Stranger Then Fiction
Alexandra never thought she would do anything special with her life. She assumed the only way she would get the adventure she desprately wanted was in books, especially Twilight. When Alex sees a shooting star, that all changes and she is thrown into the world she thought was only fiction. Now, Alex is battling a greasy haired Aro who wants nothing more than revenge, keeping a relationship together with her favorite russet brown werewolf, and her penpal, Lor, who just can't seem to leave Rosalie alone. Sometimes, reality can be stranger then fiction. Co-Written with LoveIsACookie
10. Ding Dong, The Wicked Witch is Dead!
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Lorry? Lor, where the hell are you!? Dammit, answer me! Gloria Jennifer Robyn soon to be Call, I swear to God if you don't answer me in one second I will dye all those dresses of yours yellow and pink! UGH! Why the hell aren't you answering me!? Carlisle and Esme are worried sick! Jeez, I can't even look through your eyes since I can sooo not put myself into a coma. Lor, just where are you??! Ugh... Embry is very worried! I don't know how you could do this! I can't believe you're doing this! I'm kind of freaking out since you ARE MY FREAKING DOCTOR!!!
I groaned. I smelled grass. And... mud. I listened to my surroundings, and heard birds chirping. I tried opening my eyes, but they felt too heavy to open. Instead I lay there, not remembering how the hell I got on the ground. I tried to think about it, but it made my head hurt.
Soon, I got up, and made my way through the forest, not thinking about where the hell I was going. It was as if something in my mind was pushing me somewhere. Soon enough, I saw the lights of the place I call home.
"So, you have no idea what happened?"
"Nope. Just remember running past the woods, then it goes black."
I was sitting in my room with Alex. Alice lectured me when I got home, and immediately proceeding to yelling at me. She ended up going to her room, saying ,"Damn, she's back." Everyone just sort of left me alone when I told them I didn't remember. Alex thought I was hiding something, but she didn't say anything about it when I told her I wasn't.
"Huh...." Alex said, and looked out the window. I sighed and got up.
"Well, I'm wondering why you didn't respond to me when I was Kything to you." Alex said, and I shrugged. Just then Eclipse, Alex's cat, came in. It was black with green eyes. It went straight to Alex, and I looked at it curiously. It mewed, and then went away.
"Oh yeah!" Alex said, and I stared at her.
"Talking to the cat again?" I said with a smirk.
"Yes. Now, I forgot all about your party." Alex said, smirking back at me.
"Party?" I asked.
"Yep. The one where only us girls go out and mourn your status as a single woman goodbye." Alex said, and I frowned.
"Shouldn't we be celebrating that?"
"I guess, but that's what weddings are for. And the reception. Also, you are not getting out from wearing a white wedding dress."
I groaned. Alex was hell bent to make my wedding as perfect as it could be. I don't know why though. It was only going to be the family, the pack, Bella's father, and Alec. And then Alice was planning Bella's wedding as well, so everyone was busy with wedding plans.
"Number 1: The wedding is not until four months from now. Number 2: I am not, and I repeat, am not wearing a poofy girly white wedding dress. Number 3: What the hell are we going to do at this party you're planning? It's not like we can eat or drink."
I would immediately regret bringing up that detail in the future, because Alex just grinned and said, "We're all going to be human that night."
"Hey, Lor, which is prettier? The light creamed one or the ivory one?" Alex asked, fussing with the wedding invitations.
"Is there a difference?" I asked.
Alex snorted. "Of course there is. One is cream, the other ivory."
"Hmm... Nice choice."
We were in my room, again. Alex was on my bed, while I was on the only remaining piece of the couch set I had.
"So, who's walking you down the aisle?" Alex asked, looking at the guest list again.
"I dunno... Maybe Alec?" I said, not particularly thinking about it.
"Alec? Are you serious? You're gonna walk down the aisle with emo boy? How about Dad?" She said, scrunching up her face.
"Carlisle? I don't think I should really ask him."
"Why not?" Alex asked, and I sighed.
"I dunno. I mean, he's nice and all. But, Alec has been there for me a lot longer than he has. Besides, why the hell do I need someone to walk me down the aisle?"
"You get walked down the aisle by your father to sort of hand you off for marriage. Besides, Dad has been there for you a lot longer than Alec." She said, "Why do you still call Mom and Dad by their first names?"
I shrugged. "What else would I call them?"
"Umm. I dunno. Maybe mom and dad?" Alex said with sarcasm in her voice.
"Do they want me too?" I asked. Alex looked at me as if I were stupid.
