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Bella's Decision

Summary:
This is a type of fanfiction I thought I would NEVER write! Bella has a tough decision to make when Edward comes back a few days before Christmas! Second and final chapter is up!!!!! Sorry about the wait!!!!!!


Notes:


1. White Horse

Rating 3.5/5   Word Count 3612   Review this Chapter

Bella’s POV

I had barely awakened when a noticed a faint tapping on my window. I walked over, opened it, and searched for the source of the disruption. Seeing nothing, I closed it, turned around, and there he was. I quickly slapped my arm. He was still there so I continued trying to snap out of my hallucination until he walked up to me and grabbed my wrists.

“Please, don’t do that, Bella,” he begged in his velvet voice. I refused to let his name enter my mind. What was he doing here? I looked into his golden eyes, and tears formed in mine.

“What are you doing here?”I asked in a low whisper. His eyes dropped from mine to the floor.

“I’m violating my promise, going against my initial urge to protect you from myself, and begging you take me back. I haven’t exactly reached the third part yet, though. I was an idiot, Bella. I love you, and I never stopped loving you, but I wanted to save you from what I am. I don’t want this life for you. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me, love!”

I started pacing my room. Tears were flowing from my eyes at an alarming rate. He started to move toward me, but I held up my hand. “Let me think!” I commanded between sobs. He nodded and watched me. I battled through every bit of pain and heartache within me, and tried to find a single part of myself that was unscarred, but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t find a single shred of my heart, mind, and soul that could forgive him for the last three months. Another hole tore through my heart at this realization. As much as I loved Edward- his name brought on a whole new round of pain and tears as it blazed through my mind- I couldn’t forgive him, and I couldn’t take him back. I blinked away my tears and steeled myself to hurt him just as he had hurt me.

“No, I can’t do it, Edward,” his name burned like James’s venom. “I’m sorry, but it’s too late. If you loved me, then you shouldn’t have left.” I went to my closet for a suitcase and started packing. I needed to get away from Forks. I needed to leave the memories behind. He was stunned. “Goodbye, Edward,” I said, and then I walked out the door. He didn’t follow me. I wrote a note to Charlie, telling him that I was going to Jacksonville. When I walked to my truck, I noticed Edward’s car blocking my way out. He was in the driver’s seat. I held back a sob, and whispered, “Just let me go.” Pain twisted his angelic features as he backed up, and let me out of the driveway. I turned on the radio to distract myself from the fact that he was following me in his car. A newer song had just begun.

Say you’re sorry. That face of an angel comes out just when you need it to, as I pace back and forth all this time ‘cause I honestly believed in you. Holdin’ on, the days drag on. Stupid girl, I shoulda known, shoulda known,

that I’m not a princess. This ain’t a fairy tale. I’m not the one you’ll sweep off her feet, lead her up a stair well. This ain’t Hollywood. This is a small town. I was a dreamer before you went and let me down. Now, it’s too late for you and your white horse to come around.

Maybe, I was naive, got lost in your eyes, and never really had a chance. My mistake, I didn’t know to be in love you had to fight to have the upper hand. I had so many dreams about you and me, happy endings, but now I know,

that I’m not a princess. This ain’t a fairy tale. I’m not the one you’ll sweep off her feet, lead her up a stair well. This ain’t Hollywood. This is a small town. I was a dreamer before you went and let me down. Now, it’s too late for you and your white horse to come around.

And there you are on your knees, beggin’ for forgiveness, beggin’ for me. Just like I always wanted, but I’m so sorry.

‘Cause I’m not your princess. This ain’t a fairy tale. I’m gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well. This is a big world. That was a small town. There in my rear view mirror disappearing now, and it’s too late for you and you’re white horse, now it’s too late for you and your white horse to catch me now.

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, try and catch me now. It’s too late to catch me now.

It was like the person picking the songs had known what I was doing. I couldn’t believe what was going on. I had spent the last three months mentally begging him to come back to me, but when he finally did I couldn’t forgive him.

I checked my rear view mirror. He was still there. I looked at the road again. All of the sudden, his engine revved as he sped around me and stopped his car in the middle of the road, giving me just enough space to stop without hitting him. I tried to go around him when a black Mercedes appeared out of nowhere and blocked the other lane. Alice climbed out of the driver’s seat, and Edward rolled down his window to talk to her. He slipped something out the window, and Alice began to walk toward me with it. I put my window down. She reached in and hugged me.

