There is no Bella. Alice is married to Edward. What would happen if I met Jasper? The sparks will fly and stuff will most definitely hit the fan! AU. Read and review!
I do not own anything from the Twilight Saga; it's all Stephenie's genius. I also don't any of the music used in this story.
4. Chapter 4
Rating 0/5 Word Count 3086 Review this Chapter
After Kevin had arrived, he noticed the beginnings of my emotional breakdown and intelligently ignored the tear stains on my face. For this, I was more appreciative than I could have said. I needed to get my mind off…him. Finishing the inventory catalogue was the perfect diversion. Knowing that I should, could, and would lose myself in the sheet music and memorabilia spurned me to work harder than I had in the year previous. Kevin looked at me wearily and wandered off to his office after he saw the “zone” I was in. Inventory was finished by lunch, and by 1:00, I was opening the shop to its first customers.
I watched one in particular very closely. He was about 6’2” and had the oddest shade of hair…it was almost bronze. However, this was not what kept my attention. It was mostly his eyes. They were the same color as Jasper’s and carried the same dark circles underneath. His skin was the same milky white, as well. Other than this, I noticed no other resemblance.
He has the same odd features you noticed about Jasper and Carlisle and Esme. Is he…no, I’m insane. He said that Edward had flown somewhere the just the day before. Would he be back so fast? If so, he must be so tired. I heard a melodic chuckle come from the man as he examined a piece of sheet music I knew to be Hayden’s Symphony No. 94. I shook my head and attempted to turn my thoughts elsewhere. Thinking about anything but him was impossible without something to keep my hands and head busy. I rested my chin in the palm of my hand and stared off blankly into space, trying to think about the newest sheet music I had found before our move.
This was how the man found me after choosing his piece and making his way to the counter. He startled me, and I heard the man clearing his throat to hide his laughter. I felt myself turning red as I took the sheets from his hands. Could you have made a bigger ass of yourself, Sam? You could have at least made it look like you were doing something. I mentally rolled my eyes at my behavior, telling myself the time for self-pity was over. I rang up the purchase and recited the total to the man. When he handed me his credit card, I did a double take at the name it carried. Edward A.M. Cullen…oh, shit! This is his other brother! Now I feel like even more of an idiot. Completely disgusted with myself, I finished the transaction and handed Edward his card and bag. I was humiliated as I fed him the standard line.
“Thanks for stopping by Kevin’s Music Wonderland. We hope you have a rocking rest of the day. Please, bop on in again sometime.”
God, I cannot believe I let Kevin talk me into using that…it’s absolute shit!
I smiled at him and he left the store. As he turned, I could have sworn I heard him quietly laughing and saw his shoulders shaking with it.
I held in my laughter until I’d shut myself into my Volvo. It echoed off the interior, shredding my freakishly sensitive eardrums, but relieving the pressure in my chest. Sam had been entirely too delightful when she had been ringing up my purchase. The disgust in her thoughts about that cheesy, canned line was refreshingly honest and showed that she was loyal to her employer for saying it. However, it was the melancholy that coated her thoughts when she wasn’t distracted that worried me.
When Jasper had picked my up from the airport, he had been entirely unmanageable. His thoughts were one large jumble of anger. I could feel it radiating off of him before I stepped out of the airport. There were only two thoughts that were getting through this haze. One was a vivid picture of a small, delicate woman with brown hair and eyes, pale skin; she was tearfully escaping the interior of his car as he stood by fuming at what he thought he had done. The other was the façade of the store where she works.
Seeing my brother in such distress made it clear that I had to check out the situation for myself. After consulting with my wife, I quickly made my way out the door before Jasper could sense my guilt at doing this behind his back. Thankfully, I had accomplished this and had seen Sam’s distraught state.
The pair of them were stubborn and pig-headed. She was in the wrong for snipping at him when he was only complimenting her, and he was in the wrong for over-reacting and letting his frustration take control. Alice and I had to do something about this. In her vision, I had seen my brother happier than ever before, and in person I had seen him more devastated than the day he had found our family. Fixing this was going to take some doing, and I knew just who to call to action to help get it done.
The workday had finally run its course. I sighed in relief, hurriedly flipping the sign on the door to ‘closed.’ After quickly double-checking the day’s inventory log, I called out to Kevin.
“Kevin? Everything is finished up out here. I’m going to head home, okay?”
His vague mumbling had me rolling my eyes as I pulled on my raincoat and went out the door. My iPod was playing in my ears before I had taken more than a handful of steps. I needed something to distract me, and music always sucks me into its world. Shiny Toy Guns’ cover of ‘Stripped’ did little to take my mind off my problems. Restlessly flipping from song to song, I made my way home in the freezing rain. I got back to my apartment without even remembering the trip.
