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Begging

Summary:
Did you wonder what would have happend if Bella had never jumped off the cliff? If Alice never came? If Jacob had kissed her that day at her house before the funeral? Edward finally comes back, but will Bella take him back? How will Jake take it? What will happen when they recieve an unexpected visitor... CHAPTER 3 IS HERE!!!


Notes:
I own nothing...nada...zilch...all characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I kept the first chapter as close to the book as possible so you might see parts of New Moon in this story. Thanks for everyone who reviews...the keep me going....


3. Dreaming

Rating 0/5   Word Count 1489   Review this Chapter

BPOV

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, what I was feeling. He was here in my room. On his knee’s in front of me.

“You aren’t dreaming. I’m here in front of you on my knees begging Bella…begging for your forgiveness. I know I have no right to expect it, but could you find it in your heart?”

Was I imagining all of this? I had to be. “That’s just it…this wouldn’t happen in real life…only in my head.” Suddenly he reached was tilting his head closer to mine. I had to stop him. “Please don’t.” I said.

“Why?”

“It’s going to be bad enough.”

He pulled away to look at me. “Is it just that? Or have you moved on like I meant for you to? That would be completely fair. I wouldn’t contest your decision. Just tell me if your feelings have changed.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Surely he knew that he had my heart, I thought that it was clear. “Edward…” I said with amazement in my voice. But when I opened my eyes and found his staring at me I felt my resolve breaking. “I never stopped loving you.”

He reached for me and said, “That’s all I needed.” And with that I pulled his lips to mine. It had been so long since I had felt this. When his lips touched mine I felt my heart flutter like it hadn’t in months. I was a little shocked by the force of his emotion it was a few minutes before my body began to react, but as soon as it did I felt the electricity that had once been there, my body was starved for his and after a few minutes I had to pull away to calm my ragged breathing. I was amazed to find that his was the same.

I studied him closely for a moment. His eyes were a dark yellow. I knew from this that he had eaten but not enough. My dream Edwards were usually better fed and cleaner for that matter. His hair was more disheveled than usual and he looked like he was in need of change of clothes. Could it possibly be that he is really here? Really here in my room and he wants me back. “You really are here.” I finally said, now realizing the truth in my own statement. I moved my hand and placed it lightly on his cheek. I felt him inhale through his nose and my once favorite smile creep across his lips.

“Yes. I’m really here.”

“Why?”

“Like I said…I tried, but I couldn’t stay away from you. Your face, your voice, your sent, it was that and only that, that kept me going for as long as I did. I had to come back. I wanted…no I needed to see you so badly.”

During his whole speech I couldn’t help but get a little upset. He needed to see me? How about how much I needed to see him in the last few months…after I had resorted to egging on my hallucinations just to hear his voice. “You needed?” I asked skeptically.

“Bella…” He began to say calmly but I interrupted him.

“No…wait…do you have any idea what I’ve been through these last few months Edward? Do you have any idea? When you left it was like I died inside Edward. I died.” I couldn’t’ help but see him flinch at my description. I continued, “I couldn’t do anything. My dad…my dad almost sent me back to live with my mom. The doctors were throwing words around like catatonic. So I pretended to be okay…to get by. Then I found Jake.”

“The boy?” He asked quietly.

This threw me how could he possibly know Jacob Black. “How did you know about…”

“When I got here…there was a boy here…I recognized him as one of the boys from the reservation.”

So he got here a little earlier than he came in, so he must have seen…oh…he must have seen Jake kiss me. “Oh. Yes. That’s him.”

His eyes were on the floor as he spoke up. “Do you love him?” He asked so quietly I didn’t really know if I should have heard him or not.

I couldn’t deny it; I wasn’t that good of a liar. So I told the truth “Yes.” I almost immediately regretted what I had said.

Edward chuckled once, a deep chuckle that I didn’t recognize. “I see. I guess I deserve it. It was presumptuous of me to assume that you’d be waiting for me.”

I couldn’t even believe what I was hearing. Did he honestly think that I no longer had feelings for him? “Edward…I was waiting for you. Every day…I waited for you. Hoping that I would wake up from this nightmare that I was having and you’d be here in my room with me again. But you never came back Edward. It was just like you said. ‘It would be as though I never existed’, except Edward…” I had to tell him. For some reason I felt like he had to know. “When you left, you took my heart with you. It’s always been yours and no one else’s.”

“I don’t understand. Then what about…”

“Jake?” I asked for him. He nodded once and then I explained. “Edward…Jake is like family to me. He was there to help patch me up. He was honestly the only one who could make me smile, and laugh and feel remotely human. I care for him…but like a brother. I know it is more to him, but no more to me. It couldn’t be, because in my eyes true love was already lost and was never coming back.”

“Is that why you pushed him away?” He asked curiously.

“I should have known that you would have been listening.” I accused him. “More or less…yes that’s why I pushed him away.”

“So you’re not…”

“No Edward. I’m not in love with Jake…”

“Why do I have a feeling there is a but coming?”

But I don’t know if I can be in love with you either.” What was I saying? My mouth was moving but it wasn’t connected to my brain. How could I not be in love with Edward? He was my whole life. He was my reason for living. But he had hurt me…bad…he had lied to me before and told me that he no longer loved me. It could be possible that he was lying to me now. So maybe my brain was connected to my mouth after all. I was afraid. That’s what it was. I was afraid that he was lying to me again that he was going to hurt me again. I looked up to his eyes and saw the tears that would never come.

“I see.” He managed softly.

I couldn’t stand to see him hurt. So I couldn’t tell him exactly why…so I settled for half of the truth. “I just think that I need time…to think…to gather my feelings and my thoughts and figure out what I’m going to do.”

“Of course. I…I uh…I understand Bella. I do. I really do. But so you know I’ll wait for you. Even if it takes you forever…I’ll wait for you.” He reached his hand up and placed it on my cheek forcing me to look at him. “I love you Bella Swan and I’m not going anywhere.” He finished strongly.

I didn’t know what to say…I finally managed to form a sentence which I barely croaked out. “I really hope you mean that Edward, because I don’t think I couldn’t take it if…”

“I mean it Bella. I mean it with every fiber of my being. I won’t leave you…ever again. I will be back…tonight? Tomorrow? When ever you want me, I’ll be here.”

“Why not tomorrow.” I said and he dropped his hand from my face. “Then we can talk.”

“Okay.” He said and he turned toward my window to leave. But just when he reached the frame he spun around. “Just one more thing…” He said and he caught me up in the most passionate kiss that I had ever felt before. If the house would have burned down, I don’t think I would have known or cared. His hands moved down my sides to the small of my back and pulled me closer to him and my arms wound around his neck and my hands clung to his hair. When I broke away from his mouth to breath he whispered in my ear. “I’ll be here.” And with that he was gone.

“What am I going to do?” I asked myself breathless and touching my lips that were still tingling with the electricity. What was I going to do? I had no clue, but I had better figure it out soon. And with that I collapsed back on my bed.