"You're leaving?" I didn't say anything, I didn't even nod, I just stared her into the eye. I hated making her sad, but this was for me, and only me. "Why?" I didn't answer her. ExB. Can they make it work, or are they just playing on broken strings?
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1. 1. Shattered
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I looked down at my book. Wuthering Heights… one of my favorites. Even though I knew it by heart, I read again, and again. But right now I couldn't get any further in it. I had been looking at the same page for hours, and I knew the reason. And the reason had much to do with the fact; that the left side of the bed was empty.
I closed the book, and laid my head down on the pillow, once again wishing that I could sleep.Sleeping would come with dreaming, and what I needed at the moment was dreaming, a lot of it. To go back in time, when everything was amazing and perfect… and how it was supposed to be... Well supposed to be… okay for a vampire anyway... But now, everything was so cold and empty.
Once again my eyes drifted to the empty side of the bed. It had been like that for a long time.I closed my eyes, and taking a deep breath. Because even though I didn't have to breath it was very comforting, some normality in the craziness.
I heard the front door open; I heard all of the 30 steps he had to go up at, to get to our room. I heard him take a deep breath outside the door, and waiting 2 seconds before he walked into our room. And then I heard him stand still. I opened my eyes and looked at him. There he was… my angel, my lover, my husband. Except, he just wasn't my Edward anymore, and he hadn't been for years… he was somebody ells' Edward, but not mine…
“Hi,” he looked shocked that I was even talking to him.
“Hello,” and know he was even being formal… he wasn't looking me in the eye.
“Where have you been?” I didn't want him to think I was mad, but I could hear the anger seeping into my tone…
“Out… I was just coming in to change my clothes, I'm going hunting,” I frowned, hunting?
He raised his head and looked at him, it wasn't often I opened my mind for him. and I closed it again, I just didn't get it.
“Yes hunting…” I shook my head.
“That part I got, I just don't get why you are going today, when I asked if you wanted to go with me yesterday.” He tensed and then he just walked over to the dresser, finding his “hunting clothes” putting it on and sitting on the bed, all in less than 5 seconds. I think he was breaking a record.
He turned and smiled at me, a smile, which we both knew, was fake, because it didn't quite reach his eyes. He leaned over and kissed my cheek.
“I'm sorry l…” I knew what he was trying to say, but I could also see that he thought better of it,
“I'm sorry Bella, but I'm just feeling a little thirsty today… but we'll go hunt together soon… I'll be home tomorrow, you won't even notice that I'm not here,” I just nodded.
“It's okay, guess I'll see you tomorrow then,” I said, trying once again to put a brave face on. He nodded and was gone in a blink of an eye.
Actually sleeping wasn't what I needed.. More like crying. I couldn't do this anymore. Because this was not how I thought everything was supposed to be. I thought we were supposed to need each other all the time. that the desire was so overpowering… well it used to be.
We used to be inseparably… but then something happened, something made him pull away…And now I had a marriage that was broken, and I was the only trying to piece everything back together. And I couldn't do it anymore… 60 years of happily ever after, was that all I got? I thought happily ever after qualified to forever… eternity. After all, that was what I had, eternity.
But if this was my eternity, then I wouldn't have it, because everything was supposed to better, and happier. But here I was sitting in a house in Chicago, in an empty bed, crying without the tears? I’ll tell you why, because I had and family who was loving and caring, but they also had someone to go to bed with at night. Alice had Jasper, Rose had Emmett, Esme had Carlisle and hell… Nessie even had Jacob… and with did I have?
I had My Edward, the thing is, that I didn't go to bed with him at night, I didn't make out with him at school, I didn't feel a smile on my lips every time I saw him. we were living in a silence, we both were afraid of breaking. So no I couldn't’t do this anymore..
So what should I do? Maybe Edward and I weren't supposed to love each other… maybe we were just supposed to be together for a little while, and then we should drift apart, maybe.
All I knew was that I couldn't stay here; I had to get away, even if it was just for a little while. I couldn't stay with all of this love around me, it was too much. So I jumped out of the bed, grabbed one of my many bags, and just started throwing clothes down in it.
I was almost done, when I heard the door open. I knew who it was. I had been waiting on her, trying to stop, talking some sense into me. but as I turned around I the sad look on her face. she was saying goodbye.
“You're leaving?” I didn't say anything. I didn't even nod. I just looked her in the eye. I hated making her sad, but this was for me, and only me. “
Why?” I didn't answer.