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Before I Die

Summary:
Edward has cancer. He knows that he'll die soon, and before that happens, he wants to have fun with his life. He doesn't want to find love, but as he has 'fun', he meets a girl, named Bella. AH AU BxE


Notes:


21. Chapter 20 pt 2

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1281   Review this Chapter

Bella

Twenty-minutes and three seconds in counting. This is how long Edward has been out. The tears were falling endlessly now, dripping off my face and onto the white tiled floor. Dr. Carlisle told me and Esme that this could probably be the end. I, of course, believed in miracles so I was hoping it wasn't. I couldn't take my eyes off my husband, who looked like he wasn't in pain at all, just resting. My hand was on top of his, I decided to give it a little squeeze. His eyes slowly opened, and it gave me a little faith.

"Hey." I mumbled, I tried to hide the shakiness of it.

He didn't say anything, but the smallest amount of pressure was put on my hand.

"You scared me." I said.

"I love you…" he seemed to say, it was hard to tell because his voice was so soft.

"I love you too." I said immediately.

He closed his eyes, me thinking that he was just going back to sleep. His heart monitor kept beeping, a sound that I loved to here.

"Esme," I said, turning my neck slightly, but I kept my eyes on his face.

"Yes?" she hummed, swiftly walking over to me.

"How can you do this so calmly?" I asked another tear fell. She knew what I meant; her hand softly caressed my back in comfort.

"Honey, I've been through this for years, I know how to keep a tough face. But inside, I just want to scream, and cry. But what's that going to do?"
My tears betrayed me, continuing to fall down my face without warning. The heart monitor stopped beeping suddenly, causing me to jump.

"Oh my god." I whispered. "Get Carlisle!" I screeched, jumping out of my seat.

Esme covered her mouth with a shaking hand.

"No." she mumbled.

I whipped my head around to face her, looking at her as if she were a crazy person.

"What?" I asked almost hysterical.

"I said 'no'." she repeated.

"Why?!" I shouted, not caring if the next room heard me.

"I bet Edward would want it this way, not letting the doctors know that he's dead." Esme said calmly.

"Have you gone insane?" I questioned. I started to run, finding the nearest doctor around.

"Someone, please come, my husband's heart has gone dead!" I cried out, I probably sounded insane myself. The nurses and the people looked at me, first with a confused expression, than a panicked one. Instantly they rushed to the room I had just came out of. I sunk to the floor, I watched as they tried to wake him up, and failing miserably. Carlisle was the last to enter the room, he checked all his vital signs, and then sighed. He looked out the door and saw me on the floor, balling my eyes out.

He came over to me, kneeling on the floor.

"I'm very sorry." He said.

"What?" I questioned in a small voice.

"He's dead Bella." He flat out said.

"No! He can't be! We just got married, we were supposed to go to Hawaii for our honeymoon, we were supposed to live a happy life because he would survive this cancer, and we were supposed to live happily ever after!" I yelled, perhaps I have gone insane.

Carlisle pursed his lips into a tight white line.

"I'm sorry honey." He said.

"We came as soon as we can! The freakin guests wouldn't leave." Emmett grumbled. He was holding Rosalie's hand as they walked out of the elevator. One look at me and he knew something was wrong.

"Wheres Edward?" he questioned a crazed look came into his eyes. I couldn't respond, I just pointed to his room. Emmett let go of Rosalie's hand and ran to the room, where the nurses were still trying to revive him.

Jasper came next, his arm was over Alice's shoulder, his eyes flashed from me, than to Carlisle. His jaw dropped open and he ran to the room.

"I'm sorry baby." Alice mumbled, hugging me.

Rosalie frowned; sad things like this weren't really her thing.

I thought back to our wedding, our slow dance as that song played. He chose that song, saying it was perfect just for us. If you listen to the lyrics, it is perfect for us.

The nurses finally gave up, and pulled the sheets over his head.

The sight of that will mentally scar me for the rest of my life.

My love.

Gone.

Its over.

Just like that. I wanted to kill myself at that moment; I felt like screaming, "Just take a knife and stab me with it! Please, I'm begging you!" but I didn't really say that of course. I just blacked out into Alice's arms.

***

I found out later that week, that I was written in Edward's will, which shocked me a little since he never mentioned it. He gave me everything of his, from baseball cap, to his football. I didn't really want to take it, it was never mine to take. But Esme showed up on my doorstep with a box full of his stuff. She just handed it to me, and left without another word.

It took me two hours that day, to go through everything in that box. I ended up crying and not stopping until I came across a note.

Bella, if you are reading this, then I'm probably dead right now. If you are crying please don't, don't make it hard for the both of us. I'm writing this while I hear you and Alice bicker about what food to serve at our wedding. Keep yourself safe for me, don't try to kill yourself. I will always love you, never forget that.

I inhaled the paper, wondering if his scent lingered on the paper.

It didn't, it just smelled like regular paper.

The following week was his funeral. I had no intention of getting up that morning, but Alice forced me too.

"Come on, you lazy ass, I know it's hard, but you will regret this if you don't come." She said, pulling on my arm. Easy for her to say, Jasper and she have been going out for months now. I tried to stay silent during the funeral, fearing that if I opened my mouth, I would lose it there.

I watched as they lowered my husband down deep in to the ground.

I put on some dark lens sunglasses, so no one will see my red eyes.

"I'm sorry." One by one, they said this to me as I went home. I was now a widow, a teenage widow that had the best few months of her life with a guy she loved.

"I'm going to miss him." I said to Alice.

Alice frowned.

"Same here. You should have seen Jasper; he looked like he was going to murder someone."

"Well, you should have seen Emmett; he was crying his eyes out." Rosalie chimed.

"Are you serious? Hes such a big guy though." Alice teased.

"He still has a heart." Rosalie retorted.

"Guys! Not right now, please." I pleaded.

Alice shot me a sympathy look and turned on the radio.

I could not ask for more than this time together,
I could not ask for more than this time with you. Every prayer has been answered,
Every dream I have's come true.

I froze the song. This was our song. I looked up at the ceiling; I always thought that if you looked up, you would see heaven, it didn't matter where you were, you just had to look up and it was there. The song was a sign.

"I love you too Edward." I whispered.