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Mute

Summary:

AU. Bella hasn't spoken a word since the accident - 6 years ago. In a bid to start a fresh, her mother sends her to live with her dad in Forks. There she is the freak to the other kids. Apart from the mysterious Edward Cullen, who helps unlock her past.


Notes:
A very different try at a fan fiction for me. I don’t know how this is going to turn out. I’d thought I’d give a go at a more serious fanfic. I hope you like it. Please review if you can. Thank you. Disclaimer: I own nothing.


10. Thursday 6th January 2005 3:37am

Rating 4/5   Word Count 640   Review this Chapter

Chapter 10! Reviews would be ravishing. You hear that ravishing. Please Enjoy! Thanks!

The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone. - Harriet Beecher Stowe

Thursday 6 th January 2005 - 3:37am

Dear Diary,

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. I can’t sleep. It’s way to early to be even considered appropriate morning, but I don’t care. Today, is gonna be tough. If I manage to make it through today, I’ll be able to handle anything. That’s all I need to do. Just tackle today head on. And then everything will be ok. Well not per se ok, but as near enough to ok, as its going to get in this shit hole. I hope.

Last night, was better than I thought. I cried only for a few hours. Charlie didn’t stir once, thankfully. I managed to cry myself to sleep, luckily. Even more luckier, I didn’t dream. Though I’ve only managed about an hour or so of actually deep sleeping. So perhaps that doesn’t count.

I’m absolutely exhausted, but there’s no way I’m gonna fall asleep now. I wouldn’t be able to. And I don’t want to either. They last thing I need is to wake up late, on my first day at school.

What am I going to do? That’s the big question. People are going to find out about me, sooner or later. And more than likely it will be sooner. Well, I’d rather have them, think I was a mute freak at least, than just plain rude. Maybe it would do be better if someone just shouted out through the PDA - if they even have one those here. Then at least they’d be warned. Though as much as I think about it, I reckon they probably already know. Fricking small town gossip.

I can imagine the school, though I’ve never been in my life. It’ll be a cliquey, with all kids sitting at like assigned lunch tables. Everybody will know everybody. Everybody will know everything. Rumours spread quickly and easily. Great. Just great. Sounds like my idea of fun. I means it not even the start of the semester, Ill be a great source of rumour. I may not have a particularly great social life, but I know what other teens are like. Generally - bitchy.

Maybe, in this weird town, I may not be the only freak. I mean that certainly would explain a lot. I may shock horror may even find a friend. Though I very much doubt that. If I couldn’t find my equal in a class of 3000, even with Suzie & David, I sure the hell won’t be able to find one hear. Oh well, so much for dreaming.

If I just keep my head down, maybe, hopefully I will just be ignored. Being ignored was an advantage to being jeered. Whoever said “That sticks & stones can break your bones but words can never hurt you” was wrong. Seriously wrong. I’d take any bash with sticks & stones or whatever else they’ve got than the words of my peers through my middle school years. What that junked up little freshman said the other day, was nothing, to back then.

I’ve restarted my new years resolution. I’m determined not to break it this time, however its proving ever more difficult having to live here. Is it just me or does the weather has some effect on your weather as well?

But I will stop. It’s not right. I know it’s not. But just everything seems to add up & its seems that I have to. I don’t understand. I just do.

My razor is still locked in my suitcase - where it belongs.

No matter how depressed I am diary. No matter how home sick I get. I’m giving this awful addiction up.

Funny, I don’t even believe myself.

Let’s see what today brings.

Yours

Bella