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Funny stories.

Summary:
Well, in this selection of stories, you'll find stuff to make EVERYONE LAUGH. Enjoy! GYS THE PURPLE FLAMINGO IS GETTING IT;S OWN SOTRY....,BUT THATS A PREVEIW OF CHAP.1


Notes:
Let them laugh!


2. Uh-oh....

Rating 0/5   Word Count 368   Review this Chapter

Jasper was depressed. again.

Jasper was sitting in a dark corner.


Jasper was hugging a little doll.

Jasper's doll was called Alice2


Jasper loved Alice2 very much.


Jasper made Alice2 out of: a lock of Alice's hair, a sock, a shrunken dress and a ribbon.


Jasper was going crazy.

One day Jasper was in depressed mode.
But then...
A PURPLE FLAMINGO RAPED HIM.
Then Edward raped it.
And the story moves onto Edward.


''Wait, what story?!", Emmett yells.
''THE ON ABOUT YOUR DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS'', screamed 'The story'
Emmett starts singing...
I'LL KEEP YOU MY DIRTY LITTLE SECERTTT,
DON'T TELL ANYONE,
OR YOU'LL BE JUST ANOTHER REGRET.
HEY EDDIE, I KNOW YOUR DIRTY LIL SECRET.

Emmett then rapes Edward. (''Wheeeee'')
Esme punches Edward, and screams at Jasper:
HOW DAREYOU RAPE MY FLAMINGO...WAIT WHAT? "
Jasper starts crying and hides under the sofa.
Esme pulls one of Emmett's legs off, then pulls his **** off
Then she pulls Carlisle's and Edward's **** off.
And rapes herself.
Then the REAL Alice walks in.

She was wearing....

A STRIPPER DRESS....

Then Bella came in....

She was wearing....

A STRIPPER DRESS....

They whirled round the collapsible posts they had.

So the purple flamingo raped Bella and Alice.

And they started singing the *cough* sexual version*cough* of the GUMMY BEAR SONG...

CAUSE IM A GUMMY BEAR,

CAUSE IM A YUMMY BEAR,

CAUSE IM A ******* LICKING **** SUCKIN GUMMY BEAR.

And with that, they promptly turned around and walked into a wall....

Oh dear.

Then Alice, ate a pancake.

Alice went crazy.

Needless to say, Edward is now bald.

Jasper has half an A***.

Carlisle has *cough* 'less manhood'*cough*

And Emmett has his stapled to his forehead.

Then.....A GIANT ORANGE PANCAKE ATTACKED THE MUTANT ZOMBIE ZEBRA, WHICH FELL ON EMMETT.

Emmett got COVERED IN GREEN SLIME.

Edward laughed...UNTIL HE WAS HIT IN THE FACE BY A MUTANT ZOMBIE ZEBRA PIE!!!

SPLAT! SMASH! OWCH!

Then Jasper came out from under the sofa.

Sucking his thumb and hugging Alice2.

Moments later, the werewolves started attacking them with spitballs.

They all jumped up to fight, except Jasper.

Jasper was sitting in a corner, sucking his thumb and hugging Alice2.

He didn't see what was happening.

Emmett started coughing.

He coughed and coughed.

Then something came out.

A rubber ducky!

"JASPER, I FOUND YOUR FUCKY DUCKY" Emmett screamed.

"YAY FUCKY DUCKY", Jasper yelled.

In the end, they all went to bed and didn't sleep.