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Edward leaves Bella, none of the Jacob events in new moon happened. The Volturi find out a human (Bella) was aware of them, so they come for her. They have a new member of the guard, one with and ability that Bella isn’t immune to. Edward snapped and came for her, he finds out she died, but he suspects otherwise. Thirteen years later, and Bella is a trained member of the Volturi guard, loyal, important, enslaved…

I had to combine almst all of the chapters into one because i'm kinda impatient. oh well...

1. Chapter 1-13

Rating 5/5   Word Count 14705   Review this Chapter

Bella’s Point of View

“Ella! Pay attention!” Azuria snapped.

“Yes ma’am.” I said quickly, not wanting her to hurt me. I wasn’t allowed to call her by her nickname, Zury, so I avoided accidents by thinking only of her full name and calling her “ma’am” as much as possible. I crouched in front of Felix, letting my instincts take over. Terrifying snarls ripped through the training tower as we lunged at each other.

One minute later and Felix won again, I was pinned to the ground…again. If I wasn’t an important member of the guard, I’d be dead.

But that doesn’t mean I can’t be punished, “Ella!” Zury yelled, frustrated at me again. I flinch, knowing what was coming next, “Come here!” I got up and ran over to my master quickly, it was always worse if I kept her waiting.

She held her hands out and I gave mine to her, along with everything else.

I screamed out in pain as electricity flew through my body. Real electricity. Nothing mental about it. I fell to the ground as the zaps rang through, the power making me shake. I begged for it to stop, wishing they would just rip me up and burn me already. I’d sooner go through the transformation to a vampire again than go through this, and do it with a smile!

The pain ceased and I lay gasping on the ground at master’s feet, wondering if they killed me after all. Usually it was longer.

I looked up and Azuria was smiling down on me, “I’m feeling merciful,” she explained. How nice of her.

Not only was she nice but she was painfully beautiful. Her long blond hair fell in large ringlets down to the bottom of her back. She was the same height as me and had pixy-like features. I flinched as I took a confidence blow.

Then I quickly thanked her.

“Now listen up,” she began, “Alec will be babysitting you for me while Aro sends me on an errand. I’ll be back in about four months, you will listen to him and do as he says. He is not as merciful as me.” I flinched, remembering the last time Alec had to train me.

It was about fourteen years ago, when I was still a stupid, wild, newborn. My old views of hating Azuria were laughable now, she was wonderful, she is wonderful. It was also stupid of me to accuse them of calling me “Ella” to take away my personality, it was just easier. And if my master’s lives were easier, then I was doing my job. I couldn’t even remember what I was called before, not that it mattered.

“It wasn’t pleasant” is a deep understatement of my time with Alec.

I walked into the tower with him waiting there for me. I glared at him.

“Ella,” he greeted.

“My name isn’t ‘Ella’!” I snapped. He glared at me. When nothing happened, I yelled at him, “Ha! Doesn’t work genius!”

Then he ran over and slapped me, not that it hurt, it was just demeaning.

The rest of the year was nearly the same.

I’m lucky that Azuria put up with me. Lucky that she molded me to the loyal guard member I am today. “I know you don’t enjoy my absence, but Aro demanded it.” She continued, “You’re to stay in the feeding tower while you wait for Alec to get you. Heidi promised to bring you a snack.” My mood lifted, “snack” usually meant a child. I enjoyed them because they were rarely tainted by drugs and other filth. It was easy to get them, the human parents usually didn’t notice the children were gone until much later, stupid and foul animals they were.

“Goodbye, master. I will obey your orders.” I said.

“Very good,” She said, “You have very much improved since you came here Ella, you aren’t as wild as you were.”

I was shocked, she usually never mentioned my early days here. But I remained composed, so her complement wasn’t wasted. I nodded and she left the tower. I began to walk to the feeding tower.

What was my name before. It’s very odd how I’d forgotten.

No. Not important.

I was walking past one of the rooms when I’d heard Aro’s and Azuria’s voices.

“Zury, are you and Felix ready to go?” Aro asked.

“Yes Aro, we’re ready to head to the Cullen’s.” She answered. For some reason that name was familiar, how odd…

“Tell Carlisle I said hello, and give Alice and Edward our offer again, will you dear?” Those names hurt, though I had no idea why…

“Of course.”

They never noticed me there, that was odd, but they never had to be alert here, so it wasn’t unexpected.

I ran to the tower, so they wouldn’t know I was there.

Two minutes after I walked through the door, Azuria came in.

“I have talked to Aro and we feel that you are loyal enough. You are to come with Felix and I on the errand, you will be a great asset against them.”

I was glowing with pride, she knew I was loyal.

Then Heidi came in, a small child about nine on her heels.

Edward’s Point of View

Thirteen years earlier

I sat in that filth hole in a crappy part of Spain.

Pointless. Worthless. Meaningless. Stupid. Monster. All easy words to describe me.

If I go back, will it help? If I go back, will it heal? If I go back, will I be forgiven? If I go back, will she be there? More importantly, if I go back, will she love me?

The obvious answer was yes. That beautiful eighteen year old girl offered me her soul, her life, her love. But…I threw it away, I left her weak, vulnerable. She probably found someone else…

A horrid ripping growl echoed through the room, it startled me, then stopped. I listened, no one was here. It came from me…

The thought of Bella finding someone else was painful. Like someone dropped an anvil on me, crushing and holding me down to the point where I couldn’t breath.

I can’t take it! I don’t care if she's better off! I don’t care if it’s selfish! I’m going back!

The idea was so healing, it had to be the right thing to do! It just had to!

My cell phone rang, blaring annoyingly through the tiny room. Alice.

“Leave me alone.” I said to the phone, not caring if it was crazy. I took it in my hand and crushed it, I didn’t want to be interrupted, and I didn’t care if Alice was mad. I was heading back home.

Edward’s Point Of View

I sat down on the couch in my room. We were trying out Cold Bay, Alaska. It had a very low population, it was cold so no one would notice if we were, it wouldn’t be a big deal if we moved, most people don’t stay here more than a year, and we could pretend to be older.

I flipped out my new cell phone -Alice was mad that I ignored her call of encouragement and got revenge by cracking a few “talks to cell phone” jokes, the insensitive little brat- and checked the date.

September thirteenth. Today Bella would be thirty-two, if she weren’t dead.

It was a car accident fourteen years ago, her body broken beyond recognition. My first thought was to go the Volturi, but why bother when a pack of fresh werewolves sprang up?

As soon as I crossed the line, the werewolves had me surrounded right away, the smell made me want to throw up. The leader, Sam, asked me why I did it. I was so dead I told him that Bella was gone so I had nothing left to live for.

“What are you talking about, you stupid leech? Bella’s not dead, not in that sense!” one of them thought.

“How do you know? You don’t even know her.” I asked.

“I’ve known Bella my whole life!” he yelled in his head. So this was the rat that blabbed to Bella about us. Someone who has to uphold the treaty. Nice. “The other bloodsuckers took her before we could do anything.”


“I don’t know, some really tiny girl and a huge guy,” another thought, “I don’t know how but one of them could hurt us without even coming near us.” They all shuttered at the memory. I saw an image of Jane and Demetri from the Volturi in they’re heads.

So Bella’s not dead, not like that anyway. I tried to go after her, bring her back or die, but Alice always got wave of the idea first. She had Emmett and Jasper literally hold me back while Carlisle told me how stupid it was and that I could get Bella killed too.

Carlisle thought of a way to get them to come to us, he deliberately spread word that we let newborns loose. Hopefully that was enough to draw them close.

Bella’s Point Of View

“Ella hurry up!” Felix yelled from in front of me. Felix, Azuria, Demetri, Jane (who both ended up coming), and I were running from the airport to outside of Cold Bay, Alaska, and, of course, I was trailing behind.

“Yes, sir,” I said, pushing myself harder.

He chuckled, it was always funny to him that I called him “sir”. He didn’t like it, but he didn’t hate it. For some odd reason, Felix was always infatuated with me, but I never felt that way about him. Most of the time he respected that, and was good with being one of my only friends, but every now and then, it got awkward.

Like last week. We were talking (which he tries to do every now and then to get me away from Azuria) and he tried to kiss me, I pulled away and he shrugged with a “I’ll be patient,” then continued the conversation as if nothing had happened.

Only something did happen. With me. For him, it was the same as always, for me, completely different. This time, I’d come really close to letting him.

I almost regretted it. Felix was really good looking. And nice. But something about him repels me away. It has to be me, all the other girls are jealous that he likes me, not them. So it has to be me.

“Felix?” I asked, hesitantly.

He turned around and smiled at me, “Yes, Ella?”

I bit my lip, Azuria, Jane, and Demetri were still turned around, waiting impatiently. I wrote “I need to talk to you.” in sign language to him.