“Are you sure he’s unforgivable?” she asked. I nodded as more tears tolled down my cheeks. The smile left her face for a fraction of a second, and she handed me the thing Edward had given her. “This is one of the tickets to Jacksonville that Carlisle and Esme got you for your birthday. I know that you were planning to drive, but if you do he’ll follow you the entire way there.” she held up the other ticket. “I’ll fly with you, if you want me to. If not, I’ll rip the voucher up. Jasper is still in the car so he can take it back to Carlisle if need be.”

I looked at her. It would be nice to talk to Alice. I missed her. I had one question for her, though, but of course she knew what I was going to ask.

“He wouldn’t let me say goodbye. I wouldn’t have left without doing so, but he made me. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have listened. There were lots of things I shouldn’t have done when that happened. Allowing it being the major one!” she said, frustration and regret thick in her voice. I thought about it, and smiled.

“I could use a friend right about now. Are you sure you want to fly to Jacksonville with me?” I asked. Her smile returned to full force. I looked out my windshield just as Edward sped off. Jasper pulled the Mercedes forward, and rolled the window down.

“I’m sorry, Bella. This never would’ve happened if I hadn’t lost control at your party,” he said. I rolled my eyes.

“It’s not your fault. I’m still alive,” I said in an off-hand voice. He laughed coldly.

“Yeah, and the numb emotions pouring off of you are tainted with misery and heartbreak. We’ll make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid. Right Alice?” he looked at her. “Alice?” Jasper was out of the car in half a second. Alice’s eyes were out of focus and a look of horror was cemented into her expression. She returned to reality with a scream.

“He’s not going home. He’s driving to the Quileute reservation,” she said frantically. Jasper’s eyes filled with dread, but I was confused.

“Why would he be driving to the Quileute reservation?” I asked. “Wait, I thought your family was banned from the reservation.”

“We are. It’s part of the treaty we made. Do you know the phone number of anyone on the reservation?” Alice asked. I nodded. She handed me her cell phone. “Dial it quickly, please!” Jasper slipped his arms around her and kissed her cheek. I dialed Billy’s number as quick as possible. He answered the phone.

“Hello?”

“Billy, I don’t what’s going on but-“ I cut off when Alice held her hand out for the phone. I gave it to her.

Alice’s POV

“Billy Black, this is Alice Cullen. My brother, Edward, is on his way to the reservation. If there are currently any wolves on the reservation, please, tell them not to hurt him. He’s not thinking clearly. He’s seeking death because it’s the only release he has from his pain. Please, just ask them to hold off, until my husband and I can get there and force him to realize what he’s doing. I’m begging you to grant me this request,” I said as quickly as I could without making my words incoherent.

“Why should I ask them not to uphold the treaty?” he asked in a cold voice.

“He’s not himself. He just wants to die, and I know that you think we are horrible creatures that need to be killed, but we are capable of love. Edward is like a brother to me, and I love him like a brother. He’s like a son to Carlisle and Esme. It would break my family’s heart if he died, and think of what it would do to Bella. She recently refused to forgive him for leaving her even though he only left because he didn’t want her to be a vampire. He was trying to get her to live a normal human life, and putting himself through Hell in the process. She’ll blame herself. She’s been hurt enough, and she’s like a sister to me. She always has been. Please, help me save my family from this pain. The situation is bad enough,” I begged. It was silent for a few minutes.

“I’ll tell them not to attack, but if he hurts anyone they won’t hesitate to kill him. I’ll let them know that you have temporary permission to cross the boundary line, but only to retrieve Edward. Thank you for the warning.” he hung up. I snapped my phone shut. I looked at Bella.

“Drive to Seattle and wait for me at the airport. Jasper and I have to go and get Edward.” I instructed. She nodded and restarted her truck. I got into the Mercedes, and Jasper drove with a purpose back to Forks. We hit 264 mph hour for a minute, and finally reached the reservation. There were three Quileutes standing in the middle of the road. Jasper hit the brakes, and we got out of the car quickly. We were ten yards away from them when they held each held up a hand. We stopped, and that’s when I noticed the smoke rising from the woods. Jasper’s eyes followed mine.

