Sometimes Goodbye Is A Second Chance
After 5 years of rebuilding his life and putting the pieces back together, everything falls apart once again when she comes storming back into his life. Alice/Jasper - AU and AH
Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me. I am not, will never be and never was Stephenie Meyer. This is an Alice Jasper AU and AH story. And also my first Twilight story.
23. Chapter 23
Rating 5/5 Word Count 4842 Review this Chapter
CHAPTER 23: The Truth
You come so far to just let this go my friend
The same way you did the last time
You’ll break when you fall
Don’t make the same mistakes you did all over
You’ve got to believe in yourself this time
- This Time by 3 Doors Down
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I had just told him the whole story and he still thought or suspected that I had known all along he was the father. This was all too much.
“I cannot believe you are asking me this. I just told you everything I know, and you’re accusing me that I knew all along?” I snapped.
“I’m not accusing you of anything, but I need to know,” he persisted.
“You need to know what? I don’t know, I have no idea, I never knew or suspected anything like that,” I yelled at him. How could he act like this?
“Don’t you think I would have told you if I knew? Would I really keep something so important a secret?” I couldn’t believe this was happening. “This is just as much a surprise to me as it is to you. I don’t even have time to process what you said and what this means, since you’re accusing me of lying and manipulating and God knows what else.”
“I just need to know,” he whispered desperately.
“Come on, you know me better than this. I wouldn’t do something like that. If I had known, I would have told you, damn it.” I defended myself.
“She didn’t lie about anything else, so I just want to make sure.”
Tears stung my eyes. “One last time, I didn’t know. I had no idea the possibility even existed. I had no idea you were ever there. I never ran into James, I never saw him there or you, at least to my knowledge.”
He didn’t say anything, just kept looking past me.
“What do you think, Jasper? Tell me, what you think.” I demanded.
“I don’t know what to think. I don’t remember anything and it pisses me off. This was a complete surprise and I have no idea what to think or what to do. I just don’t know. I want a paternity test.”
“Fine. We’ll do the paternity test, but answer me one question first – do you believe me?” I asked him.
He didn’t answer immediately and I had enough. This day has been getting worse with every second. I needed some space, some fresh air. I walked right passed Jasper and opened the door to get out, but he was suddenly behind me and pushed the door to close. I could feel his breath on my ear, when he whispered, “I believe you.”
“I didn’t know any of this,” I repeated once more.
“I’m sorry, I believe you,” he said once again. I was still turned away from him, so he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer to him, against his chest.
“I’m sorry; I just didn’t know what to think and who to believe. This was all getting to be too much. I am confused and lost and can’t think straight.” He apologized over and over.
“I would never lie about something like this, especially not to you. You have to believe me.” I said, half crying.
“I know and I do.” He kissed my neck. “I’m sorry, don’t go.”
I sighed and pulled my hand away from the handle.
“I haven’t been thinking straight, I’m sorry. If I had, I would never have accused you of something like that, I do know you better. It’s just such a mind bomb; I don’t know what I am doing.”
I turned around and hugged him. He tightened his grip. We stood there for a while, neither moving nor saying anything. For the first time since he dropped the bombshell on me, I had time to think about it and what it actually meant.
Amber Rose could be his daughter, Jasper’s daughter. I couldn’t even grasp the meaning, it was so far fetched. Never in a million years would I have even considered something like that. When I said I slept with someone who looked like Jasper, I never considered it could actually be him. Yes, he looked like him, but then he also looked different. And I was drunk and didn’t know what was real and what was my imagination anyway. I wanted to see Jasper, so I did. I wanted to feel his lips on mine, I wanted to taste him and I wanted to relive moments with him and so I did. I just never imagined it could really be him.
But it seemed like that was suddenly possible. I almost laughed out loud, what a coincidence or better to say, what a twist of fate. The universe played a trick on us. All the worries before I even came here about how Jasper would react to me and my baby, all the worrying afterwards when he let me stay and I knew the baby would come sooner or later. All the troublesome thinking after I realized I still loved him. Never in my wildest dreams would I expect him to accept Amber as his, to love her and take care of her, but he did all that. And now it turned out he might be her father.
I remember when I first tried the word ‘daddy’ on my lips. How good it felt and how happy Jasper was when he heard it. And now it might even be true, in every sense of the word. We were either the most stupid people on the planet or the luckiest. I decided to go with the luckiest. And since I could be a real romantic and have known for a long time that Jasper was the one for me, even though I thought I had lost him forever; I hoped this was all meant to be. We were meant to find our way back to each other, we were meant to become one again; to be a family.
