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Bella gets mono. Edward blames himself and feels guilty for hurting Bella again. Bella still is paranoid that Edward will leave her and starts to have convincing dreams that he will leave while she is recovering.

i wrote this a long time ago, just for myself. review and tell me if you like it and i'll keep posting. its 8 chapters now but i might tweek the end a tad. Set after Edward comes back at the end of new moon.

1. Chapter 1

Rating 0/5   Word Count 1575   Review this Chapter

Ch. 1


It was the worst part of my day. Edward’s absence made me lonely and as much as I tried to keep them away, the abandonment threats always came to haunt me. Ever since Edward came back to me, I knew without a doubt that he loved me. I knew he would never leave me again. Somehow the shadows of rejection always crept up on me when he was away though. I had a feeling he knew I felt like this, although I would never mention it to him, he already felt guilty enough. He never stayed away too long, never going on hunting trips like he used to, and never staying away from me for a whole night. He always made sure he was there when I woke up in the morning. I loved him for this.

Charlie had been the bigger problem now. I was beyond grounded for my unexplained three day absence. As part of my punishment, Edward had to leave in the evenings and I could not see him until morning- or so Charlie thought. Edward would sneak back into my room the moment Charlie had fallen asleep. However, waiting for him to come back was close to torture. Deep down I knew he always would, but if I got too caught up in thinking about the reasons for him to leave, I would find myself panicking and believing that he would never come to me again.

One night, after I finished dinner with Charlie and Edward had officially left for the night, I was sitting in my room, waiting for him to sneak back in my window. I tried to distract myself. I went to my computer and answered my backed up emails from Renee. She always seemed to think that my life was so much more interesting than it really was- or what part I could tell her was anyway. When I was finished there, I looked at the clock, it was only 8:30. It would probably be at least two hours before he came back.

I felt the feeling coming on, the abandonment creeping up on me in my dark room. I tried to never let myself get too far into the feeling, in case Edward came back and found me freaking out. It would hurt him so much to see me suffering for that. I went to my bed and sat down, trying to let my mind wonder. Lying back against my pillows, I realized I was suddenly exhausted. Edward would be back soon and I didn’t want to be asleep when he got here, so I tried to fight the tiredness.


I felt cool hands on my face and I thought I was dreaming. But then I heard his voice, close by and soft in my ear.

“Bella?” My eyes fluttered open, I was still exhausted, and I saw his beautiful face looking at mine. He was kneeling down next to my bed and I was facing him, lying on my side on the very edge of my bed. “Are you alright, love?”

I shook off the stupor and sat up quickly. He looked concerned and opened his mouth, ready to say something that I’m sure was overprotective and unnecessary. “I’m fine Edward. I’m sorry, I fell asleep waiting for you,” I told him quickly, before he could worry aloud.

“Are you sure Bella? It’s not even 9:00. Why are you so tired? Do you think you’re coming down with something?” he asked with an anxious look.

“Can’t a person take a nap?” I pointed out. He was right. I was oddly tired but I wasn’t going to let him worry about it.

“I suppose they can. But I’m right anyway. Alice said you’re getting a cold.”

“Cheater,” I accused him under my breath. He smiled his crooked smile at me and my heart fluttered. “Why are you back so soon?”

“Alice told me what she saw and I wanted to make sure you were okay,” he admitted, looking down. I was pretty sure that if he was human, he would be blushing right now. I sighed and he wrapped his arms around me. I knew he loved me, but honestly, a person can get a cold and they don’t need a doctor to look at them, which I was sure he was considering.

“It’s just a cold, Edward. I’ll be fine. I’m going to go shower if that’s okay with you,” I said sarcastically. He chuckled and let me go. I showered quickly and changed into cozy pajamas.

I went back to my room and saw something that made my heart race. Edward was not waiting for me on my bed. Where was he? Had he left? Why?

Don’t panic! I told myself. He didn’t leave, he must be around here somewhere. I put my bag down and my dirty clothes in the hamper, my heart still about to jump out of my chest. When I turned to face my bed, relief washed over me. He was lying in my bed, as if he had never left. The only things different were his expression and what was in his hand. His face was pained and guilty. I knew he heard my quickened heartbeat and would have guessed exactly why it had changed. He blamed himself.

In his hand, he now held a bottle of blue cold medicine from the bathroom and a glass of water. He tried to wipe off the pain and guilt off his face with a smile, and it almost worked. I walked towards him and rolled my eyes at the medicine.

“Please?” he begged me in a far too convincing voice. I sat down next to him and crossed my legs, giving him an exasperated look. He eyes continued to stare into me, like he was looking through my soul. I simply couldn’t say no to eyes like his. Sighing, I reached out and took the bottle. After I swallowed the appropriate amount, Edward laughed at my sour expression and handed me the water.

When I was finished and had put the glass on my nightstand, Edward wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to his chest. After kissing my damp hair, he put his lips to my ear and whispered into it, “I will never leave you Bella. I love you too much. I wish I had never left you in the first place, love. I know it still hurts you and I’m sorry.”

It was my turn to feel guilty. I had forgiven him a long time ago, but he still hadn’t forgiven himself and I made that it harder by showing him my worries. “No, Edward, I’m sorry for freaking out. I can’t really help it. I know you’re never going to leave me. I trust you, really.”

I twisted in his hold and reached up so I could press my lips to his jaw. I felt him smile as he pulled my lips to his. His arms slid around my back, holding me in the tight circle of his stone arms. One of my hands went to his perfect hair, while the other went to the back of his neck, trying to hold him there. I knew it was coming, since I was held so tightly against his cold body but I still tried to stop myself from shivering. It didn’t work and I shuddered into him. I felt him start to pull me away and I tried to hang on tighter. Edward chuckled once and broke my hold.

“You should sleep, love. You’re sick, remember?” he said with a smile in his voice.

“Not yet I’m not,” I pointed out, stifling a yawn. He laughed and picked me up, pulling the covers down and sliding me under them. He stayed on top and wrapped the blanket tightly around me.

“Get some sleep, Bella. I’m not going anywhere, don’t worry. I love you,” he said sweetly and kissed my forehead.

Wanting to be closer to him, I snuggled into his chest and he put his arm around me. I laid my head on his shoulder and told him, “I love you too.” He hummed my lullaby as I quickly fell asleep, inhaling his sweet scent.


“Bella?” I herd his quiet whisper as he stoked my face with his chilly hands. “Love, it’s time to wake up.” I squeezed my eyes shut tighter and turned my face into his shoulder, trying to block out the day. He laughed even softer for a moment and then asked, “Do you want to stay home today? I’ll stay with you if you want to stay and sleep.”

I groaned but knew I should go to school. “No, no…I’m getting up,” I said into his arm. I didn’t move and he laughed again. After a few seconds I took a deep breath and pulled myself into a sitting position. He sat up with me and I blinked, trying to see clearly.

“Are you sure you want to go? You can miss one day, Bella. It’s fine,” he tried to convince me.

“No. I don’t want to explain to Charlie. I’ll be fine, I promise,” I told him as I got up and headed toward the bathroom.

“I’ll be back soon,” he said before leaping out my window.