My alarm blasts me awake, just like any other day. I’m not sure how, but I can feel the change in this day. Anticipation is flowing through me like nothing I’ve ever felt. My anxiety causes me to be even more clumsy than normal. He would be extremely amused by watching me fumble around like this.
I prepare for him, choosing clothing with much thought. I shower, covering myself in his favorite scent on me, gardenia. I smother myself in lotion, making my skin baby’s bottom smooth. After dressing, I am finally ready for him.
When the knock sounds, I fight to quell the squeal that automatically tries to escape. He’s here! Finally! I run to the door and nearly hit myself with it in anticipation of seeing him again. Relief is strong in me and weakens my knees as my brain realizes it will have what it wants most: him. I open the door fully and see…
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
I am startled awake from my dream by the obnoxious banging at my front door.
“Damn it! Can a woman not get a good night’s sleep around this Hellhole,” I asked myself as I grudgingly rose to answer the knocking.
I pulled the door open and was greeted by the unfamiliar face of a pixie. The first thing I noticed about her was her hair…short, spiky black that suited her seemingly boundless energy. I noticed her eyes next. Jasper’s eyes. This must be one of his sisters. The next jolt came from realizing I had at least a good six inches on her in height. Regardless of this fact, I felt as big as a flea when she sized me up. I cleared my throat.
“Um, can I help you…”
She smiled brightly at me, extending a dainty hand.
“Hi! I’m Alice Hale. Jasper’s—“
“Sister…I remember. You obviously know who I am,” I said, shaking her hand.
“Yes, I do. Sam, it’s nice to finally meet you.”
“Likewise. Would you like to come in, Alice?”
“That would be lovely, thank you.”
I led her into the living room and offered her a seat on the couch. Uncomfortable with the silence, I offered her something to drink. With a twinkle in her eye that made me think she found my offer amusing, she responded.
“No, thank you, I don’t think I’m thirsty just now. Maybe another time.”
The silence that fell was awkward as I waited for her to make the point she was obviously here to make. When she spoke, I was startled.
“So, what made you decide to move here, Sam?”
“My boss moved his music shop here to Forks and offered me a raise to come with it. But, you probably already knew that.”
If it was possible, Alice’s face went even paler when I said this she stammered her reply.
“What do you mean?”
Okay, totally un-called for reaction. Talk about paranoia.
“I told your brother the story. He must have told you at least that much.”
She visibly relaxed, slumping back in her seat.
“Yes, I think he did.”
Sensing something off kilter, but too anxious to find out the reason she was here, I made it my mission to find out what Alice was really doing in my apartment.
“Alice, I know that you didn’t come here to have me tell you something you already knew. How can I help you?”
She sighed, a slight smile on her face.
“You are perceptive, aren’t you? All right. I’m here about Jasper.”
I stiffened in response, thinking that she must hate me for what I’d done.
“No, it’s nothing bad, Sam. He…he doesn’t even know I’m here. In fact, he’d probably yell himself hoarse if he did.”
“I don’t understand, then. If he didn’t send you…”
She smiled gently and placed her hand over mine, gently squeezing.
“My husband and I are worried about our brother. Edward said that this is the worst he’s seen Jasper since he joined our family. Sam, we know that he’s miserable because of what happened with you. He feels terrible that he acted the way he did, then left you without making it right.”
I was in tears by this time, feeling horrible for his guilt.
“But, Alice, it was my fault, not his! I was rude and—“
She cut me off with a raised eyebrow.
“Yes, you were rude. But, Jasper had no right to become angry with you like that. He of all people should have—never mind. Just know that you are not the only one to blame, Sam.”
I sighed. I knew that she was right. Suddenly, an idea smacked me dead on in the face. I swiped the tears from my face and turned to her.
“Alice, could you take something to Jasper for me?”
Alice was swaying in her seat, her eyes glazed over. Oh, crap! Edward’s going to KILL me! His wife is dying right in front of me! I reached out a gently shook her.
“Alice? Alice! Alice, are you all right?”
After a moment, her gaze snapped to mine and a brilliant smile crossed her lips.
“Yes, I’m fine. Now, you were saying…”
This woman seriously confused me. One minute she’s nearly catatonic and the next she’s bouncing up and down in her seat. I mentally shook my head.
“Oh, right. Do you think you could take a note to Jasper for me? I’d like to apologize and explain myself.”
“Yes, of course. Go ahead and write it now. I’ll give you a few moments while I freshen up. May I use your bathroom?”
