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Bella gets mono. Edward blames himself and feels guilty for hurting Bella again. Bella still is paranoid that Edward will leave her and starts to have convincing dreams that he will leave while she is recovering.

i wrote this a long time ago, just for myself. review and tell me if you like it and i'll keep posting. its 8 chapters now but i might tweek the end a tad. Set after Edward comes back at the end of new moon.

9. Chapter 9

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1576   Review this Chapter



If it was possible to be woken up by peacefulness, I was. I was pulled out of unconsciousness when my mind was hit by a huge surge of tranquility. I slowly became more and more aware of my surroundings, though I didn’t open my eyes. I felt cool arms holding me. I could sense that I wasn’t completely horizontal, but I wasn’t sitting up either, so I must have been leaning against something. I felt more cool hands on the side of my head, which I knew should confuse me but as soon as I even got the notion to be confused, it was squashed by another wave of calm. I also felt soft, squishy blankets underneath me, so I figured I was still in bed.

“Bella? Can you hear me, love?” I heard the velvet voice of Edward. His voice triggered the horrible memory of when I last saw him, right before he was going to leave. I couldn’t bring myself to worry or be sad about it though, because I was so filled with calm.

“Bella?” he asked again and I realized that I should answer. I tried to open my eyes, but couldn’t. I knew there was no use being frustrated by it, but I did want to see his beautiful face. “You don’t need to try to open your eyes, love. Just try to relax for a minute.” Like I even had to try. I didn’t really have a choice in the matter.

“Bella, do you remember what just happened? When you were crying? Just nod your head if you do.” Once he said it, I was hit with a flood of memories, which should have scared me but didn’t. He was leaving. I couldn’t breathe or see him as clearly as I wanted. Carlisle had come and Alice was there. He said he loved me, that he wasn’t leaving. He promised not to let go of me until I said it was okay.

I nodded my head against something hard and cold, which I assumed to be his chest.

“Bella, love, it was only a dream that made you think all those things. I am not leaving you, ever. I promise,” he said with such honesty that I couldn’t fight him on it. I could trust him. He had promised not to let me go and he hadn’t. If he was going to leave, wouldn’t he of done it by now? “It was only a dream. Please trust me. I love you, more than you can imagine.” The more it thought about it, the more it made sense. A dream would explain how I got to the bed from the forest, and why everything Edward was saying in the forest made no sense. I knew Edward loved me.

I nodded my head, to show him that I understood that it had just been a bad dream. I heard him sigh and felt his cold lips against my temple. “I love you,” he said once again.

After a second, I felt the fingers on the side of my head disappear. With them, some of the forced calmness left, but I still felt very peaceful. “Okay, love, you can open your eyes now, if you want,” said his velvet voice.

I opened my eyes to Edward’s dark room. Everything was slightly blurry, so I blinked my eyes a few times. The scene in front of them was quite strange. This time I could manage to get some confusion in around the calm.

I was leaned against the nook of Edward’s shoulder, he was shifted to the side a little so he could see me. His arm that wasn’t supporting me was holding my hand and resting on my stomach. Jasper was sitting on the edge of the bed next to us, looking at me with a focused expression. I understood where the calm had come from now. Carlisle was standing at the foot of the bed, watching me with a apprehensive expression, with his arms folded over his chest.

I looked up at Edward’s face. It was heavy with guilt but he was smiling at me, supportively.

“Are you okay?” he asked, worried. I nodded up at him.

“Bella?” Carlisle’s voice got my attention and I turned to look at him. “I need you to understand that you can’t do that again. You need to stay relaxed. If that happens again, I’ll need to take you back to the hospital, to make sure you can keep rested while you get better. I don’t want to scare you, but you need to understand.” I nodded twice, slowly, showing him that I did understand. He nodded back and looked up to Edward. He was silent for a moment, so I assumed they were having a conversation through thoughts.

“Bella? Do you think you can stay calm without Jasper?” Carlisle asked me. I nodded again and he looked concerned. “Can you say something to me, Bella?” I realized that I hadn’t said anything since I woke up.

“I’m fine,” I said in a raspy voice. My throat hurt. I realized that it was probably from screaming and crying so much. Carlisle smiled gently, understanding.

“I’ll get you some water,” he said before starting for the door. I looked at Edward and he was nodding at Jasper. Jasper slowly got off the bed, not taking his eyes off me, and I felt his effect gradually fading.

Carlisle came back with a glass of cool water. Edward took it and Carlisle and Jasper left the room, closing the door. Edward handed me the water and I drank it gratefully. It felt good on my dry throat. When I was done, he took it back and reached back to set it on the nightstand.

I sat up a little more in his arms, which still hadn’t left me. He looked at me with eyes full of fear and concern.

“I’m sorry,” I told him in a quiet voice.

“Don’t you even think about apologizing to me. I’m the one who should be begging you for forgiveness. I shouldn’t have left you. I can’t believe I hurt you so much,” he started, talking fast and urgent.

I cut him off before he could go too far. “Edward, don’t. You know I don’t blame you. I’m sorry I scared you so much. I don’t know what came over me.” I shook my head, trying to understand what happened.

Edward leaned down and kissed my forehead. His lips stayed on my forehead for a second longer and then he pulled me close, squeezing me to his chest in a tight embrace.

“Bad dream huh?” he asked, trying to lighten the mood. I chuckled once and nodded. “It’s alright, Bella. I’m just glad you’re okay.”

We sat there in a comfortable silence for a minute. I breathed in his wonderful scent, glad to be able to breathe deeply again.

I laughed quietly once more and asked, “So did you at least get to hunt before my meltdown?” He chuckled a little harder and leaned me back, showing me his beautiful, golden eyes. I sighed and smiled. “Good.”

“Yeah, because you know I’m really not leaving you for anything now,” he smiled. I grimaced, realizing what I had done. He was right. He was never leaving me now, not until I was completely better and in no risk of panicking.

We were quiet for a minute before I told him, “You can let go, you know. I’m okay now so you’re off the hook.”

His only answer was to hold me closer. I sighed and leaned into him more.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Edward told me that I should go and see Alice. I felt horrible when he told me how worried she had been about me. He held my hand as we went down to Alice’s room later that morning. She greeted me by launching herself at me and pulling me into a too-tight hug.

“Oh, Bella! I was so worried! Don’t you ever do that to me again,” she begged once she had let me go.

“I’m sorry Alice. I promise never to do that again.”

“Good. You better not,” she answered with a threatening glare.

Edward took me down to the kitchen later and I had some lunch. I had slept for a surprisingly long time. I couldn’t believe I had slept through breakfast. The rest of the day we spent trying to get back to our original routine. It mostly worked, only if it was possible, Edward kept an even closer watch on me and did not even consider letting me out of his sight.

He took me up to bed a little early that night and once I had changed into my pajamas, he scooped me up and held me tight in his arms on his bed.

“Don’t you worry about a thing Bella. I’m not going anywhere. I want you to get a good night’s sleep,” he whispered into my ear.

“I’ll try. I know you’re not going to leave Edward. I just had a moment of insanity and believed my dream. You were very convincing but I’m better now,” I tried to comfort him.

“All the same, I’ll be here all night,” he promised. I sighed and nodded into his chest and slowly drifted off to sleep.