What if the Cullens weren't the only ones who were special? What if Bella could do something they had never seen before? Canon pairings. Slightly OOC.
7. Chapter Seven - Explanation
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Chapter Seven – Explanation
I started tapping my foot in anticipation and, to be honest, because of the nerves. I heavily breathed in and out a couple of times, waiting for the wooden door to open.
I now actually remembered our frequent visits to this very house and smiled wistfully as I looked back at the long-lived memories.
Charlie and I pulled up in the cruiser a summer way back like we had done a million times before. Charlie loved spending his lazy summers up at La Push with his friend Billy and always brought me with him. We were constantly at their house and I was a little worried we were annoying them.
“Bella, come on!” Charlie yelled as he hopped out of the cruiser. He was smiling broadly, extremely happy we were spending yet another evening at Billy’s. My own smile tugged at my face and I rolled my eyes. I strolled after him towards the red little house and smiled to myself as I thought of the people we were going to go and see.
I always loved spending our time at the little house by the shore. I was very glad that I was able to play with someone around my age. Billy had two daughters and a son. Rachel and Rebecca and Jacob.
He was probably the best friend I ever had Even though I didn’t know him as well as I should have. I grinned and the wind ruffled my hair.
I probably should have played with the girls, Rachel and Rebecca, but they were older and liked doing things I yet hadn’t come to interest. So I spent most of my time in Forks with Jacob.
We played hide-and-go-seek in the woods around his house and we made sand-castles at the beach. We built all kinds of things with his Lego’s and we watched the tide-pools together.
We had a great time.
With him around the times I had been in Forks weren’t so bad. And even though I didn’t exactly visit my father so often, Jacob and I had a bond that really never was affected by time or distance.
The door suddenly flew open and startled me.
“Bella!” he yelled out in a mix of surprise and joy.
I looked up at Jacob and his face immediately changed to a frown.
“What’s wrong?” he said, every word clearly strained.
I shook my head and trained my eyes at my feet. Was I really that easy to read? I was trying my hardest not to think of what happened at school and the things I now knew.
I grimaced as I thought of it.
“Bella, get in” he said through gritted teeth.
I whipped my head up so I could meet his eyes, alarmed by his tone. I stared into his eyes and prodded into his mind.
I swear, if someone has hurt her…
His mind was racing hundred miles per hour trying to think of some reason for me to be here in the middle of the school day looking like a hurt little child.
I tried to smile reassuringly but Jacob gave me a frown in return so I doubted that it worked.
I sighed and complied.
“Bella, what’s wrong?” he asked again as we sat down in their small living room.
I glanced around the small space and smiled a little at the familiar surroundings.
Even though I just had spent all of two summers at this house, it already felt like a second home. There was just something about coming back to this place that made me embrace the nostalgia. We had a fun run.
I looked back at Jacob who was sitting across from me, his dark eyes grave and his brows pulling together, creating a slight frown on his face. I raked my eyes over him and I almost gaped at what I saw.
The boy had grown.
The boyish roundness that I had seen in his features just a couple a days of go was disappearing and I could see that he was aging. Looking a lot older than his supposedly fifteen almost sixteen years. I could also tell that he was taller than before.
“Jake, what happened to you?” I asked my voice clearly displaying my worry for him.
“What do you mean,` what happened to me’?” he frowned, honestly having no idea what I was talking about. I was pretty sure that this was something that was not normal. That much change in a couple of days. I couldn’t have been the only one noticing it.
“You’ve grown...” I said hesitating as I met his deep brown eyes.
His eyes immediately brightened up and I could swear they looked a little lighter at that moment.
So she noticed, huh? It must be some change, everyone won’t stop blabbering about it… Wait, she’s trying to distract me. Why the hell is she here? Something real bad must’ve happened…
“Bella…” he hesitated, choosing his words carefully.
I could feel my face fall as I heard his thoughts. He didn’t want me there. I really thought I would be welcome at this house at any point, like they were at our house. Clearly I was wrong.
I peeked up back at his face and saw that he was concentrating really hard, his face contorting from the strain he was putting upon himself.
“Jacob, it’s okay if you don’t want me here. Really. I can go somewhere else. You probably have plans or something. I won’t interrupt.” I choked out the words and stood up abruptly, readying myself to leave.
Where was I going again?
“NO!” his eyes went wild, his brain running like crazy from the confusion.
“Bella, cut the crap. Sit down and tell me what happened” his voice was firm but his eyes were pleading with me.
What was going to tell him again?
