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Set during New Moon. After the cliff diving incident, Bella was changed into a vampire and was kept in the dark for months. She doesn't remember anything from her human life and she became Victoria's precious pet who does all her biddings. What Bella doesn't know is that there's a bigger plan that involves killing each of the Cullens. Isn't revenge sweet?


9. Instinct

Rating 5/5   Word Count 3381   Review this Chapter

Chapter 9: Instinct


I let myself drown in the different melodies of Debussy. It was the only way I could pull myself away from this cruel reality. The different thoughts in the house weren’t helping. I tried tuning them out but they seem to get louder each time. I turned the volume of the speakers as loud as I could get it to go. I sighed and closed my eyes.

Their thoughts and mine were filled with the possibility that Bella could still be out there. But, where was she? She didn’t leave any trace behind. Did she not want to be found? Emmett said she didn’t recognize him at all. Did she block us from her thoughts too much that she couldn’t remember us at all?

I opened my eyes to look at the ceiling. I traced the pattern with my finger in midair. My days were usually spent like this. I lie down on my couch with music blaring from the speakers. I couldn’t leave my room without being asked where I was going. I couldn’t blame them. The day I found out that Bella jumped off a cliff was the day I headed to Volterra. I pleaded to the brothers to end my life but they found my gift too precious to go to waste. Alice, of course, saw my decision and had Carlisle fly to Italy with her to stop me. Since, that day, I was never able to look at Carlisle or anyone else straight in their eye. I was too ashamed of myself.

I shook the painful memory away from my head. Instead, I filled my head with memories of her. I missed everything about her. Her eyes, Her smile, her laugh, her scent. Oh, her sweet scent. What I would give just to be able to smell her sweet scent again. The smell of freesia and strawbe−

Well, dead but a vampire.

I growled. It was still hard to accept that Bella was a vampire. It was my fault. I was the reason she was like that. If I haven’t left her, none of this would be happening.

Jasper apologized and I heard Emmett smirk.

I sighed. I shouldn’t be getting mad at him for bringing it up. He couldn’t help it after all. He wasn’t the only one thinking about it. Everybody in the house was. I should be the one apologizing to him. He’s been suffering along with me because of my mistake. He still blames himself for what happened. I didn’t blame him though. It wasn’t him who left. It wasn’t him who broke her heart. It wasn’t him who lied.

I stood up from my couch and walked towards the CD player. I stopped the CD that was playing. I should at least go down there and apologize.

You should forgive yourself too, Edward.

I opened my door and headed towards Alice’s room. I was about to knock on her door, when it opened. I felt her arms go around me and pulled me in for a hug as I stood there.

I’m glad you finally came to your senses. Alice thought as she let go of me and looked me in the eye.

I looked away. I couldn’t look at her straight in the eye. I fidgeted while she held me there. I was about to answer her but I heard Jasper throwing the controller and running outside leaving a fuming Emmett in the living room.

I’m positive that something or someone is watching us. Jasper kept thinking to himself.

I frowned at his thought. Somebody couldn’t have been out there. I didn’t hear anyone else’s thoughts but ours. Surely, Alice would’ve seen someone coming.

“Show your self” he demanded.

“I know you’re out there. There’s no point in hiding” he said to no one in particular.

Alice and I looked at each other puzzled and we both got out of the house almost at the same speed. The rest of the family came out one by one as Jasper stood there in front of us.

There’s only one person I know whose mind he couldn’t read.

I froze. It can’t be. Can it? Is it possible?

Alice gasped and I stood there rooted to the spot as she had a vision of a woman walking towards us. Everything about her was blurry. We couldn’t see her face clearly. Then, the vision changed to all of us running and then being thrown against the trees and the forest floor one by one.

“It… It can’t be” she said shocked.

“What is it, Alice?” I heard Jasper ask.

The vision stopped and Alice pointed forward.

“Bella” she whispered.

