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Fear and Fantasy

Summary:
There is no doubting how much Edward yearns for Bella. There is also no way of doubing the struggle he is going through to give into his desires while not killing her. This is the telling of their first night together on Isle Esme told from Edwards point of view. It starts from when they first get to the island. Please note that it is rated adult for a reason


Notes:
I have never written any kind of story before so please be kind. And as much as I would love to take credit for the characters and the story line, those honours go to Stephenie Meyer.


2. Chapter 2

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 1739   Review this Chapter

We walked deeper into the water, until the water was halfway up my chest and Bella’s shoulders were just breaking the surface. I didn’t look at her while we walked out. I was still trying to come to grips with what was ahead of me and the promise I had made to her. Just let us try…only try. Her words repeated over and over in my head, the night we made the compromise that led to this very moment; Bella as my wife, and I as her husband, trying to satisfy her human desire without hurting her.

I kept walking, holding her hand and letting my mind calculate until there was a very slight pull from behind me. I turned around to see Bella standing there, stopped where she was and looking at me with pain in her eyes. It was not the pain of injury, but the pain of understanding why my mind was so far away. Pain of knowing what I was going through to make her happy and the pain of knowing that I was scared.

We didn’t say a word. We just stood in front of each other and stared into one another’s eyes. We were trying to resolve the unspoken conflict between us, examining the other’s expression. I knew what Bella would see in my face; fear, nervousness, uncertainty, doubt and love. Above all she would see love, but love tainted with the worry for her safety.

Bella, every so calmly and with a certainty that shocked me, closed the distance between us yet again, her eyes never leaving my gaze, taking both of my arms and wrapping them around her waist, and lightly put her hands on either side of my face. Her thumb gently slid across my bottom lip, uncontrollably making my mouth open slightly. She proceeded to trace the line of my cheekbone and then the slight circles under my eyes. Her hands continued up through my hair, down the back of my head, around my neck and stopped to rest on my cold chest.

With our bodies pressed together, I could feel her heart beating against her chest. She was not nervous or anxious, her heart did not race. It kept the same beat as it did when she slept, completely relaxed and in control. Bella, for once, was in more control of her emotions then I was.

She moved her hands back up and wrapped them around my neck. She was trying to pull herself up so that our eyes were at the same level. My arms still around her waist simply lifted her up as she wrapped her legs around my body.

“I love you,” she insisted in a shallow and delicate tone, ever so gently moving her face closer to mine, so that our lips were almost touching. I could taste her breath on my tongue. I was losing my control. I wanted so badly to crush my lips against hers and to pull her naked body against mine even tighter.

She pulled her hands around to cup both sides of my face and she stared with a deep longing into my eyes.

“I have never wanted or could ever conceivably want anything more than I want you. You are my entire life. My every desire, every longing and my every wish revolves solely around you. You are my heart. You are my everything, Edward.”

And with those words, the most amazingly passionate words she has ever said to me, my anxiety ebbed and I realized just how much I wanted and needed her as well.

Our faces were still so very close to each other’s, that all Bella had to do was push out her lips and they were on mine. Her lips were very soft and tender, and moved very slowly against mine. Our kiss was not rushed or chaotic, it was very sweet, but incredibly deep and passionate. Our lips moved and pressed against each other, over and over again and I could feel her warm tongue gently peek out and glide along my lower lip. She slid her hand around my neck to secure herself to me as tightly as possible.

What I wouldn’t give to be able to part my lips, open my mouth and taste her tongue, to have mine moving against hers and discover the inside of her mouth. To be able to deepen our kiss and be even closer and more passionate with her. But the venom, my razor sharp teeth, I had to at least keep that danger away from her.