Jacob didn’t know about my little “quirk” and I wasn’t sure if that was for the best or not. I really wanted to share what I knew with someone but I wasn’t sure if I could. This wasn’t exactly something that was easy to bring up. And besides, if I told him he was bound to ask how I knew. Who wouldn’t?
I sat down again slowly, stalling, and bit my lip roughly.
I could trust him, couldn’t I?
He was staring at me intently, waiting for me to finally speak and I decided to voice my worries.
“Jacob, I can trust you right?” I asked and stared at my intertwined fingers on my lap, to afraid to meet his eyes.
I felt his aggravation building up and hitting me in the face. I gritted my teeth and waited for his response.
Maybe I couldn’t. His mood was swinging like crazy. His slight anger and aggravation had died down and all I could feel from him now was hurt.
“Of course you can” he finally said, his voice soft now.
I drew a deep breath and looked up to face him.
“I’m not normal” I said quickly and looked everywhere but at him.
He chuckled lightly and smiled at me, not taking me seriously at all. How annoying. I didn’t even think of this when I pictured it mentally. Of course I would avoid the people-will-think-I’m-mental scenario.
“Bella…” he said patronizingly and just stared at me for awhile.
Was I really going to tell him this? Not even Charlie, my own dad, knew about it. And though I tried to suppress it, they fear of being looked at as a freak was haunting me. But how could it hurt?
It’s not like he was going to go around and tell people, I was sure of that. His loyalty towards was almost tangible and strong. He wouldn’t.
I sighed and continued before he started talking himself.
“Jake, I’m serious” I said and made my point by giving him a severe look.
He quickly reassembled his face and gave me a quizzically look while cocking his head to the right.
“Right now, you’re thinking about how absurd I am and how I’m making no sense to you” I said and darted my eyes to his, expecting a reaction.
He stiffened infinitesimally and then continued to gape at me.
“You’re thinking about your father and when he will be home from Harry Clearwater, his best friend. You want to make sure you can hear Harry’s car so you’ll be able to help him inside. And then you would like to know what he’s making for dinner ‘cause you’re really hungry. You’re also wondering if Billy will find out about you skipping school today” I breathed out as I finished and started clasping and unclasping my fingers as I do when I get nervous.
We didn’t say anything for a couple of minutes and the silence nearly deafened me. Maybe I shouldn’t have told him. Of course he would freak out like any other sane person. I could feel his discomfort and confusion while he processed what just happened. The worst part was that this was just a third of my little ability.
I could feel my own nerves building up. He wasn’t accepting me. He would throw me out to the wolves and let them eat me alive.
It was a lost cause.
I let my head drop in shame and regret for what I just did.
“How…” he whispered carefully.
I whipped my head to meet his face and the reaction it was holding and was met with his huge eyes, the curiosity in them so intense it could probably light a fire.
I smiled weakly at him and let out a gush of breath, relieved that he wasn’t glaring at me like I was some nut who’d just escaped the asylum.
He was confused though and a bit scared. I frowned as I thought of how to tell him about the rest. I couldn’t think anyway to break it to him so I just laid it on him like before.
“Jacob, don’t be afraid” I said my voice as soft and soothing as it could be and gave him a significant look. His eyes widened even more as I spoke and I just shrugged in response.
“How did you do all that?” he choked out, just as wary as before. He was walking on egg-shells here and he knew it.
Did I really want to tell him? This was my lifelong secret we were talking about! Was it really worth it? Things would probably never be the same between us again. I was just as tense as I was before in the classroom. Every muscle was strained and it was wearing me down. I stared back at Jacob and listened in to his thoughts like the little eavesdropper I was.
What the hell is she talking about? I always knew there was something weird about her but…
“Jacob, I haven’t told anyone this because honestly, I was afraid. And I need to know that I can trust you a hundred percent. Can I?” I was stalling and I knew it. If I wanted to I could just check if he was trustworthy or not myself. But I wanted him to tell me.
My heart was pounding like crazy again and I was extremely glad he wasn’t able to tell my nerves. His face twitched a bit as I said my words but he swiftly put on a neutral face.
“Yes” he said simply.
“Okay, don’t freak out me. I sort of have this ability” I said whispering.
He arched a brow but none of his other features changed one bit. His mouth was in a thin line, strained with the firmness he was putting on. His dark hair was falling down on his face but he didn’t care. His eyes were glowing, both from the secrecy and curiosity. I snickered and continued as he motioned me to keep talking.
He wouldn’t abandon me. I was beaming at this point. What was I afraid of again?
“I have these quirks. Yes, I know. In plural. Which is probably that weirdness you were referring to” I smiled at him as his eyes widened for the millionth time in the little time I had been there.
“What do you mean when you say ‘quirk’?” he asked dubiously, still a bit dumbfounded.
