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Impossible

Summary:
Bella has a terrible nightmare about Edward and then, he comes back...


Notes:
Disclaimer : I don't own anything Twilight.


2. Chapter 2

Rating 0/5   Word Count 987   Review this Chapter

Charlie’s snores were so loud he would have more chance to awake by himself than being by the engine of my truck. I turned on the lights and raced to the direction of the forest, I was torn by two emotions: I wanted to go there, to feel him, to remember all those moments we spent together, the way he talked to me, explaining what he felt as a vampire and how he kissed me… His lips were so cold on mine, but all I could think about was he kissing me, that was like nothing I’ve ever felt before : my blood had been racing like hell in my veins, my heart went totally crazy and then he found the strength to stop. I could’ve died this day, and it wouldn’t have matter that much. On the other hand, I feared going back there; will it be worse for me then? Knowing what I already knew, that we will never be together again in that meadow, that I’ll never see him in the sunlight again… That thought of me without him made me feel sick, we couldn’t be apart and yet we were, physically at least. Because I could feel him in every cell, every inch of my body, deep down in my soul; it has never been anything else, anyone else but… - no I couldn’t say his name – anyone else but him. Was it the same for him? His eyes were so harsh when he left me, it couldn’t be the same for him. He had told me he was too selfish to leave but he finally did, apparently for my sake… But how could I be sure of this? I had nothing left but memories now.

I was in the middle of nowhere now, really, so I took the map closer to my eyes and looked down at the compass in my hand; I was getting closer, if I was right, in approximately 1.5 miles, the meadow will appear in front of me. I rode forward and paid attention to the light around me, it was well lighted by the moon. This view of the full moon made me think about something creepy: if vampires do exist, could werewolves do? And were the legends right? Would they really go out during full moon? I shivered and tried to concentrate on the road again.

Suddenly, I saw a round where the light was brighter than in any corner of this dark forest; and then hit the brakes. I stopped the truck and get off, it hadn’t changed in about a year, the meadow was still a perfect round, full of flowers, and I could see the moon perfectly ; it was awesome. For the first time in so many months, I was feeling some peace of mind. This place was so full of him, it’s like it belonged to him. I walked toward the place where we sat and talked while I was caressing his hand ; this memory was almost too much, my knees couldn’t carry my weight anymore and I collapsed on the ground, I wish I could cry but I’d been doing this so many times before than I couldn’t anymore. His voice filled my head: You didn’t do anything wrong Bella, it was all my fault... I don’t know how to be close to you... I was thinking there was something I wanted to try.

And then, I shook my head to make this now painful memory go away, he wasn’t here anymore, he wouldn’t take my face in his hands to kiss me anymore. I had to go back home. So I found the strength to get up and ran to my truck, so fast I almost fell. As I raced to home, I found myself feeling better despite the painful memories. I had felt him, and this made me feel good, I knew I would sleep better tonight, not to say well.

When I got home, and managed to go up to my room without Charlie noticing me, I felt exhausted, I definitely needed to sleep. I took off my clothes, put on a top and collapsed in my bed; despite the hole I felt every time in my stomach, I fell asleep easily.

The warmth of the sun gently awoke me, and I stretched myself to help me get up. I hope it was going to be a pretty good day because I was in a good mood and for once, I wanted to enjoy this day. Charlie has already gone to work as I went downstairs; I took a bowl, my box of cereals and some milk and ate slowly. I was thinking about my day, school of course and then I’ll have to get Jacob back to La Push, he was in Forks helping a friend of his dad with a car ; I’ll be pretty busy and it was good, it kept me from thinking too much. When I arrived at school, I saw Angela on my way to class and she smiled at me:

“Hello Bella! How are you today?”

“I’m fine, thanks Angela. How you doing?”

“Well, I’m ok. Tell me, I was thinking it’s been a while we didn’t hang out, would you like to spend an afternoon at my place?”

I felt happy by her invitation.

“Yeah sure, that’ll be great! When?”

“I was thinking about tomorrow, ok? It’ll be sunny moreover!”

Tomorrow was Saturday, I had some homework to do but it was ok, I could stop working for an afternoon at least.

“No problem for tomorrow, I’ll come around 1.30.”

Angela smiled at me to the ears and told me.

“That’s great! See you later!”

She touched my arm and ran to her first class, Angela has always been nice to me and I know he used to appreciate her, so that meant I could trust her.