“Zury,” he said, “I need to talk to Ella alone for a moment,”

She whirled around, “B-”

“It will only be a moment, thank you,” he grabbed my arm, pretending to be rough for Azuria’s sake, and dragged me a few miles away.

“What is Ella?” he asked, his eyes gentle.

I took a deep, unneeded breath, wrapped my arms around his neck, and kissed him. Our lips moved in synchronization. He was gentle and caring as his arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me closer to him.

It was great, but there was a whisper-no, quieter than that, an echo in the back of my head that didn’t like it, that was saying I’d had so much better. I quickly smothered it and clutched him closer.

We separated after a while, our breathing rough.

“What brought all this on?” he asked.

I really didn’t know, so I gave him the best answered I could, “I woke up,”

He laughed, “I don’t think I’ll ever understand you, Ella. C’mon let get back before the others start grumbling.”

“Yes, sir!” I saluted him.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me to him, “Darn, you have to call me ‘sir’ still don’t you?”

I nodded, “Master won’t like this. I feel like a traitor doing something she doesn’t like me doing,”

“Well I’m her superior, I won’t let her hurt you anymore, it really hurt's me when she harms you,” he said.

I gasped, “No! I need to be punished sometimes! I’m lucky she made me the person I am today!” I realized who I was talking to and panicked, “Oh my gosh! I’m sorry! I forgot my place! I-”

He put his hand over my mouth, “You’re place is next to me. Now come on.” He took my arm like before, kissed my forehead, and lead me back to Azuria, Jane, and Demtri.

Edward’s Point Of View

It was only minutes now, Alice has been counting down. I began scanning the forest at the end of the field, I could hear them bickering, they weren’t far now.

Anna, a newborn who came to us for help was standing next to Jasper. She was annoyed with his hovering but, dealt with it, knowing he meant well. She was focused on trying to avoid her craving for blood at the moment.

Another newborn was next to her, she was wandering in Seattle when we found her, Carlisle insisted on trying to save her too. We still haven’t learned her name.

I couldn’t wait to take Bella back in my arms and tell her how much I’d missed her, how much I loved her, and how sorry I was. I couldn’t wait to kiss her, to have her here with me, to have my fourteen year long dream come true.

Out of nowhere, Alice froze.

It was the Volturi. One by one they came out. Jane first, then Demetri, next a new female, then Felix and…Bella. She was smiling and laughing, so happy.

Only seconds left.

It was weird to see this, but it was what I wanted…

I began scanning the field more anxiously, I needed to see her, to the point of pain. Its been fourteen years, too long.

Then they came, it was the vision, but then it quickly turned into a nightmare.

Bella’s Point Of View

We glided out into the field.

Azuria was upset because Felix told her about us, and that she wasn’t my master anymore, so she had a horrid frown on her face that made me hurt to see. She needed to be happy, I was failing my job.

Jane lead us out, followed by an annoyed Demetri, Azuria, then Felix and I. Felix muttered something unintelligible about future and an annoying vision pixy. It made me laugh, it was so random.

Felix smiled at me, and grabbed my hand, he pulled me to him and kissed me enthusiastically. I automatically tangled my hands on his hair.

Then I pulled away, “We have to stay professional,” I laughed. He settled for holding my hand.

I went on alert. There were five females, two were a newborns, and four males. They rang a bell, but I ignored that and focused on my job.

We spread out in front of them, one male was starting at me, it made me uncomfortable.

“Carlisle,” Jane greeted.

“Jane,” A male who must be Carlisle answered; It was then that I noticed they’re strange gold eyes.

A growl came from the staring male as his head whipped to face Felix, both sank into a crouch and I crouched down too to defend my mate.

He stared at me, shocked, and straightened, so did Felix and I.

“What’s his problem?” I asked my mate.

“He can read minds, he doesn’t like you and I together. For some reason, he’s jealous and wants you.” He turned and smiled at me, “Though, you’re so beautiful it’s not surprising,”

I was shocked, “Read minds?”

He nodded.

I pulled out my shield to cover everyone of my teammates, this must have been what Jane meant by great asset. I couldn’t be harmed by anything mental, I have a private mind, and I could spread it and share that protection with whoever I choose.

The staring male’s jaw dropped and his eyes grew wide.

“Edward,” A blond female snapped at him.

He focused and muttered, “Sorry, Rosalie.”

“It appears you have let a few newborn lose, Carlisle,” Jane said, bringing me back to the real issue.

“It is not as it seems, w-”

“I don’t care, you broke a law,” she said, “I see two newborns here,” she turned to the first, “Your name?”

“Anna, ma’am.” She answered.

“And you’re here to be with the Cullen’s?”

“Yes,” She said, “I’m a new member of they’re coven,”

Jane nodded and turned to the other, “Name?”

The other glared at her, Jane smiled. The girl’s screams filled the field, I smiled, she deserved to be punished for her actions.

The screaming ceased, “Name.”

“Nicole,” the newborn gasped.

“And were you created by the Cullen’s?” Azuria said.

“Yes! Yes! Whatever you say!” She screamed.

Jane looked at Carlisle, “There is no excuse,”

“It’s not as it seems,” Carlisle repeated, “We w-”

“Ella,” my head snapped up to her, “Take care of it,” she waved to the two newborns.

I crouched down and leaped at Nicole, it only took seconds to kill the surprised girl. The other ran behind a huge male as I pulled out a lighter and clicked it at the pile, watching in satisfaction as it burned.

I was about to go to the other when suddenly I was pinned to the ground by Edward. I growled, “I’ll kill you too, criminal.” I hissed at him.

Felix lunged at him and had him on the ground next to me, I stood up, “Kill him,” I said.

“Bella, don’t!” one of the females yelled, she was the tiny one.

Felix froze. I turned to the female, pleading in her eyes, “It’s me, Alice,” she said.

I looked down at Edward in confusion. He was staring at me with a pained expression, I couldn’t understand it. Not only was it pained, but it was…regretful.

My eyes narrowed as I concentrated on remembering. “Edward?” I murmured.

Bella's Point Of View

Relief flew across his face, though I had no idea why. “That is you’re name right? Edward?” I asked, regaining composure and feeling a strange thrill saying that name. He didn’t answer, I got sick of waiting and watching his now dead expression, “Jane.”

He started to writhe on the ground, but no scream. That was odd, usually they were wailing. He stopped.

“Is it or is it not your name?” I asked.

“It is,” he said.

“Then Edward,” he looked up at me, “Please don’t get in our way, Aro wouldn’t like us to kill a talent such as yours, but I won’t hesitate.” I turned to the girl, “No, Alice, I don’t know you, and I don’t know how I would.”

“I’m practically your sister!” She yelled.

“I’m sorry, you’re mistaken,” I told her, carefully pronouncing every work like I was talking to a five-year-old, she was so tiny I wouldn’t be surprised if I was. An immortal child, that’s two laws, “I always have been with the Volturi. So unless you have broken other laws, then I don’t see how I would know you.”

I turned to Carlisle, horror from my last action was still on his face.

“Bring the newborn.” I said.

Edward stood up; Felix was back by my side. Edward clenched his teeth, “No, Bella,”

“My name is not Bella, it’s Ella,” I said, livid now. Why couldn’t he get it through his thick head? It was stupid of me to overreact, but I was so annoyed I didn't care.

He shook his head, “No, it is Bella.”

Before I could answer, Azuria ran over and put her hand to his throat.

This time he screamed, I smiled in satisfaction. I only wished I could do that myself.

The next thing I knew, I was grabbed from behind by the big one. He pinned me to the ground. Crap. I was starting to get scared, there were so many of them.

Azuria lowered her hand and stepped back.

“I’ll tell you what,” Felix said, “We come back tomorrow, and we’ll let you talk. Everyone is a little upset and we don’t want a fight.” His pitch was rising with the panic; he didn’t want me to get hurt.

“How do we know they won’t run?” Jane snapped.

“We take one of theirs with us.” He said.

“How do we know you won’t kill them,” the one on top of me hissed.

I growled and struggled. The blond male came over and took me. He pulled me into a position that was impossible to get out of. As soon as he touched me, I was calm, but alert somehow, as if he wanted me to notice something.

“Why, you can take one of us, of course.” Azuria said, sweetly, staring at Edward, “Why not Ella?” Edward nodded slightly but no one else noticed, no one else was staring at him like me.

“What?!” Felix yelled, projecting the thoughts of all of us.

I nodded to him, showing him I could handle it. His face had reluctance and pain written all over it.

The one that was on top of me snorted, “Right.”

“No, Emmett,” Edward said, “They need her, her ability really helps them. It’s all in their heads, they’re terrified to let her go with us.”

