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It's Kind OF A Funny Story

Edward: a socially inept boy probably destined to become a hermet, even if he is really cute. Bella: a bad ass who just got kicked out of her sketchy life in arizona to her useless father's clumsy hands. now thet're both attending an upscale boarding school along with the rest of the Cullen/Hale crew. all human. rated teen for mature subject matter, viewer discretion is advised...lol, no for now it's just swearing and minior drug refernce, enjoy.

yay all human!

2. Unsettled And Settling In

Rating 5/5   Word Count 3283   Review this Chapter

Edwards POV

With a comforting sense of accomplishment, I left my room and began heading back to my families. I strolled passed random groupings of students and parents, some excited or crying or worried. The parents’ emotions varied as well. The whole experience brought a zoo to mind, I pictured little cages built around the children and relatives, small wooden stands erected around, describing what each imaginary enclosure contained. “the over paranoid parental unit is generally paired with laid back kids with general disrespect for society, personal hygiene and The Man.” I snorted a bit when I laughed at that.

Then after walking around the different exhibits for a while, I came across what appeared to be a large pile of boxes and bags. Smoke billowed out from behind the pile, smoke rings floated towards me, caused me to cough a bit and look down. a black lacy bra lying on the pavement immediately caught my attention. I picked it up with the intentions of returning it to it’s fun-loving owner.

“Hello?” I ask timidly. Jesus Edward, you’re lucky she didn’t hear you, you get a second try at this. Okay try to get her attention again but this time, I want to pretend you have balls. I can practically hear Emmett’s voice in my head.

“ Hey um..is this yours?” I held the lacy garment towards the back of her. Emmett’s voice was not impressed but I didn’t really care. Her hair is brown and sleek and shiny, it hung down to the small of her back.

She turned to face me. a surprised look takes over her beautiful face. Skin like porcelain, eyes like chocolate, heart shaped face.

“Yeah” she looked between me and her bra “It is” another puff of her cigarette. She looked ready to turn back around to face the road again. Didn’t she want it?

“Um …don’t you want it?” I bit my lip, I can feel round two of a blush warming my cheeks. Oh boy. Her eyes sized me up. I felt uncomfortable, like I should be impressing her somehow. Jasper or Emmett would have known what to do. Not me though, I'm romantically challenged. I half wished the two of them were here now, to give me pointers.

“Okay” she flicked the cigarette butt away and answered my earlier question. She took the bra and shoved it away, into a strange looking bag. She stuck her hand out for me to shake. “I’m Bella” she smiled at me in a way that doubted my intelligence.

“Edward” I whispered. Oh great, no no Edward don’t you dare start off with a strong foot with this girl! No no, drop the ball why don’t you! Go ahead Edward! Just ogle her until she walks a way. What a fucking terrific first impression you just etched in to her memory forever…my sub conscience screamed. What the fuck, Edward?! We are supposed to be a team! “You want a hand with your bags?”

“Okay” she shrugged, taking her hand away from mine. “You can take those ones over there” she indicated a collapsed pile “My clothes, you seem well acquainted with my underwear already” she threw her head back in laughter and led the way to her room.

My face’s pigment had far surpassed pink, it had progressed to full on red.
I walked along behind Bella, carrying a plethora of her things through familiar hallways. finally she stopped in front of a door I had just left.

“Here? you live here?” I asked.

“Uh yeah I guess so” she looked at me funny.

“My sister lives here.” I clarified. So Bella was the mystery roommate.

“You have a sister?” Bella looked up at me.

“Yeah I do” I said, adding the ‘yeah’ in there in a vain attempt at sounding more casual. I had been doing that kind of thing a lot lately, trying to sound like a normal kid. “Alice, she was very excited to find out about her roommate.” I laughed “but then again, Alice is excited about everything.” To my relief Bella laughed along with me as tried to describe my sister who resembled more of a fashionably respectable pixie than teenage girl. Bella finally found her key and let us back into Alice’s room.

It’s wan’t a surprise to me to find Alice sitting comfortably in her new and very expensive bed. Ordering Jasper around the room. He followed her instructions, lifting the coffee table only to place it in the spot it was a minute ago. He looked back up at her expectantly, never tired.

