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The Changing: A Different World

Summary:
After Edward leaves Bella in the forest in New Moon, she falls asleep after trying to find him and wakes up in a room. She doesn't recognize where she is, and when she finds out, she thinks she has gone mental. She is in a completely different world, yet, with the same people she knew in Forks. Including a certain family she once thought to be part of. The changing Banner made by the amazingly talented Anne Cullen, thanks!


Notes:
Well, I really like this story. I think it's my best yet. And I think you'll like it. Disclaimer : Sadly, I own nothing, all is owned by Stephenie Meyer and everyone who helped created the wonderfull Twilight Saga. But thank you to Stephenie for letting us use our imagination and "abuse" your characters some for our own entertainment. And also a big thanks to my friend and personal beta devilsgenie, who has been wonderful and very patient with me. So, thank you very very much!


3. Chapter 3: Shopping Time

Rating 3.6/5   Word Count 3524   Review this Chapter

Chapter 3: Shopping Time

Something was happening to me, something bad, and yet, all I wanted, all I needed was for him to be with me, comfort me and tell me everything would be okay. If that would happen, I would be okay; I would be able to handle it. But that was never going to happen and I knew it, so I wasn't okay. Nothing was okay as I sobbed into my lap. Nothing would ever be okay again.

***

Cuz I`m losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I`m fine
Losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I`m fine

Last Resort by Papa Roach

***

Eventually, sleep prevailed over my desperate resolution to stay awake, once again, and I fell into a deep slumber - nightmare free, this time. I was grateful no more nightmares came; or whatever that was, I had no idea. During my second sleep, my mind was numb, my feelings shut off - it was a hollow feeling, though. Even asleep, it didn't feel right to me - it felt like I had died and ceased to exist or something, and it was slightly unpleasant.

I had no idea what time it was or how long I had slept when I woke once more. It was clearly morning or maybe even later, since the sun had risen high up in the cloud-free, crystal clear sky.

I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and blinked several times to adjust to the light - my eyes were dry from all the crying. I got up slowly then - it was a hard movement, I was so stiff from lying on the floor for so many hours, unmoving. My hands stung, my knees ached and my throat was sore - I needed some water and a shower. A shower always calmed me; the feel of the hot water on my skin soothed my muscles and relaxed me in a way nothing else could.

I was terrified to go downstairs and face Renée or Charlie, or both. Maybe, if I was lucky, they would be gone already, but I didn't have my hopes up. That wasn't the only reason I was terrified, though. It wasn't even the main reason. What I was terrified of was, well, everything. If I had been scared yesterday, it was nothing compared to the fear I had been feeling ever since last night's nightmare - or whatever it was; because I still believed it had been real.

But I had to go downstairs at one point, I still hadn't eaten in forever, and my body was beginning to protest against the lack of food in my system. So, I took the first step and opened the bathroom door. I stood there for a long while, trying to get my emotions under control. I knew I looked like a wreck - how could I not after the night I just had? I didn't check in the mirror to confirm what I already knew - no reason to frighten myself any further. So even if I did get my emotions under control, which I highly doubted at the moment, it wouldn't do much good since anyone could see how damaged I was.

Eventually, I made my way downstairs and into the kitchen, where Renée was sitting at the counter drinking coffee. She looked up when I came in and the emotions in her eyes showed nothing other than sympathy and fear. I swallowed and conjured up a fake smile - no need for her to feel as terrified as I.

Her clothes didn't reflect her feelings, however - they were more casual than the first time I had seen her. She was wearing dark blue jeans, a red tank top and a blue vest. Her hair was hanging loose, she was beautiful. While I looked like a monster, still dressed in the clothes I put on the morning before. I hadn't changed when I came home the day before, I had hardly moved.

"Hi," I said; my voice was hoarse and sounded strange, I was surprised it was my own. She smiled back, but the smile didn't quite reach her eyes, it was distorted in pain - I had no idea why she was feeling pain, but it made me feel guilty; even though she wasn't my real mother, I still seemed to care a great deal for her.