I gasped, noticing that I’d let my shield down. I snapped it back up and Edward stumbled back like he’d just been slapped.

Then he grinned, “Okay, so Bella,” I growled when he said that name, “for Jasper.” The one holding me down nodded, he must be Jasper. Now there was only one name I didn’t know, the other female’s, the gentle looking one.

Jasper got off of me and went to stand by Felix. I knew he wouldn’t hurt Jasper, he was too terrified for me.

Edward held his hand out to help me get up, I growled and stood up on my own. He reached for me, “Don’t touch me!” I snapped.

“Whatever you say Bella.” He said, "Just glad to have you back."

I rolled my eyes and muttered, “God, I’m surrounded by crazy people.”

I walked over and stood by the one who looked like the leader, Carlisle.

“What is the point of all this?” I asked angrily, "Either way, you will d-"

“Ella,” Azuria called to me sternly, “temper,”

I grimaced and fought back a gag. Stupid criminals. Why should I have to control my temper?

“This way,” the female called.

I stared at Carlisle, something about him…

Suddenly a hand was on my back, guiding me forward. I whirled around and into a crouch. It was Edward, “I said don’t touch me.” I growled.

He walked beside me on the way to their house, I ignored him the best I could, but my eyes kept wandering to his beautiful face.

I tried to keep my shield on Felix, Demetri, Azuria, and Jane, but after a while I had to throw it away from me altogether to reach them. I was sure we were far enough, but I wasn’t taking any chances.

I had to concentrate to keep them safe. I walked with my hands over my forehead, my thumbs pressed to my temples, and looking down with my eyes closed. I could feel him staring at me. It made no sense, none of this did.

Why was he staring at me? Why was I more important? Why couldn’t I remember these people? Why were they so familiar and easy to trust? Why did was I being drawn to this outlaw? Why did I like their gold eyes? Why did he have such a confusing interest in me? Azuria was prettier, so why would it be looks?

“You never could see yourself clearly,” Edward murmured beside me.

I gasped, realizing then that while I was protecting them, I had no protection. But it didn’t matter, they were more important. No matter how many times I was tortured, I loved them, I needed them. I needed Felix, he kept me sane those first few years. I started to remember him, to remember us kissing, to remember the way he talked to me; understanding and caring. He would always complement me, he was so nice.

It made me feel better, but there were a few winces next to me.

I sighed in defeat and retracted my shield, they should be far enough now.

Bella’s Point Of View

They brought me back to their house. It was a big cottage style two story. Very pretty, but not as great as Volterra. The most annoying thing was that Alice and Edward kept staring at me. Even after we got inside and I stood in a corner in the living room (not wanting to associate with the criminals), they wouldn’t take their annoying eyes off me.

What was even weirder is that it wasn’t in mistrust, it was love and pain. I had no idea who they were but they wouldn’t leave me alone.

The newborn Anna glared.

“You’re lucky you aren’t dead,” I hissed at her. I was bored and needed some form of entertainment, watching her being uncomfortable was fun.

“Yeah right,” she growled, “Just because you managed to kill Nicole doesn’t mean you can kill me!”

“Actually it does,” I told her, “You are just an inexperienced newborn, despite what you might think. I am a trained and valued member of the guard. The only one who can fight me and win is Felix.” She bristled, I grinned. “If I were you, I wouldn’t push my luck.”


“Why?” Edward interrupted, that annoyed me; I almost had her going, “Why did you kill her?”

I laughed, “It’s my job. I do as I am told. It was master’s wishes and what master wants, master gets. You brought it on yourselves anyway, you broke the law.”

Carlisle made a disgusted sound in the back of his throat.

“I should have known. You are so caring that you’d do anything they asked of you. If they asked you to jump off a cliff, you would wouldn’t you?” Edward asked.

I straightened my back and proudly nodded, “Without hesitation.” I was that good a servant.

He shook his head and ran out the door like it was a bad thing.

“What’s his problem?” It was a rhetorical question but Alice still answered.

“He hates himself for what he did to you. I told him, I really did.”

“He did nothing to me!” I yelled, frustrated, “I don’t even know you people! You’re insane!” I stomped over to the door, “I’m out of here.”

Alice grabbed my hand from behind, “Don’t.”

I spun around and knocked her to the ground. I got right in her face and said, “Don’t touch me.”

Anna ran over and grabbed my arm, taking me to the ground. It felt like her hand was white hot iron. It spread throughout my body as screamed out in pain. I wasn’t expecting it or I would have thrown her off.

Edward came running into the room and pulled her off me. The heat started to fade as I lay there gasping.

“Bella are you alright?” he asked.

I was shaking but nodded, too busy trying to control my screams and anger to care about him calling me Bella.

I stood up and brushed my self off, putting on my poker face so they wouldn’t know what I was about to do. I turned to Anna, who was glaring, crouched down and lunged. I was ready to rip her to pieces. Edward held me back while Alice controlled her.

“Jasper would really come in handy right about now.” She muttered. I didn’t know how he would, but she was probably just worried about her mate.

I snarled, pushed Edward away, and ran out the door. He followed me.

“Wait,” he called.

I froze, took a deep breath and turned to him, “what?”

“Here,” he put a stack of old photos in my hand. I flipped through them. One was of him and a girl who looked like me. They both looked happy. Then another, he looked dead and depressed. For some reason that made me angry, my eyes started to burn.

Why were these faces so familiar? Why did I get such a strange sense of déjà vu looking at the photos? Why was I so mad?

These people kept confusing me with this “Bella” and were annoying consistent. It was sad. He did something to hurt her and seemed to feel guilty. I’m sure she was just fine. If not better without him.

“I know you’re in there Bella,” Edward said, “Come back to me.”

I shook my head, “I’m sorry, Edward. I’m not your Bella. She looks like me, but there are laugh lines. It must be my mom, and she passed. I’m sorry.”

“No,” He sighed, “I’m sorry, so sorry for what I did to you.”

“Right,” I turned and walked back inside.

“Any luck?” Alice asked Edward when he walked through the door.

“No, but I’ll keep trying.”

I whipped my head around to tell him off, but I made the mistake of looking into his eyes. His beautiful topaz eyes. Electricity flew between us, he winked, more déjà vu. I closed my eyes, turned away, and calmed myself.

I knew how I could solve this problem.

I threw my shield away from me and got ready to remember my whole life.

Edward blinked and focused, ready to listen.

The stage was set, time for the show.

I knew how I could solve this problem.

I threw my shield away from me and got ready to remember my whole life.

Edward blinked and focused, ready to listen.

The stage was set, time for the show.

I threw out my sharpest human memory first, the transformation.

I kicked and fought the best I could. I knew it was useless, but someone kept yelling at me commanding me to fight. I didn’t really want to fight though, what was the point? Still I listened to the voice, I tried to do what it said. I longed for it before, but now I just wanted it gone.

I was brought back to the now familiar Volterra. Jane and Demetri threw me down on the floor at Aro’s feet. I glared at him and got up. Then there was a sudden pain in my stomach when he said a certain name, I don’t remember which, I don’t care, it just made me angry.

“So you were with them, and you knew about us?” Aro asked, I recognized them from an old painting I saw at someone’s house. They knew someone I knew, just like them. Vampires, all of them, every single person I knew was a vampire.

I nodded, “Why is it important?”

“Ah, little one, they have broken one of our most important rules by telling you,” he answered, then paused, “Jane dear, you said this one can’t be hurt by you?”

“Yes, Aro,” Jane said.

“You may prove important to us, how would you like to join the guard?” Aro said, suddenly giddy with anticipation.

“Do it Bella, stay safe, join them,” the voice said.

I hung my head and told Aro yes.

Then I was bitten, I don’t know who did, but there was a cut at my neck wrists and ankles. I screamed, not expecting it. There were snarls everywhere and yells to get certain people out of the room.

The fire burned. It spread through my body at a rapid pace. I was constantly wishing for death, to be free of the pain forever. I begged for the fire to stop. My only pain killer was Felix. He stuck by me the whole time. His hand always on my forehead, arm, or hand, trying to help cool me off. He murmured things like ‘it will be over soon, I promise’ and ‘I know it hurts, its okay, it will be better soon.’ I didn’t realize how much I needed him until recently.

There was a snarl across the room, I rolled my eyes, “If what you say is true, then it’s your own fault,” Edward winced and I continued.

When the fire stopped, I jerked up and into a crouch, taking in the colors, it was amazing how well I could see everything. I recognized Felix and ran to him. I hugged him and thanked him for staying with me.

“Anything for you,” he said, “I promise you right now that I’ll always look out for you.”

He lead me to Jane. What happened next changed my life forever.

Jane was torturing a human, I grimaced, why bother with something as stupid and vulnerable as a human? But Felix thought it upset me.

