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Loch Ness Monster

Summary:
I believe that every teenage girl feels like a freak at some point on the road to adulthood. I, however, am a real freak. Nessie's story. Loch Ness Monster


Notes:


4. Privilege

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 1225   Review this Chapter

“Married!” I was screaming at the top of my lungs. “Married?!”

“It’s not what you think, Nessie,” Nahuel was leaning against my doorframe. “Just let me explain.”

I had run up to my room after hearing that word—that horrible word! Wife! His wife! He was married!

“There is nothing to explain! You have a wife! You are married! You really need to get out of my house!” I shrieked. He had come running after me.

“I didn’t want to marry her, Nessie! It was an accident!” he shrugged.

“An accident?! An accident?!!” I pounded toward him. “That doesn’t even make sense, Nahuel. People do not get married accidently…” I paused. “Especially people who can’t even get drunk! It just doesn’t happen!”

“No, I didn’t mean that. I didn’t marry her accidentally. I…I bit her,” he admitted, letting his head fall.

That quieted me. “You what?”

“I bit her…that was the accidental part. I..I was seeing her for a while and when things started to get…intimate…I couldn’t take it and I…” I shuddered, but did not interrupt. “And then she started changing, and my mother said that I had to…that it would be the right thing to do.”

I thought I might be sick. It made a little sense. His wife was a newborn. It was at least plausible.

“I…I’m not in love with her, Nessie. I barely even know her, but, she’s very possessive. I’ve hardly even seen another girl in—“

“God,” I sneered. “You’re not really going to tell me that this is her fault.”

“Well, she treats this like I really am married to her,” he shrugged.

“You are!” I yelled at him.

“Yeah, but…but I don’t want to be!”

“Nahuel,” I sighed. “I don’t know what the hell you thought I would…I mean…I can’t…” I couldn’t find the words. I had held this man in such high regard. I had assumed he could do no wrong. I stared at him, cowering at my door—begging, sniveling—so small. “You have to leave, Nahuel. I would appreciate it if you didn’t try and contact me again. I hope you and your wife have a very happy life together.” I felt tears form at the back of my throat, but I was determined not to let them fall.

“Renesmee,” he crooned. “Don’t be like that. I really care about you. You—you’re so beautiful and kind…”

“Stop it,” I demanded, unsure of my own determination. “Get out of my house.”

“Carlie,” he whispered. “Listen to me.”

“No!” I shouted. That was it. I was livid. “You will take your wife and get out of my room and my house and my life! I never want to see you again.”

“But—“

“And don’t you call me Carlie one more time. That’s not a privilege you’ve earned,” I said, putting a slightly tougher edge into my voice. I like the way it made me feel.

“Fine, then,” he snarled, and turned away.

I listened for a few moments, until I heard Nahuel and Carla leave, then I felt my whole body fall. The tears came out like a flood, and I let my head fall into my hands as my legs gave out under me.

I’d never been in so much pain. I’d never let myself fall so hard for anyone. I hated it. There was an ache in my chest that felt like a hand pushing me down. I was miserable.

“Carlie,” Jacob whispered by the door and bent down to hold me. “Shh, shh. I know, Carlie. I know. It’s okay.” His arms were wrapped around me tightly as I continued to cry.

“How could I be so stupid?” I blubbered into his shoulder.

“You’re not stupid,” he shook his head. “There was no way you could know.”

“He kissed me, Jacob! He kissed me, and he said I was pretty, and he…” I bawled.

“I know, baby. I know,” he reached over and took one of my hands and placed it on his cheek. It was an easier way for me to communicate. I showed his everything that had happened last night and what had just happened this morning. I showed him how happy I had been at the thought of him liking me. I showed him my very real doubt that anyone else could possibly be right for me. “No,” he crooned. “That’s certainly not true. There are a million guys out there, ladybug.” I smiled slightly, but reminded him that Nahuel was the only other freak like me. “Well, don’t limit yourself like that, Carlie. Look at your parents. If your dad had only let himself see other vampires, you might not be here.”

I sniffled and picked my head up, feeling a little bit better. “I guess that’s true,” I conceded, taking my hand back.

“Of course it is,” he shrugged. “I said it.” I reached over to my bed and threw a pillow at him. He caught it without flinching and chuckled. “You feel better, little girl?”

I took a deep breath and wiped my tears away, “Yeah, I guess so. You really think there’s someone else out there for me, Jake? I mean, do you believe in that? That idea that there really is only one person who’s right for you?”

“I believe it,” he said, smiling. “And I know you’ll find him.”

I smiled a little, “Wish I could be so sure.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. You’ve got plenty of time,” he said. “Hey, how about we go hunting? Bring your spirits up a bit?”

I sighed, “I don’t know, Jake. I’ve got a lot of reading to do.”

“Aw, come on,” he urged. “We’ll make it a short trip. Bag a few grazing deer, maybe a rowdy bear or two, then we’ll be right back.” I narrowed my eyes, considering. “Come on, Renesmee. Come kill things with me.”

“Ah!” I pushed him away playfully. “That’s terrible!”

“C’mon, girly,” he smiled. “Are the cool kids are doing it.”

I laughed with him, “Okay, then, fine. But if I don’t get this reading done, you get to explain it to my teachers.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he nodded once, mockingly dutiful.

“C’mon, loser,” I nudged his shoulder as I ran out of the room.

“Be careful,” I barely heard my mother call after me. Once I was out in the woods, nothing could reach me. I was only vaguely aware of Jacob running next to me, now in his wolf form. Our footsteps were so light; a human could not hear them. Even with my enhanced hearing, they were scarcely audible.

There was a certain comfort in having Jacob there as I hunted. For some reason, I felt the need to have a guy around at that particular time. I needed to balance it out in my head that I had not caused the situation I was currently in, and having another guy around seemed to be proof in a way.

And as crazy as that sounded to me, it seemed like Jacob understood it. Jacob always seemed to understand me, even when I didn’t understand myself.