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It's Kind OF A Funny Story

Edward: a socially inept boy probably destined to become a hermet, even if he is really cute. Bella: a bad ass who just got kicked out of her sketchy life in arizona to her useless father's clumsy hands. now thet're both attending an upscale boarding school along with the rest of the Cullen/Hale crew. all human. rated teen for mature subject matter, viewer discretion is advised...lol, no for now it's just swearing and minior drug refernce, enjoy.

yay all human!

1. Stuttering, Touching Bras And Other Ways To Break The Ice

Rating 0/5   Word Count 1740   Review this Chapter

Edward POV
Carlisle said that spending time with people my age would help ease that weird block people felt around me. He said that if I relaxed and just tried to be a normal teenager well, I’d succeed. He said it would help in the future. That was why he had sent me to a boarding school.
“This isn’t a punishment Edward” he swore “this is purely to help you function better.”

Of course, it wasn’t all bad. My sister Alice was coming. Our other brother Emmett would also be attending. And it was a very high class private school, or so I had been assured on countless occasions by my adoptive father. Plus my siblings cute teenage lovers would be there too.

Rosalie and Jasper Hale were two children from a very wealthy family. Richard and Gloria Hale, their parents, were not very affectionate people, quite cold and impersonal. Which kind of explained Rosalie’s icy personality and strong confidence. It didn’t however justify how in touch with his emotions Jasper had become. It wasn’t that he cried or anything but he had an uncanny ability to figure out how he felt about things which girls found very attractive. The five of us had pretty much stuck together at our old schools but all of our parents (who generally always made decisions as a large team) agreed now was a good time for more…in depth education. Our little group had been enrolled in the gifted program as we all excelled in previous schools.

“Okay kids” my father’s voice shook me out of my head and back into our car. “this is it, your new school!” he tried too hard to help us get excited about our new place of residence. He didn’t have to but I knew he genuinely cared about our enjoyment in life. He and Esme may not have been my birth parents like they were Alice and Emmett’s but I loved them both dearly.

“Oh look Edward!” Alice was already squealing about how pretty the water fountains were in the court yard. She slipped over Emmett's and out the door only to spin around on the worn cobble stone.

“Yeah it’s nice Alice” I muttered helping Carlisle get our bags out of the trunk. I could practically hear her scolding me for my lack of enthusiasm. I had a sixth sense for the minds of those around me. I could always guess what others where thinking. According to Esme, it was a skill I had even when I was a young child.

After our suitcases had been excavated from the trunk, the moving truck pulled up which was closely followed by the Hale car. Jasper sprinted to Alice while Rosalie just waited by her car for Emmett as she filed her nails. I awkwardly gave the movers directions to the dorms, dividing the perfectly matched furniture up between Alice’s room, Emmett’s and mine.

Like Rosalie, I had requested a private room. Alice was a social butterfly and wanted someone to stay up late and paint her toenails with. She had tried to convince the rest of us to get roommates who weren’t each other. Rose and I had declined but Jasper, who would do anything she asked but was still too shy to leave a person like that up to fate, was staying with Emmett. The two were quite close as they were forced to double date frequently and were close family friends.

“I just know my roommate and I will be good friends” Alice guaranteed for probably the five hundredth time. I laughed as I watches Emmett pat her patronizingly on the shoulder with a “sure Alice whatever you say” even though we knew she would probably be right. Alice got funny little inklings on what the future might hold sometimes.

“How nice to see you, Gloria!” Esme greeted her close friend with a warm hug. The two mothers began chit chatting about how excited they were about us kids and a new school. Richard worked at Carlisle’s hospital in Seattle. They busied themselves with talk of an interesting transplant case, slowly unfolding while I began to take off with my things in search of my room.

Bella POV

“Bella, you need to learn some boundaries” this was a quote I heard a lot from all the adults in my life. My mother Renee, Phil my step dad and Charlie my real dad. Although Charlie slightly less because I had only just moved in with him and when we punished me, I think he always felt a bit like if I didn’t like his rules, I ‘d go home to my mom’s. She had sentenced my to death for my type about six months previous, small town living. Apparently a sense of community would cure my alcoholic/pothead ways right up.