“That’s enough Jane,” she ignored him, “Jane,” again she ignored him. He lunged at her, she turned to him and he was on the ground. The image was horrifying. I wanted it to stop, I wanted to protect him. I needed to help him.

Then Felix stood up, Jane was shocked as was I. It was like I had an umbrella over him. Then Azuria came in the room.

“It appears you have forgotten your place Jane,” Azuria said.

“Azuria, don’t!” Felix yelled, but it was too late. Jane’s screams filled the tower as Azuria grabbed her hand. I tried to protect her, seeing Jane hurt wasn’t as pleasant as I thought it would be.

Felix could see me straining to help her. He put his hand on my shoulder and told me to relax.

“Zury, that is enough,” Felix commanded. She stopped and backed away.

Jane started to laugh, it echoed like bells through the tower. “It appears we have found the one thing that Ella isn’t immune to.”

It was then that Aro made Azuria my master. Felix didn’t like it, but what Aro wants Aro gets. I started to focus on my safety and thankfully the voice started to fade until it was gone forever.

Azuria tortured me until I didn’t care if I was called Ella and couldn’t remember what happened before, but Aro filled in the blanks.

I came from Washington. A vampire had used me as an experiment and told me about their entire existence. Then he left it upset me, but when the Volturi took me I got over it.

A few weeks after I got there was when Felix first tried to kiss me. I pushed him away, too broken to try to love again. Aro told me his name was James, and I just couldn’t forget him until recently.

“I loved a James, not you. I keep telling you, I’m not your Bella.” I told Edward, “Again, I’m sorry,”

“I loved a James, not you. I keep telling you, I’m not your Bella.” I told Edward, “Again, I’m sorry,”

He clenched his teeth, “No, Isabella-”

That was the snap, I don’t know why he was changing his game up, but I’d had enough. I got right up in his face, “You listen to me, Edward Cullen. I don’t know if you’re trying to trick me, or if you’re really that thick, but I’ve had enough of this charade. You can stop the act; I’ve already shown you that I didn’t know you. I assume you didn’t have an irrational obsession with a worthless human like James. Either way, I am not Bella. I am not Isabella. And I most certainly was not your girlfriend! So shut up and listen to me or stop it and leave me the hell alone!”

“Stop it Bella,” he yelled back, “You were human when you loved me, what changed?”

“No, you stop, I don’t care if you left her, she’s probably better off with out a stupid, crazy, vampire like you! She probably didn’t need death breathing down her neck everyday!” I screeched.

He backed away, “Give me a minute,” I guess I hit the mark, I was smug.

I continued to glare; he turned on his heel and left the house.

Edward’s Point Of View

I wasn’t expecting her to be so harsh. I almost laughed at that. I left her, weak, vulnerable, of course she’d get over it and build a wall. It was what I’d wanted, for her to get over it and lead a normal life.

But this Bella, I certainly didn’t want. I wanted her to be happy and healthy, human. I wanted her to have a human husband and a human child. I always blamed myself. I wanted her and I took her. I never thought about how any of my actions would affect her that much.

She’d been through more than I could have dreamed of. I flinched, remembering it. She showed me the torture Azuria put her through. I felt the pain she felt. I felt the sting. I felt the burn. It took every ounce of my strength to not start screaming myself. If I hadn’t been leaning against the wall, I would have been on the ground.

I also felt the torture I gave her. I felt the hollow, sinking feeling. I felt the ripping at my stomach. When I was there, to her, it was like I was her life raft. Then I disappeared out from under her and she sunk. I was nowhere to be found. I caused her more pain than Azuria could dream of.

What was worse for me was knowing that she’d been through that. From day one I’ve wanted, needed to protect her. Even when I wanted to kill her, I subconsciously knew I needed to keep her safe. I feel like I failed the one job given to me. I saved her life more than once, I’ve told her I loved her more than once.

But that is exactly what broke her. I loved her, I kissed her, I left her, I broke her. I didn’t think she had actually loved me as much as I had loved her. I didn’t think I would hurt her, break her. I didn’t think I would cause her so much pain. I didn’t think the pain and sadness I saw on her face the day I left would stay. I didn’t think. I didn’t think. I didn’t think.

I was a monster. I am a monster. What have I done?

I called Carlisle out; I needed to talk to him.

“Edward,” he asked, “what’s wrong?”

“Why is she like that Carlisle? It was only a few years, surely she couldn’t forget and create an entirely new person in a few years.”

“Edward, I’m going to be completely honest with you.” he said.

I waited.

“You’re a blind fool. She’s a vampire, Edward, we’re distracted easily. Strong emotions can alter us in permanent ways. Think of the things you left her with: pain, sadness, betrayal, low self esteem. Now put that together with what the Volturi gave her: pain, anger, torture, they took away who she was. If those can’t alter someone, then I don’t know what will. Anyone will eventually cave under torture. Face it Edward, she’s forgotten. Your Bella has disappeared, and I really doubt she’ll come back.”

I was shocked. I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t move, I couldn’t breath. When the shock faded away, it was replaced with nothing, emptiness.

“Thank you, Carlisle,” I told him mechanically.

He nodded and walked inside. I followed.

Bella’s Point Of View

He finally came back in.

“Which is it?” I asked him.


I took a deep, annoyed breath.

After Azuria was made my master, the thirst was too painful. I needed to eat. It felt like my throat was torched. Aro had Heidi bring me a few humans, mostly children. I wanted to resist at first, I don’t remember why. But as soon as I could smell them, I needed them. The blood was so soothing on my throat. The burning stopped altogether.

His head snapped up, “You ate humans?!” I had no idea why he was shocked, my eyes were red. I was a member of the guard. We don’t like to live off crap like them.

I smiled, showing him the little girl I killed before we came. I showed him many other humans I killed too. I even was lucky enough to have a singer on the way here, that’s a rare treat.

He gagged, I smirked.

I think the singer’s name was Amber…

He looked horrified.

You don’t know what you’re missing out on.

“Yes,” he said, “I do.”

“You had a singer?” I asked skeptically.

He nodded, “It was you.”

I rolled my eyes, I wasn’t dead, well, not like that anyway.

He looked like he was about to argue, but I interrupted, “Are you going to shut up and listen or what?”

He sighed and stood still.

Felix was nice to me my whole life, even when I’d yell at him with accusations. He endured them and kept his promise. Eventually I was molded into the loyal, important guard member I am today-

Out of nowhere Edward growled.

“What?” I said.

“Felix is coming to see you,” He hissed.

I smiled and ran out, he was waiting for me at the edge of the forest.

He scooped me up and kissed me. “Hey, how are you?” He asked.


He smiled, “You know what I mean,”

“Well they won’t leave me alone,” I sighed, “But no, I’m not hurt. And you?”

“Bored, Jasper has this calm thing about him, it’s weird and annoying. But you can’t be upset until later.” He grimaced.

I laughed, “Trade you! I’m stuck in a house with a mind reader and a physic, gag.”

He smiled. “It’s hard to be away from you, I have this urge to come and protect you.”

“This make you feel better?” I kissed him again, he laughed and nodded.

His phone rang, “Alright!” he yelled, “Jeez!”

I looked at him questioningly.

“Jane,” he said. I sighed and let him go. He waved and left.

When I got back in the house, Edward was standing there, his hands clenched in fists. I rolled my eyes.

“I could kill him for what he thought about you,” He hissed.

“Oh my god! I’m his mate for gods sake! Get over it! It’s not a big-”

“I will make you remember, one way or another, I will.” He swore.

“I don’t have anything to-”

My words were cut short.

Edward ran over and kissed me.

Edward ran over and kissed me.

Edward kissed me…

Edward kissed me?

Edward kissed me!

My breath came in as a wild gasp, I tangled my fingers in his hair and clutched him closer. Sparks, no, fireworks flew up. I wanted him. I needed him. I had to have him. He had to be mine. I had to be his. It wasn’t want, it was need. I needed Edward again. I needed him to be with me, all day, every day.

Edward, Edward, Edward!

Thousands of memories I never knew I had flooded over me: biology, the Volvo, La Bella Italliana, Baseball, James, my eighteenth birthday, the meadow. Oh! The meadow!

Edward, Edward, Edward!

He saved me in Port Angeles, his crooked smile, his kisses, the nights he stayed with me, his wonderful eyes, he took care of me, he loved me, he left me…

Edward, Edward, Edward!

He said he loved me, but never did. He had his distractions, most likely another beautiful vampire, or heaven forbid a human. Maybe it was Anna…

Edward, Edward, Edward!

His tongue grazed the bottom of my lip, I felt his sweet breath in my mouth.

Oh never mind!

No, I need to focus on my heath. Lord knows what will happen to me later if this continues.