“He attacked, and we had no choice. I’m sorry. It’s almost as if he knew that we wouldn’t hurt him unless he hurt us first,” the one in the middle said solemnly. I choked back a sob, and Jasper put his arms around me again.

“He must have heard it in your thoughts. Edward is,” a sob escaped my control and I corrected myself, “was a telepath.”

“He may have been a vampire, but I do regret having to destroy him,” the same Quileute said. Jasper nodded slightly, and lifted me into his arms. He carried me to the Mercedes, and put me in the driver’s seat. He got into Edward’s car, and drove it. The ride was silent until my cell phone vibrated. I answered it.

“Hello Emmett.” my voice broke at every syllable.

“What’s wrong, Alice?” he said immediately alarmed.

“Bella couldn’t forgive Edward for leaving. He wasn’t thinking clearly so he went to the Quileute reservation. I had Bella call one of them so I could talk, and I explained what was going on. They promised not to kill him unless he attacked first, and he did. Edward is gone. One of the wolves had some broken bones from his attack. He heard in their mind that they wouldn’t kill him unless he forced them to. When he went to Bella’s house this morning, she ended up packing to go and live with her mother. I’m using one of the tickets to Jacksonville that Carlisle and Esme got Bella and flying out with her. She’s using the other one.” I said. Emmett was silent. In the background, I heard Esme repeating the word ‘no’ over and over. Her voice was breaking. We were halfway to Seattle when we came up behind Bella. She noticed that we were behind her, and pulled over to the shoulder of the road. She walked straight past me to the Volvo. Her face was furious, but when she realized that Jasper was driving Edward’s car, she stopped. Jasper got out and kept her calm while he gave her the bad news.

“We were too late. He’s dead.”

Bella’s eyes widened. I didn’t realize that I was still on the phone until Emmett regained his voice. “Keep a close watch on Bella for the next few years. I don’t want her trying to follow him. What the hell was he thinking?” Emmett’s voice was cracking. Bella opened the passenger side of the Mercedes.

“I want to talk to the others before I go to Florida, if that’s all right,” she said quietly. Emmett’s voice sounded in my ear again.

“Bring her!” he demanded. I looked to the future. I had to make sure that this was a good idea. It was fine. I nodded and she went back to her truck. It was a long and lonely ride all of the way to Alaska, especially since Bella was driving her truck. We made it there eventually, though. Esme met us at the door. She hugged Bella, and ushered her inside. There wasn’t much to say, but Bella kept apologizing. She blamed herself. Rosalie was the only one who didn’t tell her otherwise. She remained silent until we were about to leave for the airport.

“Bella, would you mind leaving your truck here. It will save time, and I want to tinker around with it. All of our cars are in perfect condition, and I have a feeling I’m going to need the distraction,” Rose asked. Bella nodded.

“Okay, that’s fine. I’ll miss all of you,” she said. I gave her a shocked look.

“If you don’t mind, I like to stay in touch with you, Bella. We don’t blame you for his decision. We all knew how it could go,” I said. The others murmured in agreement, even Rosalie was nodding. She smiled slightly.

“Bye,” she said as we walked to Carlisle’s car. Bella gave Edward’s Volvo a lingering look, and tears poured from her eyes again. She wiped them away and whispered, “I’m sorry,” one last time. I could tell by the look she was giving his car, that she wasn’t talking to me or anyone in the house. The ride to the airport was another silent one. When we got there, she asked to borrow my cell phone.

Bella’s POV

I dialed my mom’s number. She answered after a few rings.

“Hello?”

“Hey, mom, it’s Bella. I’m at the Sea-Tac airport. I’m about to board a plane to Jacksonville, actually. Sorry that it’s such short notice, but can you pick me up from the airport there,” I said, trying not to let my voice break.

“Of course, I can. Are you visiting or staying?” she asked hopefully.

“Staying, Forks is getting harder to survive,” I said. She sighed.

“My cell phone is dying. I’ll see you in a few hours. I love you, Bella,” she said.

“I love you, too, Mom,” I said, and then I hung up. The flight seemed to take minutes instead of hours. I saw my mom and Phil waiting for me, and ran to them. Alice was right behind me. I hugged my mom and completely broke down. She held me tight rubbed my back. Alice introduced herself.

“My name is Alice Cullen,” she said as she shook Phil’s hand and then my mother’s.

“What happened?” Phil asked worriedly.

