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You Don't Know The Half Of It

He would've helped. He really, honestly would've. How was The Famous Edward Cullen supposed to know that his high school girlfriend had given birth to his daughter? How was he supposed to know that his ex-girlfriends brother, who was also her best friend, got in a car accident and the hospital wasnt child friendly? How was he supposed to know that his six year old daughter had to stay with him until her uncle recovered? And how was Emmett supposed to know what stupid was a mean word? AN: A little OOC. Oh, who am I kidding? Bella and Edward are so out of character, its not even funny! Well, I hope its funny. But still. You get what I'm saying. Oh, and banner courtesy of lunamoon!

This is kind of based off the Game Plan. I watched it with my brother and liked the idea of it so I made it a story. Some of the stuff in her is straight out of the movie, but most of the stuff is mine!

25. The Not So Wicked Step Mother And The Oh So Wicked Step Daughter

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1467   Review this Chapter

Bella Swan

"Explain. Now." I hissed, dragging him into the living room. He sat down, slowly, taking everything in.

"Her name is Anna. We've been married for ten years. We have a two year old son, his name is Caden." He mumbled.

"Thats the whole story?" I demanded, rolling my eyes.

"The Readers Digest version." He shrugged, feebly.

"I want the in depth story." She glared.

He sighed and proceeded to explain the whole thing to me. He left out graphic scenes in this little tale.

He did however mention that Anna used to be a stripper in her teenage years. A stripper? Oh my god! My step mother is a whore. He explained to me that her Mother was a drunk and her Father was a drug addict. They were both too busy supporting their habits to support her, so when she turned fifteen, she went and got herself a job as a waitress. Her waitressing job wasn't helping much and she heard from a customer that came in one night that stripping made you tons. So stripping turned into her late night job. She waitressed every day after school and stripped at night. Apparently it made her tons. When she turned eighteen she quit because she was accepted into college on a scholarship in California. She was there for four years and when she graduated, she moved back home to Tennessee to try and reconnect with her her Mother, who had recently stopped drinking. She met my Father two years later. She was working as a waitress in a Diner in Nashville, when Dad was meeting Louie for lunch. They connected instantly. They got married a year later and had a baby boy two years ago. Apparently he tried to invite Jack and I to the wedding, but he didn't know where we were. I can't blame him for that, he was kind of out of the loop. After he told me the whole story, he pulled a picture out of his back pocket.

A blonde woman was laying on a green couch, with her hair wispy around her shoulders. She was smiling sweetly in a white tank top. She was beautiful, I'll give him that. And she looked sweet. But looks can be deceiving. I know that better then anyone. Edward looked conceited and stuck up. Turns out he.....was. Okay, bad example. But in the end, he was a good guy. Still is. Umm....Oh, okay. LuLu looks like a blond airhead, but she's really a smart, witty, confident, warm hearted person. Aha. Knew I could do it. But I'm still not sure about this woman. I mean, if Dad has been married to her for ten years, I guess she has to be okay. Dad doesn't put up with anyone's shit. And if they have a healthy two year old, she has to be alright with kids, which is good for Lila. I can't just have anyone hanging around my kid.

In the end, I promised Dad I would meet her. I was excited about meeting my little brother though. Apparently he looks a lot like Dad. Dad said he had curly brown hair like Jack and Anna's green eyes. But he swears up and down that he has his features, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I wonder if the kid is a brat. I've met a lot of bratty kids, being a dance teacher and with Lila's school. I was hoping Caden was a nice little kid. I wonder if he's started talking yet? Lila said her first words at about nine months old, but she didn't start speaking in sentences until she was about two. But I hear boys are slower than girls.


Don't I know it.

Charlie Swan

"Anna, honey, you look fine." I told her as she ran back into the closet.