I removed my hands from his hair and dragged them to his chest. With all my willpower I shoved him away, my breathing heavy.

He grinned, my shield was down the whole time, he’d heard everything. I snapped it back up.

“Why did you do that?” I asked, angry. I had a good life and he’d just ruined it. All those years I’d spent trying to forget, he ruined it. All the pain that disappeared would be back. God, the voice better not return!

He wouldn’t stop grinning. “Bella, you remember!”

“Don’t call me Bella!” I said firmly, “My name is Ella.”

“You can’t deny it, you remember.” He said.

I clenched my teeth, “I am so out of here.”

I ran, he followed.

“Stop it Edward!” I wailed, “Leave me alone! Please!”

“Enough Bella, tell me you remember, admit it, no more games.”

I had to get away. I was about to break down. The pain and depression were like a time bomb waiting to explode at any second, “Fine, I do, it doesn’t change anything. I don’t love you and you don’t love me. It’s not important, I don’t care!”

That made him stop, he stood frozen in place. I took that opportunity to run.

He doesn’t love me, he doesn’t love me. It’s not a big deal.

“Felix!” I screamed. He ran to me about halfway.

“What’s wrong?” he was full of concern, soon replaced with anger, “Did they hurt you?”

I shook my head, collapsing into him and sobbing dryly, “I-I remember. It came b-back!”

He was shocked, “The voice?”

“N-no, the memories, it’s all back. I r-remember it all.”

He hugged me tighter, “I’m so, so, so sorry Ella. I told Azuria this was a bad idea. Ever since you told me you needed to forget I feared this would happen. Look at me Ella,” I had turned away, “which is better for you?”

I was confused.

“Do you want to stay or go?” he clarified.

“Stay. He never loved me, and I don’t love him. I love you, Felix. You have stuck with me. You do love me. You have taken care of me. What has Edward given me? Pain, emptiness, he left. I don’t need him. I don’t want him.” Lies, so many lies. Not only to others, but myself too.

“Alright,” he said.

Years ago I’d told Felix that I was sick of remembering Edward, so I tried to not think about him. The fact that human memories fade anyway helped, and Felix changed the subject anytime it steered that way. And as much as I didn’t want to admit it, the torture helped me forget too.

Felix loved me. Felix cared. I told him everything, and he supported me. When I was tortured and there was nothing he could do, he had to leave the room, it was too much to see me in pain, to hear my screams. He actually fought Azuria and Jane to protect me and has the scar on his left arm to prove it. He always had my best interests in mind. He was perfect.

He helped me when he had so much else going on. He joined to save his brother, who needed to die for his crimes. Felix offered service to help him, and now Felix is stuck. He can’t leave, but he doesn’t want to stay. He’s like a prisoner.

We were to the others now, I turned to Jasper, “You can go back. You are not guilty of the crimes we thought you were. Don’t give us another reason to come back, or I’ll make sure you all get torn to shreds.”

For the first time in my life, Azuria looked guilty. Felix was glaring at her.

Jasper nodded and left. “Lets go,” I commanded.

The plane ride back to Volterra was long and painful, the bomb ticking cruelly and quickly. There was no wire to cut but one, the unthinkable, I can’t go back, I can’t, I can’t!

“You asked for me Aro?” I said shortly after we got back.

“Yes, Ella dear, how did it go?” he held out his hand. I dropped the shield and touched his hand.

After five seconds he dropped it, “I’m so sorry dear.”

I smiled, “Hardly sir. I’m alright. Did you need me to do something for you?”

“I’m glad to hear that your okay,” he said, “I’m sending you to do Heidi’s job. Just this once, don’t worry. She’s busy with something for me, that’s all.”

I nodded and walked out to trick the humans here, it would be harder this time, so much harder now that I remembered another way of life.

Edward’s Point Of View

I walked slowly back to the house, She didn’t love me, she doesn’t love me…

Three days later.

I had been catatonic for the past few days, not even trying to get over the shock. Being without the numbness would be too painful.

“Edward?” Alice asked through my bedroom door.

“What?” She came in and sat next to me on the couch.

“I have some bad news,”

I waited.

“It’s Bella.” I forced myself to focus, “Edward, apparently she did something they told her not to and…well…she’s dead Edward.”

I couldn’t think, her words wouldn’t sink in. I stood up and left the house, concerned eyes following me. I needed some space, I needed to think.

Bella’s dead. Bella’s dead. Bella’s dead.

And soon I’d join her.

Jasper’s Point Of View

Edward started to walk away from the house, pain, sadness, and shock leaking from him.

I heard Alice scream from up stares and ran to her.

“Alice, what did you see?” I asked.

“Edward,” she murmured, “Edward, is going to…to…”

She didn’t have to finish, I knew, and he was already miles away.

Bella’s Point Of View

I sighed and leaned back into Felix. His arms tightened around my waist automatically. We were in one of the small, quiet, forgotten rooms he brought me to when we talked and relaxed. Only now, I had no choice to be here. I was being held prisoner, Felix the warden.

I had cracked. I couldn’t take it, I couldn’t bring the humans here, Aro soon found out why, making me useless. Technically, it was Edwards fault. He made me remember, I really didn’t want to, and this was why. My life before was great. Wonderful.

Stupid humans. Stupid Cullen’s. Stupid crap diet. I’m starving but I can’t eat. No. Stupid Edward. He is the one who kissed me. He is the one who brought back the pain. He is the one who left, who doesn’t care. The only reason he did it was guilt. He thought he’d help me, the idiot.

There was no going back. Vampire memories stick, I have to remember these forever. Death sucks. Immortality sucks. Being me sucks.

“Felix?” I asked.

“Mm?” he hummed.

“I know it’s a touchy subject and all, but… What was your life like before the Volturi? I want to find out as much as I can before-” I broke off, unable to continue.

He swallowed, “Before tomorrow?” Yes, tomorrow. My execution. Felix, the usual one to kill, had refused. Marcus wouldn’t push it. Even he wasn’t that cruel. Still things had to be decided, the only reason for the delay. Felix had requested Alec not paralyze me, to give us more time.

I couldn’t answer so I just nodded.

“I was born in the Pensacola, Florida area, 1789.” He began, “I had a mom, who died when I was fourteen, and a dad, who died seven years earlier. From then on I lived with my older brother, Max, who was twenty six at the time, my older sister, Mary, who was seventeen, and my younger brother, who was ten, Jude.

“Most of my human life is a blur. I remember, I was twenty when I was changed, I think it was by a female, Anne. When I had enough control, I kept in touch with the one brother I was close to, Jude.

“One day, he disappeared. I went to his house and found the scent of a vampire, and followed it. I found Jude, half-crazed and terrified in a forest surrounded by twenty or so others. Not even two seconds later the Volturi came, Aro included.

“It was then that I realized I’d been dragged into the one thing I was trying to avoid, the newborn wars.”

I nodded, we’d just nabbed someone who took it too far.

“I talked Aro into touching my hand, and when he did, he had to have me join the guard. He saw my speed and strength was better than most, but what he really wanted was my ability.”

I gasped and whirled around, “I didn’t know you had an ability!”

He nodded, “I can search through memories, make them forget, and add new ones, you had me do that to you when you got your ability.”

“So I could forget everything, like that?”

He shook his head, “It’s so much easier said than done. One it takes a long time, two it is very physically and emotionally draining, and three…it hurts.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I took so many of your tortures and lay them on myself.”

I was shocked, “Why?”

“I love you.” he said simply, stroking my face and gently kissing my lips.

“So anyway,” he continued, “Aro made a deal with me, he’d spare my brother’s innocent life, and I’d join the guard.”

“You’re a slave you know?” I said.

He nodded, “I do now, you made me realized that. Aro has kept a close eye on me because of it, I-” He stopped and listened, so did I.

“Please promise me something,” He said urgently.


“Don’t fight, just run.” He took me by surprise, but I nodded. He wanted me to escape.

He pulled me closer to him and kissed me passionately, I kissed him back just as much. My fingers tangled in his hair and his hands clamped on my waits, holding me tighter to him. All too soon he pulled away, both our breathing heavy and me dizzy.

Demetri and Alec came in the room shortly after, “Aro calls for you.”

Felix glared but nodded, telling me it was okay. I covered him in my shield, just in case. If I was going out, it would be while protecting him.

We slowly walked to the tower where Aro was. Where I was to die.

I never really had thought about my death, I guess because I had the time now. I wouldn’t be going through this is I hadn’t have moved to Forks. If I hadn’t met Edward. If I hadn’t been nearly killed by James. If Edward didn’t leave. If Victoria hadn’t have blabbed. If the Volturi hadn’t come for me. If I hadn’t have been tortured over and over again. If I hadn’t have forgotten. If I hadn’t have loved Felix. If I hadn’t have met Edward again. If he hadn’t have kissed me if he hadn’t have pretended. If I hadn’t have run. If I didn’t love them both.