I slid my right hand up her spine, very slowly. Her body quivered under my touch and her breath intensified and quickened. Once my fingers were at the top of her bare back, I wrapped my hand around the back of her neck and pulled her deeper into our embrace. By now, our lips were crashing together and our bodies started to rub against each other with the intensity of our kiss. I could feel Bella’s body pressing against mine, rocking upwards and closer into me with each movement of her lips. Her grinding and excitement only turned me on even more and I could feel my body reacting to her movements.

I couldn’t even pull my lips away to let Bella catch her breath, I couldn’t be apart from her for even the slightest part of a second. Every inch of my body was pulsing with excitement and a deep craving.

Bella moved her lips away from my mouth, letting out a quick gush of air as she was trying to catch her breath. My lips instinctively went after hers, not wanting to be apart, but landed on her jaw. I kissed along her chin and down the front of her throat, lightly letting my tongue trail the path on the way down, right to her sweet spot at the bottom of her neck, never letting my lips leave her irresistible skin.

A slight moan surprisingly escaped Bella’s mouth, as she buried her face into the side of my neck.

“Now,” she whimpered, between breaths, into my ear. “I want you. Right now”. I kissed my way back up the side of her neck, feeling the blood pumping in the veins underneath her skin and found her eager lips once more. With one final, earth shattering, bone melting kiss, I secured my arms around her and ran out of the water. I was at the door to Esme’s house before our kiss ended and Bella noticed that we were no longer in the water.

“Well, someone’s eager,” she nervously snickered against my lips, kissing me lightly. “Bella” I whispered , not removing my mouth from hers, “who wouldn’t be eager to be with you?”

I walked us slowly through the French doors, across the room and went straight to the bed that was waiting for us. I walked to the side and bent over the edge of the bed, laying Bella on her back.

Her legs and arms were still wrapped around my body tightly and she was reluctant to let them go. Her legs slowly fell from my waist, as I cautiously let her pull me down on top of her. I braced my right hand beside her head as not to put too much pressure on her delicate, naked body. My left hand was still wrapped around her back and ribcage, supporting her but also making sure there was no space between us. Once her back was on the bed, I let my left hand slid up the side of her body. Both my hands were beside her head when Bella wrapped her legs around mine.

We stayed there, our naked bodies tangled up together, lost in the moment. Our bodies were reacting to each other’s slightest movement, as if we were somehow connected to each other. I knew that she was ready, just as clearly as she could feel my readiness pressed against her.

I removed my lips from hers, very reluctantly, reaching both my hands up to push back her hair from her face. Our foreheads rested against one another’s while we tried to catch our breath. I removed my eyes from hers to look at her body. My eyes followed the path of my left hand as it traced down her.

I slowly started tracing my fingers and my gaze across her slight neck. My hand seemed to have a mind of its own. My fingers lightly tickled across her collarbone, down the centre of her chest, timidly moving over her left breast.

She was shaking, only slightly. She was whispering out soft, shallow breaths. I could feel her gaze on my face, watching my every reaction.

My hands continued down the side of her ribcage and fluttered over her stomach. Once they got to her hips, Bella wiggled a little, putting our hips the tiniest bit closer together. I had to grasp her hipbone tight to stop her. She was turning me on too much for her own good. I had to pace myself before I lost control and possibly threw myself on her too carelessly. I’m sure that Bella wouldn’t have minded. I’m fairly certain that that was her plan. But hurting her was not an option.

I looked up at her with a mischievous smile, letting her know that I knew what she was doing. She was staring back at me with hunger in her eyes, biting her bottom lip.

She pulled my face back to hers and crashed her lips against mine. I was sure that it was too much pressure, that it would be painful for her to be kissing this intensely, but she clearly wanted more.

My hand traced back up her body and stopped when I reached her angelic face. I pulled my face back to look at her as I softly cupped my hand against the side of her jaw and ran my thumb across her full bottom lip and her warm, blushing cheek.

This is it, I thought. Just keep her safe!

I looked down at her, questioning her with my eyes. She knew exactly what I was asking her.

She stared deeply back and without a word, she nodded ‘yes’.