What she said next I would never forget. "If he dies Edward, I die too... and it will be your fault." Then she left and I knew what I had to do, even if it was going to kill me.
5. Chapter 5
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I laughed at how messed up that was. It wasn’t a funny laugh.
I looked at Bella when I heard her get up from the bed. She grabbed her shirt from the floor and put it back on. Her back was to me as I heard her button up the buttons. I sighed and followed her lead. I pulled my shirt on and turned around to Bella. She was facing me with her arms wrapped protectively around herself. She was still crying.
“Why are you still crying?” I asked.
“Because I couldn’t do it, now there’s nothing else I can give you so that you can go and look after Jake. I’ve failed him.” She said, looking at the floor.
This made me angry.Before I knew what I was doing, I was across the room to her and had my hands on Bella’s shoulders . I shook her, “You haven’t failed anybody. Do you really think that he would want you to have sex with me so that I could go and protect him? Bella, even if he was in danger, I’m the last person on earth who he would want to help him.” I told her.
She looked up at me, but she wasn’t afraid or ashamed like I thought she might be, she just looked disappointed.
She pulled away from me and I released her. She wiped her tears away from her face. “He’s going to die, Edward. I can feel it. Unless we can go over there and keep him safe. He won’t even know we’re there-”
“Wait, wait, hold on a second,” I interrupted her ramblings that were directed more to herself then to me. “I thought the plan was just for me to go, not you.”
“Well, it was, but you made it clear that you’re not going to do that. So I’ve been thinking that we could both go, that way-”
“Wait!” I raised my voice, interrupting her again. “Where did the plan all of sudden include you coming with me half way around the world into a dangerous war zone?” I asked, frustrated that she had even thought of this.
She closed her mouth that had been hanging half way open since I interrupted her. She studied me intensely for a moment and I couldn’t look away from her gaze. “Edward,” she paused… “What was the main reason that you didn’t want to go in the first place?” she asked.
I froze. Oh. Now I saw. So she did see right through me like I always believed she could.
I sighed, “Because I didn’t want to be away from you.” I answered.
“Exactly. Edward, don’t you see? If I went with you I could see Jacob myself and you could keep me safe at the same time, or whatever.” She said.
“Bella, this isn’t necessary. He will be fine, he’s a werewolf for Christ’s sake. He can handle himself.” I reasoned.
“NO!” She cried, her voice rising with desperation. She came over to me quickly and grabbed my shirt with both of her hands. “No! You don’t understand. I have to see him; I can’t get over this feeling in my gut that if I waited for him to come home, I won’t ever see him again. And I’ve tried, God, I’ve tried to stop feeling like this, to be reasonable and let him come back. But no matter how many times I’ve told myself that he’s going to be fine I still feel like he’s not going to come back. I’m tired of going against my gut, I’ve been doing it for two months now, ever since he left to go to this damn war.” She paused and no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t look away from her burning gaze.
She whispered, “If you don’t help me, I’ll find someone who will.” She let go of my shirt and stepped back without looking away from me.
I exhaled harshly and ran my hands through my hair. I shook my head, this wasn’t possible. We’d have to go to Asia. There’s no telling where he would be at. He could be in Iraq, or Iran, or Saudi Arabia or who knows where, there wasn’t no telling where he would be. It could take weeks, months even, to find him, and that’s with my vampire speed.
“Bella, this could take months, what about your school?” I asked.
She laughed. “Edward, it’s been three years, I’m twenty-one years old now, I have my associates degree, when we come back, I can finish and get my bachelors.” She laughed again. “God, Edward, I never thought that you could lose track of time.”
I looked at her, a little shocked. I knew it had been three years, but I haven’t even thought how those three years would age her. Twenty-one. She didn’t look any different since I left her at eighteen.
“Jake’s nineteen.” She laughed again. “He’s older than you now.”
I had to sit down.