There were so many “ifs”, why bother? I couldn’t bring myself to regret it anyway.

“Bella dear!” Aro said happily, holding out his hand.

I snarled, he had to be joking. He was going to kill me and he wanted me to share my memories?!

He made a face, “Something wrong?”

My expression turned murderous, “You know damn well something is wrong!” I hissed.

He smiled, “Let’s get on with this. Demetri-”

Before anyone could think the door burst open and my old savior came running in, faster than most, as always. His beautiful auburn hair wind blown and his body coiled in a protective crouch in front of me. Felix was next to him. They lunged at anyone who came near me.

I turned to do as Felix told me to but was sidetracked. Felix was against Demetri and Jane. I had continued to protect Edward and him without noticing, but Jane can still fight. Demetri lunged at his side, I couldn’t take it, the image horrified me, I had to stop it.

I ran at Demetri and ripped his head off, just like a common newborn, I had taken him down so easily. I proceeded with taking him apart, and didn’t even notice Alec.

He pinned me. “Felix, Edward! Run!” I screamed, “If you care about me at all if you value my life and sanity at all you will run!”

Then I went dead…

I gasped.

“Thank you, Alec.” I heard Felix ask.

I whimpered and clutched him close, Don’t go away, please don’t leave me! I silently begged.

“Shhh, it’s okay?”

I gasped and sat up, “You were supposed to run!” I hissed.

He was taken aback for a moment, but quickly recovered, pain coloring his tone, “I couldn’t, I forced Edward to run but I was to the ground before I could think. I’d rather be here with you anyway.”

I shook my head and sobbed dryly into his shoulder. He can’t die! He can’t! He can’t!

Azuria and Alec came in, “Aro want’s you.” Azuria mumbled, guilt filling her expression, it didn’t help that I glared at her, but I would gladly convince myself that it did.

Once again we were lead in the room, but my panic was building, Don’t hurt Felix, don’t hurt Felix! I silently begged.

“You asshole!” I hissed at Aro the second we were in the room, “I swear to god above if you-”

“I am god!” he laughed.

“Arrogant fool!” I hissed.

He smiled, “Everyone but Bella out!

“But master,” Renata said, panicking.

“Now, Renata.” Aro looked into Felix’s eyes and then at our intertwined hands, which were both clutched tighter, and nodded in approval. Panic reared it’s ugly head again. Felix was going to watch?! Or worse, what if he tried to protect me again? I shuttered slightly.

Everyone left, with the exception of Marcus, Casius, Aro, Felix, and I.

I closed my eyes. Keep Felix safe as long as you can, I decided. That was my first selfless act in a long time.

“Bella?” I opened my eyes, Aro continued, “I’m here to make you a deal.”

“Felix,” Marcus hissed, “Go stand by Casius.”

Reluctantly he obeyed.

“I’ll listen,” I said, anything to protect Felix.

Aro nodded and continued, “You must work for us and do everything we say, no arguing-”

“Never,” I interrupted.

“Ah, dear Bella, you may change your mind when I tell you about Edward.”

I felt my eyes go glassy. I smiled, and decided to call his bluff, “I must have you scared pretty bad old man.”

“We have him, he continued as if I hadn’t have said anything, “And you must make him leave. You know what we’ll do to him if you don’t.”

“I hate him!” I lied, hissing, “Why would I care?!”

“Lair!” Aro yelled, running over and slapping me, making me fall to the ground. I didn’t bother to get up.

Felix tried to run to me but Demetri came and held him back.

“You know what it will do to his family.” He hissed. My eyes were suddenly unfocused. Aro leaned down to whisper in my ear so only I could hear, “Emmett, devastated. Rosalie, horrified. Jasper, catatonic. Carlisle, hurt. Esme, another son gone. And what about dearest Alice? How will she feel?

“You still love Edward, remember all your kisses, biology, the meadow?” I started to tremble. I wanted to cry. More than ever, I needed to cry.

He kicked me and I rolled over on my back so he could see my face. He saw the dead expression in my eyes. “Don’t hurt Felix,” I whispered.

He nodded, “Just promise your service,”

I closed my eyes, pulled away my shield, and touched his hand.

I opened my eyes, he smiled and left, followed by everyone but Felix, who ran over to me.

“Bella!” He pulled me to him.

“Promise me something,” I whispered.


“Please don’t make me forget,” I begged, “if you value my sanity and my right as a person, don’t take it away.”

And we sat there, both of us made slaves while to protect the ones we loved.

“Edward.” I hissed, walking into the prison room.

“Bella!” He rejoiced, I would have flinched if I hadn’t have practiced being a good actor and liar for the past fourteen years.

“Leave now.” I commanded, “Aro values your talents, he believes there is a chance you will change your mind one day, so we won’t kill you. Pity, I was really looking forward to ripping you apart.” I had practiced my lines for a long time.


“I’m Ella.” I said firmly, “Now go.”

“No. No. NO!” He yelled, “Stay with me Bella!”

“Why should I? You didn’t stay with me!”

He flinched.

“Go before I change my mind!” I commanded.

“No, Bell-”

“I am no longer yours Edward.” I hissed.



“Listen to me Bella!” He screamed, pushing me to a wall and grabbing my shoulders, “You can’t keep denying who you are. You aren’t Ella. You. Are. Bella. You are the love of my life, how you ever loved me, I’ll never know. But I will fight for you! I won’t let you become lost because of what I did to you.”

“HOW MANY DAMN TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?!” I screamed back, “I’m not your Bella anymore!” I shoved him away and he staggered back, “Get. Out. Now. You are no longer welcome in my life!” I turned and left.

“Where are you going, Ella?” Demetri asked as I glided past him and Jane.

“Out.” I snapped.

Jane grinned, “She’s back.”

I ran the rest of the way out of the tower. It was about one o’clock at night so I could let my hood fall as I sat by the fountain just outside our dear Volterra. I ran my hand through the water and sighed. I wasn’t Edward’s Bella anymore. I’m more selfish now, I’m a monster. I eat humans. I…I’m horrible. I’m not worthy of him anymore. I hurt him, hurt him so deeply that he should never forgive me.

“Hey, pretty lady?” a sweet little voice said, I looked up. A little girl who looked about four stood in front of me, twisting and untwisting her little fingers around a necklace with a tiny gold heart pendant around it, and biting her bottom lip. Her straight, black hair fell to her shoulders and her bright blue eyes stared at me. Her pale skin shone almost blue in the moonlight, she wore a little blue dress that was a perfect match for her eyes, she looked so sad, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I said, “What’s wrong with you?”

She sighed, “I don’t know where my mommy and daddy are.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, do you want me to help you find them?”

“If you want to,” She said.

It was surprisingly easy to talk to the child. It was both easy and hard to be near her. My instincts screamed at me to kill, but I was revolted by the thought. Even here in the silent city, where all the tourists were asleep and no one would see her die.

What was even more surprising was that she came near me. Children tend to run because they rely more on parents and instincts than what they know. It’s hard as hell for Heidi to get children to follow her. But she came right up to me. My eyes were even black. She was brave.

I stood up and she took my hand, not even flinching from the cold. I carefully leaned down and picked her up as if she was a tiny bubble of soap or made of the thinnest glass. She leaned into me and started playing with a lock of my hair.

I smelled her shirt, “Hey kid,” I asked, “Does your mommy dress you in the morning.”

She nodded.

“What’s your name?”

“Theresa Anne Dove,” She recited.

Hmm. That was a mouthful, “Do you have a nickname?”

“Sometimes my parents call me Terry, or Resa. But I like Resa better.”

I nodded, that was much easier. “Close your eyes,” I told her. She squeezed them shut and buried her head in my shoulder.

Then I ran. I followed the scent to a hotel and walked in, then inhaled deeply. I gasped.

Oh, no.

These were the humans Heidi brought earlier, the ones for only Aro and his wife. That meant this child was an orphan.

She tugged on a lock of my hair, “Can I go to sleep?”

I nodded and lay her on the bed. She yawned, her full lips forming a perfect ‘O’, “Night, night.”

I smiled, “Night.”

I sat there all night, just staring at her. I can see what Edward found so special about watching me sleep. Humans were just so peaceful, I envied the child. Why can she sleep and not me? It was extremely annoying.

What was I going to do? I couldn’t leave the girl alone. She was four, she wouldn’t stand a chance. I couldn’t bring her back, she be dead the first day.

There was a knock on the hotel door around noon, I stiffened.

“Ella?” I relaxed, it was Felix.

I opened the door. His eyes widened as he looked at the child, “What’s-”

“She’s an orphan, I can’t leave her alone. She needs someone to take care of her.” I interrupted.

