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Begging

Summary:
Did you wonder what would have happend if Bella had never jumped off the cliff? If Alice never came? If Jacob had kissed her that day at her house before the funeral? Edward finally comes back, but will Bella take him back? How will Jake take it? What will happen when they recieve an unexpected visitor... CHAPTER 3 IS HERE!!!


Notes:
I own nothing...nada...zilch...all characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I kept the first chapter as close to the book as possible so you might see parts of New Moon in this story. Thanks for everyone who reviews...the keep me going....


2. Forgiveness

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 1709   Review this Chapter

EPOV

It was torture. It couldn’t be described as anything less than that. Why I kept asking myself. Why put myself through all of this? For her that’s why. She was the reason. She was every reason. I had to make it safe for her. I closed my eyes. That was a mistake. Every time I did I saw her beautiful face. It would have kept me going if it had been a different expression that was placed there if it had been happiness, but no it was hurt, it was pain, and it was rejection that was there. Worse of all I had created it. I tired to will my eyes open, to force the image back into my subconscious but they would no longer oblige.

I was loosing it, my grip on reality. These last few days had been the worst. I had begun to see her everywhere. Every little thing was a reminder of some sort, a sound, a movement, an image. It had been months. At the beginning I was able to push through and focus on tracking Victoria, but I was hitting a dead end on more than just the trail. I don’t think I had moved in days. I couldn’t find Victoria and with out the tracking it felt like I had nothing left. I knew that it was only a matter of time before I would have to go back to Forks. At that thought my chest began to ache. And the image of Bella came back into my mind. That was it. Before I even thought twice I was moving, running, sprinting toward the airport.

I was acting without thought. It was like a pull that lead me, completely instinctual, lead by the emptiness from inside my chest. It wasn’t until I was on the plane that I thought about things. What would I say to her? What could I possibly say or do to explain my horrid behavior? What right did I have to even hope for forgiveness? I was unworthy of her. She was an angel, pure and wonderful, and I tore her from the sky. What if it was more than that? What if she did forgive me, but if she had actually…move on? Could I accept that? Would I? Yes. I answered myself. I had to. I would have to. I needed her in my life in whatever capacity I could be. I spent of the rest of the flight in thought. Thinking trough what I would say.

When I got off the plane in Seattle I dialed a number I hadn’t in moths. “Alice.” I said in the mouth piece.

“Edward, I saw. Welcome back.”

“Yes.”

“We’re still in Denali but we’re on our way back.”

“Okay.”

“Edward...”

“Yes.”

“Good luck.”

“Thanks.” I hung up the phone. I ran from the airport toward Forks. I had an idea of what I was going to say but I knew that as soon as I saw Bella I would loose every word I had prepared. I stopped only quickly to hunt. I did not want to be thirsty when I saw Bella after so long. It was only about two hours later that I stopped in the woods behind Bella’s house. I would have burst through the door right away but what I smelled and what I heard stopped me dead in my tracks. A Werewolf.

“Okay…I have to do this now, or I’ll never do it.” I saw Bella’s face in his thoughts, she looked vaguely like how I remembered her, but she seemed empty. Her eyes that had once had a light of their own looked dead and flat. He reached up and held her face. “Come on Jacob you can do this.” “Bella” was all he said. Then he leaned his face down and his lips met hers. I froze. I didn’t dare move a muscle in fear that I would tear into the house and rip in to pieces. I had no right to do so. Bella was no longer mine, she had the right to kiss whoever she wanted. “Please respond…” He begged with thoughts as he brought his lips to meet hers as second and a third time.

Suddenly she pushed him away. “Jacob…” she said weakly.

“I knew it. Too soon.” I was bolted to the ground beneath me.

“I…I can’t…” she tried to explain.

“Stupid Blood sucker…If he had never met her…she would have liked that kiss…I hate him.” “I get it Bella, but I had to try. I’d better get going.” I saw her face in his mind. The tears were on the brim…ready to spill over. She whispered his name. “Jake don’t be stupid. You’re not mad at her…don’t take it out on her…it’s not her fault that he destroyed her.” Don’t worry Bells…I’m not going to give up that easy. I’ll wait.” Then he left. I retreated farther into the woods. I saw him step out of the house and smell the air. “What is that? Vampire?” he spun around to the woods. He couldn’t see me. “She’ll be fine. I’ve got to get to the funeral.” He climbed in his car and I waited until I heard him turn off of Bella’s road.