“My brother, Edward, committed suicide this morning after talking to Bella,” Alice said sorrowfully. Renee’s arms tightened around me. “My family and I have assured Bella that it wasn’t her fault, but she still feels guilty.” Phil put his arms around my mother and I then pulled Alice into the group hug. When we broke apart, Alice said that she had to catch a plane back to Seattle.

“We’re having a family meeting as soon as I get home so I’d better hurry,” she said as she hugged me, and then whispered in my ear, “please, don’t follow him, Bella. I couldn’t stand to lose you, too.”

“I won’t follow him,” I promised. We went our separate ways. Mom sat in the backseat with me. I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow of my new room. It had been a very stressful day.

A week later...

I sat on porch and stared out at the rain. I had gotten so used to it in Forks that it was almost comforting. Leaning back in my chair, I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply. The sound of the rain hitting the roof was peaceful. I heard tires splashing through the water, and a car horn interrupted my thoughts. I looked at it with wide eyes. It was the Volvo. Alice and Jasper climbed out and walked up to me. I hadn’t expected a visit so soon. Their faces were slightly solemn.

“Hey, Bella!” Alice said as cheerfully as she could manage. She had an envelope in her hands. She gave it to me. “We found this in the Volvo. It was addressed to you. The note is your business not ours so we didn’t read it. There was a note for each of us. Mine instructed me to give you yours,” she said. Jasper reached into his pocket.

“My note specifically said that I was supposed to give you these if you wanted them,” he said dangling a key chain in front of me. I took it. It was the keys to the Volvo.

“Are you serious?” I asked incredulously. Jasper nodded.

“His note made it very plain that the car is yours if you want it.” Jasper smiled. I curled my fingers around the keys, and opened the note.

Dearest Bella,
If you are reading this, then I have fulfilled my plans of suicide. Please believe me when I say that I never wanted to hurt you. It killed me to do so, no pun intended. As much as I love you, I respect your decision and hope that you will respect mine. If you want the Volvo, it’s yours. It has much better gas mileage than your truck. I don’t want you to blame yourself for any of my choices. I certainly don’t want you to repeat my final act. Stay alive, Bella. Be happy. You deserve everything that life can give you. Goodbye, sweet Isabella!

Yours beyond death,

Edward Cullen

P.S. You are my princess, but I accidentally messed up our fairy tale!

I folded the letter and put it back in the envelope. As I wiped the tears out of my eyes, I asked, “Would you like to come inside?” They nodded. “Mom, we have visitors!” I said as I peeped into the living room. Renee smiled as Alice and Jasper followed me to the couch. I motioned for them to sit down.

“We can’t stay long. Our plane leaves in half an hour,” Alice said. “We were instructed to make sure that Bella received what was left for her. Edward always did have a way with words. My note was six pages long.”

We talked until Alice and Jasper had to leave. Mom escorted us to the door and noticed the Volvo.

“If you drove all of the way down here, then why are you taking a plane back?” she asked.

“It was firmly specified that if Bella wanted his car, then it was hers. It’s actually better for the car if she keeps it. In one note, Edward told Emmett to blow it up if Bella didn’t want it,” Jasper said with a small laugh. Renee’s eyes widened. I smiled.

“I’ll give you a ride to the airport,” I said. They nodded. Alice sat in the passenger seat while Jasper sat in the back. I drove carefully, and we made it there with a little bit of time to spare. It was hard to say goodbye to them again, but I knew that Alice would keep in touch via phone and e-mail. I didn’t know what to think about Edward leaving me his car, but I was grateful to have it. I didn’t want to forget him. The memories were wonderful and happy. It was the end and his assisted suicide that hurt. I didn’t think as drove home. I just let go. All of those times that I had asked him to slow down when he was driving didn’t make sense anymore as I pushed down on the accelerator and hit 103 mph on the straight stretch. The speed was like an adrenaline rush, and I liked it. I cruised around for hours, enjoying the sense of freedom. Finally, I pulled up to the house. The sun came out just in time to set. It was like an almost perfect ending to a bittersweet day.

“Thank you, Edward,” I said quietly before sliding out of the driver’s seat, and locking the car doors. I walked into the house, and hugged Renee before starting dinner. I could see how it was going to be. After all, you have to live life to the fullest, or else it isn’t worth living!