Text Size Large SizeMedium SizeSmall Size    Color Scheme Black SchemeWhite SchemeGrey SchemePaper Scheme        

Funny stories.

Summary:
Well, in this selection of stories, you'll find stuff to make EVERYONE LAUGH. Enjoy! GYS THE PURPLE FLAMINGO IS GETTING IT;S OWN SOTRY....,BUT THATS A PREVEIW OF CHAP.1


Notes:
Let them laugh!


1. Jasperella, Edwardette and Emmettie.

Rating 4/5   Word Count 501   Review this Chapter

Alice's POV for this one.

Me, Bella and Rosalie were shopping one day when I had an idea. "Hey, I have an idea!!", I squealed excitedly. I whispered the plan to them and we headed to New Look, Boots and the Off-License.

While Rosalie was in the off-license, me and Bella called Charlie, and arranged for Bella to sleepover at the Cullen’s for the weekend.

Then Rosalie came out, and we all went back. While Bella and Rosalie fiddled with the blood in the kitchen; I skipped into the living room, where the boys were, and asked "Do you want any blood? We thought you might want some so we got some for you, because you haven't hunted for a while."

They replied that they would love some, so I went back into the kitchen and got the blood. I poured tasteless, odorless alcohol into it, then went back out to the boys, and handed them their cups.

Jasper's was gone in a second, Emmett close after with Edward right behind, so I grabbed their cups and refilled them with blood and alcohol. This happened about 23 more times, then they all sank to the ground, unconscious.

Rosalie grabbed Emmett, I grabbed Jasper and Bella grabbed Edward. We took them up to the bathroom and sat them in chairs.

Rosalie put the pearliest pink lipstick on Emmett, very very carefully. Then applied mascara, pink eye shadow, blush, fake tan and black eyeliner.

Bella put deepest black mascara on Edward's lashes, added bright red lippy, sparkly blush and sparkly blue eye shadow, complete with fake tan.

I put sparkly purple eye shadow on Jasper, with hot pink lipstick, purple mascara and blush, fake tan included.

Then we removed their clothes and their undies, put thongs on them, stuffed bras, and ball gowns, with matching high-heeled shoes. We tied puses to their hands, with make-up inside.

After that, we did their nails. Filed them, and painted them. Jasper's were sparkly purple, like his dress and shoes, Emmett's were pink, and Edward's were blue.

We styled their hair, using curlers, straightners, hairspray and gel.

And the jewelry. Rings, necklaces, bracelets, even clip-on earrings,

Finally we were done...Except for one thing...We opened their eyes and put hot pink contact lenses in, and glued their eyes open.

Walking carefully down the stairs, carrying them, we got outside and chained them to trees, so they looked like they were standing there.

Then we took lots of pictures and put a big mirror in front of them, laughing the whole time.We set up a tiny camera on top of the mirror, and we ran back to Alice's room and talked until we heard the boys stir.

"ALICE!” Jasper roared, at the same time Emmett screamed "ROSALIE", and Edward shouted "BELLA".

We collapsed laughing, and watched them struggle. Emmett, trying to break free without ruining his nails, Jasper sliding in his high heels and Edward refusing to ruin his dress.

When they eventually got free, they discovered what they had UNDERNEATH.

They didn't notice until they ripped the dresses to shreds. And they pathetically tried to cover themselves. Unsuccessfully.

They were the HOTTEST transvestites EVER.