“Okay Alice I think you can let your slave boy here take a break, I have someone to introduce to you.” I always felt more comfortable joking with Alice than normal people.

“Okay, Jasper, you can go help yourself to something in the mini fridge.” Alice waved her hand dismissivly. “You must be Bella.” Alice got up and shot across the room to greet her new friend.

“Yeah I am.” Bella shook Alice's hand with her eyebrow cocked up, “How’d you know? Are you psychic or something?” we all laughed even though Alice did have a strange knack for predicting the future.

“No no, it’s on the sheet” Alice held up a piece of printer paper.

“Cheater” laughed Bella, instantly comfortable with Alice. I found myself jealous of Alice, insanely so.

Bella POV

At that moment Jasper, Alice’s bitch, returned to the couch with a large tasty looking sandwich in hand. He shot a funny look at Edward who was still loaded down with my luggage.

“Hey Alice?” I asked “Where should I set up camp?” Alice pointed to a bed in the corner of the room. It was a thin cot. Splendid, I thought to myself.

“Oh Bella don’t worry about that scrawny excuse for a mattress. we’re going shopping in an hour or so,” Alice told me.

“This should be fine, I don’t really have the cash.” I admitted, thinking back fondly to all the fun things I’d spent my money on.

“Oh don’t worry, it’s on me. my dad got all environmental on my ass, he said I had to keep furniture for atleast three years before I was allowed to replace it but I can decorate you!” she grinned almost hungrily, clasping her hands together.

“Seriously?” I raised my eyebrow. I faintly noticed Edward leaning against the door frame, shaking his head.

“Think nothing of it, I love shopping!” she literally squealed. “Plus we’re going out together soon, we need dresses!” It was this moment that I took a strong liking to the girl.

“Cool” I grinned. I could definitely do with more dresses. When Renee kicked me out, she’d tried to get rid of my more revealing clothing but I’d snuck them backing into my suitcases. Once she realized I still had my clothes, I was at Charlie’s. with an ‘indecent’ wardrobe, she’d made Charlie go through it while I was at school. I would look forward to this trip greatly. “Edward?” I snap my fingers like I would a dog and pointed to my shitty bed. “Would you mind just taking things over to my side of the room.”

“Sure” he answer eagerly. I watched him easily lift my heaviest things. I pulled my rolling suitcases over to myside of the room and quickly shoved my clothes under my bed.

I began unloading my movies and music. I stowed the dvds in the little shelf under a large plasma screen tv. My cds got stacked beside the couch and Alice made a note to buy me a large shelving unit and dresser.

Suddenly Alice piped up. “Hey, how do you two know each other?” I immediately started laughing while Edward turned an endearing shade of pink.

“My lingerie bag exploded, thus drawing him to me” I snickered mercilessly. “Once he saw my underwear I guess he wanted to see them on me.” I said, sending me Alice and Jasper into a fit of laughter.

“No I just saw that she was having some trouble and thought I’d help her out” Edward insisted. “It wasn’t like that at all!” I loved how embarrassed he got. He was adorable. The body of a model with the sweetness of a puppy, this Edward clearly had no idea what he had going for him.


I had to hand it to Alice, she had a skill with the credit cards. She picked out perfect furniture for our room. We had a new coffee table that reminded me of a large marsh mellow, new drapes that I felt spoke volumes on who we were. She picked out a new bed for me too, just as she promised. It was a day bed with wrought iron swirls as the walls. I had snaked my arm around Edward and kissed his cheek

"Do you think that looks right for us babe?" I joked as he turned an all new shade of red and stuttered something incoherent.

As I thought we walked into the clothing store I wondered why Edward was even here. Weren’t guys supposed to hate shopping. I asked alice.

“Well someone has to carry our bags” Alice strugged. I liked her thinking. I could see a great friendship on the horizon.

Alice and I raced from isle to isle, each of us adding to the hefty piles growing in our change rooms. Outfit after outfit was thrown over the changin room door as Jasper caught each garment with ease, probably because he had so much practice. Edward clumsily held my discarded clothing, an article or two slipping through a gap near his arm as I threw another blue dress over.