My view on the whole thing suddenly changed. All this time I had been afraid something would happen that would take me away from Jasper, that would destroy our happiness and show me that my fairytale wasn’t meant to last. I didn’t think I deserved any of this, not Jasper or Amber. And after Lauren showed up, I thought that was it; it was all over. I would never be happy again. As my parents always tried to prove to me, I was worthless of love. I didn’t deserve to be happy, because I was nothing. And deep down I always believed them. Even though Jasper always showed me differently, even though Rose, Emmett, Bella and Edward have all accepted me as one of them, even though Carlisle and Esme were like my second parents; I never believed I deserved it and I never believed it would last.
But everything changed in that moment. I suddenly realized it was truly meant to be, I could be happy, I would be happy. I was allowed to have a family and I wasn’t worthless.
A tear slid down my cheek and Jasper strengthened his hold on me. But it was all right, I wasn’t hurt, I was happy. This was an epiphany. For the first time in my life, I really saw my future. And it couldn’t have been more perfect. I had the man I loved by my side, I had a wonderful daughter and great family and friends. I could be happy, no scratch that, I would be happy. I wasn’t afraid that something would happen and take it all away anymore. I was here to stay and my fate was in my hands. I realized that now. It wouldn’t just go away, because I would never let that happen.
Suddenly I felt hope.
And then I laughed. Cause I was happy and I had to let it out. Jasper leaned back and looked at me curiously, but I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face. So, I smiled and in a few seconds, he returned the smile.
“What are you smiling about, darlin’?” he asked.
“I don’t know, it’s just great news. Unbelievable and far-fetched, yes, but so great. I’m just happy,” I told him.
And he nodded, “It is, isn’t it?”
“It’s how it was supposed to be all along. We got it back, Jasper, we got everything back. The mistakes and the troubled past, they suddenly don’t matter anymore, because we got it back.” I kept smiling.
“We do, you’re right. I love you,” he said and kissed me. I enjoyed the touch of his lips on mine, it was heavenly. There was no place I’d rather be. I opened my mouth to grant him better access, because I wanted him to deepen the kiss, and him obliged immediately. I sighed contently. I moved my hand up and started going through his hair, when he grabbed me and leaned me against the door. I moaned softly against his mouth, and he groaned in response. He played with my tongue, languid and slow, although at the same time very intense, and I never wanted him to stop.
The phone rang and interrupted our kiss. Jasper groaned and pushed back, his breathing shallow and quick. The phone ringing also woke Amber up and she started to cry.
“You phone, I Amber,” I suggested to Jasper. He nodded.
“Hey, peanut, come here.” I took her in my arms and rocked her gently. “Don’t cry, that was just the phone, baby. You’re ok, you’re ok.”
“Yes,” Jasper answered the phone.
I let him talk and went upstairs to change Amber. If I knew Jasper, we were going to do the paternity test immediately. And I didn’t mind, this was too important to wait. And too nerve-wrecking.
A while later Jasper came upstairs, too.
“That was James,” he said, “he wanted to apologize.”
“Oh, I see,” I answered, “well, he should.”
“Yeah, he should. Although I might be thankful to him in the end. Cause even though it was really immoral, he actually did us a favor.” Jasper smiled. He had such a beautiful smile.
“True,” I chuckled.
“This is good, right,” Jasper asked me.
“This is very good,” I confirmed. I didn’t want him to have any doubts. “So, have you called Carlisle yet?”
He smiled sheepishly. “Yeah, I told him we were on our way.”
“As I thought. Ok, let’s go.”
--- --- ---
Carlisle was already waiting for us, when we arrived. He didn’t ask any questions, just smiled and embraced each one of us. We didn’t go to the clinic in the city, we rather came to the hospital, where Carlisle worked, because frankly, he could pull some strings and get us the results much quicker. And it was such a private matter.
“Oh, look at you,” he said to Amber. “You are so big already.”
I handed her to him and she was looking at his curiously, grabbing his chin repeatedly. Jasper chuckled and I watched my daughter with her grandfather. I made a mental note to visit Carlisle and Esme soon. They have been to our place a few times, but we’ve never went to them yet. We’d have to change that.
“Alice,” Carlisle turned to me, “would you mind filling these forms out, while I take Amber and Jasper with me to test them?”
“Sure, no problem,” I said. Jasper kissed my forehead and went with Carlisle, who was still holding Amber.
I filled the forms out quickly, since I only needed to fill out the basic information and sign it. The medical part was already filled out, presumably by Carlisle. He was so amazing, always ready to help and listen. The patients loved him and as parents, he and Esme were incomparable, always patient, loving and accepting. I was just hoping Jasper and I could be at least half as good as they were.