“What I mean is I can do things or rather see and feel and hear, things that other normal people wouldn’t.”
“Like what?” he eyed me suspiciously.
I smirked and tilted my head innocently. This was going well, he wasn’t feeling anywhere near disgusted or terrified or repulsed as I thought anyone would.
“What do think I can do?” I challenged, knowing he’d probably figured it out already.
A thoughtful expression overcame any other feelings and took over his face. I waited in patience and kept away from his thoughts as best as I could. Finally he spoke up.
“Well…” he hesitated and glanced up at me, still looking thoughtful. “I’m actually guessing you can read minds. That’s stupid, huh?” he was anxious, actually worrying about me judging him. The absurdity and silliness was just too much. I laughed out loud not caring what he thought at that moment. What kind of hypocrite did he think I was?
“Yeah, sure laugh at me Bella. Please do, I knew it was stupid…” he muttered, annoyed with himself now.
“No, no, no! Jake, I wasn’t laughing at your theory. Actually, you’re right. I do read minds. I was laughing at your feelings, you actually thought that I would judge you? Really? What were you thinking?”
“Oh. I don’t know, you tell me” he smirked in my direction before the light bulb went on for him.
“Bells, you said quirks. Is that with the feelings a part of the whole mindreading thing or… Would you just explain the whole deal? I’m sick of guessing” he said grinning playfully.
“Sure, sure Jake” I said, grinning right back at him.
The rain was splashing against my windows as I went even slower than usual. I was driving home after an intense couple of hours with Jake. The motor was roaring like it usual self and was creating a very disturbing humming sound. I smiled to myself sincerely happy about telling him everything.
Well, almost everything.
“So, you know this doesn’t explain why you came here looking like your dog died or something.”
He was right, it didn’t.
I glanced around nervously, avoiding his gaze carefully. My heart sank even thinking about that terrifying memory, the forbidden and dangerous things I now knew. I furrowed my brows and laced my fingers, thinking it through with new awareness. Did I really want Jake to get involved in this?
I was pretty sure this was something humans were not supposed to know about. How could they know? They’d be scared every minute of they’re lives. I didn’t want to put Jake through that. Not yet anyways, they boy had changes to go through. And maybe we would be able to discuss it at that point. Maybe.
I didn’t want to taint his youthful spirit or naïve mind. That would almost be as bad as killing him myself. He was destined for something bigger than humanity. A protector. I was already proud of him.
“Jake, I don’t think we can talk about that yet. Maybe later.”
He, as always, raised a brow questioning my evasion.
“Again, I’ll explain it all later. I swear” I threw in a reassuring smile to make him relax a bit.
I couldn’t tell him about them. It didn’t seem right. He wasn’t supposed to know and I wasn’t supposed to know either. It was their secret and I felt like a freaking spy stealing their secret right out of they’re minds. I was human and this was clearly not good. Even though I probably could go for something else, a witch maybe. This was a secret I was not allowed in on and it was bugging me.
What if they found out that I knew? They’d probably do something.
I shivered as I thought of the possibilities.
And flinched as I envisioned the pale creatures surrounding me, ending me.
Did I think that they would actually go that far?
Yes, I did.
They were after all vampires.
When I got home Charlie was still at work and was probably not getting back before a couple of hours. So I was alone.
Great. Exactly what I wanted.
Me and my thoughts then, I thought bitterly.
I trudged into the house, the rain still coming down like never before so I was of course drenched. I immediately ran up to my room and grabbed some dry clothes. I then made my way to the bathroom and shrugged out of clothes. I quickly jumped into the shower, the warm water soothing and caressing my skin after a long day. Like a good friend.
Soon enough I felt warm and toasty and my stomach growled with ferocity. In all my stress I had totally neglected my stomach, I hadn’t eaten anything.
I made my down to the kitchen and decide that I might as well make dinner for both Charlie and me.
Cooking was something that came easy to me and I didn’t exactly need to concentrate much. So the thoughts I had been ignoring and avoiding came floating back to me. I tried fighting it, singing and distracting myself but the extremely aggravating poking in my head just wouldn’t surrender. I sighed and huffed as I gave up.
Stupid, I reprimanded myself. All of this was my entire fault, why couldn’t I just stay away from his eyes?
Instead I went into the lion’s nest practically begging to be eaten.
Yeah, that sounds like me. Danger, danger come here…
But they wouldn’t really kill me, would they?
I felt my whole face contort in pain, how could such beautiful creatures kill anyone?
A week ago I was worrying about fitting in at this new school and look at me now; actually fearing for my own life. How did things get so screwed up? I shook my head because of the absurdity of it all but felt that I wasn’t able to shake away the worry.