I nodded and absently pointed in the room’s general direction while I hunted down some paper and a pen. Finding some, I sat down and got to work. Hopefully, this would make some sort of sense to Jasper and we could still be friends after I told him about myself.
“Damn it, Alice, what the HELL did you do?”
Edward’s hand clasped none too gently on my shoulder.
“Take care of how you speak to my wife, Jasper. She is only trying to help you both. I think it might benefit you to listen to your sister.”
I sighed, my sudden lack of anger causing me to collapse onto the sofa behind me, sprawled with my head tilted over the back. I closed my eyes, frustration bubbling up again.
“All right, Al. I understand why you went to Samantha. I just wish…never mind. Tell me what you want to tell me and be done with it, I beg you.”
She smirked as she pulled a small envelope out of her purse. I was suddenly hit in the face with the delicious scent of a human. Samantha! I vaulted off the sofa and snatched the letter from Alice’s tiny hands, ripping it open with precise gentle movements. I snorted. A vampire gentle? Hardly. What’s next, pigs flying or Hell freezing over?
“Jasper, you might want to stop being snide and open the damn letter.”
Maybe if you dislike snide comments, you should kindly get OUT OF MY HEAD! I hissed at him, my way of telling him to get the hell away. He and his wife’s ghostly chuckles echoed as they ran down the hall and out of the house, giving me much desired privacy. I greedily pulled the letter out of its envelope and began reading.
I am terribly sorry about my actions today. There are things in my past that make it hard for me to take any sort of compliment as truth. Many men in my life have all made me feel like I am worthless. I am not using this as an excuse, because there is none for being so rude. I am simply trying to help you understand why I acted like I did.
First, it was my father. He abandoned my brother, Matthew, and I when I was eight. This made me feel like I didn’t deserve his love, since he was obviously unwilling to give it to me. I knew that it was my fault that he left, even though my mom told me otherwise. The fact that I could chase my own father away at eight made me realize that I wasn’t worth sticking around for.
Next, it was my first and only boyfriend, Lucas. He used me for what little money I made working. I was 15. He would steal from my purse and use the money to buy cigarettes and liquor. He was 18, and I was infatuated because, at first, he made me feel like I was worth something. He looked at me like I was worth a million dollars to him. I guess I was, but not in the metaphorical sense. I was literally worth money to him. When he got drunk, he was violent. He beat me countless times, and I always thought it was my fault because I was the one who made him angry, that I was stupid because I couldn’t just do what he’d asked.
My mother finally saw what was happening to me. She dragged me home with her one night and forbade me to see Lucas again. That night, we talked until the sun came up the next morning. I explained to her how everything that had happened was my fault…Dad leaving, Lucas beating me, Matt’s attitude problem…she got so angry. She yelled at me and told me that if she ever heard me say anything like that ever again, she wouldn’t speak to me.
She said that at 17 I was old enough to understand the real reason my father had left. She explained to me that she’d found him with another woman…in their bed. She was the one who kicked him out. It was his decision to not see me or my brother after the divorce was final. He never petitioned for custody. With the truth, I finally realized that none of what had happened had been my fault. I wasn’t worthless. My dad was a first-class jerk, and so was Lucas. Sill, even after realizing that, it’s hard for me to take a compliment. I think that now, it’s more a habit than anything else.
So…now you know why I basically called you a liar. I know in my head that it’s stupid, but in my heart I still sort of feel worthless sometimes. I know that this is a lot to lay on someone who I’ve only known for a day, but I don’t want you to think badly of me. I would still like to try and be friends, if you could forgive me. I know it’s juvenile, but writing notes has always been therapeutic for me, so I apologize for the medium for this apology…wow, could I be lamer? Okay, I’m shutting up now. Hopefully talk to you soon.
The letter fluttered from my fingers and onto the floor. I was frozen with shock. I stared blankly at the wall in front of my face. How could one so young take so much damage? Has she had anyone in her life to trust? Thank whatever entity that gave her such a wonderfully strong mother. If she hadn’t made Samantha see how worthwhile she really is… I trailed off on that morbid thought, the anger at Lucas and her deadbeat father threatening to overflow.
Knowing Samantha’s life story made everything make sense. Her actions were an effort to protect herself. I should have sensed something like this brewing in her…how could I have been so selfish and heartless? I have to tell her…have to make it right. No one in this house, including myself, will allow me to be another bad male influence in her life.My thoughts became one huge jumble again, like they had been at the airport. But, this time, there was one big change: I had to get to her! I leapt to my feet and ran out the door before I fully registered what I was doing. I’m on my way, Samantha. Please, wait for me…please forgive me!