She had tried on at least four different outifts. A white sundress, a black pantsit, a red flimsy dress (that I liked very much) and she had just taken off a a black skirt with a blue blouse. I personally thought she looked like a dude in her pantsuit and she looked like she was going in for a job interveiw in the last outift. Just as I was about to tell her I liked the sundress, she walked out of the closet wearing, what do you know, the sundress. I was in a pair of blue jeans with a new tee shirt Anna had gotten me. She told me I needed to look nicer, but I mean c'mon, its just Bella.

We were going to a small Italian restraunt on the outskirts of town. We were meeting Bella, Edward and Lila there. Anna went and got Caden all dressed and we loaded into me Police Cruiser. Anna detested riding in it, just like Bella. Anna bitches all the time about it. Caden likes it when I make the siren go off. Anna grinds her teeth whenever we get in. I think its hilarious.

We got there in no time. We headed into the restraunt and the hostess told us that the rest of our party was already seated. She lead us to a small table in the very back. Bella was seated in between Lila and Edward. She was coloring the kids menu with Lila and Edward was looking over the adult menu. As we walked over, Edward turned and said something to her. She turned and said something back, but she stopped when she saw us. She smiled, fake and forced. I knew it was fake, I had the same smile.

"Well, well, well, the gangs all here." I grinned down at my little girl.

"Can we be the gang green gang from The Powerpuff Girls?" She asked.

"As long as I don't have to be that little mexican sounding one. He's so annoying." I said, smiling. (no offense to any spanish person out there!! seriously, one of my best friends is spanish!!)

"Can I be the leader? He's my favorite." Bella announced.

"As long as I get to be the big huge fat one. He's awesome." Edward decided.

"Can I be the snaky one?" Lila asked, softly, looking up from her coloring.

"Absolutely, squirt." I chuckled, smoothing out her auburn hair.

"Midget!" Caden cried out, giggling.

"I think Caden wants to be the little one." Anna laughed, lightly.

Bella scowled. "I guess that leaves you to be the deranged one. You'll play the part perfectly."

"Bella." I said, warningly. She huffed and rolled her eyes.

"Don't worry, Mommy's just PMSing." Lila chirped.

"Sweetie, where did you learn that?" Edward chuckled.

"Auntie Rose." She answered, going back to her coloring.

"Well, I don't think I've introduced everyone yet. Bella, Edward, Lila, this is my wife, Anna and your little brother, Caden. Anna, Caden, this is my daughter Bella, her boyfriend Edward and their daughter, Lila." I announced, gesturing around the table. I was next to Lila, Caden was next to me and Anna was next to him and Edward. Bella opened her mouth to say something bitchy I'm sure, when there was a small giggle behind us.

There were about nine girls standing behind us, holding napkins and pens and purses. Edward sighed, softly nd looked around apoligeticly.

"You're Edward Cullen!" A young brunette exclaimed.

"That I am, Ladies." He grinned, standing up.

"Can we have your autograph?" A busty blonde asked.

"Of course," He retorted, taking her napkin. "Can I have your name?"

"Lauren Mallory. But you can call me Baby." She purred. Ew.

"Yes, of course, alright." He mumbled, scribbling something on her napkin. When he was finished, the young brunette bounded over, anxiously.

"I'm Jessica Stanley, you're biggest fan! I went to your concert in Baja, you know, the one where you stage dived in the middle of your first single, Crazy Bitch. I was on the lawn, but I got like five feet from you when you were walking out! Then your drummer pushed me and I fell in the mud in my new dress, so it was totally ruined, but it was all good cause I saw you. Oh my god, I love you!" She babbled. Edward hasily wrote something on her napkin and waved the next girl over.

"Hi, I'm Angela Webber. Sorry about them, they kind of dragged me with them over here. Not that your not a good singer, I'm just more into Country. You know, Tim McGraw, Brad Paisley, Kenny Chesney. I did like that one song though. Iris, right? It was amzing." She said, turning a faint shade of pink.

Edward smiled this time and thanked her, genuinely. He signed a small notbook she had in her purse and she thanked him politely and went to calm "Baby" and "Crazy Bitch" down.