I worried a lot about me being a mother. I never had a good example and had to learn everything from scratch. But it was going good so far. I had amazing help from Jasper, who was a natural. And from all the others, too, mostly from Esme and Rose. Emmett just made stupid suggestion more in the direction of how to spoil them properly than how to raise them. I chuckled.
After a few more minutes Jasper came back with Amber in his hands. I quickly stood up and couldn’t wait, so I started walking towards them.
“And,” I asked nervously.
“I don’t know yet, silly.” Jasper laughed. “Dad took our blood and is getting it tested now. Let’s grab some lunch in the meantime, ok,” he suggested. “It should be done by the time we get back.”
“Ok, although I don’t know how I’ll be able to eat.” I admitted to him, I was way too nervous.
I watched Alice as she ate like she hasn’t seen food in days. I exchanged a look with Amber, but didn’t say anything. Yet.
“This is so good,” Alice mumbled. “I haven’t eaten something so delicious in I don’t know how long.”
I chuckled. I took her to this French restaurant dad recommended after I declined his advice to get something to eat. He said she would eat here and I decided to prove his theory. He was right, of course.
“I’m glad you could find your appetite,” I joked, because I couldn’t help myself.
“Very funny,” Alice spat back, which only made me laugh out loud again.
We didn’t talk about the impending results. I knew she was nervous, and honestly, I was too. It shouldn’t really matter that much, cause I loved her and accepted her anyway, but I needed to know. And I was hoping she was mine, most desperately.
I still felt like an idiot, treating Alice the way I did. She was too good for me, she should have slapped me and shook some sense into me, but she just accepted my apology and moved on. She was different today. Something changed, I could see that clearly, and it had something to do with me being Amber’s father. But this was bigger than just that. Not that this wasn’t important, quite the opposite, it was of vital importance. But my revelation and accusations influenced Alice’s bigger picture. I didn’t know in what way, but I was happy it did. Cause she seemed content and happy, and that was the most important thing in the world to me.
After we finished out meal, we headed back to the hospital. I carried Amber in one hand and held Alice’s hand with the other hand. I wanted them both by my side, when dad would tell me the news.
We entered the hospital and I looked around, but couldn’t see dad anywhere. We headed to the reception desk and I asked the lady there if she could call dad.
“Hi,” I greeted here. “I’m here to see Dr. Cullen. Could you please let him now?”
She stared at me for a few seconds, before answering, “Certainly.” I looked over at Alice and shrugged my shoulders, and she just rolled her eyes.
“He said you should come into his office. Do you know where it is or do you want me to show you?” She said hopefully.
“I know, thank you.” I smiled politely and went towards the elevator.
“Look, baby girl, now you are going to take an elevator ride,” I said to Amber.
She just gooed and kept putting her fist into her mouth. Alice remained silent, although it seemed like she wanted to laugh. As we neared the floor of my dad’s office, her smile disappeared and her expression turned serious.
“Nervous?” I asked her.
“A bit.” She added, “This doesn’t change anything you know. If the test is negative, you are still her dad.”
I smiled and nodded, too emotional to say anything.
We exited the elevator and walked towards my dad’s office. I knocked and went inside, without waiting for him to invite us in.
“Hey son, Alice.” He greeted us. “I’m sorry I didn’t wait for you downstairs, but there was an emergency and I couldn’t leave.”
“It’s ok,” Alice said and smiled.
“I couldn’t believe it, when you called me this morning, because the whole story was so bizarre, but I’m glad you did. The test results are back and it turned out you are Amber’s father.” Dad smiled, but both, me and Alice, just kept sitting there, taking the news in.
“Congratulations,” dad repeated and hugged me first, then Alice. “I will give you two a moment.”
After dad left, I slowly turned to Alice and saw, she was smiling. Amber was my daughter; she was my flesh and blood. I couldn’t believe it. It all seemed so surreal.
“She’s mine,” I said out loud.
Alice nodded, “Yours.”
“Mine,” I repeated and hugged Alice. This was such a wonderful day. I couldn’t believe my luck. Somehow, it all turned out the way it was supposed to be all along.
Alice kept smiling, although tears started to appear in her eyes as well. But I could see those were happy tears. She bent down to take Amber in her arms and handed here to me.
“Go to daddy,” she said in an emotional voice.
‘Daddy’ sounded completely different that it did before. I took Amber from Alice and kissed her on the forehead.
“Hey, baby girl. I’m your daddy,” I said and noticed my eyes weren’t clear anymore either. “I’m your daddy.”
She snuggled close to me and I couldn’t have been happier. Tears were flowing freely down Alice’s cheek and I pulled her closer. I hugged both of my girls and kept standing there, with my family.
