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A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes

Summary:
Jacob stops Bella from cliff diving. Alice never sees it, Rosalie doesn't call Edward. Edward decides to come back anyway, to check on Bella. What will he hear when he listens in on her sleep-talk? Will he reveal himself to Bella?


Notes:
Obviously, if this was of my creation, I would be famous. And I'm not. So, no, I don't own anything.


1. Preface: EPOV: Decision

Rating 5/5   Word Count 519   Review this Chapter

I slid through the crush of people. I was such a waste. I didn’t even deserve to be alive. All I was trying to do was protect Bella, but I couldn’t even accomplish that. Victoria had made it past me. I had left Bella vulnerable in Forks. I failed my only goal. Why? Because I am a failure. A waste of space. Useless. I didn’t deserve love from my family, or anyone for that matter. Especially Bella. I never could understand how she loved me.

Had she moved on, as I wanted her to? She couldn’t still be miserable. She simply couldn’t. Human minds fixed all things over time. She had probably forgotten me by now. I was a distant memory, a memory from her personal dark ages before she saw the light and got a boyfriend who is part of her own species. Pain shot through my torso as I thought of Bella with another man. However, as long as she was happy, nothing else mattered. As long as she was safe. As long as she had moved on.

The evil voice in my head told me that she probably hadn’t moved on, that this was a pointless decision for both of us. I tried to block those thoughts out, but it wasn’t working. I found myself doubting whether I could stay away. What if she was unhappy? And what if I was the cause of the unhappiness? Could she forgive me? No. Such a beautiful creature as her could never forgive someone as horrible as me.

This is stupid, I told myself. You promised you would stay away. Don’t go back on your word. She’s better off without you. You know she is. She’s safer, and happier, and human.

But I could go back. I could check on my Bella. No, she isn’t my Bella anymore. She’s just Bella. Not mine. I am no part of her world. Her happy, safe, vampire-free world. I need to check on her. Make sure she is living in a happy, safe vampire-free world. Because, above all, she needs to live out the rest of her human life in happiness.

If she is happy, as I suspect she is, despite Alice’s best attempts to make me think otherwise, I can stay away. And if she is unhappy… I didn’t even want to think about it. She is happy. Anyone would be happy without me ruining their life. Bella should appreciate the fact that I was gone from her life. She should appreciate my sacrifice. I sacrificed myself, my whole being, so that she could live her normal human life.

I would stay away from her in Forks. Watch her from afar. Listen to her sleep-talk. The minute I made sure she was happy and safe, I would leave again. After all, it was only my pain. I deserve the pain. I was a failure. A soulless monster. A murderer. And I would take any amount of pain to make sure Bella could live. Seeing her and leaving yet again would be so painful. But I will go back. Just to check in…