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Before I Die

Summary:
Edward has cancer. He knows that he'll die soon, and before that happens, he wants to have fun with his life. He doesn't want to find love, but as he has 'fun', he meets a girl, named Bella. AH AU BxE


Notes:


6. Chapter 6

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1054   Review this Chapter

Sitting in a waiting room, can be nerve racking. Since your waiting for the doctor to tell you whether or not you're going to die. Oh the irony. Around me, the room was filled with motivational posters. My favorite one was, 'Just Do It' even though its an ad for a shoe, its still cool. The receptionist was furiously typing away on her computer, glancing up once in a while to smile at me. The door opened and Dr. Thorton emerged. I straightened up in my seat a little bit.

“Hi Edward.” Dr. Thorton greeted, he wasn't smiling, but he probably never does.

“Hi Doc.” I replied.

“So whats the news?” Esme said excitedly.

Dr. Thorton frowned. “I'm afraid it isn't good.”

Esme's smile died.

“Recent blood test show that Edward hasn't been responding to chemotherapy lately.” he announced.

My breathing slowed, oh no.

Esme's eyes started getting watery. “What?” she stammered.

“I'm sorry Miss.” he said, his tone was apologetic.

“Oh god, Edward.” Esme moaned, looking at me.

I flashed her a small smile, trying to let her know it was okay.

“How long?” I asked getting to the point.

“Edward!” Esme shrieked.

“No, I want to know.” I said turning back to the doctor.

“I give it six months at the most” he stated.

Six months of living. Wow.

“I'm really sorry.” he said again.

“No, its okay, I had to die sometime right?” I tried to joke, but it came out sad. I thought about what things I could add to my list before I leave the world. I came up short, but I'll think of something eventually.

Esme started to cry, her sobbing caused a distraction to my thinking.

“Shh.” I comforted, putting my arms around her.

“I'll leave you two alone, then I'll come back.” Dr. Thorton said getting up.

“Mom...” I said.

“Edward...oh my god...this is all my fault...” she sobbed, she could hardly breathe.

“Calm down Mom, its going to be okay.” I soothed.

“Okay? Okay? Edward, you're going to die in six months!” her voice broke on die.

I nodded, accepting that fact.

“I'm fine with that, its you who has to be fine with it.” I said.

Esme sniffed. “Baby...I'm so sorry.” she said.

“Its okay Mom, its really not your fault.” I said.

“Stop saying that.” she pleaded.

I nodded. “Okay.”

Esme continued to cry. Then it really hit me then. I was dying, every second of the day, I was getting close. I hardly lived life like I should, I want to do more than just lie in bed, wasting precious time when I could be doing something. Then I thought of the things I could add to my list.

Drugs

Sex

Learn how to ride a motorcycle

Some sort of adrenaline rush

I think the second one is kind of impossible to do, since you need another person to have sex with. But the others, I could totally do. Emmett would love to teach me how to ride a motorcycle.

“Edward?” Esme croaked pulling me away from my thoughts.

“Yes Mom?” I said.

“Lets go home.” she said.

“Actually, I want to go to the park.” I said.

Esme's eyes softened. “Okay baby, I'll come with you.” she said.

“No, I just want to go by myself, and think.”

“You're going to walk?” she questioned.

“Yeah.” I said, simple as that.

Esme nodded slowly. “Okay, don't be too long.” she warned.

I smiled in response and got up, walking away from the waiting room and Esme. I pushed the elevator button and waited. When it dinged, I stepped in and let the doors close by itself. When I was sure that no one would hear me. I screamed, letting it all out, the anger, the pain, all of it.

The elevator doors opened again and I stepped out, walking briskly as if time was catching up on me. I kept walking until I reached the park. Kids were playing and the sun was setting.

Sometimes, I wonder if life is a movie, just waiting for the director to say 'Cut!' and redo the scene if it was horrible. Or if someone was watching each of my moves, waiting to see what would happen. Sometimes, it felt like someone was directing my life for me. That I wasn't supposed to get cancer, that it was just in the script that the producers wrote. I wish I could quit my role. But I can't, until I die, then I could officially quit my role. Until then, I would just have to live life like a dare devil would. Taking risks as if tomorrow was the last day of my life. The ironic part of that is, I know when the last day of my life arrives, it may not be tomorrow, but someday. I could feel it.

“Mommy! I got a boo boo!” I little kid shrieked.

I smiled as the mom picked the little kid up and kissed her on the forehead.

“All better?” the mom asked.

“Yes.” the kid responded.

If only life was that easy, someone can come along and kiss you and make it better. If that was true, I wouldn't have Esme crying over the fact I have cancer, because she would have kissed my head and made it better. The mom noticed me looking and smiled. I smiled back and walked the other way.

The sun was finally on the horizon, I sat down on the bench and watched it set. Most of the people already left, but they were leaving at the best time. The sun was beautiful at this time of day, its the only time when you can actually stare at it without getting blind.

“Hey mister. Aren't you going back home to your Mommy?” a little kid asked, staring up at me.

“No not yet.” I replied.

The little kid frowned. “Won't she be worried?” he asked.

“No, nothing worse can happen to me now.” I said.

The little kids eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Anthony!” a girl, who I assumed to be the mom, yelled, running up to us.

“Mommy, this person isn't going back home to his Mommy yet.” the kid said.

The mom looked at me apologetically. 'Sorry' she mouthed.

I nodded, letting her know its okay.

“I'm sure his Mommy knows where he is, lets leave the nice man alone, say bye.” she commanded.

“Bye!” the little kid waved.

“Bye.” I waved back.

That got me thinking, would I live long enough to have my own kid?