--- --- ---
The drive home was mostly quiet; we were both thinking and contemplating. I couldn’t wipe the stupid grin of my face and when I looked over to Alice, I noticed that neither could she. And that made my grin even bigger.
I looked into the review mirror and saw that Amber was curiously looking out of the window. She usually fell asleep in the car immediately, but I guess our nervousness and excitement reached her too. She was such a special baby. Parents usually say that about their kids, but I was convinced she really was.
It wasn’t that I loved her more now, cause I didn’t; I’ve loved her impossibly before, but it was different nevertheless. I didn’t have to look at her anymore and wonder how it would be if she were mine, cause now she was mine. Really mine. No one would ever come and steal them away, there never was another guy - they are and have always been mine. And I couldn’t be happier. It was like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders, one I didn’t even know was there.
“We should celebrate,” I said to Alice.
She looked over, excitement evident in her eyes. “Let’s. What did you have in mind?”
“I don’t know, dinner and a little play time with our daughter,” I suggested.
“Sounds perfect,” Alice grinned.
We arrived at home a few minutes later and while Alice fed and changed Amber, I put on some music and started making preparations for dinner. Since we ate in town, I wanted to do something light.
“Oh, I’m starving,” Alice said, while bursting into the kitchen with Amber on her hip. “What are you making?”
I changed my mind about something light and decided to make lasagna instead. We had all the ingredients we needed and Alice loved it. It wasn’t something fancy, but who cared.
“Lasagna,” I answered and smiled.
“Oh, yummy,” Alice chirped. She put Amber into the baby desk chair, “Can I help you with something?”
“You can make the salad, if you want,” I suggested.
“Ok,” she said and went to work. In the meantime, I prepared the meat, cheese and vegetables. Alice started singing and dancing along with a song, and I couldn’t help myself but watch her. She was amazing. I wiped my hands into a cloth and turned her around, took her in my arms and swayed her.
“Oh, Jazz, my hands are all dirty,” she laughed.
That didn’t make me stop; it was not as if she actually wanted me to. We kept dancing around the kitchen, laughing. Amber kept observing us, and every time I swayed Alice, she laughed.
“You like that, don’t you,” I asked her and went to the table.
“Well, I guess I’ll have to dance with you too,” I took Amber in my hands and twirled her around the kitchen. She giggled and laughed, obviously loving it. Alice was watching us with a big smile on her face and tears in her eyes.
I stopped, “Don’t cry now,” I said to her.
“Oh hush, I’m not crying. I’m just happy. I never thought this would happen,” she said.
“What? Me dancing with my daughter,” I joked.
”No, silly. Well kind of, yes.”
“Well, you’ll just have to get used to it, it seems, cause she likes it.”
“I’ve got no problem with that.” She leaned in and kissed me. I twirled Amber around a few more times and then put her back in her table chair and went back to work.
I finished the lasagna and while it cooked, we made our way into the living room and played with Amber. She was a little tired already, and we knew we’d have to put her to bed soon, but we both needed a few more minutes with her. It was a special day.
After dinner we just laid on the couch lazily, and watched some TV. It was a long and exhausting day.
“I can’t move,” Alice complained. “I’m too exhausted.”
“You don’t have to move.” I chuckled.
“But I need to shower before we go to bed. But you fed me your delicious lasagna and now I can’t move.” She yawned.
I turned off the TV, “Well, I can always carry you.”
I slowly moved from under her and got up, took her in my arms and made my way upstairs.
“What are you doing?” Alice laughed.
“I’m taking you to the shower,” I answered smiling.
“Are you taking a shower, too,” Alice asked wickedly.
“Well, I am dirty,” I said and noticed a shiver went through her.
I opened the door to the bathroom and set her on the washing machine, while I closed the door. She slowly began unbuttoning her shirt and I quickly pulled mine over my head. I was raised that a gentleman always has to help the lady with everything, so I decided to help her with getting undressed. I started unbuttoning her jeans and pulled them off in one motion. Alice giggled and pulled me to her and kissed me.
“I think you’re overdressed,” she teased.
“We’ll have to do something about that, then,” I replied chuckling.
Soon, we were both naked, our clothes forgotten in a pile on the floor. I took her back in my arms and started nuzzling her neck.
“You’re distracting me,” she giggled and opened the shower and tried to turn on the water.
“Aha,” I said and continued planting wet kisses down her shoulder.
I stepped inside and Alice finally managed to turn on the water. The hot jet felt wonderful on my skin. I didn’t want to rush things, so I set her down for a minute. She threw me a disappointed look and I had to tease her, “Impatient, aren’t we.”