"You are like, one of their kids." Alex said as she wrote down the information on the cards. With the way she was handling everything, you would think she was a vampire.
"Are they...upset that I don't?"
"Mom... She knows you as a daughter, and I guess is willing to give you time. Dad though feels at fault for you going to Volterra and all. He thinks if he had forced you to stay home, it would've come out way different." She said shrugging. She looked up from whatever she was working on. "Lor, it would mean a lot to them, if you did this."
I snorted. "And you know this how?"
"Well," Alex looked uncomfortable. "I'm going to be a mother and I just think about how much I would hate it if my girls called me by my first name. And-and I was adopted."
My mouth fell open. "You never said-"
"No, I didn't. I'm sorry." Alex said, and I could tell she meant it. "It would mean a lot to Dad if you just let him walk you down the aisle."
"Okay, fine. And you should be on bed rest you know." Alice ran into the room.
"The Volturi-they're going to attack in five minutes!" She said, and everything went black again.
"The Volturi-they're going to attack in five minutes!" Alice said, and a cold fear struck inside of me. The Volturi-they could use me in more ways then one. I could control the elements-even time, though I keep that element to myself. I can talk to and turn into animals (in other words, change my appearance). Recently, I found that I could turn invisible, even pop to different places (though because I got these when I'm pregnant, I think that they're just Luna and Dawn's future powers, but I could be wrong). And, now, if I didn't hand myself over, the Volturi would come and kill my family. Suddenly, Lor jumped up and growled.
"Lor, it's okay. We'll fight them. They can't hurt us."
"Oh, but Alexandra, its not them I want to hurt. It's you." Lor snarled, and jumped out the window, breaking it in the process. Alice stepped in front of me, saving me from the glass.
"Lor, what's wrong with you-" I said, horrified. Alice snarled, and mumbled, "You guys never listen to me!"
We both ran downstairs, to find everyone in the room, aside from Edward and Bella. Those two were in Phoenix. Good thing too, seeing how Bella's wedding was in a month, and her being human, etc.
"Alice, Alex! What broke?" Esme asked, and Alice grimaced.
"Lor jumped ship. And switched teams." She said, and Emmett look confused.
"You mean, she left the house to become a lesbian?" He said, and Rose slapped him upside the head.
"Emmett, no. Lor has left, and apparently joined Aro. She wants to kill Alex." She said, and I frowned. What would make her do this?!
"Whoa. Looks like her sucking your blood was true in a way..." Emmett mumbled, and Rose looked pissed. I glared at Emmett.
"We trusted her!" She growled out, and Mom looked horrified. Dad had his back to us, and Jasper was dealing with all the emotions.
"We... Need to get our defenses up." Jasper croaked out, and Alice went to him.
"So, we're fighting?" Emmett asked, cracking knuckles.
"If Aro seeks Alex, then yes. Even if it means... We fight Lor." Dad said, and everyone looked at him surprised. Esme was sobbing, and that's all that was heard.
"I'm coming with." I said, and the family looked at me as if I were crazy.
"No. You're staying here with Esme and Alice." Carlisle said, while Alice scowled. She wanted to fight with the others.
I was about to argue, when I had an idea. "Fine" I said, and sat down on the couch.
Everyone went outside, and I excused myself to my room. I heard voices, and knew it was starting. Soon, sounds like lightening was heard. I waited for at least 30 minutes, seeing how they checked up on me every 5 minutes. Soon, it stopped, and I went invisible.
I thought about what Lor had said to me. Why would she do what she did? There had to be an explanation behind it. I thought back to when she disappeared for a while, to Carol. Carol. She had to have done something. I mean, Lor would never join the Volturi willingly and aware of her past. I growled. Those bastards had something to do with it.
I stopped time, and instantly everyone froze where they were. I jumped up and ran outside. I wanted nothing more then to rip most of the Volturi's bodies apart the old fashioned way, but I had to take precautions. Mainly, the fact that I'm human and that I'm pregnant, so that means I have to cheat a bit to make sure I didn't end getting myself killed.
I passed the fight, and was glad it would all end soon. On the way to Aro's greasy royal bastard self, I saw Jasper and Lor fighting. I shuddered.
There, in the clearing where I was kidnapped, sat Aro. Yes, sat. He had set up a throne, where he held a glass jar full of money with a piece of masking tape on it that said, "SWEAR JAR". I giggled. Aro had a swear jar?
