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When Emmett Eats Cheese

Summary:
Emmett does as the title says. What sort of weird thing does he halucinate about? Only reading will let you know!


Notes:
Please enjoy it. It's sorta hystarical and stupid. But do enjoy, I have so many more! If you like this I suggest: It Was Red: The Story Of When Carlisle Got DrunkGarden TerrorsSecret Stash Of Rubber Duckies: Jasper's TaleAlice's Best Friend Plot they all rock and I wrote the most of 'um!


1. Chapter 1

Rating 5/5   Word Count 359   Review this Chapter

I shouldn't have done it, I know. Rose said, quote, ' you idiot! Don't eat that! We're not even supposed to eat'. Boy did she throw a right fit. I lifted the little yellow wedge to my mouth and bit it. It tasted absolutly disgusting! All that for nothing.

Then it all went foggy.

"Emmett?" a voice asked. I looked up. Oh no! "A mutant cookie monster!"

"No, Emmett. I'm Esme."

"Nice try!" In order to save myself, I threw a glass lamp at it. Smash!

"Emmett! It yelled. Woo-hoo! Score 28,666,777 for me! Since when did I forget how to count to one? Huh, odd.

Then a really fat blond walked in.

"Oh, gosh! Rosalie! You are so not hot anymore! You sure let yourself go!"

"You apple core!" she picked up a hotdog and threw it at me. Who knew hotdogs sizzled, smoke, and burned when they hit you? Suddenly the room was practically destroyed by a loud screech. An evil fish-faced thing! She was holding a bag of ch-ch-cheese!!

"Me love cheese!" She lunged at the fat Rose. I never knew that attempting to claw out someone's eyes was a sign of affection. Must be a different culture.

The fish-lady ended up dragging the fat Rose out by her fat nose.

Then in came this really girly and gay looking emo dude. His hair was black and he was holding a knife.

"Emmett sharpen this. I have some work to do for tomorrow."

Suicidal!

"Never! Go find some other hobo to help you with your deadly deeds."

"Honestly, dude, I know doughnuts are crazy."

"Oh really?!"

"Yeah!"

"Yeah?!"

"Yeah!

"Yeah!

"What?"

"Shut up, will 'ya?"

"Peanuts!"

"Wow."

"Sorry, I don't know why I did that."

"It was red!"

"Where did that come from?"

"It was red."

Then I felt warm all over. I looked around at several different facial expressions. Rose was not fat. There was no mutant cookie monster. Or fish-faced lady. Jasper was not gay. Or girly. Or emo with black hair. Also I was covered with cheese. In vomit form.

"No more cheese for me!" Or yes?