going to be a fun weekend,” she stated.
Emmett and Jasper chose that moment to enter the kitchen with the toddlers, and after seeing our faces, Emmett wanted to turn and run, while Jasper asked me a silent question if everything was ok.
I smiled and nodded.
“Amma,” said Jack, which probably meant he wanted to eat.
Rose stood up and went to get their plates. Emmett grabbed a beer for Jasper and they both joined us at the table. Jasper sat next to me and put his arms around us; while Emmett helped Rose feed the little ones. Ella kept checking me curiously and carefully, but not hiding anymore.
After they were done, Rose said, “Let me show you our garden, Alice.”
We all stood up, and when Jack grabbed Jasper’s hand to help him, I offered mine to Ella. She was standing there unsure, eying Rose and Emmett. Rose nodded, but Ella wasn’t convinced.
I handed Amber over to Emmett, who took her eagerly and followed Jasper and Jack. I kneeled down before Ella and smiled tenderly at her. I covered my eyes with my hands, playing peek-a-boo, asking where Ella was. Then I quickly removed my hands and said “There she is.” Ella giggled and tried to do the same with her hands. We repeated that two more times and then I stood up and offered her my hand once more. She took it eagerly this time.
Rose smiled at me, and we went to join the rest of the company outside.
1 2 3 4 5
- 16 Mar 09
- 22 Dec 10