They could quite easily kill me. Probably without anyone knowing too.
I felt the frown on my face as I considered this. They could kill me and get away with it. Was that fair?
Maybe I should look into his future…
The thought was inevitable and to be honest, reasonable. I should at least know was coming for me right? My feelings were running haywire as I tried to decide and justify my actions. My face was drained for blood and right then I was truly glad Charlie wasn’t home.
I stopped cutting the carrots and rubbed my face out of exhaustion. I was tired, mentally beaten all day. I stretched and let my limbs out of their tense positions. If I was going to be frank with myself, I had already decided I just needed to justify what I was about to do. I usually never lurked around in people’s memories or futures unless something significant was going to happen.
This was important though, right?
How could it not be? We were talking about my life here and maybe save Charlie by running away or something. The absolutely last thing I wanted was Charlie hurt because of me.
I felt the stabbing in my heart and breathed in and out for awhile, calming myself down.
Yes, I had to. For Charlie.
I closed my eyes and marveled for a second in the peace the darkness brought with it. I rubbed my temples furiously, preparing myself physically.
And began digging in Edward Cullen’s future.
I found him easily in the dark, naturally sticking out from the rest of the tedious humans. Of course. I scoffed.
I continued to prod, searching for his future.
It was blank, all of it. Not just the following day but all of it. He had no future?
This wasn’t possible, I had never had any problems with my “gift”. It always worked like a charm, there wasn’t words like ‘malfunction’ in its vocabulary. I rubbed my temples harder, my eyes still shut and focused like I never had before.
I singled him out again and pounced quickly at where his future should have been.
The place where there should have been tons of information on the upcoming events in the life of Edward Cullen was bizarrely blank and void. I stabbed at the sides with my mind and tried unveiling it. I desperately tried uncovering his future, begging some God that he was just unusually good at keeping his future activities a secret from me. Unfortunately for me, there was no veil. No nothing to uncover or reveal.
I exhaled loudly and my eyes flew open. I supported all of my weight with my hands on the counter, resting. The whole ordeal had taken a toll on me, not to mention my already low stamina at that point.
As I rested and breathed heavily, I thought it through.
Was that even possible, not having a future I mean? Cause that was the only conclusion I could come to at the moment. I saw everyone’s future and past as well as their thoughts and feelings. How come he was the only one I couldn’t see? It made no sense.
Right then I came to remember something that I hadn’t paid much thought to. And it hit me hard. My eyes widened and my breathing quickened. I couldn’t read Edward’s thoughts either.
I raked my fingers through my hair and puffed in aggravation. He was really starting to annoy me. First I can’t see his future and then I can’t read his mind either. Oh, yeah and they were probably going to kill me. I was defenseless.
Like I wasn’t anyway…
I sulked over my impending death and Charlie’s misery.
I glanced around and saw that it was twilight once again.
Why was I always miserable at the most beautiful and serene time of the day?
They sky was colored a faint purple and pink indicating that the sun had gone to sleep for now. Another day was over.
They were my antidote, they were immune to me. I couldn’t affect them at all, it was aggravating. The one time I really needed my God-given gift, it was useless. But I specifically remembered something being poured into my mind from Edward’s. Past events and memories.
I hadn’t been thinking of their pasts. I could probably see that. But why?
Because I was born with no luck, of course I can see the things that are completely useless for me...
I sighed and lowered my head, glaring at the counter beneath me. Sometimes I thought that I had done something really bad in a past life.
His past would do me no good.
My fists balled up by themselves and hit the counter, hard.
No good vampires…
My head snapped up as a thought passed though me. And considering my on-coming headache I knew I shouldn’t have. There was no reason to make matters worse. But I was infuriated and annoyed beyond belief. What was a little extra pain to what I had coming anyways?
They were going to kill me and probably go unpunished, the least I could do was take a peek at Edward’s precious memories. He was going to share his past, unwillingly. Just the way I would leave this world. My eyes were reduced to slits by now and I was fuming.
I rubbed my temples once more, massaging this time gently. I was sort of apologizing for the pain they would feel later on. I closed my eyes and started my rummaging.
His past was there alright.
And like I noticed the first time, he was born in another century altogether. 1901 to be precise and his ‘adoptive’ father changed him and made him what he was today seventeen years later. I wrinkled my nose at that. He was actually over a hundred years.
His life was being played before me like a motion picture and it was actually pretty entertaining. Edward had green and intense eyes as a human but the same unusual bronze colored hair. Every aspect of his life was being showed to me without apprehension and I felt a smile tugging at the corners. I at least had control over this. There was nothing he could do about it.
