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AU. Bella hasn't spoken a word since the accident - 6 years ago. In a bid to start a fresh, her mother sends her to live with her dad in Forks. There she is the freak to the other kids. Apart from the mysterious Edward Cullen, who helps unlock her past.

A very different try at a fan fiction for me. I don’t know how this is going to turn out. I’d thought I’d give a go at a more serious fanfic. I hope you like it. Please review if you can. Thank you. Disclaimer: I own nothing.

6. Monday 3rd January 2005 5:25pm

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 543   Review this Chapter

Chapter 6. Thanks for reading & thank you so much for the reviews. Keep them coming. Thank you!

A brave man dies but once, a coward many times. - Native American Proverb

Monday 3rd January 2005 - 5:25pm

Dear Diary,

Today, started off as merely boring. More than boring, in fact. It was monotonous. On days, like this, I find it hardest to forget. That’s because of days like this, my mind tends to wander. And end up in the same place, it always does.

I decided to take a walk. Take up as much, sunshine as I could, while I still had the chance. Mom, made me an adventurous pack lunch, an attempt at homemade sushi with a slab of what looked like strawberry cheesecake. I didn’t eat it. It didn’t seem edible. I threw it to the birds, instead.

I ended up in the park. Big mistake. A group of freshman were hanging around, passing around a joint by the swings. I tried to walk past them but they noticed me straight away. The shouted stuff across. I ignored them as much as possible, but in the background I could still here their words. “Freak.” “Speechless Swan.” “Say, something bitch” were among their favourites.

There was a small one, about a head smaller than his friends, who had a particular gob on him. I knew him barely from school, his brothers in my year. His real names Connor, but they call him Con man, for obvious reasons.

“Oi, bitch.” He shouted. And he kept on screaming those words, until I could take it no longer & turned to face him.

“Word around is your being sent away. Loony Bin is it, you freak. That’s what you deserve bitch. Maybe they’ll do you and everyone else favour & you’ll have an accident like friend.” Were his exact words.

I ran all the home and Into my bathroom. Then I reached for my razor blade. The only way to get away from all this misery. I had lasted just over a day. My new years resolution was broken.

I’m lying in my bed now. Waiting for Mom, to return from the shop. She won’t see the fresh cut, it’s hidden under my short leg. She won’t worry. I’ll make sure of it.

I’m writing now to escape, from the memories, that are taking me in. But even now as I write, I can still see Melanie, her dead body, next to me. My hands smothered in her blood. Like a movie, playing in front of my eyes. Only, this movie, has parts cut out of it. Blanks. Parts where it all goes black.

I wish I could remember, just even a little bit. Maybe then I will begin to make peace with myself.

But for now, I want the most, for the world to just swallow me whole. Maybe that boy in the park was right, maybe I would be doing everyone a favour if I were dead.

But I’m too cowardly, to ever go that far. That shows how much of a coward, I really am.



Hope you liked it. Thanks for reading. Reviews will be extremely gratifying. x

Ps: People would like to know, particularly Forever Edwards that I went & deleted the ampersands from this chapter. I know I'm lazy. But I'm getting rehabilitation I swear.