I shook my head and turned to the vampires surrounding him. Aro, Marcus, Felix, Demetri, and Carol weren't fighting. Alec was there, and appeared to be arguing with Aro. Hm. Maybe emo boy isn't that bad. I snorted. Lor has been rubbing off on me. I concentrated and everyone but Alec went up in flames. I set time back to normal, and all of the guard members rushed to the smoke, wondering what had happened.
"Okay, how many of you want to follow these dumbass bastards to the grave?" I said. They all shook their heads fervently, and Alec came up to me.
"How'd you do that?" He asked. "One second, you weren't here and Aro was fine. The next-" He shook his head.
"Magic." I told him, smirking a bit. It was kind of funny seeing the surprised expression on his face.
"Who's going to be the leader of the Volturi now?" He asked.
"You." I said, the idea sprouting in my mind.
"Me?" He asked. I nodded.
"You've got a lot of work to do, and I've got to get back home." I focused, and popped back to the house.
I "landed" in the living room, and Esme screamed.
"Alexandra Rider Cullen!" Was all she said before she broke down in sobs. I sighed.
"I'm alright mom. See? Perfectly normal." I said, and Emmett grinned weakly and added, "And pregnant."
"Where's Lor?" I asked, and everyone looked at me as if I were crazy.
"What? Where is she?" I asked, and Jasper stepped up.
"In her room. She blacked out when I was fighting her." He said, and I grinned. She should be back to normal then.
"I don't know why we don't light a bonfire." Alice mumbled, and I ran upstairs after glaring at Alice. I went into Lor's room, where she lay on the ground, unconscious.
I poked her. "Lor? Are you okay?" I asked.
She moaned in her sleep. "Embry?" She asked.
"Noo. Alex." I said, and she sat straight up.
"Holy. Shit. I'm going to kill that bitch." She said, getting up. I pushed her back down, seeing how she was a bit wobbly.
"I already did. I also killed Aro, Felix, Demitri, and Marcus while I was at it."
"You're kidding. You're a pregnant human, how did you do it?" She asked. I shrugged.
"Who's leading the Volturi now?" She asked, her eyes bugging out.
"Alec." I said, throwing a phone at her. "Give him a call, he'd like to talk to you."
"Alec?" I said into the phone, and I heard Jane say something in the background. I was so pissed off. Not only did Carol get my ass again, she took over my body.
"Yes? Also, I prefer Royal Head Alec." He said, laughing.
"Dumbass." I said, grinning a bit.
"Well, you are talking to the new head of the Volturi."
"Yeah, a dumb one at that."
"I'm offended. That means you're going to have to have a trial for offending me."
"I'll be sure to mark it in my calendar."
Alec laughed, and I laughed weakly.
"Well, I have to go. The Romanians will catch sniff of this and most likely plan something." He said, serious. I sighed, and knew he was right.
"Right. Okay, talk to you later." I said, and closed the phone. Alex just looked happy.
"Are you slaphappy or something?" I asked, and she grinned.
"The bitch and the royal dumbass are dead. What is there not to love about it?" She said, and I laughed.
"Right..." I said, and went downstairs with her, only to trip on what seemed to be a rubber ducky on the steps. I flew to the ground, and hit my head so damn hard. I'm sure the floor was dented.
I froze, and blinked a few times. Oh. My. God.
"Lor, are you ok?!" I said, running down the steps as fast as I could. God. Only Lor could be clumsy as a vampire. Everyone rushed in, and Lor moaned. Then she froze, and blinked a few times. I could see something happened.
"Lor, you ok?" I asked, and she nodded slowly, still thinking hard.
"Umm... I think." She said, and I raised an eyebrow. Dad helped her up, and she looked around. Mom looked at her worried, and everyone else was looking at her like she was a weirdo.
"Hmm... I beat Emmett and Jasper at fighting?" She said, and smirked, "Well, I knew I was a badass and all, but damn! And, Alice, you aren't the nicest to amnesiacs. I mean, we forget things before the accident, not after. Which means you shouldn't be that fucking mean to us amnesiacs. Also, Dad, care to walk me down the aisle?"
My mouth popped open as I realized what happened. Lor got her memory back.
- When you wish upon a star....
- Hairdye, a smug Alex, and a failed prank
- A key, a jackhammer, an axe, and Rose's car
- The Royal Greasy Haired Dumb...butts.
- Her Royal Highness, The Dumb Butt
- Alexandra The Great To The Rescue
- What the Hell?
- ....Uh, that's so...S'Wonderful
- The dumbasses return
- Ding Dong, The Wicked Witch is Dead!
- Within Temptation
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