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What if Chapter 18 of New Moon changed?

Summary:
Please take a look back on my bio. Basically, what if Bella picked up the phone instead of Jacob? Thanks Chareter again for the AWEOSOME banner! xxx Bella and Alice's Hug


Notes:
Written with Chareter, pretty pretty pretty please reveiw and tell me if to write the next chapter.


8. Time Stands Still

Rating 5/5   Word Count 537   Review this Chapter

Bella’s POV

I woke, feeling the hole in my chest rip the furthest it ever has been. My imagination had brought him into my room but at least he didn’t speak… I don’t think I could have handled that…

And Alice…

She had left so soon…

The hole somehow seemed to have ripped impossibly bigger with me just thinking about…

I couldn’t…

It hurt… too much…

I sat up from the uncomfortable position I had been sleeping in on the floor. I bet I would have been aching and stiff and sore from sleeping on the floor, but the pain in my chest had taken almost all of my attention.

I clutched my sides in pain and leant over myself, almost curling myself into a ball. I rested my head on the edge of my bed, the pain in my chest making me unable to move at all…

There was a timid knock at the door, but I didn’t acknowledge it; it would be Charlie and he’s seen me in worse states.

“Bells?” he asked. “How you feelin’?” I let out the only noise I could, besides a scream. “Are you going to school?” I shook my head, trying to stop the sobs and tears that were threatening to erupt in front of Charlie. “That bad? Well you call me if you need me. Jake’s there too if you need him…”

“Uh-huh,” I mumbled through my closed lips. A soft, timid hand stroked my back before it was gone, and I heard my door close.

I couldn’t hold it in any more…

* * *

I don’t know how long I lay against my bed, crying my eyes out, shaking as if I was freezing…

Why was everything terrible deciding to happen to me now?

Why couldn’t it just spread out through my life?

And I can only think of one reason why this is all happening to me.

Me.

Thinking he loved me…

Stupid love…

Love’s horrible…

It makes you so vulnerable; it opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. I built up all these defences; I built up a whole suit of armour, so that nothing can hurt me, and then on stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into my stupid life…

I gave him a piece of me.

He didn’t ask for it…

But he did something dumb one day, like kiss me or smile at me, and then my life wasn’t my own anymore…

All those lies…

Love gets inside you.

It brings out the worst and the best out of you.

It ate me out and left me crying in the darkness, alone…

A simple phrase like ‘Goodbye’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart…

It hurts…

Stupid love…

It’s not my fault, it’s loves…

Who am I kidding? It’s my fault…

I believed the lie, the stupid lie, that he loved me.

My cries and sobs suddenly came more violently, echoing through the empty house.I needed to get away.

Collecting myself, as best as I could, I got up. I tested my legs before I moved, just in case they couldn’t take my weight.

They couldn’t.

I collapsed onto the floor, still clutching my bed for support.

I needed to leave…

I could only think of one place where my thoughts of him lessened…

La Push it was…