“I’m coming out” Alice’s voice drifted over the change room.

“Okay.” Alice and I came out. We faced each other critically. It was abundantly clear to me that Alice would look amazing in absolutely anything but this dress looked extra special. It was black with little sequins on it. They caught the light like small stars. Her pale skin contrasted drastically to the dark colour, making her skin look more white and her hair look more black.

“You’ve got to get that.” Alice waved her hand around in the air in front of me. “it looks awesome.”

“Are you kidding? If you don’t buy that, I will!” I threatened.

“What do you think?” Alice turned her body to face our audience. Her eyes narrowed in such a way that challenged Jasper to get the answer wrong. He gave her a look, it said ‘oh baby I think you know what I think.’ Then she shot one back, her eyes softening until the situation had progressed to full on goo-goo eyes. I raised my eyebrow and Edward hopped to it and elbowed Jasper in the rib.

“Yes Edward what do you think?” Alice sighed, seated from jasper’s lap.

“You guys look great.” Edward’s green eyes washed across the jeans and tube top I was wearing. The rest of the shopping trip was fine. Alice paid and loaded our bags into the waiting arms of our companions then she and I walk ahead and spoke of our hobbies.

Alice POV

There was something wrong with Edward. He stared at bella like she had some difficult math problem written across her forehead, something he couldn’t figure out. He followed behind her to our dorm room, carring all of her bags but one. When I recommended he go back to the car and get our new furniture, he hesitated at the door until Bella looked him in the eye and asked him if there was something he needed. He left but hurried back.

Edward was never exactly talkative. He was more the strong and silent type, well more clumsy than that but still very shy. And here he was, speaking far less than normal, laughing sometimes but mostly watching Bella’s reactions carefully. He didn’t make any snide comments when I jokingly asked him what he was waiting for and why he hadn’t assembled Bella’s bed. He tried to build it quickly but quick for Edward typically ends in destruction. He failed often, probably because he kept glancing over his shoulder at her. Eventually her bed was ready but he still proceeded to make it carefully with the new sheets we bought and the pretty patterned comforter.

That’s when the idea hit me. well it was more of a collection of images, Bella and Edward holding each other tenderly, Bella and Edward walking hand in hand, Edward kissing Bella passionatly. Could it be possible? Could Edward have a crush on Bella? If it were, his behavior had far surpassed ‘crush’ and had moved right ahead to head over heels in love. I stopped right there. Edward couldn’t be in love could he?

I glanced up at that dumbstruck look on his face as he gazed at her. Of course, how hadn’t I seen it. The signs couldn’t have been more obvious, Just unexpected. Jasper’s arm, which was wrapped protectively over my shoulders, shook me gently.

“Earth to Alice” Bella waved her hand in front of my face.

“don’t worry, she gets like this sometimes,” Jasper explained, “when she gets too caught up in her thoughts, she drifts out.” as usual, Jasper could describe how I felt perfectly.

“Sorry guys”I smiled and looked at Edward. it was in his eyes, that longing, that neverending patience. That devotion. Jesus Christ! I thought to myself, he barely knows the girl!

I dove right back into the conversation, still thinking about those strange images. I was pretty sure it was just my overactive imagination, feeding off a hair of a possibility but still…it was in my head now. “ohh, it’s getting late. I think it’s high time you boys left so me and Bella can go be friends now” I smiled at my love.

“Be back soon.” He promised into my ear.

“Tomorrrow.” I corrected him, I gave him a stern look, keeping his adorable tendancey to throw rocks at my window until I came out in mind. He kissed me gently and left with Edward, the both of them looking over their shoulders at us. The door clicked closed I looked to bella.

“what do you want to do?” she asked me, walking over to lie on her bed.

“we could watch a movie” I smiled brightly. She bolted up and we ran to our now merged movie collection. After a half hour of deciding, we settled on my copy of ‘The Covenant’. We put on our pajamas and popped some popcorn. It was a hilariously bad movie that allowed for a ton of talking and not a lot of paying attention. We watched as the boys walked around for most of the movie, mainly topless.

“I’d bang him” Bella announced as the Caleb character dove into the pool.