He lived a somewhat normal life and just as I was getting bored he got sick. The Spanish influenza. I remembered reading about at school and was astonished that he had actually lived that. I felt a slight tug in my heart but brushed it of quickly.
His beloved mother died right by his side while he was writhing in peaceful pain. I could feel the moisture filling up in the corners of my eyes. I was really getting emotional about the whole thing, feeling extremely sorry for Edward. It’s always hard losing a parent.
I swiped the tear rolling down my cheek with the back of my hand and continued with the flow of memories.
That’s when the pain began.
I fell to my knees, the sheer force of the pain overpowering me immediately. I clutched my torso by instinct and callously laid down on the kitchen floor.
“ARRRRRRRRRGH!” I growled and cried out, I had never experienced anything like that before. All rational thought had flown out the window.
It felt like a persistent stab of flame was piercing my heart over and over again just for the fun of it. The flames quickly spread to the rest of the body and I felt like I was being barbecued alive. My flesh being roasted and I almost thought I smelled it as well.
Still the heart was the worst, it was where everything started. The thing was beating in a pace faster than what I’d thought was possible. At each beat I thought it would explode from the force and I’d die for implosion.
The fire was still licking at my skin, my intestines and burning everything while I writhed in pain.
I growled as I took another blow to the heart and the little sadist causing all of this didn’t seem to be stopping.
I was going to die.
A long, painful and fiery death.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” I screamed out again and my eyes flew open by their own accord.
I was met with white. A white surface towering high above me.
I was in my kitchen.
That meant that all of this wasn’t…real?
The last couple of minutes before the gut-wrenching pain began came back to me and I recalled that it was all a part of his memories. Not real. I could will it away.
I bit mouth together and closed my eyes to focus again.
“ARRRRRH!” I growled and arched my back as I felt my heart nearly combusting and eyes almost flying out of their sockets.
I shut my eyes forcefully and strained my brain away from his treacherous memories. It was almost like running away from an invisible boogeyman in the dark. I kept tripping and he kept gaining on me. It was horrible and I wasn’t sure if I could do it. I kept straining, running from this hell.
At last I found my heaven and his memories vanished along with the impossible pain. I laid flat on my back on the cold tiles, panting like I had just run a marathon. I turned my face to press it against the tiles to cool myself down.
My heart was throbbing a bit from the ‘non-existing’ flame that burned itself into my memories and mind as well. And the thing was racing in an erratic beat, all over the place.
What was that?!, I asked myself after regaining my rational side.
Did he go through that excruciating experience? Who would do that to anyone? I wonder how long it lasted…
The thoughts were swirling around and making me slightly dizzy.
“Bella?” I heard Charlie’s voice coming in through the front door and swiftly stood up.
“Are you okay?” he said eying me dubiously.
From hell and back…
“Yeah, dad. I’m excellent” I said shaking my head in disbelief.
I still couldn’t believe anyone could endure so much pain, human or not. It was hell in its most basic forms.
I could still feel the torture and the feeling of my flesh burning. And that was just a memory, not even the real deal! I couldn’t even start to imagine what it would have been like for Edward. I shivered as the thought crossed my mind.
The endurance and will he must have had. Both physically and mentally. His memories brought tears to my eyes.
I was standing by my car in the school parking lot, leaning in to it and listening to my I-pod. No one had come to talk to me and I was forever grateful. Company was something I was not fit to be right now. They would probably inquire about my glum face and my decreased amount of talking. Something I did not want to share nor explain in anyway.
What was I going to say to them?
Oh, yeah yesterday a found out about vampires AND that they go to school! And then something wicked awesome happened, I used my freaky gift and almost died in a not real way! Great day, huh?
I shook my head and laughed to myself. That would be entertaining.
The bell would go off soon and I could go on with my dull classes and pretend like nothing happened. Including biology. I groaned as I thought of that. I was again begging all of the Gods that Edward wasn’t in his talkative mood. I sure wasn’t. I took out my earphones and stuck the I-pod in my pocket.
That’s when I heard the high-pitched screeching.
- Chapter One - Dead on Arrival
- Chapter Two - Forks High School
- Chapter Three - Turns
- Chapter Four - Waiting
- Chapter Five - Information
- Chapter Six - Confrontation
- Chapter Seven - Explanation
- Chapter Eight - Contamination
- Chapter Nine - Recognition
- Chapter Ten - Contemplation
- Chapter Eleven - Fixation
- Chapter Twelve ? Confusion
- Mallory Marvel
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- 23 May 09
- 04 Aug 10
- In Progress