"Hello, Iz-" she paused and sighed, Charlie had obviously told her about my name change and she didn't seem to like it, "-Bella, I mean. How are you feeling this morning?" she continued, looking at me with a wary expression. The underlining meaning in her sentence was obvious, she wanted to know what all the screams were about last night - I would never tell her. "I'm fine, thank you. What time is it?" I asked, again, she seemed a little thrown off by my friendly, casual tone, but tried not to show it.

"It's 5:30, you're up early. You usually sleep in late on a Saturday," she added, I frowned, it was Saturday? I couldn't remember what day it had been when he left me - it hurt to even think about it - but I was sure it had been somewhere in the beginning of the week, not the end. Which meant I had skipped some days, or someone made me skip a few days, I didn't know. When I thought about what Renée had said, I almost laughed aloud - my Renée almost always slept till noon on a Saturday and I was always up by 6 or 7; apparently the roles were reversed in this world.

"Oh," was all I said in response to her observation - I couldn't explain why I was up so early. 'Well, Renée, I fell into hell last night and didn't really sleep well after that. How about that, huh?!' Yeah, I could imagine what she would say to that.

"So, Iz- sorry, I mean Bella. Ugh, that's gonna take some time getting used to," she trailed off, I fake-coughed to get her mind back on track - a method I used a lot with my Renée. 'Hmm, I guess some things never change.' I thought to myself, waiting for her to continue. "Oh, yeah, where was I?" she said, thinking about what she was going to say before she got annoyed by my name change. "Oh, right. So, I took a day off of work, Charlie didn't mind. I was thinking maybe we could do something together today?" She asked, but my thoughts were on what she said about Charlie. Why wouldn't he mind? Did she work with him? What kind of work did they do exactly? I would have to figure that out later.

"Uh, I though I was grounded," I said, confused. I clearly remembered what she said about me being grounded and not getting my Jaguar back until I was un-grounded. Did I dream that or something?

"Going out with your mother isn't exactly the same as going out till all hours of the night with your friends, is it?" She said, and for the first time in this conversation, I heard the irritation in her voice toward me again. I didn't respond, how could I? I didn't go out, that was their Izzy, their version of me. I wasn't her, I wasn't a party girl. How could I make it clear to them I had changed without them thinking I had gone crazy? 'Well, it would explain a lot.' A voice in my head said; I groaned internally, I had dropped that option - I hadn't gone crazy, someone did this to me. 'Yeah, just keep telling yourself that.' The voice in my head chipped in, much to my aggravation. 'Shut up!' I replied, by which the voice also replied, .'Yeah, talking to yourself, no, you sure haven't gone crazy' The voice said, sarcasm flowing through it.

"Ughh," I groaned, Renée looked at me with confusion - she had heard nothing of my mental conversation with myself and probably thought if I was going crazy. I almost kicked myself in the head for thinking about that option again - I had thrown it out the window, beside, the more I thought about it, the more it did feel as if I were going crazy - hence, the voice.

"Uh, what do you think? Do you want to hang out with your old lady here?" She asked, pointing at herself. I rolled my eyes, now she did remind me of my Renée - it hurt a little to think that. I couldn't get attached to her, I would find my way out of here, I promised myself.

"Well, I kind of forgot where I put my money I saved up...," I trailed off; I had no idea if I had any money saved up here, and if I did, I had no idea where it was. She seemed confused by my statement and gave me a look that screamed: 'My god, my daughter has gone crazy'.

"Your money is in the bank - your father and I have control over it, remember?" She said, still giving me that yep-she's-crazy-look.

"Oh, right, I forgot. So, out of curiosity, how much money have I saved so far? I always forget," I said, she was still looking at me funny, but she replied, "$5890, I know no one who's better at saving money than you," she stated as if that would get rid of any flaws she thought I had, or better said, she though Izzy had. But I had to admit, it was a lot! I had never had so much money in my entire life - then, an idea hit me. "We could go shopping, I'm, uh, dying for some new shoes and clothes," I said, though I hated shopping, I knew I had to do it. I couldn't walk in any of the shoes this Izzy character seemed to have and the clothes weren't really my style either. Besides, my style was changing a lot, I didn't even know if I still liked my old style - I felt like I needed a darker style to match my feelings.