There she was. My Bella. She jumped down gracefully to the ground and slowly stood up. She walked towards us at a slow human pace. For that moment, I didn’t see anything else but her. I could hear the different thoughts of my family but they started to sound muffled as she continued to walk towards us. Towards me. She was almost the same as when I… when I left. Her hair, her lips, her nose, her eyes. Her eyes. My heart dropped as I looked at her eyes. They were no longer the chocolate brown orbs I loved getting lost into. They were a deeper shade of crimson. Bloody red eyes. It reveals what kind of diet she has. That was when I took the rest of her in. Her skin was paler than it used to be. The look in her eyes was glazed and blank. They were focused on Jasper but they were empty. They weren’t the same as before. They weren’t filled with curiosity. She had a sly smile playing at the ends of her lips. Her dress was torn on the side, just like Emmett said. I could almost hear him saying I-told-you-so.

And then she stopped.

She broke her gaze away from Jasper’s and started looking at each of us. She tilted her head to the side slightly, like a curious child, as she took us in one by one. And then, her gaze landed on me. I wanted to run to her and hold her in my arms again. I wanted to fall down on my knees and ask for her forgiveness. It doesn’t matter if it would take her an eternity to forgive me. I felt the pain that started tugging on my chest as she just looked at me. She doesn’t remember. She doesn’t know me. I looked her straight in the eye. I didn’t care if pain was evident in my voice or in my face. I had to know.

“Bella” I whispered.


“Bella” he whispered.

It was him. It was his voice that I’ve been hearing. It was the same velvety voice that had been haunting me. I felt the familiar pain on my chest slowly rising. The hole was opening up again. I quickly ignored it and replaced it with the numbness I was so used to bringing up. My eyes flickered to the empath. I watched in horror as I saw him clutch his chest and sank to his knees.

No. That wasn’t supposed to happen. He wasn’t supposed to feel that. I didn’t know what I to do and I panicked.

Run! I told myself.

I ran. I ran away from them. That wasn’t part of the plan. I was just gonna provoke one of them and let them chase me. I just wanted a little game. Nothing but a game. That was what it was supposed to be. A game. Nobody was supposed to get hurt. Victoria will kill me if she finds out what happened. I wasn’t supposed to get tracked in the first place.

“Bella! Wait!” I heard somebody call from behind.

I didn’t look back to see who it was. I kept running. I felt the pain on my chest rising again, this time taking its place and threatening to open up the hole I’ve tried to close so many times. I collapsed into the forest floor as I put my arms around myself trying to hold myself together. Why was I feeling this way now? I had so many questions I wanted to ask them. But, now was not the right time to do that. Not with all of them out there.


The voice called out again. He was nearer this time. He stopped a few feet away from me. I looked up to see the big burly vampire looking down at me with worry in his eyes. He held out his hand as he slowly approached me.

“Bella… It’s okay… It’s me… Emmett” he said.

I snickered at him. As if he hasn’t introduced himself already. He looked at me confused. I heard a shuffle from behind him and I was on a defensive crouch immediately. I’ve never seen them in combat before. I don’t know how strong they were. I snarled on instinct. I watched with wary eyes as the two other men of their coven move forward. Carlisle had a worried look on his face and Edward’s face was pained. Jasper wasn’t with them. I wonder what happened. I stopped my thoughts there. Why was I worrying over somebody I didn’t even know? I shook off my worries away and focused at the problem.

Play around with them. Confuse them. Threaten them. Do whatever it takes for them not to track you down.

I heard Victoria’s words playing in my head. I could do that. Maybe they would stop following me. They have to stop following me. I looked at Emmett’s hand. It was still outstretched for me to take. I didn’t want to do it but I had to. I slowly moved forward and put my hand on his. He was about to pull me towards him but my instinct took over.

“What the −”

I grabbed his hand with both of my hands and flipped him on his back. His back hit the forest floor. I pulled on his arm as I put one foot on his chest.