I had started Forks high school like a legend, Isabella swan, the bad girl from the big city, the police chief’s daughter is returning to her roots in bumfuck nowhere. For a while I couldn’t get these kids to back off of me the junior hicks wouldn’t leave me alone. The boys especially. In fact it was my special attention to boys that landed me here at a boarding school. I had received a full scholarship to attend this fancy pants prep school which would help me reach my full potential in my writing. It was bullshit of course as my fulfilling the potential that I didn’t believe was there was not somewhere I wanted to be.

Charlie didn’t want to leave me there. I think he thought it was too mean or sad or I don’t know, I guess just not his style. He wasn’t comfortable with all the parents milling about, yammering on about how glad they were that little Lisa and Henry had been accepted, And wasn’t this just the nicest school ever? Anyway, he’d driven me and my bags here.

“So you want me to come check out your dorm?” Charlie asked me in a sort of scared voice.

“Not really” I answered, jamming my hands into my pockets, a difficult feat as my pants were so tight I couldn’t walk in them very well.

“Good.”he sighed a bit. He was clearly glad I didn’t want him to carry my junk to my room. But then he felt bad about not wanting to help, a conflicted expression took over his face. It took just about everything I had not to laugh.
“So I’ll go then, see you at parent’s night Bella, just a few weeks away.” He used his stern I am-a-parent-you-better-listen-to-me voice.
“So I’ll know if you're up to anything over here, just because there aren’t many adults here doesn’t mean you can let your reckless side out, you can’t run free.” It hurt him to punish me, to be tough. His preferred serious talks went more like this:

him-so Bella be good okay?
me-yeah dad, no problemo.
him-I really like this pizza, what did you put in it Bells?
Me-mushrooms and tons of cheese. Oh and chicken. And sun dried tomatoes.
Him-well it’s terrific Bella. The best you’ve made all month.
Me-oh thanks dad, you mind if I go out tonight?
Him-no no Bella go head, just be home by midnight.
Me-I might not be able to, i am sleeping over at patty’s house.
Him-oh okay.

Needless to say discipline had never been one of his many talents. I awkwardly walked over to him and hugged him good bye. We both said some stuff like ‘I will miss you’ and ‘I will be sure to call’ blah blah blah. Finally he was driving away down the pavement, all the windows of the car rolled down.

I looked around me at all my stuff. Like a funny little fort built around me out of boxes and luggage. Okay, I thought to myself. I can so completely do this. Its just a matter of staking right and keeping these piles balanced. I assured myself looking up and down at the precarious pile that was bound to fall on me at some point.

I gathered all the handles and began trying to move. Sure enough, the boxes came raining down on me, the suitcases came down like giant matching hail, plummeting from the sky. Something containing my unmentionables opened so soon the sidewalk was littered with ridiculously lacy undergarments. Typical, I glared at the faulty cardboard box, grabbing handfuls of bras and panties.

Quite brilliantly noting this whole transporting my stuff to my room thing wasn’t working. I sat down on the sidewalk and fished around in my bag for my pack of menthol Benson and hedges. Once I found a light too, I had calmed down greatly. I liked the gentle smoke, billowing through my nostrils and mouth. I felt like a dragon when I smoked. I smiled to myself at the comparison and blew a smoke ring.

“Hey, um is this yours?” asked a very attractive voice from behind me. the person in question had a mop of bronze coloured hair and very pale skin. His large eyes glowed out of his thick bangs. I noticed he was trying to hand me a bra without seeming too awkward about it. He blushed a bit in a sweet little innocent way. It was probably then that I decided to fuck with him a little bit.

“Yeah” I said eying the fabric and then his face, still not taking it from him. “It is,” I took another drag. Before giving him a look that almost said is there anything else you want to say?

“Um …don’t you want it?” he bit his lip anxiously like he really didn’t want to draw the attention of holding such a garment. I stared at him for a long moment before getting up.

“Okay” I said flicking the butt away in no particular direction. I grabbed the bra and stuffed it in my purse. I then thrust my open palm at him in typical handshake readiness. “I’m Bella.”

“Edward” he breathed. He gazed intently at me, he may have been gorgeous but I was beginning to wonder about his sanity. He must have caught that look on my face cause he quickly recovered. “You want a hand with your bags?”

“Okay” I shrugged, sliding my hand out of his. “You can take those ones over there” I pointed to a collapsed pile “My clothes, you seem well acquainted with my underwear already” I laughed as I led the way.