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Loch Ness Monster

Summary:
I believe that every teenage girl feels like a freak at some point on the road to adulthood. I, however, am a real freak. Nessie's story. Loch Ness Monster


Notes:


3. Forgiveness

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 1718   Review this Chapter

Nahuel was even more handsome than I’d remembered him. His eyes were so piercing, and his jaw was so strong. He had cut his hair considerably since I’d last seen him. It came only to his jaw-line now, and framed his face perfectly.

For hours, we all sat at the kitchen table, discussing events of the past. I was generally quiet, unless spoken to directly. Nahuel didn’t seem to notice too much. He told everyone of his mother, Huilen, and how she regretted not being able to visit. She was on some kind of archeological dig, a hobby of hers. My parents spoke endlessly about how quickly I was growing and what an accomplish musician I was and how funny it had been when I had been accused of anorexia and Carlisle and Esme had to come in to school to convince the school nurse that I was fine.

Eventually, I had had enough and excused myself. Jacob looked concerned, but I told him to stay and relax. There was no need to ruin his evening just because mine was lying in shards on the floor.

We had a fairly elaborate deck in the backyard of the house. It was lined with stone and held a Jacuzzi and pool. Esme’s garden was on the opposite end by a few chairs. I often came out there to read or draw. Rarely, was it for escape.

I was angry with myself for acting like a child. Children run away from the things that they dislike. Adults turn the situation. They laugh and smile and maneuver the situation to one with which they are more comfortable. I didn’t know how to do that though. I knew how to hide.

“Excuse me,” his voice pulled me out of my shame spiral. I turned instinctively, back towards the door I’d come from. Nahuel.

“Hello,” I said, smiling stupidly.

“Hello,” he smiled too, though it was so much subtler—more in his eyes than anything else. “Would you mind if I joined you?”

“Uh,” I shrugged, trying to contain my excitement. “No, not at all.”

He nodded once and stepped closer to me, “It’s a very nice sanctuary you have out here. Did you plant these?” he indicated the violet flowers nearest me.

“No,” I said. “Esme planted them. She—she likes to…” I shrugged, feeling ridiculous. “…Garden.”

He nodded and sat across from me, “I’ll have to compliment her on them later.”

“O—okay,” I mumbled, and then winced as an awkward silence hovered between us.

“So,” he smirked, “You left in quite a hurry back there. Stories getting to be too much?”

“I guess,” I ran a hand through my hair. “They, uh, my parents just don’t seem to know when enough is enough.”

“They’re just impressed by you, is all,” he said. “They like to brag.”

“Bragging, really, is that what they were doing?” I sneered. “It felt more like their own, special brand of humiliation.”

He chuckled, a magical sound. I breathed in, trying to calm myself. “So, Nessie, what have you been up to this past year? The, uh, non-humiliating version.”

I laughed lightly, “Uh, well…I’ve read a lot, and, uh, I don’t know. My life’s not all that interesting.”

“Oh, I’m sure that’s not true. Aren’t you still going to school?” he asked.

“Yes,” I answered shyly.

“Well, I’d love to hear about that. I never had the chance to attend a traditional high school. Huilen taught me everything she thought I should know. Why don’t you tell me about high school? Do you have any friends?”

If the question had come from anyone else, it would be offensive. “Yes, I have friends.”

“And do they know about…you?” he asked, smirking.

“No,” I shook my head. “No, they just think I’m kind of pale.” I shrugged, and he laughed.

“What about boys?”

I paused a moment. I did not like that word—boys. If he considered me the target of boys, didn’t that mean that I was a ‘girl’? Ugh. “Uh, some, yeah, but…I’m not really…”

“Interested?” he finished for me.

“Yeah,” I nodded. “They’re just a little too—I know it sounds ironic, but—I just feel like they’re very young.”

“How so?” he leaned towards me, fascinated, like I was some specimen to be studied.

“I don’t know,” I shrugged. “They have a tendency to say things, because they think they’re supposed to. They don’t say what they really mean.”

“How frustrating,” he smiled.

“I guess.”

“How about girlfriends?” he nodded once, assuming it to be a happier topic.

“Eh,” I bit my lip, “There are some. Girls don’t seem to like me too much, though.”

“What do you mean?” he narrowed his eyes.

