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Garden Terrors

Summary:
Esme loves her garden. Esme loves her flowers. Esme even loves the purple flamingo that someone keeps putting beside her roses. But she does NOT love that pesky weed that will not go away.


Notes:
Well, it is sorta stupid, but hey.


1. Chapter 1

Rating 4/5   Word Count 366   Review this Chapter

I walked out of the glass door and into my garden. Roses, tulips, carnations, tiger lillies, bluebells, and so many more enveloped me in their scent. I also noticed that pesky lawn decoration, the purple flamingo. Then I saw it. The gardener's terror.

A weed.

I screamed and ran to it. "Well, then. Time for a little weeding!" I gripped it and pulled. My hands slipped and hit me in the face. Uhg! Then out came Carlisle.

"Help me, sweetie. It won't come out!"

"Darling, a nurse called. It's an emergency and Dr. Sanders can't be there. I'll send out Emmett"

Ha ha! Prepare to meet your utter destruction! Emmett destroys thngs without even trying!

"Move out of the way, Esme! Emmett is here to save the day! Oh crap, a rhyme?! I hate those." Emmett barreled toward the weed, tripped over it and fell off a cliff.

"Wow, how on earth did a cliff get there?" I asked.

"Sorry." Jasper called from the third story window.

"Silence! Move over!" Alice yelled. Her words we drowned out by Jasper's screams. Odd.

I stared at the weed. It seemed to be laughing at me. Then, out came Edward. With a. . .chainsaw!?!?

"I'll take care of it" He yelled. He walked over to the weed and put the chain at it. There was a horrible metalic screech as the shainsaw somehow bounced back and cut Edward up into a jigsaw.

Bella( who was now a vampire )screamed and jumped from the second story window, with a grocery bag.

She began putting the pieces in. I turned and ran into the house. Straight to the missle room. Yes, big red missles. I hit the red button and listened. The was a soaring sound followed by a crash. I ran out and screamed. My garden was a pit! And there sat the weed. Not even a freaking SCRATCH!

I sat down and rocked myself back and forth, sobbing. Then out came Rosalie. She held a pair of scissors. She was also on the phone. She walked over to the weed and snip, it was gone.

Never again would I tollerate those garden terrors.