I took a bottle of shampoo, “I thought you said you needed to shower.”
“Well,” Alice started saying, when I gently started washing her hair, rubbing the shampoo in. She let out a soft sigh and I continued to wash her body. I was completely hard already but didn’t want this to end too soon, so I carefully avoided certain body parts and focused on her back and arms and her belly. She started breathing heavily and turned around, whispering seductively it was her turn. I let her wash my body, but wouldn’t remove my hands from her hips. And every now and then I would move them lower and caress her ass. Her hands felt so good on me, I never wanted this to end.
She closed the gap between us and pulled my head down, engaging me in an intimate kiss. She moaned softly against my mouth and I grabbed her and lifted her against the shower wall, my lips never leaving hers. She has one hand on my neck and started roaming down my body with the other one. Before I could move, she grabbed my cock and started stroking it confidently, and all I could do was swallow hard. She leaned back against the wall and removed her hand, now covered in pre-cum and brought it up to her lips and slowly licked it.
“Fuck,” I groaned, lifted her and buried myself in her.
She leaned back and closed her eyes. She was so exposed; I started ravaging her not only with my cock but with my eyes, too. I leaned my head down, capturing a nipple between my teeth. I grazed it softly and then sucked on it. She groaned louder this time, opening her eyes once again.
“Fuck me, Jasper, fuck me harder.” I slipped my tongue back into her mouth, but not before answering her. “Whatever you wish, darlin’.”
My movements got faster and more frantic and was immediately rewarded with her raw gasps. Her hands got tangled in my hair and she buried her head in the crook of my neck, while I was pounding her. I cupped her ass and started massaging it. She bit me in the neck, telling me she was close and couldn’t hold on much longer.
But I didn’t want her to come just yet, so I pulled out of her and put her down. She looked at me quizzically, but didn’t say anything. She suddenly kneeled in front of me and took me in her mouth. I had to steady myself against the wall, because after sucking at it for a little bit, she took me completely into her mouth. My breath became ragged and I was afraid I was going to come right then and there. I wanted to pull away, but she wouldn’t let me. She knew I was close and therefore slowly stood up and turned around and leaned on the wet shower tiles.
I grabbed her ass and pulled it out a bit and then filled her from behind. She moaned softly and bit her hand. I started fucking her faster again, my hands roaming her body. I cupped one breast in my left hand, massaging in and teasing her nipple, while my other hand reached her clit and started teasing it.
“Jasper,” Alice gasper and when I heard her say my name like that, there was no way back.
My fingers started rubbing her clit more forcefully, while I was fucking her senseless.
“I want you to come for me,” I said to Alice panting.
“Yes,” she answered breathlessly. I could feel her tense around my cock, her muscles gripping me, while she shook in ecstasy. I was so close and wanted to pull out, but she wouldn’t let me. She started moving her ass in slow circles, with my cock buried inside her. I couldn’t hold of for much longer. I pounded her harder and faster and then pulled out and came on her ass.
I closed my eyes and grabbed the shower wall to steady myself. While the water washed away our juices, Alice slowly turned around and kissed me. I opened my mouth and gently massaged her tongue with mine. She sighed and slowly pulled away.
She was so beautiful, completely wet and hot. Her skin was glistering and she has red marks on some places. Her lips were swollen and hey eyes bright and happy. She smiled at me with complete devotion and I never wanted that smile to leave her face. I was so happy, for the first time after so many years, I was back to being myself, I was happy once again. I had a reason to live again, a wonderful family that I never wanted to lose again. Without Alice, I was nothing; she was my reason to live, she and little Amber. They were my greatest treasure, and I loved them.
“I love you,” I said, still out of breath.
She kept smiling, her smile reaching her eyes. “I love you, too.”
“Marry me,” I said.
Her smile disappeared and I was afraid I made a mistake. I didn’t think this through. We were in the shower, for God’s sake and she deserved a better proposal. Candles, music, dinner maybe, not just a question after fuck in the shower.
“What,” she whispered.
And I wanted to explain how beautiful she was and how much I loved her, I wanted to tell her that she deserved only the best and I wanted to apologize for doing it this way. I almost took it back, when I looked at her eyes again. I didn’t notice tears glistering in them before, since she was wet all over. But they were there. She wasn’t crying, but her eyes were definitely moist, so I just repeated my earlier question.
“Marry me,” I said simply. “I love you and I want to marry you.”
Her teeth grazed her lower lip and she nodded, “Yes.” She chuckled and said it again, “Oh God, yes.”
I pulled her closer and kissed her once more, less gently this time. She readily returned the kiss and we kept standing there in the shower, embracing, while hot water poured down on us.
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