“Obviously” I hit her with a pillow in a typical slumber party fashion. “that’s why he’s the main guy.”

“yeah but I stick by my earlier statement” she cruched some more popcorn in her mouth. the rest of the night went well. When the movie ended, I brushed my teeth and asked her if she was going to bed.

Bella’s POV

“naw, I think I’ll go for a walk.” I answered, yanking my hoodie on and sticking my smokes and a light in my pocket. “I’ll be safe.” I grinned closing the door.

The campus at night was actually pretty quiet. Not so many drunk kids running around, fucking things up. I kept walking, flicking the ashes off from time to time. I saw the nurse’s station and laughed. The old bella would have needed to go there all the time, the new improved Bella however, well she had practiced walking and had mastered the fine art.

I saw the giant building containing what I assumed where all the classrooms and walked around it. I came across the dining area, or so said the huge sign, I had an inkling Alice would disapprove of the caffiteria food, infavor of something ridiculously priced. I really liked Alice. I was glad we got saddled together.

I could see the girl’s dorms coming up again, signifying I had walked around the entire campus. As I passed boy’s dorms, I saw a figure lying on the grass. As I aproched him I recognized him.

“Edward?” I almost laughed. “fancy meeting you here, what the fuck are you doing out?” I sat on the grass beside him as he sat up.

“I like to see the moon.” He muttered, embarrassed again. Even in this faint light, I could see the pink on his cheeks.

“me too” I smiled at him. He turned right at me, gazing into my eyes. I almost gasped, never allowing myself to be like that again, dazzleable.

“what are you doing out?” he smiled timidly.

“im a werewolf” I laughed and then howeled comically. It came out a little raspier than I’d like but I guessed as my old friend Slim would say, that was the price of success. “no, I just wanted to go for a walk.” I shrugged.

“aren’t you scared?” he asked.

“of?” I asked him sceptically, just when I was about to find myself liking him, he went and said something crazy again. It was endearing, the way he couldn’t say something without being painfully awkward about it. But i wasn’t interested in nice guys anymore.

“a pretty young woman,” he swallowed uncomfortably, “out at night…” he trailed off. When I laughed, he seemed more embarrassed, maybe I’d keep him around, just for the enterainment. He muttered something that sounded like “stupid stupid stupid! Why can’t you just be cool? Just don’t talk!” I calmed down and rested my hand on his forearm. He tensed.

“Edward, I assure you, I have been in stickier situations.” I laughed and got up. “I should get going, first day tomorrow.” I feinted enthusiasm “gotta be up in the morning, Alice seems like an early riser.” I laughed.

“you have no idea.” He grinned off to the side. I held my hands out to him and helped him up. “may I walk you back to your room?” he asked sheepishly.

“why yes you may, my good sir.” I curtsied with the pockets of my hoodie. “but I assure you, mr. cullen, I am quite safe on my own.” He timidly tried to slip his out of mine but I held him fast.

“Miss Isabella, I do this so I know you have returned in safety, merely to ensure a fitful nights sleep for me.” he smiled back down at me, he squeezed my hand.

“listen Cullen, nobody likes a show off” I told him. We walked in a comfortable silence. I worked harder than usual to keep that natural giddiness out of my voice, the laughter and carefreeness that bubbled just bellow my perfectly apathetic front. I tried extra hard to keep that silly smile off my face, the one that matched his. I sucked my cheeks, I bit my lip I did everything to keep from showing the excitement I felt as his hand swung intertwined with mine. There was no way in hell I would feel that again, be vunerable to a boy. In the gentlemanly fashon I now expected from him, he opened the door for me. together, we walked through the hallway.

“Good night Bella” he murmerd, turning to me outside my door. He’d unintentionally put us too close together. I grinned up at him. He blushed sweetly, I was abruptly reminded of the summers of my childhood, warm sunsets and my red plastic bucket. I stopped myself before I could think of him as more than a boy, more than my prey.

“g’night Edward” my arms slipped around him, pulling him tightly into an unexpected hug. “see you tomorrow im sure.”

When I finally fell into bed, I drifted into the sweetest dreams. I couldn’t remember much but the beautiful green eyes that had kept me free of nightmares all night.