“I told you not to follow me” I said and kicked him on his side. Instinct was over powering me. The force was so strong that he hit and broke one of the trees in half. I heard him groan as he tried to sit up.

I turned to face the other two vampires. They were both looking at me wide-eyed. I decided then that I couldn’t let them go without threatening them. I moved as fast as I could and hit Carlisle on the stomach. He fell down on his knees as he clutched his stomach. Before Edward even had time to react, I was behind him and I kicked him in the back. I watched him fall face down on the forest floor.

I looked at the three of them groaning in pain.

“I told you once, and I’ll tell you again. Do not follow me” I said to him firmly.

The pain on my chest tugged as I watched the three of them groaning. I didn’t understand why I was feeling that way. I’ve never felt this way before about anybody. I haven’t worried about anyone before. Hell, I never even worried about myself. I shrugged the thoughts off and ran. They’ll be fine. I didn’t do any damage to them after all. They should be fine. They were vampires after all.

I ran until I heard the rushing sound of water flowing. The sound of the river always calms me down. It helps me think. My body tensed as I heard somebody gasping for air. I moved through the trees slowly to get a better look at the person. It was the empath.

Jasper was trying to sit himself up. After a few tries, he finally got successful. He continued to breathe heavily as if his life depended on it. He sat there quietly. I hid myself behind an oak tree. I sat down quietly and pulled my knees to my shoulder. I lowered my head in between my knees and listened. His breaths were still heavy but it was slowly getting even.

I made sure that all my emotions were intact. I felt bad for him. He must have felt all the pain in that one moment. I frowned at that thought. What was wrong with me? Why was I worrying over these vampires?

I looked back to see Jasper still sitting with his eyes closed. His breaths were getting more even now. It looked like he was meditating. I could take the pain away from him but he would get suspicious if it suddenly goes away. I don’t want to hurt him anymore. He’s already hurt as it is.

I could make my presence known to him. Maybe I could use this chance to ask him my questions. There was nobody around. It was just him and me. He might hesitate but I could at least try and I felt the need to take the pain away. Maybe he could clear my mind. Maybe the pain would go away if I get my answers.

It seems like the whole coven knew about me. I played the events of that afternoon over and over again in my head. They were all shocked to see me though. I guess I made a good move at making quick decisions. The psychic didn’t see me coming at all. I didn’t have any problems with the mind reader either. But then their looks became a mixture of pain and worry. Maybe they confused me with someone else. I was getting agitated with my own questions. I was so confused.

If he doesn’t answer my questions, then it would be a wasted effort. I could always try that big burly vampire. That was, if he would forgive me for throwing him against the trees. I shuddered at the memory.

After a few hours of contemplating, I finally made a decision. I stood up quietly from my spot and took another peak at Jasper. I will ask him. I need to know. He was lying down on his back looking at the night sky. His breaths were even now and it looked like he had calmed down. I watched him as he just lied down there. I bit my lower lip as I watched his body tensed. Of course, his instinct would be able to sense me. He was the only one who ever sensed me near their house.

I stepped out of my hiding place and moved one step. A twig snapped beneath my feet and he quickly turned around. He didn’t put on a defensive crouch. Instead, he observed my face. I looked down the ground and stared at my feet.

“I’m sorry” I whispered. I had to start somewhere. At least, he would know that I wasn’t going to do anything. I did feel bad for him feeling my pain. I quickly remembered the tugging pain in my chest and I extended my shield to him. I took the dark light that was gathering in his chest and breathed in deeply. Jasper gasped as I felt the jabbing pain hit me in the chest. I quickly replaced it with the numbness. Then, it was gone.

Jasper looked at me startled.

“How… What…?” His questions never fully coming out.

I looked up to meet his questioning gaze. I gave him a small smile. He gave me a small smile in return.

“Bella…” he started.