I tilted my head, remembering a story from the last year. “Well, there was this girl, Kaylee, and we were sort of friends. And, apparently, she really wanted to go out with this other kid, Simon, and, I don’t know…I thought I would try and help her out, so I talked to him about her and he…”

“He wasn’t interested?”

“Well, there was that, but, it turned out, he…he favored me, and, of course, I told him that I wouldn’t do that to Kaylee, but…”

“She was upset with you for that?” he seemed perplexed.

“She was just upset. I know it wasn’t really directed at me.” His forehead was creased with confusion. “She lashed out to soften the blow. You know, it wasn’t that he rejected her; it was that I was a tramp. See how that’s easier to believe?”

“No,” he said. “Who would believe a thing like that?” He seemed to be getting rather upset.

“Uh,” I shrugged. “I don’t know, but it’s really not a big deal, just…high school politics, I guess.”

“You forgave her?” He was shocked.

“Well, uh, yeah, I guess I did,” I tried a shy smile.

He was quiet for a long moment, but he did not look away from me. “You must tell me how you do that,” he said, finally.

I shook my head, “Do what?”

“Forgive so easily,” he sighed, in awe. “You forgive so much, not just in this schoolgirl, but so much more. I’ve never met anyone who forgives so much.”

“Oh,” I blushed. “Well…I just feel like you should be kind to people when they mess up, so that, when you mess up…and you will mess up,” a smile pulled at the corners of my mouth. “You’ll have someone there to be kind to you.”

He shook his head, impressed, “And who taught you that?”

I swelled with pride, “No one taught me.” I looked right into his eyes and felt a certain sense of comfort that had not previously been there. “I just…I think it makes sense.”

“Incredible,” he breathed.

“Thank you,” I leaned into him.

Our faces were very close. His breath was warm on my face, “You’re parents did have something right.”

I laughed softly, “Yeah? What’s that?”

“You are stunningly beautiful,” he smiled.

Ah! I almost screamed. He brought a hand up and traced my cheek with his finger. It felt dangerously wonderful, and I leaned into his touch, closing my eyes. “Carlie,” a whisper.

I opened my eyes at once, but it was too late. Nahuel’s lips were on mine. I sucked in my breath instantly, without thinking. Carlie? Did he just call me Carlie? I was upset by it, though I didn’t exactly know why. It wasn’t as if Jacob had a patent on it, and I did go by many nicknames. Maybe he’d heard it from Jake and thought everyone called me that.

He moaned, and I jumped out of my train of thought, remembering that someone was kissing me. I closed my eyes again, and tried to put the name out of my mind. His hand traveled from my cheek to my hair, holding me close to him. It felt good. It all felt good. I smiled against his mouth, and he pulled away but kept his face close to mine. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m too instinctual, not at all controlled. I just…wanted…I’m sorry.”

I smiled coyly, “I forgive you,” and pulled him in for another kiss.

I had not slept so well in a very long time. I was dreamless, motionless, and effortless. Nahuel had kissed me. Kissed me! I felt like flying or soaring or running at the very least. Maybe Nahuel would be interested in going with me for a morning hunt. Oh, who was I kidding, of course he would be! He liked me! He’d kissed me!

“Nessie,” Alice stood at the top of the stairs, the most terrible look of sorrow on her tiny face.

“Alice, what’s wrong?” I shook my head, taking her hands.

“I couldn’t see, honey. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have let you think…I’m just…I’m really sorry,” she nodded.

Instantly, I thought of Grandpa and tears came to my eyes. “Alice, what? Is he okay? What happened?”

“Grandpa’s fine, Renesmee,” Mom came up the stairs to meet us. “It’s something else.”

“What?” I demanded.

“Bring her down, Bella,” Dad sounded angry.

I didn’t wait for her to bring me. I pounded down the stairs as fast as I could and found the entire family standing around Nahuel and…who…?

“Morning, Carlie,” Jake had the most pained expression on his face. It made me want to cry.

“What’s going on?” There was a woman standing beside Nahuel. She was a vampire. Tall, lean, blonde—in fact, she looked very similar to Rosalie, accept for the bright red eyes. She was a newborn? What was a newborn doing here?

Nahuel scanned the faces of my family, ending with my father’s. He shook his head, “Absolutely not. This is for you to do.”

“Renesmee,” Nahuel sighed; he was unable to look me in the eye. “This is Carla.” I swallowed hard, terrified of this woman before me. “My wife.”