“What about those Cullen’s?” He asked.

I gasped, it was so perfect. Of course the Cullen’s would take her in. Of course that’s the best thing for her. She’d be as safe as I could get her. I heard Charlie wasn’t doing so great, and Renee was dead. I couldn’t leave her with them. Edward always was responsible, he could be like a dad.

The only problem was getting up enough courage to ask. I truly am a horrible person.

Felix was leaning quietly against the back wall, staring at Resa while I thought. He looked at her with unconditional love in his eyes. He’d be a good parent for her if that was an option.

“That’s a good idea,” I finally said, “But what are we going to do with her while we go ask?”

“I’ll watch her,” He said, still staring at the girl, “You can trust me.”

I nodded, I could trust him. I ran quickly though, wanting to hurry and get it over with.

Edward was standing there in front of Aro when I entered, Alice, Jasper, and Carlisle were next to him. I stopped dead in my tracks. I wasn’t expecting them to be here too. This truly sucked.

Alice turned around and her face lit up, great. “Bella!” She ran to me and threw her arms around my waist. I stiffened, she didn’t seem to notice, “Hi, missed ya!”

I nodded, she let go and danced back to stand next to Edward. I swallowed, “Carlisle?”

He turned, though his expression was just as caring as always, the gold in them stared with accusations. “Yes?”

“I need to talk to you for a moment.”

He nodded and I led him outside, “Okay,” I began, “I need a favor. I found a child, an orphan, and I need to know if you can look after her.”

“A human?” He asked.

“Yes, I don’t want her in an orphanage, but I can’t keep her with me or find someone to take her. I need to know if you can find someone, or take her in.” I said.

He sighed, “May I see her?”

“Of course.” I led him to the hotel and opened the door. Resa was in Felix’s lap being tickled and giggling. He looked like he didn’t even have to work to be gentle, he was already.

She gasped and ran to me, her jaw dropped when she saw Carlisle, “So many pretty people.” I smiled.

He held out his arms and she looked up at me, I nodded and she went to him.

“She’s four, her name is Teresa Anne Dove, she likes to be called Resa.” I said.

He nodded, “Yes, I’ m sure we’ll be able to help. She seems healthy.”

I breathed a sigh of relief, thank God.

Felix and I went back while Carlisle stayed with Resa.

“Yes of course Edward, wonderful, I’m so glad. I knew you would come around.” I heard Aro say just as we walked in. Alice and Jasper were staring at him in horror.

“Ah, Ella dear. Edward has decided to join us, isn’t that wonderful?” He said.

I shook my head. My eyes started to burn and my shield gave out, along with my knees, “No Edward, no don’t do this.” I whispered.

Pain was in his eyes as he grimaced at the agony I was going through. He had no idea what he got himself into, the Volturi did some things the rest of the vampire world didn't even know of.

This was probably the worst fate for anyone. Ever.

NO! NO! NO! YOU CAN’T DO THIS! I mentally screamed. Or maybe it was out loud, I don’t know, I don’t care.

Edward couldn’t share the same punishment as me, he couldn’t.

I looked into his eyes and I saw: Oh, but he was, he was.

“Aw come on, Bells. It won’t be that bad, you’re my boss now, it’s healthy to relax.” Edward said, running along side me down the tower halls.

I whirled around towards him and ripped my shield on and off him, so the voices came on and off in a high siren-like pitch, hitting him like a whip. His knees buckled and he hit the ground, clutching his head.

I glowered. “First, I’m Ella. Not ‘Bells’. Understand?” I hissed, “Secondly, yes it will be that bad. You listen to me Edward Cullen, this will be the single worst mistake in your entire life, besides getting together with me. I will make sure this is the worst of the worst Hell has to offer. You will hate it here. And if I do my job right, loath me.” He looked like he was about to interrupt, but I cut him off, “And don’t try to tell me all about that love crap, because it’ll only make it worse for you. It was just a high school crush, nothing more.” I laughed, “For God’s sake Edward, it didn’t even last a year!”

I could tell I stuck a chord there. He flinched as he stood up.

“And further more, I am your boss! So watch your step.” I hissed, turning on my heal and continuing down the hall.

He grinned, but followed.

“Ella, wait!” he said.

I huffed and turned. Unfortunately for me, he was waiting there and my face hit his just right. We kissed and I dug my nails into my hands to keep from making the same mistake as the first time. I pulled back and screamed in his face, “I HATE YOU, EDWARD CULLEN!”

“Ah,” he said, smiling as if I just made his day, “but I love you Bella Swan.”

“I’ll get Azuria if I need to! I-”

“Ella, be nice.” Azuria said, gliding down the hallway to us, “You mustn’t take advantage of your newfound power.”

I glared at her, “Your one to talk.”

She flinched, “Yes…and I’m sorry.”

I rolled my eyes, “Sure.”

She recovered herself, “Yes, well. Aro needs to see you.” she turned, then stopped, “Both of you.”

Edward grinned, “Both of us, together.”

I felt hot, “If. You. Even-”

“That’s enough! You two fight like children!” Azuria interrupted.

Edward kept grinning.

She walked off. Edward frowned and I grinned. I almost always kept my shield on him to keep him from using his ability, a fact that obviously agitated him.

It’s only been four days and already I’m ready to kill him. He gets along perfectly with Felix. They’re buds now. He annoys me every chance he gets. He kisses me every chance he gets. He’s trying to make my life Hell. And I, his.

“Come,” I commanded, walking towards Aro. He wrinkled his nose but came.

“Must you be so commanding?” Edward said.

“I’m your boss,” I answered, grinning, “So yes.”

He grinned, “Okay Boss.” He paused, “I wonder if I should call Felix ‘Boss’ or just ‘bud’”

I clenched my hands and my teeth came together in an audible snap, “I’ll tell you what you can do, you can take that question and shove it-”

“Ella, stop.” Aro said, “Be nice.”

My jaw dropped and my eyes grew wide, “But it wasn’t me! It was Edwards’s Fault!”

“Of course,” Aro said, bored, “It’s always Edward’s fault.”

Edward snickered, just low enough for me alone to hear.

I whipped my head towards him and gave him a death glare, he was obviously amused by that. I wished I could punish him right here, but Aro wouldn’t like that.

“Anyway, I have a mission for you.” Aro said, “There’s a clan in Texas who may have an immortal child, I need you, Edward, Felix, And Azuria to go check it out. Please escort Carlisle and Resa home. The rest of the Cullens already left and Carlisle and I had wanted to talk.”

My jaw dropped, “What! Edward’s been here four days! I had to wait a year before I could go on a mission!”

Aro laughed, “Ella, that’s because you were our worst! You always fought us, for two years! You took a swing at me and nailed me right in the jaw,” He chuckled, “You would thrash and lash out, yelling at this one here,” he pointed to Edward, “to shut up, even though he wasn’t here. We thought you were so broken from the break up you’d gone crazy.”

Edward’s eyes grew wide and his jaw dropped. Horrer covered his face. I saw him turn towards me in my peripheral, but refused to look directly at him.

I was too pissed at Aro.

“He however,” Aro continued, “Hangs on your every word.”

Edward recovered himself and grinned, “See Bella, I love you.”

“I hate you.”

“That’s good, hate is a passionate emotion.”

I clenched my hand into a fist, “I have your passion right here you cocky, arrogant-”

“That’s enough Ella.” Aro commanded.

I wanted to spit on him.

Three hours later and we were on the plane. Felix was holding my hand, Edward was behind us, grimacing at that.

Just as we were over the ocean, we all heard a small explosion, and our eyes grew wide.

“Get the people,” Edward said.

“No,” I commanded, “It’s not our fault the engines exploded, we leave it.” My hand flinched towards Resa.

Edward smiled gently, stroked my face, and ran to the door. He pulled all the parachutes and strapped Resa into one, throwing one in everyone else’s lap.

The plane was just starting to fall, that all happened in three short seconds.

Everyone put on they’re parachutes with only one crazy old lady questioning. I helped strap in the little ones. Between the five of us it took ten seconds.

I kicked out the door and grabbed Resa, “Jump after me, okay baby?”

“Okay mommy,” She paused, “I love you.”

My heart swelled after she said that.

Edward ran to me, grabbed my hand and kissed me. We tumbled out of the plane and I saw Edward for Edward. I didn’t look at him in hatred.

“I love you Edward,” I whispered.

And we fell again.

I hate myself. I hope I die. Though I know the only way is to get a vampire to, that’ll be hard. I’m in the Volturi and my own family was terrified of me, who’s stupid enough to do that.


“Don’t even think about it Bella.” Edward moaned, leaning to wrap his arms around me.