"Oh, I'd love to do that Iz- oh damn, I mean Bella," She said, she definitely had more trouble with the name change than Charlie seemed to have. "It's been such a long time since we've shopped together, I've missed that," she stated and I felt sorry for her - her daughter, Izzy, didn't seem to do anything with this Renée, while I did everything with her; well, I used to do everything with her before I moved to Forks. But I had moved to make her happy; I doubted Izzy would have done the same.

Thinking about Izzy made me think about something else - if I was here, then where was she? Had she taken my place in Forks? Or had someone taken her so they could put me here? Was I missing now in Forks? Were they looking for me? Or were they experiencing the same as the people here, a complete personality change? More questions that filled my head, making it ache. More questions I couldn't possibly answer, not yet anyway.

"Good, so, I'll take a shower first and then I'll make us some lunch and we can go," I said, by which Renée's eyes widened in surprise. I didn't understand her, especially not when she burst into a fit of laughter. "Have...you...gone...crazy?!" She said in between giggles - I almost said yes but refrained myself from doing so. Finally, she stopped laughing and wiped the tears that had formed in her eyes, away. "Since when do you make lunch? You know you can't cook for the life of you," she said. Crap, how was I going to explain this one? I quickly came up with a lie - it was strange, though I was a terrible liar, the more I did it, the easier it became.

"Oh, I went to this cooking class with, uh, Jessica and Lauren-," I almost gagged when I said that last name, "-and I really liked it and went back a couple of times. Turn out I'm actually a good cook. This was all before I got grounded, of course," I quickly added, I didn't want to enrage her.

"Okay... I guess I'll have to wait and see then," she said, her voice hesitant, but then continued in a casual tone of voice, "You'll have to put some plastic around those bandages if you're taking a shower, I'll get you some," she said and began searching in a cabinet for something. She seemed a little reluctant to talk about my wounds - I guess it reminded her of how crazy I had gotten the day before; I couldn't blame her for her attitude.

She handed me some plastic foil and some waterproof tape so the foil couldn't come loose. I thanked her and headed upstairs to take a shower.

Once I was sure my knees and hands were going to be free of water, I stepped under the hot water. I could instantly feel my tense body relaxing - my muscles relaxed by the feel of the hot water. I was calm now; nothing could touch me in this state. Well, that was as long as I didn't think of him. Just thinking of him would send me back into a hysteric state and that would not be good now. It did surprise me how good I was at avoiding thinking of him - it didn't always work, which I demonstrated yesterday, but it worked better than I imagined. I figured it had something to do with the fact I was so consumed with thoughts of how I wound up here.

Though, it wasn't because I wasn't thinking of him, I wasn't in pain. I was in tremendous pain - there was a hole in my stomach pulling at the edges, waiting to rip me open as it did last night. Only, it was waiting to rip me apart so much I wouldn't be able to recover - it was waiting to kill me. So, in a way, I guess I was thankful I had something to distract me with - something horrific and terrifying, but something nonetheless.

After my shower - I ended up staying in it for over an hour, if not longer - I went back into Izzy's room - I still couldn't bear to think of it as my room - and searched for something to wear. Again, I groaned at the sight of the clothes - the happy colours and exposing outfits didn't help with my gloomy mood. Eventually, I decided to wear another pair of white jeans, a purple top - the only purple in the closet, also the darkest colour - and a white, jeans vest. I didn't know, nor cared, if it matched - I never was one to get exited over clothes.

By the time I came to the shoes, I was cussing under my breath. I knew if I wore any of those shoes again, I was sure to fall down, again. I put on some socks and went downstairs on them - I would ask Renée if she had some sneakers I could lend.

