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Forgotten Memories

Summary:
What if in New Moon Jasper had gotten past Bella causing the transformation to start? The transformation causes her to go into cardiac arrest (heart attack) and die. Edward is broken. Jasper is distraught and in his hate for himself leaves Alice, leaving Carlisle and Esme with now 2 barely existing broken hearted children. Now we fast-forward ninety-eight years. Jasper goes to school where he meets someone who looks remarkably like Bella. Her name? Bella Swan, the catch she can't remember anything at all. Can Bella remember? Will she and Edward get back together? Can Alice forgive Jasper? Will Alice and Jasper get back together? Not a Bella/Jasper, Alice/Edward story I swear on Edward Cullen! Please Read! Forgotten Memories


Notes:


4. Pointless

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 924   Review this Chapter

Jasper's Point of View:

I'm a vile disgusting parasite that deserves to die. I killed my wife's best friend. I don't deserve to call her my little sister or call Alice my wife. Everyone in the house is depressed and miserable especially Edward all because I have no self-control ability.

"Alice can I see you outside for a moment?" I asked. The first vocal contact with her in three days and I'm about to make her miserable. That's just peachy. God, I'm disgusting.

A look of confusion crossed her face but she followed me out the screen door and into the middle of the backyard. Every fiber of my being is yelling at me to stop but I have to ignore it.

"Jasper why are we out here? What's wrong? Talk to me please." Alice pleadingly asked me. What's wrong? I killed your best friend. My brother and everyone else is a mess because I killed her. Worst of all I am going to leave you and break your heart.

"Alice listen, first off I'm sorry for what I'm going to say," I started only for a moment because then Alice cut me off. "Stop apologizing please, no one blames you. Please quit pulling away and let me in. I can help." She pleaded, pulling herself closer to me. As she pulled herself closer, I pulled myself farther away from her.

"Alice I'm leaving." I told her and gently pushed her away from me. While she registered the awful thing, I had told her a look of hurt crossed her beautiful, perfect face.

"Wh-wh-what do you mean?" Alice asked obviously fumbling for words. This was something I was careful to change my mind about quickly so she wouldn't see anything and try to stop me.

"You deserve a happy life where you do not have someone messing up ever single second of the day. It's not fair to you for me to say. I'm sorry. I just killed your best friend Alice. Everyone in there is sad and depressed all because of me. It's not fair to you or anyone else for me to stay." I truthfully explained to her.

"I love you and I don't care about the rest. You promised on our wedding day that you would stay forever and ever. You promised!" She escalated her voice with each word so that she was screaming furiously at me. Alice threw her tiny body on mine. Wrapping her arms and legs around me and refusing to let go. She is trying to show me how much she needs me. I want nothing more than to be able to hold onto her and tell her everything is going to be okay and that I love her and I will stay for her. I can't, she needs me gone.

"That was before I completely screwed up your life. Alice I'm not good enough for you, goodbye." I kissed her forehead one more time before carefully setting her down on the ground. She continued to chase me until I got to the end of the yard. I turned around and said "Alice please just let me go. In twenty or thirty years when you're completely happy, you'll thank me. I don't love you anymore." If only she knew how much I'm lying to her.

"You're lying! Jasper don't you dare do this to me, please!" She screamed at me and she started to go faster. Quickly I sent her a wave of feeling slow so she couldn't catch up to me. Normally she could pass me easily.

"Damn it Jasper! Quit making me feel slow!"She continued to scream at me, putting up a hopeless fight for me to stay. I will be leaving Alice cannot stop that.

I stopped and she grabbed onto me once more kissing me passionately to remind me of how much I truly love her. Resisting the tempting urge to kiss her back I pulled away causing a hurt look to cross her face again and my mind to scream at me in agony.

"I will go with you. We can go together. I'll do whatever just do not leave me. I love you. I need you without you I'll fall apart. Please just stay." She pleaded again as she began to dry sob once more. Raindrops began to hit her face making it look like she is crying.

"Alice no, you need to be able to heal without the person who caused all the pain present. Every time I look into your beautiful eyes when you are, sad I feel sadness and despair for killing your best friend and my little sister. Goodbye Mary Alice Brandon Cullen." I told her leaving off my name as to signify that I was leaving her and that we won't be married anymore. Placing her down one more time, I took a final glance at her before running off.

Alice lay there crumpled in a mud puddle repeating, "He's gone, he's gone, he's gone." Was the last thing I heard from her before I got too far to hear her say anything.

Once I was far enough away that she wouldn't find me, I came to a pause. Falling to my knees, I began to dry sob hysterically for Alice the love I had just lost, Bella the sister I had killed, and the family I left. The sobs were mainly for Alice.

I hate my pitiful pointless existence.