When He Left
What if Bella hadn’t found Jacob? After a year of Edward leaving, Bella goes crazy. Charlie ships her off to Renee, who was living in Texas where Bella is put in a mental hospital. But when Edward is tracking Victoria he catches Bella’s scent.
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I sullenly stared at the gray wall in front of me. Here I sat day after day. This was my prison. This was my home. I had been living in this insane asylum for two months now. I was put in here after I began to attack anyone holding hands or kissing someone. The pain was just too much to bear. It was here in this dull, dreary place that I began to contemplate why I didn’t just kill myself. It would release me from this despair that engulfed me. It would, of course, be incredibly hard in a straightjacket. Oh well, I sighed nothing can be done about that. Suddenly a thought popped into my mind. I wondered if the pain would go away if I remembered everything about him. Remember every precious second we had spent together. It would probably end up pushing me off of the ledge of my sanity that I was desperately clinging to. It would probably tear through the final threads of my body that were clinging around the gaping hole where my heart used to be. It might even kill me but I was willing to try anything to get through this pain. So I slipped into the dreamlike trance I had used in these two lonely months to pass the time and remembered.
My dull brown eyes glazed over as I saw, so clearly, every moment that I had spent with Edward. And so I remained, staring blankly into space, until sleep pulled me under. Even as I was sleeping I dreamt of how every night he had sung me to sleep and held me in his cold, hard arms. When I woke up I continued to dredge up the images that I had so carefully tried to avoid. I remembered the pain of the venom when James bit me as I recalled the sobbing of an angel nearby. I remembered the good times with the bad. I remembered every bit of our too short life together. It was like it was happening again; I remembered everything with such detail. I remembered our meadow, I remembered our first kiss, I remembered with family, and I remembered his home. I remembered his lullaby, his piano, his room, his name. Edward. I wished that I had never gotten that paper cut that had changed everything, I wished I wasn’t such a klutz, but most of all I wished that Edward had never left. As my last memory of him, the day in the forest, ended I began to speculate what life would have been like if he had never left.
Right now we would be in our meadow, watching each other’s shadows dance across the soft grass. We would be happy, he still would refuse to change me into a vampire, but I would have learned to be content. Amazingly, there was no pain. I was so far into my own world that I wasn’t aware of anything for the next three weeks, I didn’t even taste my food, until I heard a familiar shocked voice carry across the room.
I curled up onto a ball, letting pain, despair, and self-pity crash over me. I wished that I could cry and let it all out, I wished that I was human so that I could have stayed with Bella. I moaned as her face came back in clear detail, a reminder of what would never be. My true love, gone forever. At least she wasn’t dead I thought at least she is now living a happy, normal, human life. Another wave of despair engulfed me as I remembered that Bella’s life would never be perfect while she was with me, and she deserved perfect.
As night began to fall, I got up and focused myself on catching Victoria’s scent. She would pay for helping James hunt Bella; I was going to make sure of that. I soon caught a whiff of her scent nearby, it led into town where she had undoubtedly, stopped to hunt. As I crept through town, I soon caught the mere shadow of the scent that used to keep my life going. Bella.
I gasped, what was she doing in Texas? I followed her scent up to a house where I listened to Renee and Phil’s dreams. Phil was dreaming about baseball, nothing interesting there. Renee was remembering the day that she had sent Bella to the mental hospital. I reeled back, shocked, what would my sweet Bella do to be classified as crazy. I began listening to Renee’s dream once again. Now she was talking to Bella one last time. “Honey, I wish that I didn’t have to do this,” Renee said “But after Edward left, you just have been acting… odd.” I flinched, what had I done to Bella? I was disgusted with myself. “You can’t just attack people because they are holding hands, even if they remind you of him. I would never do this if I had any other choice and I hope that you get better soon.” Renee walked forward and kissed her daughters forehead, then turned her back and walked away.
I took off and ran back to the woods to keep myself from bursting into the insane asylum and taking Bella away with me. But, grudgingly, I admitted to myself that I would never be able to leave unless I got one last look at Bella.
I knew that I couldn’t stand that possibility that she might reject me if I came back when she was awake. So decided to go back at night and sneak into Bella’s room. Unfortunately, the sun had started to rise so my plans for that night were thwarted. I decided to hunt so that the wait until nightfall seemed shorter.
In the end I caught one bobcat and an elk. After my burning thirst was quenched, I began to pace through the trees, willing the sun to move faster across the sky. It seemed to purposely be going extra slow today, just to annoy me. When night finally fell, I raced to the asylum.