“I’m sorry you had to suffer that kind of pain. I forgot for a full second that there was an empath present” I said looking away again.

He shook his head slowly.

“You seem to have forgotten that too when you were watching me and Emmett” he said knowingly.

I nodded slightly. He took one step towards me and I took a step back. I raised my right hand slightly to stop him.

“Please. Don’t. It would be better if you don’t come any closer” I said looking him in the eye this time.

He nodded and sighed. He didn’t question why.

“I… I just…” I didn’t know what to say to him in that moment. I wanted to apologize. I wanted to question him.

“You don’t remember us, huh?” he asked I stood there.

“No. I don’t. Everything is so confusing” I said honestly.

“Then ask me questions so you could clear your head. I could feel the confusion coming from you” he said.

I widened my eyes at the realization that I had let my guard down.

“Sorry” I said again and snapped back the shield.

“How do you keep doing that?” he asked curious.

“Do what?”

“Take the emotion away. For the past few days, I just kept getting pinches of your emotions. Most of the time, it felt like nobody was there. Right now, it doesn’t feel like you’re standing there at all” he said.

“Oh. I just have my shield up by nature. I learn to control my emotions because I was trainr10;” I stopped there. I couldn’t reveal anything about myself.

“You were trained to control your emotions?” he raised an eyebrow.

Well, there was no way around it now.

“Um… Yeah… The pain you felt earlier, when I first felt it, it scared the hell out of me. I was literally convulsing in the middle of the ground for no apparent reason. I knew I had to find a way to control it. Over time, I learned how to do it. I could take it away in a fraction of a second without any problem.

“Does it happen often?”

“It used to. It always happened around this time of the year. I don’t know why. Somebody told me, I must’ve had it when I was human and the pain was doubled when I was changed” I shrugged.

Jasper’s expression changed to a pained one. He didn’t look at me again. He gazed at the river in front of us.

“I’m sorry you had to endure that kind of pain” he mumbled softly.

I looked at him puzzled.

“What do you mean?”

“My family knew you when you were human. In fact, we were so close you were almost part of the family. But then, I lost control when you got a small cut and I almost killed you. We left because we were a danger to you. We left because of my mistake” He paused to look at me. “Will you ever forgive me, Bella?”

It seemed like he had been carrying this burden for years. I didn’t know what he was talking about and he was confusing me more. They knew me when I was human? My instincts were right. And he said I was almost part of his family. But how was that possible? A human amongst vampires? Impossible.

“I don’t what to say. I mean, I don’t remember anything at all from my human life. Maybe you have the wrong person. Maybe I’m not the same Bella that you’re talking about” I had to make sure that I was that same person he was talking about.

He shook his head.

“You’re the Bella we know. The only one. Everything about you was the same as before except for your eyes. Well, that and your clumsiness is gone” he chuckled slightly.

“How long have you been a vampire?” he asked.

“About two and a half years”

His eyes widened at my response.

“It wasn’t even that long after we left” he said to himself.

I bit my lower lip as I watched him. He caught me looking at him and smiled at me again.

“Well, it seems like you still have the same habits” he gestured towards me biting my lip.

“Oh” I said and pressed my lips together.

“How was it that you said I was almost part of your family? Didn’t you say that I was human back then?”

“Well…” he paused for a few seconds and then looked at me.

“You and Edward were together” he said simply.

Wait. Together?

“As in together together?”

He nodded amused at my question.

“Together together. You were both in a romantic relationship” he said firmly.

“But… Is that even possible? For a vampire and a human? I asked.

“I guess it was. You two were meant for each other. Even when you were human, Edward couldn’t read your mind. Out of all the people in the world, there was one mind he couldn’t read. It’s destiny I guess” he shrugged again.

I tore my gaze away from him and looked forward. This was a lot to take in but it all made sense. These questions would do for now. There’s still time to ask him after today. I need to put my head together so that I could get all my questions answered. I still had three days left to observe the Cullens. Three days.