Text Size Large SizeMedium SizeSmall Size    Color Scheme Black SchemeWhite SchemeGrey SchemePaper Scheme        

Impossible

Summary:
Bella has a terrible nightmare about Edward and then, he comes back...


Notes:
Disclaimer : I don't own anything Twilight.


4. Chapter 4

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 1584   Review this Chapter

It took me an entire minute at least to recover from the shock, I was in my room, it was Thursday, I got up to see the weather outside and it was cloudy and everything was fine. It was just a damn nightmare I wouldn’t have thought I could have. I sat on my bed and cried all my tears for a long moment. He was fine, nothing was written on my wall above my bed and… I had to go to the bathroom, that sounded stupid but I needed to make sure. I went to it and saw that nothing was moved from yesterday evening. I sighed and leaned against the door.

I was trying in vain to get this out of my mind, to get rid of it or it was going to ruin my day, I washed my face with cold water and went back to my room to dress up. I didn’t care much about what I should wear, I didn’t need to be beautiful for anyone ; after I was done getting dress, I got downstairs with my bag and planned on going to school without eating because after this nightmare I really wasn’t hungry. I put on my blue jacket and opened the entrance door and locked it, I looked up at my truck when something clear caught my eye. A car I knew so well was parked to the other side of the yard, a shiny Volvo S60; he opened his door and got off without looking at me. I had the feeling my heart had stopped for several seconds, I wanted to approach him but I wasn’t sure what he came for. He stopped and finally looked up at me, I don’t know what I looked like but his expression was almost astonished; my mouth fell open when he smiled at me hesitantly. Nothing has changed I thought. He was as incredibly gorgeous as the last time I saw him, his hair was still an attractive mess and I noticed his eyes were black coal, why hadn’t he fed those last days? Why was he here? Why now? I had so many questions running through my mind, I couldn’t think normally. And that made me do the most stupid and dangerous thing I’ve ever done, knowing he was thirsty; I let my bag fall on the stairs and ran to him. When my body hit his cold and stone body, it was like a shock – as if I had forgotten the hardness of his skin – I felt some peace when I felt his hold tightening around me, he mumbled my name with emotion and I suddenly was overwhelmed by too different feelings. I was happy above everything, but I was also angry, angry because he left and separated us whereas, even if he doesn’t want to hear it, we are made one for another. I hold him tighter to me and then looked up at him.

“We need to talk Edward,” I told him seriously.

A flash of worry went through his eyes and then, he nodded.

“You’re right."

I took his hand and led him to the woods. He didn’t argue and let me hold his hand until I felt him slow down. I turned back to see what was wrong and he said:

“Do you want to go to our meadow?”

My heart jumped – he certainly felt it – and I nodded. He took me on his back as he used to and ran so fast – oh crap, how could I forget this speed? – to our meadow; one or two minutes later, we were arrived. The place was as beautiful as in my memories except that there were no flowers, it wasn’t the good season for it – contrary to my nightmare – he walked a little forward, looking around him, certainly feeling the same thing than me. I followed behind and began.

“Edward, I-”

He cut me immediately: “No, listen to me first please Bella.”

I frowned a little, amazed by his rush, and then waited for him to begin.

“I don’t know yet if I had made the right thing to come back and I’m not even sure where to start… But I feel like I can’t exist without you anymore, I tried to stay away from you, to give you the chance to have a normal life but I’m definitely too selfish for this.”

I listened without a word; I knew he wasn’t done yet so I’ll wait to say I wanted him to stay forever.

He took a deep breath and smiled. “You see, your scent has the same effect on me it had that first day we met. It’s been too long and it’s doing no good. I don’t know if you found someone else, but if you do, know that I won’t interfere.” He looked down as he said this, he looked hurt and… exhausted?

I approached him and sat on the ground, where we used to before, he studied my acts and did the same. I took his hand gently, knowing what I was risking since he was definitely thirsty, and brushed it with my fingers. It still felt soft like silk and cold as ice to me, I looked up and said: “How could you think this? I may be only human but my feelings for you are totally insane, I could never ever find someone else other than you, I can’t be anything without you.” Did that sound persuasive enough for him?

“So do you want me to stay?”

“Of course, it’s imperative.” I smiled as I say this, and then he made his crooked smile and open his arms to me. I threw myself into them and hold him tight, it was so comfortable, so cool and safe; I wanted to kiss him, just a little, I didn’t want to push him too far when he was thirsty – that made me think about a question.

“When was the last time you hunt?” I asked without releasing my hold.

“I drove for almost 3 weeks to come here, I was very far when I decided I wanted to see you.”

It didn’t really answer the question.

“Near a month.”

This time I reacted. “A month?? Are you insane? You have to go hunting right now, Edward! Or you’ll hurt yourself.”

I was more worried about him being hurt than me being hurt by him. He watched me with surprise and put his hand on my cheek. He caressed it very softly; as he did the first times he touched me and approached his face to mine. I didn’t know how to breathe anymore, it was like our first kiss; he put his lips against mine, just brushing them, to test himself I guess and then gently began to kiss me. I tried to not react like I had the very first time he did, but I couldn’t help myself wrapping my arms around his neck and pushing him closer to me. To my biggest surprise, he didn’t try to stop me or push me away; on the contrary, he pulled me totally against him and put my legs around his waist. That was just too much for my self-control, I didn’t care about what could happen afterwards; I just wanted him right now. So I pushed him to me, make him lay on me. He didn’t stop me from doing this, our breathings were fast and unbalanced, and he started to kiss my neck while his hand touched my waist and my belly, right under my clothes. And then, he suddenly stopped and got up, I got up too and told him: “I’m sorry, Edward.”

He went a few feet away, taking deep breaths and then turned back to face me after a few seconds.

“No, don’t be sorry. It’s just very risky to do this. I don’t want to hurt you.”

I looked down, knowing he was right. I walked to him and took his hand.

“I can wait, go hunt for now. I’ll just wait for you here.”

He shook his head: “There’s no way you’re staying here alone, Bella. Go home, I’ll come right after.”

“Do you promise to come?”

He surely felt my doubt about him because he took my face in his hands and brushed my cheek with his own, which made me blush obviously. He then looked at me and smiled.

“See, I really missed this. I’m not going anywhere away from you Bella.”

“You already promised once and…” I couldn’t finish my sentence.

“Bella, I left because I thought it was what was best for you, I never thought that it would be so bad for both of us; I’m not leaving again, I will never leave you again. If only I could do something to make you believe me…”

I surrendered. “I believe you; I’ve always believed everything you told me, Edward. But you just have to know that I couldn’t stand losing you again.” I’ve never been so serious in my whole life as I was right now, he had to understand that I don’t want to live without him, I don’t want to feel this hole inside of me ever again.

He deeply looked into my eyes and kissed my lips, very softly. “I understand.” It was as if he could’ve read my mind.

He grabbed my arm and put me on his back to take me home.