I scanned the house quickly, looking for Bella’s father. I couldn’t hear him anywhere. I did however hear sobbing coming from Bella’s room. Bella was crying. Why? I looked around, the neighborhood seemed abandoned. Bella’s window was open. This was my chance. I jumped up and flew into Bella’s room. She was there lying across her bed. She heard the light thud of my landing. She looked up with a gasp. Tears staining her face. As I had predicted at the first sight of her I completely forgot what I was planning on saying to her.

“Edward?” she said so softly I wasn’t sure that I heard her correctly. But that fixed me to where I stood. She sat there staring. I stood stunned, rememorizing her face. “What are…did I…Did I fall asleep? I have to be dreaming.” She said closing her eyes.

Finally I found my lips. But “Bella…” was all I could manage to say. Finally I seemed to remember how to form other words. “No…you’re not dreaming.”

“I have to be…you’re…you’re here. I know that can’t be…can’t be the truth.” I could see the hurt on her face as she spoke the words. Tears started once more pouring down her face. The sight of that willed my feet to move I ran to her. I stopped short. I reached up and touched her face, sweeping away the salty wetness from her checks. She leaned in slightly to my touch. It gave me hope…maybe…just maybe this would work. She reached a hand up and touched my face. The warmth was amazing. I instantly wanted more, but mere seconds after our skin touched she pulled away and walked to the other side of the room. “You’re real…You’re here. I’m not asleep.”

She wound her arms around herself her hands gripping onto her sides. It looked as if she was trying to hold herself together. “No you’re not.”

“Why?” she said turning to face me. Her face was a mixture of sadness, fear and heartbreak. “Why are you here?”

“Bella…I…” I couldn’t formulate a sentence. She stood there waiting. “Bella…What I did was…It was…it was so wrong. I never should have left. I was stupid. I thought that it would make it safer for you…I should have known that it was not possible. You need to know…you should know that I left because of you...” there was no response from Bella, only her stiffening slightly. “Bella I lied to you. There will never be a day that goes by when I don’t love you. I left…I left to track Victoria, to get rid of her…I followed a faulty trail to South America. I was there before I came here. I couldn’t take it anymore…Bella I had given up trying to get through one second without you…” She uncrossed her arms and sunk into the rocking chair on the far side of the room. “Bella before you my life was like the darkest night, though there were stars, lights points of reason and goodness. And then you flew across my sky like a comet. When you were gone it was like I was blind. I couldn’t see anything anymore. I was blinded by your light.”

“Your eyes will adjust.” She spoke weakly.

“That’s just it Bella…I don’t think they will.” She closed her eyes and looked away from me shaking her head. I moved from where I stood and was on my knees at her feet. “Bella…” I tried to get her to look at me. She refused to comply.

“I knew I was dreaming.” She finally said. How could she still think that she was imagining all of this.

“You aren’t dreaming. I’m here in front of you on my knees begging Bella…begging for your forgiveness. I know I have no right to expect it, but could you find it in your heart?”

“That’s just it…this wouldn’t happen in real life…only in my head.” I made up my mind to convince her that she was awake. I reached for her face. “Please don’t.” was all she had to say to stop me.

I had to ask. “Why?”

“It’s going to be bad enough.”

“Is it just that? Or have you moved on like I meant for you to? That would be completely fair. I wouldn’t contest your decision. Just tell me if your feelings have changed.

“Edward…” she finally opened her eyes and looked into mine. They softened slightly. “I never stopped loving you.”

“That’s all I needed.” And with that I pulled her lips to mine. It was amazing the feeling. It was better than I had remembered it to be. She just sat there for a minute and then I felt her respond. After a few minutes we pulled apart, our breathing now ragged.

She looked at me strangely for a moment. “You really are here.” And she moved her hand to place it on my face and with a touch of her hand I was whole again