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AU. Bella hasn't spoken a word since the accident - 6 years ago. In a bid to start a fresh, her mother sends her to live with her dad in Forks. There she is the freak to the other kids. Apart from the mysterious Edward Cullen, who helps unlock her past.

A very different try at a fan fiction for me. I don’t know how this is going to turn out. I’d thought I’d give a go at a more serious fanfic. I hope you like it. Please review if you can. Thank you. Disclaimer: I own nothing.

4. Sunday 2nd January 2005 2:42pm

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 585   Review this Chapter

Chapter 5. A little more of an insight, into Bella’s suffering. Reviews would definitely be ever so kind. Thank you.

Motherly love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible. - Marion C. Garretty

Sunday 2nd January 2005 - 2:42pm

Dear Diary,

I’m to leave for Washington on Wednesday, that gives me 3 days. 3 days of what I don’t know. 3 days of happiness would be wishful thinking. 3 days of peace, was all I hoped for.

Mom, spoke constantly of the move. She talked as If I would suddenly turn normal, by changing state. She seemed to get it in her head, that I would become a cheerleader, or class president or on the debate team. A somebody.

Of course to be any of those, I would have to be normal. But it even made me think. Although I hated myself fork doing so. That if I had been normal. If I had came out 6 years ago, as Suzie & David had. If I would have been any of these. I doubted it.

I am extremely accident prone & to clarify myself as being soft or brittle would be no joke. Cheerleader, hardly fitted me. I was no athlete.

Class President perhaps. But then again perhaps not. I hated speeches, even then. I was shy. Not as shy, as I am now. But shy all the same. The same would go for the debate team. Although, I would hae loved to argue issues,. It would have been to much emphasis on me. I couldn’t handle that, even then.

But even this was mere wishful thinking. To be a nobody, but be a normal nobody. For me, the mute freak, would be bliss.

I was sick after breakfast. I made sure to be silent & used the bathroom nearest to my bedroom, furthest away from where my Mom, was in the kitchen. I didn’t inform my Mom, of course. She would worry. She always does. I brushed my teeth erratically just to make sure, that any trace of the scent had gone.

After that I stayed in the bathroom, for over an hour. I ran, a hot shower & stood under it. Although I didn’t wash my hair or body. I just stood under it.

And I cried.

When the water, was starting to turn to a cold fizz. I got out, wrapping myself in my Moms furry dressing gown. I grabbed hold of my pink razor blade, but I didn’t use it. Not in the way I would have done, before. That would be my new years resolution. To stop. To stop my painful addiction. I wonder how long it will last. Hopefully longer than last year. A week.

Mom’s made me lunch. A ham & cheese sandwich I’m not eating it. I still feel sick & she’s used the granary bread, which tastes like bleach. I’ve thrown it in the bin instead. Mom will understand. She usually does.

She told me, that Suzie will be over later on. I hope she isn’t. Suzie’s my best friend & is the only person, besides my Mom, that treats me normal. I don’t want to see her, though. Because I know this is one of the last times, I’ll see her. And I know seeing her, will make me want to stay more.

And that’s the very last thing I need.



Thank you so much, for all the reviews & favourites & alerts & not to mention for merely reading this story. I’m ever so much a happy author. Keep them coming. Thank you. Lion_lovin_lamb