Renée was confused as to why I would want to wear sneakers; she said I only wanted to wear high-heeled shoes, nothing else. "Yeah, well, funny thing, I seem to have become very clumsy lately and I can't seem to walk in those shoes without falling down now," I had said, she had raised her eyebrows in disbelief, but accepted by lie nevertheless. She gave me a nice pair of white sneakers, which I happily accepted. I told her she'd get them right back once I bought some of my own.

She had also commented on my lack of make-up usage again, and once more, I had lied. "Oh, I read somewhere that too make make-up use is bad for the skin, so I'm laying off it for a while," I had said, she had accepted that lie easier than the one about the shoes. "Right you are, honey. Besides, you're pretty enough, you don't need it," she had said, I almost rolled my eyes at that. I knew I was a hideous creature, why else would he had left? I quickly thought of something else, not wanting to have another mental breakdown before her. I'm sure she noticed the way I cringed when she said that, though she didn't comment on it.

Once I was fully clothed, I went into the kitchen to work on lunch - while Renée sat in the living room reading a book. She sure was different than my Renée.

I ended up making a Chicken Ceasar salad - Renée had ended up loving it, she thought it tasted amazing. It didn't really taste like anything to me; I just ate to keep my strength up, though I didn't really see the point in it.

Around 1 pm, we left for the mall - it was huge, very different than the small one in Forks, or the one I had thought was big back in Phoenix - just like the school, it seemed enormous. I went through the motions as we shopped - I found some things that seemed to fit me and my mood and bought them. Renée didn't really like them; she said they were too dark and too cheep. Apparently, Izzy only wore things by famous designers, while I looked at the prices as well as the clothes and not the designers.

I ended up buying nothing but black, grey, brown, and dark purple clothing. I think I spend a total of $270 dollars on 50 or so items, like Renée said, they were all very cheep - some cost no more than $2. Normally, I didn't buy this much at once, but I needed some normal clothes and since I had none at Renée's house, I needed to buy a lot. I also bought 3 pairs of sneakers, also rather cheep. Shoes were automatically more expensive than clothes, but I hadn't spent so much. I ended up paying a total of $93 dollars for the shoes. One pair was in black, one in white with black stripes and one pair in brown with white stripes. Renée had mentioned something about how I normally paid at least $100 dollars for a pair of shoes; she was surprised I spent almost nothing this time. Though I thought it was a lot. I guess rich people didn't really have to worry about money.

Renée said that despite my sudden clothing change, she enjoyed herself - I didn't, I just went through the motions. I only spoke when she asked me a question, I was moody all afternoon, and I was surprised she didn't see that.

We ended up eating pizza at the mall - she wanted to go to one of the fancy restaurants nearby, but I had refused, said I wanted pizza. I didn't really care what I ate - I couldn't taste it anyway - but I didn't want to spend any more money than necessary; it wasn't my money to spend.

It was late by the time we got home, almost 7, and I headed straight for bed. I was tired and wanted to be alone, the whole shopping excursion had drained me. But I was afraid to sleep, afraid that the nightmare or whatever it had been would come back, so despite my better knowledge, I took some painkillers I found in my bathroom. I took 3 of them after reading the instructions on the bottle, they were harmless. They would knock me out for the night and chase any unwanted nightmares away so I could sleep peacefully tonight. I knew I wouldn't be able to do this every night, but one night couldn't hurt.

And I was right; after taking the pills, it took me less than half an hour to drift into a sleepless dream. It felt the same to me as the last night when I fell asleep for the second time - hollow, empty - as if I had ceased to exist and died. I didn't like that feeling at all, it was bad enough I felt that way when I was awake, I didn't want to feel like that when I was asleep. Though it was better than the nightmare, which I was sure would come haunt me again when I was awake and when I went to bed again the next day, without the help of pain killers.

I guess I had to wait and see for what was to come next, though one thing I was sure off; tomorrow, I would surf the net and look for any clues as to how I got here. I was going to find something! I would get out of this place and back to Forks! That much I believed.