I groaned and pulled my shield up. Edward was suffering with me this whole time and I didn’t even know it. I really need to work on that.

“Bella it’s my fault.” Edward said, “I didn’t fight fair.”

“Don’t try to make this your fault,” I said, pushing him away.

“Bella please get up, you’ve been laying there since you fell an hour ago.” Felix said.

“I said leave me.” I hissed.

The fall or hitting the ground didn’t hurt. Though I wished it did. Edward and I separated about halfway, more than enough time for me to realized what I’d done. Ever since then, I’d curled up in a ball and barely let anyone touch me, I was afraid my stupid would rub off on them.

Felix was way to understanding. I hurt because I knew he hurt, though he tried not to show it.

He wanted me to be with who I was happy with.

“Momma?” I heard Resa call from a few feet in the forest.

I sighed and sat up, “Over here baby.” I held out my arms and she ran to me.

“Sorry,” Carlisle said, “I didn’t want to run and risk scaring her. So we walked.”

I nodded, “Just tell her to close her eyes.”

“The humans okay?” Felix asked.

“Yeah,” Carlisle answered, “They all pulled out their cell phones the second they hit the ground.”

Resa turned and sat in my lap, twirling my hair. I looked from Felix to Edward.

Edward. Precious. Beautiful. Caring. I stared into his gold eyes and nearly flinched away. Even when he joined us, he stuck with animals. Would I be able to look into those eyes forever without any guilt or pain.

But I have to remember: he left me. What if he does again?

Felix. Wonderful. Kind. Angelic. His red eyes horrified me now, though it wouldn’t be hard to have him change his diet, he gets used to things quickly. Would it be too hard at first? What if it is too hard the whole time and he just hides it?

Felix has loved me more than anything the whole time, but I haven’t loved him more than anything the whole time.

They both deserve better.

Felix held out his arms and Resa ran to him, “Sweetie, can you go play with…er…” he looked at Edward, “Uncle Dad?”

Edward snorted and held out his arms, she went to him and they walked off. She had backwards instincts or something, playing with vampires, what’s wrong with her.

I paused.

I’m such a hypocrite.

Felix walked over to me and held out his hands, “You can’t stay like that forever.”

I sighed, nodded, and stood up, “Yeah.”

“Bella, I want you to be with who you’re happy with. I want you to be happy.” He said, “Whichever one is better-”

“Stop,” I moaned, “I can’t take it! I WANT to be with you! I want you to not fight fair too!”


“No, please Felix! Fight for me! Fight back!” I kissed him and he kissed me back but pulled away

“You sure Ella-Bella? I will if and only if that’s what you want.” He said.

I nodded fiercely.

He laughed, “Then let’s get out of this jungle and bring Resa home.”

I backpedaled, “Home?”

He kissed my nose, “Yep.”

“You don’t mean Volterra-?”

Another kiss. “Nope.”

“You sure?”

Another. “Yep.”

“Then what?” I demanded.

He laughed at my frustration, “I bought a house in Forks.”

I gasped, “You didn’t!”

He nodded, “From now on, we have a home. The Cullens excepted us! We live close to them.”

I smiled, “I love you.”

He grinned, “I know.”

My face fell, “What about the Volturi?”

He smiled, “I have a plan.”

Then drastic news hit.

“What?” My knees buckled and I hit the ground. Rosalie and I never really got along, but this. I never wanted this.

“How?” Edward demanded, teeth clenched and face colored in pain.

“A newborn got out of hand. It tried to kill Esme and Rosalie saved her and… well… Rosalie ended up getting killed.” Carlisle’s voice was doctor-y and unattached, but I could tell he was suffering.

A hollow ringing filled my ears and the world went black, all that was let was the voices that echoed in my head.




He paused.



“Where is she?!” I yelled, “I rip her a new ass! I’ll kill her!”

“She’s dead too.”






“Oh my God, how is he?” I demanded.

“Dead. He’s… awful.”

I looked down.

“Can I see him?” Zury asked.

“Yeah, follow me.”

Carlisle led us to him, and what I saw was… me… when Edward was gone. Dead.

Emmett was there, but he wasn’t. He was staring blankly at the wall. You could tell his soul had left his body. Anna may have just burned Rosalie, but she might as well have thrown Emmett in there too. He died too.

Azuria gasped, “Emmett?”

He looked up a her, then back down.

“Emmett, are you okay?”

He shook his head.

She went and sat next to him, “I- I’m sorry.”

He sat there, and she continued to try to talk to him while the rest of us left.

When things didn’t look much worse… the werewolves got violent.

Ch. 13

I tapped my fingers in the air like I was playing the piano, the sea salt filled air would have stung a human, but they have softer skin.

They also have worse balance. They would have fallen off the cliff at this point. I was standing on my toes, not even an inch from the edge. I also had concentration.

“Bells?” a godlike voice called.

I jumped. The air whooshing past me felt nice, my hair flying up. I turned, aiming so that I’d land in the water at a dive, arms first. I slammed into the water and inertia did its job, I was pulled down. The waves made my tiny form tumble as they wrapped over me like a caress. It was the only time I felt close to normal. Weak, like most people. The waves, however, were just about the only things that could do that.

The ocean always made me feel small.

I could stay under forever, but Edward called me, and I didn’t want Felix or Resa to worry. I had started to care less and less of what Edward thought or felt, he was like a bug to me. A small, tiny, bug.

I surfaced and swam to shore, Edward was waiting for me, arms crossed. “Must you never listen to me?”

“Yep.” He huffed,


“Ella,” I corrected.

“Pardon me princess. Ella, you’re not my boss anymore, and what I say does-”

“Not matter at all to me, Eddy. Deal with it.”

A low growl rumbled from his chest and I threw myself at him, talking him to the ground. My lips were at his throat in less than a second and his breathing sped up, “Let me make this clear Eddy, I may not me your boss, but you do have to respect me to get respect, understood? And even then it’s still my decision.”

“Yes,” he whispered.

“Good,” I lowered, and sliced a tiny cut on his neck, he winced. I don’t know why, but that tiny wince made my heart hurt. Concern filled my eyes for the briefest second for him to see and I gasped. His pain hurt me? How can that happen?

“Isabella…” He whispered.

Felix isn’t here, he’ll never know. I could try, but there was no denying it. That thought was all mine.

Tears filled my eyes at I let myself remember Edward and I. God, it felt like centuries!

“It can be that way again Bella,” he whispered gently, stroking my face, I leaned into him, “We can be together, not having to worry at all.”

My lips parted as I tried to take a breath and calm myself, it made it worse, I was so consumed by him. He leaned up and, as much as I’d like to deny it, I leaned down.

Our lips met and it was just like the first time. I lost all control and was filled with nothing but desire and utter love for Edward.

“Bella.” he groaned. That’s when I stopped trying to resist altogether.

“Well, well, well,” I heard a cocky, arrogant, biting voice, said behind us.

I jerked up, hating myself for not noticing or smelling them.

“Look what we have here, still breaking the things you love Bella?”

“Can’t hurt what didn’t love, Jacob,” I hissed.

He glared, Edward and I stood up. I crossed my arms, Edward was standing ready to fight, but not me, I haven’t had to for years, I could hop into a crouch in less than half a second if I tried, that was my record at least.

“What do you want, dog?” I snapped.

His shaking arms bristled, and he clenched his hands harder.

“What’s wrong, pup? You aren’t afraid of me? Of your best friends ‘Bells’?” I began to whisper, “You know how much time we spent together that last summer, don’t you? Nearly all of it. But,” I laughed, “You know what they say about summer love. Ours, however was just one side though. What’s wrong mutt? Am I not like the last time you saw me, weak, hurt, falling to pieces? Wait! You liked me that way, thinking you could step in on the weak girl after a self-esteem blow. And I see you still suck at the whole self control thing, huh, shaky? Why won’t you answer? SpeakFido!”

He was positively livid. He turned and ran away, I heard him transform a few feet in the woods and start to pitifully howl.

“Well, let’s go,” Edward was staring strangely at me, “What? Come on, they’ll be worried.” I started to walk the direction of the house.

He sighed, “B –“ he corrected himself, “Ella, as much as I enjoy antagonizing the dog, that was…” he trailed off.

“What?” I hissed, impatient.

“That was just… demonic. It wasn’t like you. I was actually afraid of you for him.” He muttered.

He looked at me like he was ashamed of me, which pissed me off. I huffed and ran back home.

“Res – “ I called, but stopped short.

The house was too quiet, but I heard something in the distance, Edward came running up then, “Ella, wait. I – “

“Shut up,” I hissed, and listened, was it crying? I took off, Edward following.

The Cullen’s and my family were there, Resa included. She was crying, terrified for her own life. But it wasn’t that she was bleeding around a group of vampires, it was something else.

Something far worse.