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Begging

Summary:
Did you wonder what would have happend if Bella had never jumped off the cliff? If Alice never came? If Jacob had kissed her that day at her house before the funeral? Edward finally comes back, but will Bella take him back? How will Jake take it? What will happen when they recieve an unexpected visitor... CHAPTER 3 IS HERE!!!


Notes:
I own nothing...nada...zilch...all characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I kept the first chapter as close to the book as possible so you might see parts of New Moon in this story. Thanks for everyone who reviews...the keep me going....


1. Strange Feelings

Rating 0/5   Word Count 587   Review this Chapter

“I do not like the way things are.” I pouted

Jacob freed one arm so that he could cup his big brown hand under my chin so that he could cup his big brown hand under my chin and make me look at him. “Yeah. It was easier when we were both human, wasn’t it?”

I sighed.

We stared at each other for a long moment. His hand smoldered against my skin. In my face, I knew there was nothing but wistful sadness—I didn’t want to have to say goodbye now, no matter for how short a time. At first his face reflected mine, but then, as neither of us looked away, his expression changed.

He released me, lifting is other hand to brush his fingertips along my cheek, trailing them down to my jaw. I could feel his fingers tremble—not with anger this time. He pressed his palm against my cheek, so that my face was trapped between his burning hands.

“Bella,” he whispered

I was frozen.

No! I hadn’t made this decision yet. I didn’t know if I could do this, and now I was out of time to think. But I would have been a fool if I thought rejecting him now would have no consequences.

I stared back at him. He was not my Jacob, but he could be. His face was familiar and beloved. In so many real ways, I did love him. He was my comfort, my safe harbor. Right now, I could choose to have him belong to me.

True love was forever lost. The prince was never coming back to kiss me awake from my enchanted sleep. I was not a princess, after all. So what was the fairy-tale protocol for other kisses? The mundane kind that didn’t break any spells?

Maybe it would be easy—like holding his hand or having his arms around me. Maybe it would feel nice. Maybe it wouldn’t feel like a betrayal. Besides, who was I betraying anyway? Just myself.

Keeping his eyes on mine, Jacob began to bend his face toward me. And I was still absolutely undecided. Then his lips touched mine. It was strange at first. These were not the lips that I was used to, they were soft, my lips didn’t form around them but they held their own. Jacob kissed me once, twice, three times, each one soft and sweet. Why wasn’t I stopping this? I wasn’t stopping it because it did feel easy. For the first time in months I felt nearly whole.

No. I couldn’t do this. Not yet…I wasn’t ready. What if this ruined everything that our friendship was based on? It would kill me if I lost Jacob too. “Jacob.” I said pushing him away from me. “I…I can’t…”

He looked down at the floor. “I get it Bella, but I had to try. I’d better get going.”

“Jacob…”I said almost in tears.

“Don’t worry Bells…I’m not going to give up that easy.” He said bringing his warm hand to cup my face. “I’ll wait.” And then he left.

Why didn’t I tell him? Did I want him to suffer more? Did I secretly want to egg him on? No. I didn’t. I wanted to be truthful with him, the next time I see him I have to tell him, that it isn’t going to matter how much time he gives me. I won’t ever be whole again. A part of me was missing. And I knew exactly what part it was. It’s my heart.